The Presidents speech was like,
to me, was like ….… ok ok ok,
Sebi you people are tired of keeping safe at home,
Alright alright.

I release you all to go and die if you wish to die.
By 4th of May your desire to die is granted to you.
Just give me one more week to make you stay alive.
By 4th of May you are free to go out and die,
your dying can be possible between 8am to 6pm.
If you escape death within those hours then you can still enjoy my arms of love, to keep you safe between hours 8pm to 6am.

But I remain steadfast in keeping your children alive.
So schools remain shut down.

I will also be blameless before God and man,
so all churches mosques night clubs weddings birthday parties etc, remain shut down till further notice.

No beer joints or amala or isi-ewu or Barbecue or Suya spots or joints shall entertain sitting, buy ur food as take away and waka, if you like sit down and drink,
virus lives on surfaces of tables at least between 2 and 4 days,
so you can sit and eat and drink on table surfaces at joints or restaurant.

Sebi you have superpowers…Tooooorrhhhh.
I will still be merciful unto you,
So not all businesses will open.

I had thought Kano will learn from Lagos, Abuja and Ogun lockdown,
I never knew they were so dumb,
Henceforth let me save their lives they are thereby shut down for 2 weeks, they have died stupidly enough,
washing infected hands and drinking the water,
such foolery in quantum measure!

So your staying locked down is now your personal choice.
I have tried my best.
You have all the rights to continue to work from home stock your home with food drinks and toiletries and remain locked down personally.
I have removed my hands from saving you.

If you wish you can lock down your family and only you will go out and get them daily bread and know that it’s only you out there while your wife and children are safe and locked down.
It is your choice.

If you like dont take absolute care when out there.
If you like bring the virus home to your family.
It is your choice.
The people I sent to give you money food and palliative, they swallowed some of it.
I can't come and kill my self.
I have tried, a father has many children, amongst them you have the Esaus and the Jacob’s,
You have the Judas and the Peters.

It also comes to a time in the life of a father,
he tells all his children both good and bad, that this is how much I can be of help.
I have tried ,
you are of age to know what to do.

If you like choose death and go out any how,
If you like choose life and continue to stay home Dont think I am happy releasing you by May 4th.
You all have tied my hands ….plus those who ate and swallowed your palliative and those who have been cursing me that i locked you up because I hate you…Toooorhh you are now free to go out If you like,
Don’t wear mask always,
Don’t wash your hands every 20 minutes.
Continue to shake hands and hug people you have missed during the lockdown.
Continue to receive yeye visitors in your home especially those of you with underlined health conditions and aged parents Don’t take sanitizers with you when going out Don’t use bleach to clean surfaces.
Don’t do social distancing.
Sebi virus is virus.
During HIV and AIDS we still have many of you who damn consequences and do have sex without condoms.
So who am I to force you to use face mask?
If you choose to die by May 4th.
I release you to go and do whatever you want to yourself, But as for me, my house hold and for all sane Nigerians, we shall choose to live.

Wow!
Best satire we have read in decades.
This is so apt.
You are so in the President's mind on so many points apart from few,
But the only thing is that our darling Daddy is a nice fella.
This is actually what the children of hate, perdition and frustration deserve and every other enemies of the state and themselves.
BUT, Our darling Daddy will never want his citizens dead.
In Summary : Daddy is a little too gentle.
That is one of the things we both disagree about at home.
And one thing we kinda missed OBJ for,
Baba Farmer will damn anybody and LOCKDOWN for 3 months without blinking an eye!
Someone that sent soldiers to go burn down and kill a whole village and spare only the children and women?
That act is terribly wrong, we still shudder at the fact.

Yes, we love this satire above.
You guys should just becareful out there.
Your lives matter to us.
At this point : All man for himself.
God bless Nigeria.
We Rise!

[s]

post=89027810:
Wow!
Best satire we have read in decades.
This is so apt.
You are so in the President's mind on so many points apart from few,
But the only thing is that our darling Daddy is a nice fella.
This is actually what the children of hate, perdition and frustration deserve and every other enemies of the state and themselves.
BUT, Our darling Daddy will never want his citizens dead.
In Summary : Daddy is a little too gentle.
That is one of the things we both disagree about at home.
And one thing we kinda missed OBJ for,
Baba Farmer will damn anybody and LOCKDOWN for 3 months without blinking an eye!
Someone that sent soldiers to go burn down and kill a whole village and spare only the children and women?
That act is terribly wrong, we still shudder at the fact.

Yes, we love this satire above.
You guys should just becareful out there.
Your lives matter to us.
At this point : All man for himself.
God bless Nigeria.
We Rise!

[/s]