Instead of falling in love, walk in love

When a person's tries moving forward with closed eyes they fall and that's what happens when the world sells to us that "love is blind", we tend to "fall" in love but to walk and walk uprightly without staggering or falling one's eyes must be open.
You see the love the world sells is built on lies and fantasy, based on appearance and how we can sell ourselves as "perfect" while we seek those who present themselves as such. When a relationship starts with deception it is bound to fail at some point.

Having open eyes first means, seeing ourselves for who we are, but when we hide ourselves so many times and fail to be honest about who we are or accept it ( *who we are* - based on what God says and not what our heart says, for the heart can be deceptive), we tend to lose ourselves and forget who we are.
The disadvantage of this is that you could be a 2012 Volvo try to operate as a 2002 toyota or a 2014 bmw SUV, what these cars need for maintenance and their usage will be different.

Secondly, having open eyes means seeing your partner for who they are and not who you desire them to be nor see them as who they try pretending to be.

The key here is, if you can see yourself you can see others as well but if you live in delusion you will be deceived as well. We should note that without the first step and receiving the Holy Spirit, our eyes will be closed by the deceptions in this world.

We can't walk in love until we get rid of desires that blind us. In fact, walking in love means that we love others in exactly the same way that Christ loved us - who knew us for who we are and knew what we needed.

Walking in love is about sacrificial commitment, it is giving the other person what he or she needs the most when it is least deserved, because that's exactly how God has treated you. That's what genuine love is. Love is giving the other person in the relationship what he or she needs the most, not necessarily what he or she wants the most.

So you won't be going into any relationship without first seeing what you can provide and what the person truly needs, and not just what you want and what can they can provide for you. Yes knowing what you need is important so as to recognize a partner God has sent to you, so you know what to accept and what to reject and also not to make unreasonable demands.

Walking in love is not a selfish feeling. God's way is very hard on the feelings, but it's very healthy for the soul.

Genuine love is a deliberate, intentional, honest, and even painful giving up of self preservation for another person's good (when you know they need to hear the truth that could hurt them but free them, even at the risk of losing them, instead of taking the easy way of lying to them you tell them the truth in love).
Walking in genuine love says, "I'm going to give you what you need," and then follows through. No manipulation, no games, and no power play. And, interestingly enough, it's when we love in this way that we actually fan the flames of romance and those good feelings we all long to enjoy.

When we walk in love we think, we pray, we open our eyes to what we can do for the other.

https://www.nairaland.com/5844838/gods-way-lasting-relationship

Instead of fixing your hopes and dreams on another person, fix your hope on God and seek to please him through this relationship

As children of God, who knows the end from the beginning, when entering a relationship - the end should be in sight, meaning you enter with clear indication that this person is possibly your life partner. With you both acknowledging God before you begin, know that along the way there will be clearer recognitions and confirmations. This way your relationship will be fixed on God and you both will desire to please Him.

A lot of relationships and marriages have been abandon because they didn't begin with a goal or purpose in sight that depends on God.
It is said "whatever GOD joins together, let nothing put asunder" key phrase being _what God joins_

After we have had an encounter with God we realize that there is a purpose why we meet certain people in life. And purpose defines our preparation. So first discovering from God if a person you meet is your future partner helps you build a better relationship focused on God, for when your dating and courting has a purpose to it, it will endure.

Discovering God leads a woman into a relationship believing that it is God who created all trees that declares what supplies our needs and not the man - her dependence is on God, with this she won't put pressure on him.
Discovering God makes a man in a relationship not act like a god but humble, knowing that God’s word is the authority - this way he is not putting pressure on her, trying to subjugate her for he know what it means to submit as well, as he submits to God.

