Ohizman73:


I have also told him the same thing,in my culture from the mid-west that is kee.even in modern times like i always tell people in marriage it is the family of the man shes marries so to say.in our culture marriage is a serious matter not a childs play as many young people of nowadays. till date traditional marriage has more value and legality than their church marriage.

What most people offering advice are discounting or treating lightly, is how this Uncle's wife request, will affect the family of the young man.

"Do unto others, what you will want them to do unto you".
How many of you women chanting it is our tradition, will allow your husband to impregnate this woman?
The fact that he is married already, rules him out of performing this function.

Having said that, what should have been done is to look for a man in the family, who has no wife (yet to marry, divorced, widowed) and let her marry him.
I am not against her marrying from the family but l am against who she is focused on marrying.
They should call a family meeting and sort it out.

God killed him because he was sleeping with his brother's wife with the agreement to make her pregnant but doing withdrawal method and spilling the semen. He was banging her for nothing which is highly deceitful. Stop twisting the bible, are you not afraid of God?

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Mtcheeeeeeew

[quote author=Dorlarphor10 post=89854414][/quote] just ignore this conversation if Bible is your guide. We're talking serious stuff not some Jewish folklore

kyng:
Op the woman demanding sexx from you is wrong that would be adultery.
The right way this would be done is for to approach the family elders and tell them her opinions then they will give her as a wife to one one of the family member who is capable and can take care of her and her children.
Tell her this is the right thing to do

#doitright

What if the other family member is married, wouldn't that be adultery also?

Do you know what they called replace by birth.why all talking as if everything must be religion......una no get tradition?The woman is 100% right she did the right thing.The husband brother only need to tell the family the latest development in as much as that woman is not found wanting.They are free to go ahead.

Even if she is younger than you don't do it.I consider it a betrayal and ojukokoro.
Thou shall not covet your neighbours wife,biko respect your uncle even in his grave.
The reality is that God forbid same thing happens to you,would you be happy your nephew is doing same to your wife.One kid can bring forth a generation e.g Oga Atiku.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

Can she still have kids?? Why didn’t she have more with ur uncle then? How is this matter supposed to even be ur business? How old is ur single child? Seems ur uncle married late or something. Cos I don’t understand sm of the logic. Uncle not brother

You are the only hypocrite here. Firstly,
there was no single Christian in the old testament.

Secondly, God didn't kill him for not impregnating his brother's wife.

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

That it is in the Bible doesn't mean it is accepted. Murder, fornication, incest, homosexuality, pride, theft etc are all in the bible. It doesn't mean that it is accepted.

michlins:
I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

michlins:
I have to tell you but there's nothing wrong with what she asked. She told you that she wants the child from within the family and she has stayed to mourn your uncle respectfully.


This is totally in line with our tradition as Igbo people. Even the Bible supports the idea

Is op the only male in his family? Why must it be him?
@Modesthy please flee from that woman and give her a clear NO for an answer.
If she insists, let her go and call a meeting with the family men and not you or better still, let her remarry

There is no sin in her request, but your families, your wife must be aware and approved it. Take steps by informing elders in the family, they will handle it better.

“And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also. Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭38: 9-11KJV‬‬
https://www.bible.com/1/gen.38.11.kjv
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭38:9-11‭KJV‬‬

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

What she is asking you to do is in order according to my tradition. But the question should be are you the one who should play that part?
So what you should do is to tell her to tell the family or you seek advise from elders of the family.
It's not infidelity in my culture but it should be discussed if you are confused.

clintz:
In the Bible book of genesis 38 God kill Onan for refusing to impregnate his late brothers wife. Nigerian Christians and hypocrisy we select only what we think is right in the Bible.

You guys are always good in quoting the Bible but full of devilish mind, Ka-Chineke mezie okwu

In igbo language, we call this "ikuchi nwanyi".
The problem it will breed in the future would be more dangerous.

Ask any sensible elder you know.

