Hello everyone, I have been here for quite sometimes now but I hardly post here because I dont feel the need to do so, I'm a young guy approaching 30 in my late 20's married and expecting a child soon, the problem now is I'm the only child of my mom, and the first son of my dad out of two sons, when my dad was of my age he was really well to do, but he wasted a lot of money on party and enjoyment, I'm not blaming him, as at then he wasn't even in Nigeria, but to cut the story short life happens and he found himself in square one, when he was well to do he never wanted to claim me as his own but married my younger bro mom, as in introduction but no formal wedding, but when he came back the woman cant wait for that long because he took so long to be back, I met him when I was almost 13 years old, he has been active in my life since then and he settled with my mom because step mom ,his choice woman moved on after waiting for so long but my mom waited, he really messed up my childhood ever since I met him, he beats me almost everyday and I'm not the worst child in the neighborhood, I believe it to be training, from SS2 he asked my mom to stop giving me money to school, I only eat breakfast and dinner I believe that's what they could offer, that same year he bought a landed property in ogun state and he just did little thing on it after much persuasion from friends and family that he took there to buy land, in 2014 he sold his bus so I could go to school, he is into bus selling business at Berger apapa, later in school I mingle with those that know whatup, I was working as a computer engineer while school, fixing computers and all that, in school it wasn't rosy, school was hell for me, but I survived, in 2017 when I was in 300 level i started making serious money and i made about 700k, being very close to them I told them I had 300k, but I already invested 100k in treasury bills, so my parents said I should give them the 300k so my dad could start his business back, I said I'll think about it and I said later I'll buy a land with my money, they took me to the part of ogun state and they bought the land for me for 250k but I later got to find out that the land is actually 100k here is how I got to know , in 2018 we start having problems in the house we rented, believe to be spiritual so we moved to where we have properties based on agreement that we will jointly try to complete the project of my dad house with our collective resources, so my parents were squatting with a family friend that we have come a long way with, and I'm staying in my uncle house in the same street, my land is opposite my dad land, I really tried my best to make them move in that house by 2019 but we didn't make it, the project where it got to I did most of it with my uncle but my dad usually needs persuasion to do anything there, now I have a wife, we are managing and my dad feel I'm being cruel and I'm self centered, he always make reference to when he said I should use my money to start a business for him and I refused, he feels entitled to my money, I'm not even rich, I'm staying in my uncle house with my wife when she got pregnant, so I'm still there now, I dont want to rent a house when they are yet to move into their house, you may bash me, you may advice me, but I need to clear my head because I'm not thinking right, I'm sad right now, they think I'm wicked my uncle said I'm a good child that the problem is because they are expecting me to do what 3 children to do for them once, I'm not enjoying my life like I should, but still I still get tagged heartless, after my wife puts to bed I'm moving out for good, and they should be in their own place, I dont know what to do, those who are experienced in this should advice me, i know they are my parents and I love them, one of my dad excesses he said I should walk to a very far distance to withdraw money for him without giving me bike money when its really sunny, I said I'll go in the evening and I did, he said I'm being disrespectful to him by saying that mind you I'm almost 27, please I am sorry for writing too long story, how do you think I best tackle this without offending God in case of future occurence, I hate to say this but if it goes on like this I might commit suicide because they thing I'm not being useful to them like I should so I bet they'll know the difference when I'm gone. Sorry for the grammatical errors and for it being too lengthy. Thanks in anticipation for your replies

What a useless piece...And you sef Na graduate? You can't summarise a good text. Who get time read all this jargon....going back and forth.

You are 27, have a pregnant wife, and you are waiting for us to tell you to be a man and move out to start a family of your own?

If you like, Siddon put for there, make pant dey wear you, ode

Wow! I actually read that. It seems you are resentful cause your dad contributed little towards your upbringing and yet now wants to reap where he did not sow? My advice to you is to draw up a budget for them i.e the allowance (can be like 25% or more of total income) you want to be giving to them monthly and stick to it. Dont be scared of saying NO and there is no point lying to them about your finances. If any1 asks, quickly put them in their place - its none of their business or are they your account manager? Lastly, any1 that wants to talk should talk, its part of their constitutional right. Just pay less attention to them. Peace.

I just don’t no why you can’t summarise is too long

Oblongata:
You are 27, have a pregnant wife, and you are waiting for us to tell you to be a man and move out to start a family of your own?

If you like, Siddon put for there, make pant dey wear you, ode

Someone is drowning and all you do is to mock and spit on him. Do this reveal the type of soul you are? Please observe it carefully

Your family is built on faulty foundation. Too sandy to hold the structure you are trying to build yourself, which your careless dad failed woefully to do so. Hence the consistent negative energies milky your inner peace, breakthrough, and progress.