The world's standard is we discover a person's problem we leave them for another but in God's standard from the onset God opens our eyes to both seeing our problem and how we can help each other (note before God decision are made with both of you in mind, and not selfish to please one person).
This opening (revelation) occurs at times during prayer, you can't say you love someone as yourself and while you pray for yourself you don't pray for them as well. (Let me add, maturity is learning how to handle what we hear or discover about others whether it's true or false)

As a man you treat a lady you are in a relationship with as you would treat your wife with love and respect, same with ladies, you treat him similarly with honor as you would your husband. It means that everything that function in a marriage should function in your relationship apart from sex.

The world's standard is you start a romantic relationship then discover if you would spend the rest of your life with the person but the biblical standard is first discovering God's will and following through with it and also by the spiritual guidance of God and by support of those who he has placed as godly authority over your lives you then move forward. Most of the women who got married in scripture didn't have a pre-romantic journey what they had was direction and a decision they had to make.

And yes the person might end up not being your wife or husband but you will come out of that relationship where you practiced the right way having learnt more and having made each other better. Taking God's approach breaks us but doesn't leave us broken it makes us realize how much of a blessing we are to another person's life.

Unlike the world, God's standard is that your dating process is not a discovering process, it's a building process, building on what you can see and not discovering because you started with your eyes closed believing false promises. It might be okay to hope and daydream about a person's future potential but it is more important that you know a person's purpose and life pattern, because you can't build with what might happen, you build with what is available.

Let me point this out when we make our personal fulfillment the goal of every relationship, it never works out. It also doesn't work out for those who constantly test their partners, instead of praying and trusting God to reveal the truth while treating them the way God wants us to and not the way we think they deserve.

Great relationships involve struggle, conflict, working through issues, and refusing to demand, consciously or not, that the other person make our lives work. The result is a lot of personal growth and relational health. God is inviting you into a life of thoughtful, sacrificial love in your relationships. It will be the most challenging pursuit you have ever undertaken. BUT IT MUST DEPEND ON GOD WHO ALONE CAN HELP YOU DEFEND IT.

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Mdmelijah:
Instead of fixing your hopes and dreams on another person, fix your hope on God and seek to please him through this relationship

As children of God, who knows the end from the beginning, when entering a relationship - the end should be in sight, meaning you enter with clear indication that this person is possibly your life partner. With you both acknowledging God before you begin, know that along the way there will be clearer recognitions and confirmations. This way your relationship will be fixed on God and you both will desire to please Him.

A lot of relationships and marriages have been abandon because they didn't begin with a goal or purpose in sight that depends on God.
It is said "whatever GOD joins together, let nothing put asunder" key phrase being _what God joins_

After we have had an encounter with God we realize that there is a purpose why we meet certain people in life. And purpose defines our preparation. So first discovering from God if a person you meet is your future partner helps you build a better relationship focused on God, for when your dating and courting has a purpose to it, it will endure.

Discovering God leads a woman into a relationship believing that it is God who created all trees that declares what supplies our needs and not the man - her dependence is on God, with this she won't put pressure on him.
Discovering God makes a man in a relationship not act like a god but humble, knowing that God’s word is the authority - this way he is not putting pressure on her, trying to subjugate her for he know what it means to submit as well, as he submits to God.

The world's standard is we discover a person's problem we leave them for another but in God's standard from the onset God opens our eyes to both seeing our problem and how we can help each other (note before God decision are made with both of you in mind, and not selfish to please one person).
This opening (revelation) occurs at times during prayer, you can't say you love someone as yourself and while you pray for yourself you don't pray for them as well. (Let me add, maturity is learning how to handle what we hear or discover about others whether it's true or false)

As a man you treat a lady you are in a relationship with as you would treat your wife with love and respect, same with ladies, you treat him similarly with honor as you would your husband. It means that everything that function in a marriage should function in your relationship apart from sex.

The world's standard is you start a romantic relationship then discover if you would spend the rest of your life with the person but the biblical standard is first discovering God's will and following through with it and also by the spiritual guidance of God and by support of those who he has placed as godly authority over your lives you then move forward. Most of the women who got married in scripture didn't have a pre-romantic journey what they had was direction and a decision they had to make.