Second, an educated and exposed person shouldn't give it a second thought, no matter the excuses

THIS IS SUPERSTORY, A LIFE OF STRIFE AND SORROW,
THIS IS SUPERSTORY OF GOOD FOOD AND HOUSING, FOR THE FISHES DROWN AND EVEN DIE OF THIRST ,
THIS IS SUPER STORY A LIFE OF PRECIOUS STONES AND GOOD TASTE ,
THIS IS SUPERSTORY
THIS IS SUPERSTORY EEE EEAHH!
THIS IS SUPERSTORY,
THIS IS SUPERSTORY , STORY

if your story is true.... enough if this nonsense tradition

trying to create convinience where none is affordable?

mehn!!! one child is ok, wetin concern u and the woman naaa. this is lust excusable.

guy u don't and u must not. anybody wey loose husband should remarry not start fucking relatives in whatever guise.

sick tradition traction

Can you tell me where tithe was paid in the new testament? Who paid and to whom?

femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

Read Genesis 38
Chapter 38
Judah and Tamar
1 And it came about at that time, that Judah 1departed from his brothers and 2visited a certain aAdullamite, whose name was Hirah.
2 Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was aShua; and he took her and went in to her.
3 So she conceived and bore a son and he named him aEr.
4 Then she conceived again and bore a son and named him aOnan.
5 She bore still another son and named him aShelah; and it was at Chezib 1that she bore him.
6 Now Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar.
7 But aEr, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord took his life.
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “aGo in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up 1offspring for your brother.”
9 Onan knew that the 1aoffspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he 2wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give 1offspring to his brother.
10 But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He atook his life also.
11 Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “aRemain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up”; for he 1thought, “I am afraid that he too may die like his brothers.” So Tamar went and lived in her father’s house.
12 Now 1after a considerable time Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah, died; and when 2the time of mourning was ended, Judah went up to his sheepshearers at aTimnah, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.
13 It was told to Tamar, “1Behold, your father-in-law is going up to aTimnah to shear his sheep.”

femi4:
That was Old testament, Christianity didn't start there

As Christians: Study Old testament to learn how they lived but study new testament to know how to live

Jeremiah 23:16 [This is what the LORD Almighty says: “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the LORD.]

Timothy 4:3-4 [For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.]

Bola146:
Men !!!! na wa o, so if people advice you here to do it, you will do it abeg please tell us what is in your mind or have you done it ?

I think you should have given her a straight answer that you can't do it, that she should remarry or adopt advice ko, advice ni

Madam wannabe feminist, women also seek same kind of "advice" here. So, it isn't a"men" thing.

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

So you are actually seeking advice on what to do?

THAT is d beauty of ISLAM where such problem is solve. the guided religion.

nurusystem:
THAT is d beauty of ISLAM where such problem is solve. the guided religion.

Sleeping with your aunty to produce kids is beauty?

As custom demands you are on noble cause fulfill your uncle's dream give her children nothing wrong in it

Ask your wife then together with ur uncle wife ask the family , if there give u a positive answers then go ahead.

Ohizman73:
the woman never said anything bad.it would sound absurb to many this modern time.And moreever since it was not forced on by her by the family.What has been the families reaction ,at least they took part in his funeral ceremonies. there is a procedure in this regard concerning her fate.despite modern times and all you are the best relative in line.the family opinion matters alot ,most especially if they were in good relations with the man. you own it a responsibility to take care of the mans business interest till the children are of age and affairs of running the mans home. that is why conscience wise you visit the place out of goodwill. what part of nigeria are you from.what is the age of his only son.what age did ur uncle die.what is ur age and his wifes own.

The only person who seems to understand African Customs and Traditions. It even happen in the old testament. But we will never speak of it in church and I do not understand why.

fulaniHERDSman:
Do not complicate your life. In life, the more simple, common and innocent, the better.

Thank you for this super life saving statement.

Modesthy:


I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

It is common place in Igbo tradition. Call your umuna and I will suggest you discuss it with your parents first before going to the entire umuna.

Also discuss with your wife's kindred. It is the proper thing to do. Let's not forget our customs and traditions, our generations to come will become salves if they do not know their history. A part of the United States still practices polygamy till tomorrow. I seldom wonder why those law never caught up with them.

Our customs and traditions are who we are as a people. The Muslims still holds on to theirs, why not Christains? ABI na only go go heaven?

I doubt, because God is not even a Christian. Any way, what do I know?

Modesthy:
I had a good uncle who passed away three years ago. His wife morned him for one year. I lived with that my uncle until I got married and parked to my own house.

I use to visit the house sometimes. After the mourning, his wife called me and told me that I should give her more children. She has only one male child. I refused. But She said I should do it for her because she doesn't want children outside the family because she loved my uncle and our family and that she can't continue to stay with only one child.

I'm completely confused. First I'm married doing that is infidelity, sencondly, the uncle was like a father to me before his death. And I see it as a big sin.

Please somebody should help me, what do I do here? How do I handle this issue? Thanks for your candid advice.

If you have finished having your kids, go for a vasectomy......

Keep enjoying her hot pot of soup, safe in the knowledge that........ Noting go hapin.......