Jullima:

Obviously he doesn’t care, just explaining what the OP is about.

3 posible reasons for such behavior..

1) The guy's upbringing or the kinda family he is from.

2) Ego

3) Age difference between Op and the guy.

tasceige:


3 posible reasons for such behavior..

1) The guy's upbringing or the kinda family he is from.

2) Ego

3) Age difference between Op and the guy.

Exactly! All of the above.

OP your bf isn’t evil, neither are you. You are just incompatible, he has these ideas of how he wants his woman to treat him and he’s demanding you to do it.

You keep saying he hasn’t done anything husband material, have you demanded these things from him? Or are you just wallowing in expectations.

Truth is there are many women who will happily do all these wife duties for a man and there are men who will cook whenever their woman visits. People are different and maybe you both should keep looking.

eazzzy1:
OP your bf isn’t evil, neither are you. You are just incompatible, he has these ideas of how he wants his woman to treat him and he’s demanding you to do it.

You keep saying he hasn’t done anything husband material, have you demanded these things from him? Or are you just wallowing in expectations.

Truth is there are many women who will happily do all these wife duties for a man and there are men who will cook whenever their woman visits. People are different and maybe you both should keep looking.

Thank you, quite insightful. Maybe the OP feels it's too early to demand. Like one poster said here the other time. Men will demand for what they feel they are entitled to and even beyond. When ladies make these demands they are quick to tag them with names. I dont see myself asking a man I just met for husband responsibilities, paying Bill's on me and all, neither will I be happy to be doing wifely duties so soon into a new relationship too

Vikky1425:

Alright. How do I feel good doing all these when the said guy does nothing for me? He wants me to overly prove to him how a good wife I'd make yet he isn't doing anything to prove his own worth.

I hope you have left the nonsense rshp? That's how they reduce one to worthless person

rockstarB:

Thank you, quite insightful. Maybe the OP feels it's too early to demand. Like one poster said here the other time. Men will demand for what they feel they are entitled to and even beyond. When ladies make these demands they are quick to tag them with names. I dont see myself asking a man I just met for husband responsibilities, paying Bill's on me and all, neither will I be happy to be doing wifely duties so soon into a new relationship too

The OP bf is also being called names, she has tagged him the traditional man. He has a standard and he has made his standard known. If she rejects I’m sure he would walk away from the relationship.

The demand from the OP doesn’t have to be financial, it could be how she expects to be treated e.g I can’t cook for you till we get married, or I need help in the kitchen etc. If he can’t do those things then she should also take a walk.

I think it’s pointless been in a position where you have all the powers to make a change but you just sit still and complain about it. She’s lucky he didn’t pretend to be nice and caring then start changing when they get married.

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month
Mods please help me push this to front page

This is called Egungun be careful na express you dey go

He is an entitled man

Obviously he won't assist you when you give birth too

Vikky1425:
I just created this account. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I'm bored. His family member called and he asked me to wait for him.
I promised to come and make him vegetable soup today, since morning hes been disturbing me to come because his friend is also around. I sha got there sweating because of the heat and entered kitchen immediately.
I made the vegetable soup and swallow. He said the soup is delicious, after which I served him and his frnd. It is me that took his friends food to dinning table o. I went to sitting room which is just like right from the dinning. In front of his friend he started asking why I couldn't bring them water to wash their hands and also put water inside cup for them to drink.
It's annoying to me because washand basin is right in the dinning and also a water dispenser in the dinning, glass cups are also there so why cant he do that? Knowing well I've been preparing the food. Just that one he cannot do.
After eating he said "it's nice that you can cook, but you're a woman it's your duty to put water for washing hands and to drink, what if any of my family member or my mum is around?"
There was a time he talked about visiting his mum and how I would be the one cooking, that's not a big deal to me as long as am not reduced to the maid.
This is my second visit to his house, the first time I cooked too.
Am still angry anyways. Traditional man in this modern world, he wants to enjoy wife benefit without acting like a husband.
Update; I have told him about it and he says "me that says you should serve us water dont I know the water is beside us?" I asked him why he had to even do that in front of his friend and he said "it's no big deal, I should have still come to serve it too" kept insisting on how it's my duty and him not a believer of division of labour. He then said "I wont take that from you next time"
So now he just told me he'd invite all his friends over soon and have me cook for them all
My ranting goes beyond serving water or not
The relationship is barely one month
Mods please help me push this to front page

Next time you cook under that heat, before dishing the food, call him to the kitchen and tell him that you are about dishing the food and he should help you to serve water

If he dies that then their is hope and if he doesn't do it

Be very careful and watch it, he will be very authoritative and domineering