Solution: pause any personal budget attaching him, stay far away from him, quickly secure a court/legal marriage with your wife, build a new and standard foundation with your new birth family, replan your vision and budget, set other streams of income in order like shares, etc, focus and achieve your personal project, secure your documented properties in your name and wifey (she might be threatened in near future), plan a future savings for your kid. When done, come back with the light of your positivity to dismantle his dark negatives. HELP YOURSELF FIRST, YOU CAN'T ALLOW HIS FAILURE TO DRAW YOU BACKWARD. Run now first!! But remember to send your parents monthly stipends from afar for upkeep and sake of God's peace. I say FROM AFAR!!

Wolgrace:




Someone is drowning and all you do is to mock and spit on him. Do this reveal the type of soul you are? Please observe it carefully

By calling him ‘ode’ is not a mockery or’spit on’, it is rather aimed at making him know he has been a fool and needs to wake up. It is an attempt to jolt him back to reality. Thank you

HarunaWest:
What a useless piece...And you sef Na graduate? You can't summarise a good text. Who get time read all this jargon....going back and forth.

thanks

Wolgrace:
Your family is built on faulty foundation. Too sandy to hold the structure you are trying to build yourself, which your careless dad failed woefully to do so. Hence the consistent negative energies milky your inner peace, breakthrough, and progress.


Solution: pause any personal budget attaching him, stay far away from him, quickly secure a court/legal marriage with your wife, build a new and standard foundation with your new birth family, replan your vision and budget, set other streams of income in order like shares, etc, focus and achieve your personal project, secure your documented properties in your name and wifey (she might be threatened in near future), plan a future savings for your kid. When done, come back with the light of your positivity to dismantle his dark negatives. HELP YOURSELF FIRST, YOU CAN'T ALLOW HIS FAILURE TO DRAW YOU BACKWARD. Run now first!! But remember to send your parents monthly stipends from afar for upkeep and sake of God's peace. I say FROM AFAR!!

thanks a lot , I'll strongly consider your advice, I still need more to comment

Reevaluate your life, move far away from your parents with your wife and start life afresh.

That's the best you can do for now.

Sorry brother. I am trying to put myself into ur position and I can picture it he way u re feeling.

I think the problem here is u re putting ur parents first before urself and ur own personal family wch if I were to be in ur position, I won't ve done.
What I ve seen is no matter what u do, u would neva do enof and I'm sorry to say ur father is a selfish person who feels he's entitled to what eva u make rather than him seeing it as a support from u.

You need to give urself a break and I hope ur mum understands ur effort and even if she doesn't, give urself a break replan ur life.
Try to place ur parents on a regular and affordable monthly contribution and let them know they shldn't expect more from u and adhere to that except when there is an exigency.

Live a good life broda cos u deserve that and please erase the thought of committing suicide.
Don't let anyone put u under unnecessary pressure

You are too emotional.Be tough a little but be respectful.

Baller45653:
thanks a lot , I'll strongly consider your advice, I still need more to comment

Don't repeat the same mistake as ur dad, if you didn't put ur house in order now, the same thing might play out U. U dad may be resentful for not utilising his opportunity during his good days.
Just do ur best and never allow them drag U into their messed, U have ur life to live.

I would have loved to read what you have written but I'm sorry I might develop unnecessary headache.

Is there a possibility that u can make some paragraph for those of us who can't stand words falling everywhere like hailstorm..

Baller45653:
thanks a lot , I'll strongly consider your advice, I still need more to comment

Peace out!

Oblongata:
By calling him ‘ode’ is not a mockery or’spit on’, it is rather aimed at making him know he has been a fool and needs to wake up. It is an attempt to jolt him back to reality. Thank you

He knew that already, no need reminding him. Reason he admitted it in his thread. Just serve him an advice he needs to wake up.

how come u Neva even thought of taking care of ur mom who raised u for 13good years b4 u met ur dad

cunny88:
how come u Neva even thought of taking care of ur mom who raised u for 13good years b4 u met ur dad

my mom and dad stay together that's why I'm more worried I believe this year they will move into their own house before the end of fasting so I'm doing it together and I dont want to offend God through my parents, but from the advices I have received here it's best I move far from them.

Among everything u stated up there,its that suicide part that got me annoyed. You think u punishing them by committing it? U only gonna suffer ur wife nd unborn kid. Suicide is never an option, lots of people are going through worse inclusive of me. So man up!!!