I have a serious question for you men/boys. I am asking you out of sincerely because I want to understand this dilemma. I may be tripping and making a big deal out of nothing. But work with me on this one.

Family and friends got together yesterday and we are enjoying ourselves. Most of the people that were gathered were married or engaged. Now my friend's boyfriend made a coy remark to a woman about how she is revealing and if he wasn't with a woman. He would definitely take her. Now here the question, this guy is in a serious relationship with my friend and made a comment to another woman sexually o inappropriately.

Do you men/boys think He was wrong or he was just being a "man"? I told him that he was wrong and should apologize to the girl and his girlfriend. He said he did nothing wrong.

Ladies, what do you think about this?

Just "being a man" is no excuse. Some men are just tacky and classless.
I am more than sure being that his woman desires men, if she were to make the
same remark about another man and simply said "I'm just being a woman" he wouldn't have it.

Let me go get 'em boyz b4 commenting, I reserve dat nw!

Hard to judge w/o knowing the context, what type of people they are, etc. If it was like a serious comment, then probably bad. But he could just have easily just been joking or only half-serious. And if he is half-serious and his GF is also around, then it isn't at all disrespectful, is it? Especially if she has a playful nature too.

So really depends on the couple.

To me though, this is the type of thing you avoid as a guy. It can lead to nowhere but trouble. I generally don't give other women compliments when I'm with a girl just to avoid wahala. . .

it depends, maybe d guy indirectly told his girl to dres lik d babe he is flaterin.

Inked_Nerd:


Hmmm, I don't really see the dudes comment as a compliment. . . In my opinion it seemed more like he was making an underhanded pass at her.

Hrm. . .

Now my friend's boyfriend made a coy remark to a woman about how she is revealing and if he wasn't with a woman.  He would definitely take her.

So this is what Mrs Eve is saying he said. Now if the quote was, "Yo t.i.tties sittin right in that dress there, if I wasn't with my chick we could head back to the crib and f.u.ck."

Then I agree, definitely out of line. But very few guys will come out and say the above (even if they are thinking it in their heads). Most will say instead say something more innocuous that implies the above.

Mrs Eve, any chance you could supply us with the exact quote?

I think U should give him some credit for saying it out openly before all present. He got it off his chest thereby rescuing himself from meditating on it when alone.
Admitted his choice of words might have come off as offensive to his woman but at least his unguarded words reveal to her what stirrs him.

The guy was being real. If I was in his shoes, however, I would rather whisper my thoughts to my woman instead, not even to another man. My actions might pinch her but if she understands the kind of person I am she'l come to agree it was better I took that approach.

I could say something like, ''this chic looks like nutty sex in a public place, ''
to which, if she's a good mood, she might respond with something along the lines of
''Is that what nutty sex in a public place looks like to U?''
and we can strike our own private conversation in a public place that might lead to both of us learning more about the other person thinks and bla bla bla.

It's wise to learn to put our emotions aside &look for the benefits out of everything that could arise in our relationships. At the end of the day, this woman in question could have learned a thing or two more about what her guy finds sexually provocative in women & would be better positioned to keep his focus instead of feeling scorned or disrespected.

Knowledge is power.

The issue I have is the comment that he made toward the girl.  The girl is no more than 18 or 19 years old.  This guy is in his damn 40's!  My friend is very attractive and very much in shape.  I do not see anything else he could want in a woman.  However, the fact that he said that if he was not in a relationship he would definitely take that. 

For those who doesn't know the phrase "take that" means to bleep.  I am not saying that he shouldn't give the girl a compliment. MEN ARE VERY VISUAL and any sign of mammalias and nyansh you men go gaga.  I expect men to be dogs when it come to that.   However, he is in a relationship talking to a woman in such sexual manner.  I told him to apologize to the girl and his woman because that was disrespectful and he should know better being an old man. 

It doesn't matter what she had on or what she do.  He is not to jeopardize his relationship for a piece of nyansh.  My husband may as very well thinking about fucking Rhianna or Ciara, but he is not saying that in my face. We all have thought about doing something with a celebrity or a cute coworker but SOME OF US HAVE class enough to not act on it especially when we are in a serious relationship.

My friend know about the situation and feel bad.  I also feel bad for her because no woman should hear from her man that he would "take that" from another woman.

that guy is a player,end of!!!

