Wumnaf:

@fabulous you made me smile in spanish . i am far from cheating but i want my freedom and peace of mind. only if you know

Go get your freedom Mrs. go get it. The man is at fault. Let his just get several cucumbines. No need of disturbing a woman who does not want to be married. You too can get several boyfriends, let's see who regrets last. Nonsense.

Corporate2020:


Go get your freedom Mrs. go get it. The man is at fault. Let his just get several cucumbines. No need of disturbing a woman who does not want to be married. You too can get several boyfriends, let's see who regrets last. Nonsense.

hmmm interesting

Wumnaf:


hmmm interesting

Yes, it's going to be very interesting when we see you on dating sites looking for husband after a reasonable well brought up woman must have taken your husband from you.

Ignore the threats of a side chick. Submissive housewives are also cheated on constantly. Some men have babies, side pieces etc on ‘good’ wives too. Some couples have also been able to work out a healthy long distance marriage without cheating. If your husband is going to cheat, he’s doing so because he’s a cheater, period.

Don’t be freaked into making a decision that would put you in a worse situation than you were before.

Why do you want to stay close to your family? Do they help with child care? You have a very valid reason to worry about the financial implication of your move to Lagos, before you move, secure a job in Lagos.

I understand your fears of moving to Lagos for the first time (I myself want to run away from it) and possibly loosing your source of income.
My good friend had left Lagos for ibadan as a newly wed and resigned her employment here; it has not been a particularly rewarding move to be dependent on her husband and I would advise against it to another friend.

He must be a muslim who considers non-islamic banking haram; he might oppose to
your continued working in that system once you are here.

Think it through and consider if the sacrifice is worth it . Many families stay apart with occasional visits and heaven did not fall. If it compromises your job security I would advise you to not make a rushed move.

Wumnaf:


that lagos life is tiring as i hve never been in lagos in my entire life.
besides i dont want be far from my family

Which is more important between your family and your marriage? You need to reach a compromise and make up your mind about your home. Lagos is very interesting,you will adjust with time.

anibi9674:
Why then did you marry, if you will not stay with your husband in your matrimonial home as his wife.

Because a lot of us prefer wedding to marriage.

OP all you need is in this post.

Unless you’re looking for people to tell you to go ahead and do whatever you like regarding the move.

you have to be willing to listen if you actually came here for solution and not validation

ibkayee:
You've been working at the bank for 9 years, when did it suddenly become an 'ethical' issue for him?

Are you saying he moved to Lagos for his job within 2 years of your marriage? I'm seeing that you were redeployed to your present location recently? Where exactly were you both in the beginning? Please clarify all of this to paint a clearer picture. If you were both in the same location initially, I don't think the current issue at hand is necessarily because you did not plan your living situation before marriage, circumstances just change sometimes.

Like many have advised, can you relocate with a transfer? If it's possible it sounds like the best option

I don't think it should be a question of whether the 'man or woman' relocates...but what the most practical option is as far as an individual's income, stability etc.

If transferring is not an option, have you both at least discussed plans for getting a new job?

[quote author=Wumnaf post=8

chiddyok:

Because a lot of us prefer wedding to marriage.

Or maybe to escape societal pressure. More like just get married so 'they' can leave you the heck alone but then live your life as if you were single.

OP, on a normal day I would advice you relocate and live with your husband cos I think that's the ideal thing to do but on a second thought... I read some deeper meanings to your post. e. g I want to stay close to my family, He is a religious bigot, He can't take care of me etc. These are pointers that all may not be well and because I don't know the whole story, I would say, think it through and do what you consider the best for you, your child and your young family.