Yea, I just stumbled on my former thread and I laughed.
https://www.nairaland.com/5170161/he-said-he-doesnt-feel#78119827

Thank you all for the advise.... I am really grateful. Over the time, I got closure and realized that he never loved me, asked for a comeback because he loved the attention he was getting from me. The whole "there is no connection thing" was just a hoax. He never cared about me but claimed to. He treated me so bad during the time of our relationship (this I never mentioned).

But it opened my eyes to reality and today, I am engaged to an amazing man. A man who truly loves and cares about me. Everyday, I count myself as been lucky.

My advise to all those passing through emotional heartbreaks and emotional torture. Just let go, allow time heal you. Stay positive and don't get desperate, with time you'd meet the real love of your life. Someone you dont have to beg for their attention, someone who dont talk down on you or abuse you, someone who really wants you both to work. That person is out there. Stay positive and hopeful.

A big lesson it is.
I'm grateful I have one principle in life about relationships that I've kept all my life.....
*Never go back to the bridge you've passed through.....he might treat you bad, bring words to blame the relationship not working on you or blame himself, but in the end, LOVE doesn't need words to grow, where there's love less words are spoken and things just progress easily.
Happy for you girl, enjoy your new found relationship, everyone deserves happiness.

OK

Go and sin no more

In your case go and fall in love no more

Ok

The same person you're castigating here is the same one you were so full of praises for in your last thread, the same person who never pressured you into sex like other guys and you loved him for it, the same person who respected and adored you, the same person who had only good things to say about you but was honest enough to let you know that he didn't feel a connection with you...

Now all of a sudden, that same guy is the one that was torturing you emotionally, abusing you and talking down on you.
How come the change of perspective? Is it because you're engaged to another man?

You're just a naive girl who never had enough self-esteem to know when to let go, a heartbroken girl who's still hurt and has refused to move on.
You haven't even given yourself enough time before diving into this next relationship - I sense rebound here.

You can wait for those who will come to clap for you telling you what a strong woman you are.
Me I will tell you the truth because I can see through this your faux expression of happiness - it's so classic.
You meet a new man and the old one becomes a devil, what's new... Lol

I wish you goodluck anyway, and hope for your sake that this one ends in marriage...otherwise, you will just morph into one of those internet feminists with boy issues if this one still no gree connect with you.

Adaego5:

Yea, I just stumbled on my former thread and I laughed.
https://www.nairaland.com/5170161/he-said-he-doesnt-feel#78119827

Thank you all for the advise.... I am really grateful. Over the time, I got closure and realized that he never loved me, asked for a comeback because he loved the attention he was getting from me. The whole "there is no connection thing" was just a hoax. He never cared about me but claimed to. He treated me so bad during the time of our relationship (this I never mentioned).

But it opened my eyes to reality and today, I am engaged to an amazing man. A man who truly loves and cares about me. Everyday, I count myself as been lucky.

My advise to all those passing through emotional heartbreaks and emotional torture. Just let go, allow time heal you. Stay positive and don't get desperate, with time you'd meet the real love of your life. Someone you dont have to beg for their attention, someone who dont talk down on you or abuse you, someone who really wants you both to work. That person is out there. Stay positive and hopeful.

I am really happy for you.

crackland:
The same person you're castigating here is the same one you were so full of praises for in your last thread, the same person who never pressured you into sex like other guys and you loved him for it, the same person who respected and adored you, the same person who had only good things to say about you but was honest enough to let you know that he didn't feel a connection with you...

Now all of a sudden, that same guy is the one that was torturing you emotionally, abusing you and talking down on you.
How come the change of perspective? Is it because you're engaged to another man?

You're just a naive girl who never had enough self-esteem to know when to let go, a heartbroken girl who's still hurt and has refused to move on.
You haven't even given yourself enough time before diving into this next relationship - I sense rebound here.

You can wait for those that will come to clap for you telling you what a strong woman you are.
Me I will tell you the truth because I can see through this your faux expression of happiness - it's so classic.
You meet a new man and the old one becomes a devil, what's new... Lol

I wish you goodluck anyway, and hope for your sake that this one ends in marriage...otherwise, you will just morph into one of those internet feminists with boy issues if this one still no gree connect with you.

