This is not something I take with ease, and I have considered it a lot over the years, but I don’t know what to do anymore.

I am 33 years old, and my relationship with my mother is toxic. It always has been, but I’m tired of apologizing just to fix things.

Every few months, my mother starts an argument out of the blue, this last argument ensued over my brother and I talking about a tv show and begins to belittle me and attack my personality and hobbies.

She brings up things from when I was a youngster, which I’ve apologized for but forgot every unfavorable thing she did to me. i.e, always put me down, argued I wasn’t girly enough, named me a selfish B when I was 12, criticized me for her and my father’s arguments, etc.

I’ve gone to counseling and walked past everything until she brings it up. I don’t know what to do anymore. She makes me feel like junk. I have a good stable job and my own house, but it’s never good enough. She refuses to go to counseling and refuses ever to apologize or admit when she is wrong.

No one can ever have a different opinion than her. When she doesn’t get into one of her attitudes, we have a good time together, but I always watch what I say. I’m at the end of my rope this time and need some advice.

I don’t need her to apologize, I know she never will, I just don’t know what to do at this point.

Since you have your own Apartment,s
I'm guessing she lives with you.
I can't tell you to send your mom away from your house but the only solution is for both of you to live separately.

It's not only your mom.Most Nigerian parents find it hard to accept faults.You are old enough to live alone that is why you are always at logger heads with her.She still sees you as a kid under her.

Avoid discussions with her in every possible where except necessary and also keep mute most times when she starts her tantrums... I really understand what it feels like!

Sometimes as one is aging the grumpy nature begin to manifest... just learn how to avoid her when she s bn grumpy. This is ur mother oooh, imagine if she s ur mother in-law that come to stay with u, what wl u do? Send her away? Just switch on ur tolerant mode and make fun out of every and anything trust me she wil adjust ( but don’t expect it fast and easy)

My case also.

Let me grab something from this thread sha