Mrs, Eve:

I have a serious question for you men/boys.  I am asking you out of sincerely because I want to understand this dilemma.  I may be tripping and making a big deal out of nothing.   But work with me on this one.  

Family and friends got together yesterday and we are enjoying ourselves.  Most of the people that were gathered were married or engaged.  Now my friend's boyfriend made a coy remark to a woman about how she is revealing and if he wasn't with a woman.  He would definitely take her.  Now here the question, this guy is in a serious relationship with my friend and made a comment to another woman sexually o inappropriately.  

Do you men/boys think He was wrong or he was just being a "man"? I told him that he was wrong and should apologize to the girl and his girlfriend.  He said he did nothing wrong.

Ladies, what do you think about this?  

just mind ur own business ahh! Are you his girlfriend? afterall his girlfriend knows the type of man he is before she accepted him so she knows what she is in for shikena  

Bankole_O:

just mind your own business ahh! Are you his girlfriend? afterall his girlfriend knows the type of man he is before she accepted him so she knows what she is in for shikena  

Excuse me? First of all, the conduct was done IN MY FACE. It will be HIGHLY DIFFICULT to mind my business when the shit was done in my presence and the man is dating my good friend. If she knew what kind of man she was dealing with why would she be shocked and sad? That do not sound like someone who knew from jump what kind of dog she is dating.

Mrs, Eve:

Excuse me? First of all, the conduct was done IN MY FACE. It will be HIGHLY DIFFICULT to mind my business when the poo was done in my presence and the man is dating my good friend. If she knew what kind of man she was dealing with why would she be shocked and sad? That do not sound like someone who knew from jump what kind of dog she is dating.

Well his an adult and has freedom of speech

@ Poster, as much as the guy is wrong in his remark, you were also wrong to have told him publicly to apologise to his girl friend and the lady in question, but what ever happen to freedom of speech.

Mrs Eve, the guy was wrong to say that to the girl. It is disrespectful to his partner, the girl and you guys in front of him.

I would have spoken to his partner directly and not speak to him about it (asking him to apologize) as he probably wouldnt understand what he has done wrong anyway.

That's called ''irrational flirting'' which has d tendency to bring abt distrust in any relatnship.

@MRS Eve
IMHO
- if she was with someone AND his wife/gf was around then its WRONG.
- if she was single/alone, dress to impress and the guy's wifey was away "getting drinks" then i would view it as simple innocent flirting from a guy who doesnt respect his wife.
- if he said it right in front of his wife/partner (and she didnt say shiit) then their is trouble in their union bigger than this remark.

the fact that SHE(the sexy gal) didnt say anything after the remark would make US understand that she didnt see anything wrong with what he said (or didnt have the guts to say something about it) therefore why would you now want this man to apologize?!
this man has no respect for his wifey/partner but its for THEM to work on their union, who are YOU/WE to decide what he can jeopardize his relationship on or not?! if he decided that this gal was good enough to jeopardize his relationship for then there is absolutely NOTHING we can do.
like Bankole_0 said, his partner knows what kind of man she has. if she didnt do anything about it, why should we?!

He was wrong and irresponsible

MRbrownJAY:

@MRS Eve
IMHO
- if she was with someone AND his wife/gf was around then its WRONG.
- if she was single/alone, dress to impress and the guy's wifey was away "getting drinks" then i would view it as simple innocent flirting from a guy who doesnt respect his wife.
- if he said it right in front of his wife/partner (and she didnt say shiit) then their is trouble in their union bigger than this remark.

the fact that SHE(the sexy gal) didnt say anything after the remark would make US understand that she didnt see anything wrong with what he said (or didnt have the guts to say something about it)

therefore why would you now want this man to apologize?!
this man has no respect for his wifey/partner but its for THEM to work on their union, who are YOU/WE to decide what he can jeopardize his relationship on or not?! if he decided that this gal was good enough to jeopardize his relationship for then there is absolutely NOTHING we can do.
like Bankole_0 said, his partner knows what kind of man she has. if she didnt do anything about it, why should we?!