Na wa o. Do you expect her not to move on after the man she loved said he isn't connected to her? She is lucky to have found someone so soon, someone I want to believe is treating her right. So just wish her well and move on

rockstarB:

Na wa o. Do you expect her not to move on after the man she loved said he isn't connected to her? She is lucky to have found someone so soon, someone I want to believe is treating her right. So just wish her well and move on

Can you read at all?

crackland:

Can you read at all?

Probably not

rockstarB:

Na wa o. Do you expect her not to move on after the man she loved said he isn't connected to her? She is lucky to have found someone so soon, someone I want to believe is treating her right. So just wish her well and move on

thanks

rockstarB:

Probably not

Good.

Go back, read slowly.
There's nothing in there that insinuates she should not move on.

The guy who had so many good qualities has become the worst in less than a year. What do you think changed?

Thank goodness you moved pass him...good luck with this new guy. Remember to measure yours and his feelings with open mind. Cheers maami.

crackland:

Good.

Go back, read slowly.
There's nothing in there that insinuates she should not move on.

The guy who had so many good qualities has become the worst in less than a year. What do you think changed?

Love covers all. She was in love so the qualities you tagged "worst" might not mean a thing to her then. People have good qualities as much as bad ones. It's really nice she has moved on

crackland:
The same person you're castigating here is the same one you were so full of praises for in your last thread, the same person who never pressured you into sex like other guys and you loved him for it, the same person who respected and adored you, the same person who had only good things to say about you but was honest enough to let you know that he didn't feel a connection with you...

Now all of a sudden, that same guy is the one that was torturing you emotionally, abusing you and talking down on you.
How come the change of perspective? Is it because you're engaged to another man?

You're just a naive girl who never had enough self-esteem to know when to let go, a heartbroken girl who's still hurt and has refused to move on.
You haven't even given yourself enough time before diving into this next relationship - I sense rebound here.

You can wait for those who will come to clap for you telling you what a strong woman you are.
Me I will tell you the truth because I can see through this your faux expression of happiness - it's so classic.
You meet a new man and the old one becomes a devil, what's new... Lol

I wish you goodluck anyway, and hope for your sake that this one ends in marriage...otherwise, you will just morph into one of those internet feminists with boy issues if this one still no gree connect with you.

Chai! You just can't be happy for her without a but ba? She clearly stated that though the guy was a nice guy, he wasn't connected to her in her previous post. Infact, he broke up with her, sampled others, came back and thereafter announced not to be connected to her. Does that sound like a total great guy MO?

Yes, she didn't tell us his nasty side before as a normal human being who was still a bit enthralled by him. Now that the scales have fallen, she was able to see him for who he truly was as it is normal in all circumstances. We all tend to look back at our exes and wondered why we loved them so much when we've gotten to the point where we could analysis their good, bad and uglies with clear heads. He was a nice guy, but clearly not great.

rockstarB:

Love covers all. She was in love so the qualities you tagged "worst" might not mean a thing to her then. People have good qualities as much as bad ones. It's really nice she has moved on

Thanks baby...we will make excuses for our Fancies slights....until we get over them and able to clearly define who they are.

rockstarB:

Love covers all. She was in love so the qualities you tagged "worst" might not mean a thing to her then. People have good qualities as much as bad ones. It's really nice she has moved on

Exactly.
So it's very possible that the love she feels now is also covering the bad qualities of this present man.


Anyway let me break down my previous long post for you since most of you will just not get it. Different levels of mental stimulation and all, no pun intended:

She still has not discovered herself or found out what was wrong with her that such a perfect guy who refused to pressure her into sex (this is a very rare character in a man today) still couldn't connect with her enough to get married to her. It may be his own demons working but like you said, everyone has a bad quality..
Ask her to tell you what her own is - I bet she won't have anything to say.

You should be very cautious of people who refuse to acknowledge the part they had to play in a broken relationship.

crackland:

Exactly.
So it's very possible that the love she feels now is also covering the bad qualities of this present man.


Anyway let me break down my previous long post for you since most of you will just not get it. Different levels of mental stimulation and all, no pun intended:

She still has not discovered herself or found out what was wrong with her that such a perfect guy who refused to pressure her into sex (this is a very rare character in a man today) still couldn't connect with her enough to get married to her. It may be his own demons working but like you said, everyone has a bad quality..
Ask her to tell you what her own is - I bet she won't have anything to say.

You should be very cautious of people who refuse to acknowledge the part they had to play in a broken relationship.