And yes the person might end up not being your wife or husband but you will come out of that relationship where you practiced the right way having learnt more and having made each other better. Taking God's approach breaks us but doesn't leave us broken it makes us realize how much of a blessing we are to another person's life.

Unlike the world, God's standard is that your dating process is not a discovering process, it's a building process, building on what you can see and not discovering because you started with your eyes closed believing false promises. It might be okay to hope and daydream about a person's future potential but it is more important that you know a person's purpose and life pattern, because you can't build with what might happen, you build with what is available.

Let me point this out when we make our personal fulfillment the goal of every relationship, it never works out. It also doesn't work out for those who constantly test their partners, instead of praying and trusting God to reveal the truth while treating them the way God wants us to and not the way we think they deserve.

Great relationships involve struggle, conflict, working through issues, and refusing to demand, consciously or not, that the other person make our lives work. The result is a lot of personal growth and relational health. God is inviting you into a life of thoughtful, sacrificial love in your relationships. It will be the most challenging pursuit you have ever undertaken. BUT IT MUST DEPEND ON GOD WHO ALONE CAN HELP YOU DEFEND IT.

Your write up is so insightful. Can you also write on how God leads one to a godly relationship for the singles based on biblical references. So much issues on dating in the church especially in campuses.
I will list out some of the issues here
1. The issue of many brothers receiving just a single sister. Choosing partner requires praying to God to lead one to the right partner. Yet this issue keep cropping up withing Christian folks.
2. When a brother has prayed and claimed to have received revelation about a sister and went to meet the sister and the sister said oh sorry i have someone am dating. The brother got embarrassed and wondered if God has not truly revealed the person to him.
3. What about the case of sister who has purposed in her heart that she desires to marry from her tribe?
4. I strongly believe most people have hidden personal desires, possibly looking out for some qualities in man or woman before he/she agrees to go into relationship? This reminds me of the new movie of Mike Bamiloye (The Train). Gloria knew the purpose of God for Mike's life. She was convinced that God brought Mike even when Mike had nothing.
I know that the marriage of Issac and Rebecca is perfect example of Christian marriage in the Bible. We saw the role of the father Abraham which tipifies God, Abraham's servant who tipifies Holy Spirit and Issac himself who tipifies Christ. That is, God sent Holy Spirit to seek bride( Church) for Christ (Issac).
Would you please write something addressing the points listed above. Thanks and God bless you real good.

adelove4real200:


Your write up is so insightful. Can you also write on how God leads one to a godly relationship for the singles based on biblical references. So much issues on dating in the church especially in campuses.
I will list out some of the issues here
1. The issue of many brothers receiving just a single sister. Choosing partner requires praying to God to lead one to the right partner. Yet this issue keep cropping up withing Christian folks.
2. When a brother has prayed and claimed to have received revelation about a sister and went to meet the sister and the sister said oh sorry i have someone am dating. The brother got embarrassed and wondered if God has not truly revealed the person to him.
3. What about the case of sister who has purposed in her heart that she desires to marry from her tribe?
4. I strongly believe most people have hidden personal desires, possibly looking out for some qualities in man or woman before he/she agrees to go into relationship? This reminds me of the new movie of Mike Bamiloye (The Train). Gloria knew the purpose of God for Mike's life. She was convinced that God brought Mike even when Mike had nothing.
I know that the marriage of Issac and Rebecca is perfect example of Christian marriage in the Bible. We saw the role of the father Abraham which tipifies God, Abraham's servant who tipifies Holy Spirit and Issac himself who tipifies Christ. That is, God sent Holy Spirit to seek bride( Church) for Christ (Issac).
Would you please write something addressing the points listed above. Thanks and God bless you real good.

Thank you and God bless you sir.

There's a WhatsApp group where some of the issues have been treated, and would also like you to join and bring these questions along as well.

Send me a whatsapp message 08120136979 or use the link in my signature.

I love the questions you have asked above, I will forward to you some of the related teaching posts that were treated earlier. Will be expecting you. Take care and God bless.