That is sad. Just because the little girl didn't shout out profanities and obscenities does not mean the guy have every right to do what he did. He need to apologize for being disrespectful and children were present. This was not a club scene. The children weren't babies, but nevertheless they were children. He didn't have to speak publicly about what he wanted to do with the girl. I am not saying he shouldn't have feelings or whatever, but a little tactfulness go a long way.

I did not need to hear him talking about fucking somebody either.

Mr brownjay,

Would you do that to your girl?

Mrs, Eve:

That is sad.  Just because the little girl didn't shout out profanities and obscenities does not mean the guy have every right to do what he did. 

why should the gal abuse this guy?! she has all the right to not understand why he did it but abusing him would simply make her act lower than him.
what did the guy do, that was SO bad to begin with?! did he touch her, abuse her, disrespect her?! what was it exactly that he did that is different than what men do with her every single day?
just because he is older means absolutely nothing and it isnt written on everybody forehead if they have a partner or not.

He need to apologize for being disrespectful and children were present.This was not a club scene.  The children weren't babies, but nevertheless they were children.

disrespectful to whom?! and so what if children heard it. they shouldnt listen to grown folks conversation to begin with.

He didn't have to speak publicly about what he wanted to do with the girl.  I am not saying he shouldn't have feelings or whatever, but a little tactfulness go a long way.

i am safe to say that if this married man said it loud and clear so that everyone in the room could hear it then you are definitely focussing on the wrong problem.

I did not need to hear him talking about bleeping somebody either.

if what he did is so wrong to you, i suggest you do not invite him in the future.

Would you do that to your girl?

i wouldnt but i would understand why someone who has absolutely no respect for his girl would do it.
i would also understand how a rich guy would say that in 9ja, the gal's reaction would determine if she become his new sugar baby or not! who are we kidding here?!

Mr brown  does that often

OP
What i think bout this is that . . .The guy has done nothing wrong in my hmble view,Seeing what you like and compliment it publicly is preferrable than secretly even whe your girlfriend or wifey is around  or present. .  . . . It's nothing than a way of being free.
And when this happens the girlfriend might pick up one or two points out of it . .  may be her way of dressing wasn't okay enough then she needs to change it,Or her way of talking recklessly in the public ''Not being classic'' then she needs to adjust . .  . .So things like this are not a big deal,But what happens after the compliment is another film.
Though some guys would compliment a lady publicly just for the aim of getting  her ''Like i did yesterday'' .Eevn whe his gilrlfriend is just around. . . .  .This is bad.
But a normal compliment sexually or not . .  .It's very normal to me . . . . Sometimes i do that just to spice up the ambience . . .Like when i notice pple are getting bored so i single the cutest or the fugly girl out . . .And we start getting the meeting vibrant!!!

Sighs.

There is a big difference between giving someone a compliment and parading sexual remarks while in relationship.

Yall know damn well if your woman was to say oooooh that a big dick print and I would like to suck that. You wouldn't be so understanding. Real talk.

If your woman was to say oh he cute and kept it moving. You wouldn't be too discombobulated and gotten over it.

Ok ma . . . . . 
Parading sexual remarks while in a relationship is very wrong . . . . . . . While normal compliment is welcomed!!!
Are you satisfied

Yes suga.

I taught you very well.

^^Yep of course you did and still do

@Mrs Eve
the problem with this guy is NOT what he said to the girl but the fact that he has no respect for his wife/partner is.
he could have said it quietly or when they were just the two of them and it would have been equally wrong.

Have you guys considered that he might actually be letting the babe know that she was inappropriately dressed in such a manner that all guys would think about her is just sex?
Have you?

Mrs, Eve:

I have a serious question for you men/boys. I am asking you out of sincerely because I want to understand this dilemma. I may be tripping and making a big deal out of nothing. But work with me on this one.

Family and friends got together yesterday and we are enjoying ourselves. Most of the people that were gathered were married or engaged. Now my friend's boyfriend made a coy remark to a woman about how she is revealing and if he wasn't with a woman. He would definitely take her. Now here the question, this guy is in a serious relationship with my friend and made a comment to another woman sexually o inappropriately.

Do you men/boys think He was wrong or he was just being a "man"? I told him that he was wrong and should apologize to the girl and his girlfriend. He said he did nothing wrong.

Ladies, what do you think about this?

They dont have a clue. None of them cant (or should I say wont?) answer. They are just dogs, simple.

^^^Psychopath