She may have her part like you said. But it isn't her fault that the man she loved couldn't connect to her, it doesnt necessarily mean the guy is he bad guy, he is just being honest which is in fact a very good one. He could have married her out of pity and abuse her in the course of the marriage. She should applaud him for that.

sisisioge:

Chai! You just can't be happy for her without a but ba? She clearly stated that though the guy was a nice guy, he wasn't connected to her in her previous post. Infact, he broke up with her, sampled others, came back and thereafter announced not to be connected to her. Does that sound like a total great guy MO?

Yes, she didn't tell us his nasty side before as a normal human being who was still a bit enthralled by him. Now that the scales have fallen, she was able to see him for who he truly was as it is normal in all circumstances. We all tend to look back at our exes and wondered why we loved them so much when we've gotten to the point where we could analysis their good, bad and uglies with clear heads. He was a nice guy, but clearly not great.

Which one be happy for her again, you guys should not start abeg, lol.. do I know her personally for me to be happy, sad, angry, or sorrowful about her life?
Forget about the emotional undertones and let's chat.

Yes the guy was not a great guy, was she a great gal?

If she decide to go back to him after the first breakup, she's not innocent in what came next.

Now that she has moved on to the next guy, talking smack about the ex means one thing - unresolved feelings.

If you really cared about her, you would be telling her to take it gently with this present man and open her eyes wide enough to also detect his bad and ugly sides...everyone has one.

rockstarB:

She may have her part like you said. But it isn't her fault that the man she loved couldn't connect to her, it doesnt necessarily mean the guy is he bad guy, he is just being honest which is in fact a very good one. He could have married her out of pity and abuse her in the course of the marriage. She should applaud him for that.

Bro, I must celebrate you.
It always feels good to have conversations with people who move past sentiments to see clearly.

That stuff in bold is the focal point.

That guy is better than majority of men, and that alone makes him a very good person. I'm not implying she should have stayed with him though.

But the kind of honesty where you tell a girl you're not connecting with her even when she's opening up her soul and body to you, is something a lot of men don't posses...and if she had done any introspection, she would have understood this by now.

All I'm seeing here is someone who just wants to be given attention, care, love, and commitment...whether it's real or coming from a good place, she simply does not care - Naivety

crackland:

Which one be happy for her again, you guys should not start abeg, lol.. do I know her personally for me to be happy, sad, angry, or sorrowful about her life?
Forget about the emotional undertones and let's chat.

Yes the guy was not a great guy, was she a great gal?

If she decide to go back to him after the first breakup, she's not innocent in what came next.

Now that she has moved on to the next guy, talking smack about the ex means one thing - unresolved feelings.

If you really cared about her, you would be telling her to take it gently with this present man and open her eyes wide enough to also detect his bad and ugly sides...everyone has one.

I'm not trying to start anything fa.

True, we are all a mixture of good and bad...no one is exempted.

And yeah, she's been wished well and advised to be cautious with the new guy. After all, life is all about taking chances. But the purpose of today's thread is to celebrate her win...she dropped the bronze and won the gold. Until proven otherwise, today's win remain GOLD . So we wish her success biko.

crackland:

Good.

Go back, read slowly.
There's nothing in there that insinuates she should not move on.

The guy who had so many good qualities has become the worst in less than a year. What do you think changed?

Funny,
like so when I was hoping for us to work out well once again, you expect me to come out and talk about all his bad sides? Of course, I had to cover up for his faults because I was in love.
You are not me, neither do you know what I passed through with him. I am not one to come out and lie against someone.
The relationship was a terrible one yet I still wanted him,this is the real truth.

I finally moved on and realized my worth, so just be happy for me and stop whining.

sisisioge:




I'm not trying to start anything fa.

True, we are all a mixture of good and bad...no one is exempted.

And yeah, she's been wished well and advised to be cautious with the new guy. After all, life is all about taking chances. But the purpose of today's thread is to celebrate her win...she dropped the bronze and won the gold. Until proven otherwise, today's win remain GOLD . So we wish her success biko.

Lol @ GOLD

crackland:

Bro, I must celebrate you.
It always feels good to have conversations with people who move past sentiments to see clearly.

That stuff in bold is the focal point.

That guy is better than majority of men, and that alone makes him a very good person. I'm not implying she should have stayed with him though.

