Fiction or not this is funny

ODB2:
Good day all,

I have this serious problem and I need your advice.

I would have gone to Family Section but for some reason I have been banned till 2176 AD.

So maybe your Romance dudes can help me.

So here it goes....

I have been married to my wife for 3 years now although have been dating her since she was 16. I am 39 by the way.

Everything was ok until we got married and she started misbehaving.

Like one time I came home and she did not serve me my food because she was deeply engrossed in watching a zee world series. I then told her to get my food ready woman and she then went to the kitchen and put it on fire saying she is warming it. I then went to the room to take a shower and then checked on our kids and when I returned to the living room everywhere was smelling burnt food. She didn't even know that the whole house was filled with smoke because she was just watching her silly Indian series.

I then knew at that moment I had to act and so I slapped her across her face.

The slap was so heavy that she could not even whimper for about 10 seconds and had this shock across her face. I thought this will straighten her up for good but to my surprise she slapped me back- twice!

I was about to go full WWE and World Star mode on her but decided against it as she may get badly injured so I just walked out of the house to cool off.

Now, since slapping will not reset her as directed in the General Woman's Operational manual and since I don't want to go the full overhaul and start beating her, I was considering using either my belt or a cane but I am seriously aversed to this as most women have a BDSM side to them and this may turn to some kinky sh!t and from there my woman will be deliberately pissing me off so that I can use the cane or belt on her towards some sick perversion.

So since, my slap isn't working as she slaps me back - double sef and I don't want to hurt her by punching and body slamming her and also that as a newly converted Deeper Life member I am totally against any other sex position other than the missionary style and so will not want to use a belt or cane to turn my wife to a BDSM wh0re, I want to know if there is any other safe and reasonable way to instill my will and discipline on my wife.

I really do love her and will appreciate any suggestions from you guys on how to go about my current predicament.

Thanks and P.S. only men should comment.

Laugh wan kill me at the bolded
Only few will understand the joke there

So it's only missionary style deeper lifers indulge in? Booooorriinnggggg if true o.


I can't even imagine.

ODB2:


I bought her a knitting kit and also a complete Deeper Life year long Bible crossword puzzle book.

What more do you want me to do

Add some new no-stick frying pans and a cooker with oven and timer so she can cook better. Also, cut off your dstv subscription for 3 months or password all the drama stations as a warning (in fact why haven't you done that already?).
Come back and thank me later.

At 39, still thinking like this. You are indeed a WONDER. Have you ever heard of EMOTIONAL TORTURE, far more effective than FLEXING YOUR MUSCLES ON HER.

Before you beat her next time make sure you tie her hands and leg to a chair or anything to make her still.

Now after doing this get a good cane or belt. To make the beating more painful you can pour water on her with this the beating would be going straight in to her body and probably reset her brain cos she would be begging you and at the same time thinking to change.


But make sure you don't beat her to death cos you won't be able to enjoy such again.

After doing this I have more for you.


Wonder shall never end