Good morning nairalanders, I want to ask your help on how to best approach this problem am having. I think i lack a sense of responsibility and urgency. Am going to be 26 this year, but I have missed a lot of opportunities due to a habit that I have been battling with since I was a child. My parents were government workers, they had me in there early 40s(am a 4th born) so am an unplanned child(but that man prick no wan retire). Back in my childhood days I had a lot of free time on my hands although alone, and my parents were always on the job so they didn't have the time to properly induce the necessary discipline I needed into my life, people do things for me including washing my cloths, cooking my food e.t.c., there was no one to tell me to read my books or hold me responsible for it with the exception of a few times(which wasn't enough to install the proper discipline I'll needed for adulthood). People usually thought I was an abnormal kid in my school because I played alone and didn't interact much with my mates. at age 10 i already had my own room(even with a VCD player), one day i came across a disc one of my elder brothers left in the room before going to school, i played the disc and that was the beginning of a new problem in my life, the disc was actually a pornographic disc so at age 10 i started masturbating and no one knew. That year my parents decided to send me to a boarding school due to them having no time to properly help me. God knows I wished they had never taken me to boarding school, that school was a potential killer. I struggled to fit in with the other children since I was a loner, but even worse was that the school had no discipline, we had a lot of free time, we watch films at night instead of the normal reading that other boarding schools do, the school had no fence to prevent us from going out so we could do what ever we like with our lives, there was also shortage of essential teachers. I liked it then, a world where I can do whatever I felt like doing and no one will hold me responsible. They even did my WAEC exam for me(can you believe that shit!), I did jamb and got 161 but somehow only God knows how I entered school(probably luck).

But at 26 now I discovered I have been walking in the tracks of regrets. I just finished my university education last year with one of the lowest GP ever, what i studied i can't even remember. But am I deep thinker so I know I will regret my actions later but I don't want to died knowing I did nothing to help myself. All this was primarily the faults of my parents for being selfish(I don't want to explain why I said they were selfish), they didn't do what they were supposed to do when I was a child but they are expecting me to be productive now, but I can't live my life blaming others. I have to do something before it gets to late for me. please I need advice from mature minds and if you ever have been in my shoes before and have overcome it.

I have been reading comments from people thinking I still blame my parents and others for my situation, but NO I am not blaming anyone anymore. I had to write in details so that people who understand will know where best to advise me on how to start again

I BLAME NO ONE!

Don’t blame your parents
This one is on you

Braintrain:
Don’t blame your parents
This one is on you

it was their faults for not teaching me the needful when they should have but you are right it will be my fault if I end this way.

Bro I perfectly understand you, This is not the time to start putting blames on anybody,You have to do something about this habit else you'll hate your life more in few years to come.
You need to start fending for yourself, get a Job no matter how belittling. Start doing chores first thing every morning immediately you wake up, Keep your room clean,cook your food, limit time on the internet, all these things WILL NOT be easy for you to do,but start somewhere with something small like brushing your teeth or dressing your bed every morning immediately you wake up.

"[/b]All this was primarily the faults of my parents for being selfish(I don't want to explain why I said they were selfish), they didn't do what they were supposed to do when I was a child but they are expecting me to be productive"

Some of us grew up without parents and even fend for ourselves Yet we are productive.


[b][i][/i]but I can't live my life blaming others. I have to do something before it gets too late for me. please I need advice from mature minds and if you ever have been in my shoes before and have overcome it.

Stop Blaming and start working on yourself, sir.

Since You Have Realised The Situation Now How Do We Help You? What Help Do You Want? You Need A Job Or Skills?

Let's leave d blame game and move forward
Wat are ur passion?
I suggest going on a three day fast for God to direct u ..let's start with that

M00N:


it was their faults for not teaching me the needful when they should have but you are right it will be my fault if I end this way.

I agree. Bringing children into this world is a huge responsibility, one that is not to be taken lightly. "Raise up a child in the way he should go, and when he grows he will not depart from it ...."

But now you are an adult, you know you are responsible for your own actions, not your parent. Your life will be what you make of it. You and you alone.

With this realisation that you have now, it's time to retrace your steps. It's not too late. You can take courses online to boost your skills, you can try out ventures untill you find the one you are good at. And above all, work on yourself and stop all those bad habits. Make efforts to be friendlier to people and make new friends.

Ur eye no reach ground,while growing up.u for still learn few things from dem..u can still teach urself or learn from ur environment.

Age 26.. You are no longer a kid.

Please learn to take responsibility for your own actions and inaction. Some people never had parents or guardians and they still turned out great despite their difficult upbringing.

It's not too late to chart a new course for your life. You can still unlearn, relearn and learn new stuffs.

May you not open another complaint/blame thread 20 years from now. Act now!

There's time for everything.!


There is time to care,there's time to take responsibility, there's time to lead, there's time for a change, there's time to be true to our greatest self and time to stop blaming others..

Marry a rich girl.

Problem solved

I don't understand all of you and the need to open some kind threads about your life

If you feel you have a problem, work on it. What will the plenty talk and advice from nairaland achieve if you haven't made up your mind in the first place?

Or is it this lockdown that has made all of us bored and pseudo therapists.

Oga op fix your life and stop all this show and tell. Nobody cares

[quote author=M00N post=89602798]

Since you have come to realization that you have issues then your problems are half-solved!

Now you need to be deliberate in your actions. Make out time to plan your every next move. Good thing you still have age on your side.

This is what I will advice:
1. Take time out to reflect on those things that you do that are not productive and start working towards stopping them.
2. Read a few motivational books (not too much o as too much of everything is bad).
3. Start making good efforts with making friends who are level headed.
4. Finally, plan to do one of the following:

a. Go back to school for a second degree. I don't mean post-graduate or masters but a second degree. Check your certificate to find out what you studied or ask a few classmates.
Take a post-de or whatever exam that is required to get back to school. No one have to tell you to study now. You have to make the effort.

Or

b. Learn a trade or handwork. There are so many to choose from, auto mechanic not excluding heavy duty vehicles, electrical works, fashion design, etc. Make a list and decide on one you think you have a flair for.
The other option here is to delve into the world of ICT with focus on any of the following: web and app development, software engineering, cloud computing etc. Make a list here as well and decide on the skill that fits your person.

Stay away from relationships for now but keep good friends who will motivate you.

Draw close to God and ask for His help.


The choice is all yours my brother, I really do hope you make the right one - it is never too late to start afresh.

Raising a glass to your future success!

[quote author=linnyx post=89605919][/quote]

OP this is the best advice you'll ever get to solve your problem, don't take it lightly.