But the kind of honesty where you tell a girl you're not connecting with her even when she's opening up her soul and body to you, is something a lot of men don't posses...and if she had done any introspection, she would have understood this by now.

All I'm seeing here is someone who just wants to be given attention, care, love, and commitment...whether it's real or coming from a good place, she simply does not care - Naivety

Thanks
I'm a lady BTW

Adaego5:

Funny,
like so when I was hoping for us to work out well once again, you expect me to come out and talk about all his bad sides? Of course, I had to cover up for his faults because I was in love.
You are not me, neither do you know what I passed through with him. I am not one to come out and lie against someone.
The relationship was a terrible one yet I still wanted him,this is the real truth.

I finally moved on and realized my worth, so just be happy for me and stop whining.

Okay

What are the faults of your present fiancée?

rockstarB:

Thanks
I'm a lady BTW

Wow for real?
You haven't lashed out yet...

I'm impressed

crackland:

She still has not discovered herself or found out what was wrong with her that such a perfect guy who refused to pressure her into sex (this is a very rare character in a man today) still couldn't connect with her enough to get married to her.

You should be very cautious of people who refuse to acknowledge the part they had to play in a broken relationship.

Something that is not meant to be, is not meant to be that's the first thing you should know. And for the records, there was nothing wrong with me.
How else do you want to understand that the love from his side was never there or probably shortlived? When a man doesn't love a woman, don't you think he would keep making excuses for his actions?
See ehn, stop trying to open up old wound. I have moved on is that I have moved on.
I have passed my message to those currently passing through emotional abuse and heartbreak and that's my problem. So whatever you are trying to say right now doesn't concern me at all.

Adaego5:

Something that is not meant to be, is not meant to be that's the first thing you should know. And for the records, there was nothing wrong with me.
How else do you want to understand that the love from his side was never there or probably shortlived? When a man doesn't love a woman, don't you think he would keep making excuses for his actions?
See ehn, stop trying to open up old wound. I have moved on is that I have moved on.
I have passed my message to those currently passing through emotional abuse and heartbreak and that's my problem. So whatever you are trying to say right now doesn't concern me at all.

You're perfect, yes?

Adaego5:

Something that is not meant to be, is not meant to be that's the first thing you should know. And for the records, there was nothing wrong with me.
How else do you want to understand that the love from his side was never there or probably shortlived? When a man doesn't love a woman, don't you think he would keep making excuses for his actions?
See ehn, stop trying to open up old wound. I have moved on is that I have moved on.
I have passed my message to those currently passing through emotional abuse and heartbreak and that's my problem. So whatever you are trying to say right now doesn't concern me at all.

.

Please stop replying that fooool. Thanks. Before you know it he will pm and chat you up for a video sex and then upload it on nairaland.. Be very careful

Fountainofhate don come again

This angry heartbroken girl doesn't want to leave me alone.

I no want you, is it by force?

@Adaego5,

Don't fall for the baits..you don't have to prove yourself to anyone.Enjoy your new relationship.

@crackland, you are such a primadonna.

1st Corinthians 13:7 says,"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
She played her part, loved him beyond his wrongs which she didn't count.. did he do the same? He broke it off, didn't he?
Its just a relationship that didn't work out.. no need picking her apart.
Happy holidays..

sisisioge:


Chai! You just can't be happy for her without a but ba? She clearly stated that though the guy was a nice guy, he wasn't connected to her in her previous post. Infact, he broke up with her, sampled others, came back and thereafter announced not to be connected to her. Does that sound like a total great guy MO?

Yes, she didn't tell us his nasty side before as a normal human being who was still a bit enthralled by him. Now that the scales have fallen, she was able to see him for who he truly was as it is normal in all circumstances. We all tend to look back at our exes and wondered why we loved them so much when we've gotten to the point where we could analysis their good, bad and uglies with clear heads. He was a nice guy, but clearly not great.

Sister, people like you normally do not see things beyond sentiment. It is very bad, I am sorry for you. That guy you quoted is right.

tabithababy:
.

Please stop replying that fooool. Thanks. Before you know it he will pm and chat you up for a video sex and then upload it on nairaland.. Be very careful

lol, thanks
he is joblessly looking for who to exchange words with this morning, that's why he is just hanging around this thread like a vulture looking for whom to devour.
Unfortunately, he doesn't realise yet that I am the wrongest person.
I have said all I have to say..... I am happy with my self right now, I want others to be happy too, hence the advice.