Trying to control everything never works out well. You need to learn how to stop being possessive in a relationship and let go.

If you find yourself wondering how to stop being possessive in a relationship, it is likely brought on by trust or control issues. Both are poison to any relationship. They cause distrust, dysfunction, and a lot of manipulation.

I understand the desire to hold onto someone in your life. You want to make sure they don’t cheat or leave. You want to know what they’re doing just in case.

The thing is, it is a method for disaster. Lacking that trust in your partner and their choices will not only ignite jealousy, suspicion, and resentment but will lead to a fiery end for your relationship.

Why are you possessive in a relationship?

Now, understanding the cause for your possessiveness can require years of therapy. It can also take a lot of introspection and self-realization.

Look back to your past. Maybe your family or a prior relationship. What happened that made you feel like you had no control? That pain or loss is what pushed you into a zone of possessiveness. Once you get hurt, you consciously and subconsciously go into protection mode and take control of your life.

Some people may do that by not opening up to anyone. Others desire that companionship but cannot handle the parts that are out of their control, like their partners.

If you’re reading this, you are probably one of these people. And I get it. You may not have gotten to this point purposely. And you’re probably reading this because you want to treat your partner with the respect and trust they deserve.

That is a good sign. You are on the right track. Letting go of what brought this behavior on is what can help you move forward without such a strong need for control.

Repeat to yourself that every relationship is different. What happened in the past is not what’s happening now. And even if something repeats itself, it isn’t because it was out of your control but because it was meant to.

And I’m not just saying this. After being cheated on repeatedly, I had a lot of trust issues. They led me to a lot of self-sabotage and eventually to stop dating altogether for years.

Letting go of that desire for control and knowing what will happen is what brought me to the happy relationship I’m in today.

What is possessiveness in a relationship doing for you?

If I haven’t already convinced you that being possessive in a relationship won’t get you anything but unhappiness, let’s analyze how it is working out for you.

Desiring control over your relationship and your partner might seem like a good way to protect yourself from being hurt. In reality, it causes a lot more harm than good.
How has your partner reacted to you being possessive? Are they tired of telling you where they are and who they’re with 24/7? Do they have to check in with you? Are they afraid to tell you tiny things because you might react badly?

If you are possessive of your partner, you are not letting them be free. Healthy relationships require two individuals, not one individual and someone owned by the other. If you don’t trust your partner, how do you expect them to trust you?

Does controlling your relationship make you feel better? Do you actually feel like you have control over your partner? Does that make you feel secure or more suspicious and anxious?

Usually, maintaining control over another person is not just exhausting but impossible. So, even trying will make you feel even more on edge. You are expecting the worst. There is a reason you came looking for this article. I’m guessing it isn’t because you being possessive in a relationship is working out well.

Read More: https://examprestige.com/being-possessive-in-a-relationship