Finding Hope and Love Again via www.xplus.com.ng

When those you choose to love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving again. The pain that comes from deep love makes life ever more fruitful hence to stop loving isn't really an option and that forces the question "how do we get beyond the inevitable pain associated with selfless loving?"

Here are 7 effective tips collected from relationship experts and conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart and tried, ever so gradually, to move on.

7. Go through the process, not around it.

You have to grieve in order to move on. Arguably the most difficult task for someone with a broken heart is to stand still and feel the crack but that is exactly the best thing to do because there is really no shortcut without its share of obstructions. With time, the pain begins to lose its stronghold.

6. Detach and revel in your independence again.

Filling the void yourself — without rushing to a new relationship or trying desperately to win your lover back — is essentially what detaching is all about. Buddha taught that attachment that leads to suffering. Which is why when moving on, the first and most direct path to happiness and peace is detachment

5. Highlight your strengths by noting past accomplishments (mentally or written) And then transforming it to work out your grief— by running, swimming, exercising, walking, or kick-boxing — is going to give you immediate relief. On a physiological level — because exercise stimulates the brain but also on an emotional level, you are taking charge and becoming the master of your mind and body. Plus you can visualize the fellow responsible for your pain and kick their faces. Priceless.

4. Allow some fantasizing.
Grief wouldn’t be following its natural process if there's no yearning for the lost love. Basically, if you are trying to banish a (esp. sexual) fantasy from your head by telling yourself “I’m not going to fantasize (or think of being intimate )" might make it worse… In a famous psychological study, a group of subjects were told to think about anything but whatever they did, they were not supposed to think about a white bear. Guess what they all thought about? (A white bear.). You Get!

3. Help someone else and Create a new world
When in pain, the recommended antidote is to box up the feelings, sort them, then try to find a use for them because when you turn your attention to another person — especially someone who is struggling with the same kind of pain — you most likely forget about yourself for moments. And let’s face it, on some days, that feels like a miracle. Creating a new world is important especially if both lovers' world has collided (mainly mutual friends). Make new friends who can’t even spell their names and take this opportunity to try something new — trainings, art, a new book, blog and expect a fresh beginning… without him (or her).

2. Laugh. And cry.
Laughter heals on many levels just as much as crying does. Most don't think it’s a simple coincidence that you always feel better after a good cry. There are probably tons of physiological and pyschological reasons that contribute to the healing power mix of laughter and tears.

1. Find hope & Love Again on www.Xplus.com.ng
There is one emotion that is stronger than fear, and that is forgiveness. But forgiveness requires hope: believing that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever, that one day you’ll be excited to get up in the morning or go to movie with friends. Hope is believing that the looming sadness will evaporate, therefore in order to forgive and move past fear, you need to find hope.
And remember to love again…
Usually after our hearts are bruised and burned from a relationship that ended, we have two options: we can close off pieces of our heart so that one day no one will be able to get inside. Or we can love again. www.Xplus.com.ng offers the Hope & Love. Make that Glued Connection Today.