What can someone like me do to resist my inner mind from being oppressed by this non mother- like attitude.Cos ones mum would never do things which could hurt one's feeling. Nowadays i feel as if used to do all that's expected to the last minor shits at home, and irrespective of that i still face some Ill manners like being shouted at, being abused before food is passed to me.Even when she's about leaving for anywhere, u will hear things like do this, do that or else no food for u.And if i lock up my self in my room. My dad always get annoyed that I'm acting weird, but everything seems fine when he's at home.I'm being treated like someone who came for holiday or came to enjoy luxury and must pay in kind.He feels shebi it's the child at home that does everything but I do tell him, not to the last minor shits.It's so frustrating if someone couldn't come over for a little while. If I'm off for days, my dad will be like i deserted him.Have made this understand my discomfort all times but he hardly believe as she tends to act plain in his presence

Dejavue0808:
What can someone like me do to resist my inner mind from being oppressed by this non mother- like attitude.Cos ones mum would never do things which could hurt one's feeling. Nowadays i feel as if used to do all that's expected to the last minor shits at home, and irrespective of that i still face some Ill manners like being shouted at, being abused before food is passed to me.Even when she's about leaving for anywhere, u will hear things like do this, do that or else no food for u.And if i lock up my self in my room. My dad always get annoyed that I'm acting weird, but everything seems fine when he's at home.I'm being treated like someone who came for holiday or came to enjoy luxury and must pay in kind.He feels shebi it's the child at home that does everything but I do tell him, not to the last minor shits.It's so frustrating if someone couldn't come over for a little while. If I'm off for days, my dad will be like i deserted him.Have made this understand my discomfort all times but he hardly believe as she tends to act plain in his presence

Is she your real mom?

First of, how old are you?

So, who do you expected to do the last minor shits at home Your dad or mum?
Ogbeni, go wash plates jare

From your writeup, I could guess you're a kid. Go and do your house chores. Are you expecting her to do them.

From the write-up, I sense that you are still young and probably the only child on the house at the moment.

That being the case, there's no one else to get the daily chores done except for you.

See it as a training for a more independent future for you.

What I see here is loving parent.
They are training you to be independent.

It seems you are the only person at home because your dad and mum are going to work.
It only makes sense for you to do everything unless you just want to find a reason to be rebellious.

Be thankful you are not out there hawking fruits or Yam to ensure you compliment your parents earnings for feeding

If there is something you feel it's too much for you to do, just leave it without even arguing with them, they will get the message loud and clear. But mind you, this approach is just for parents who genuinely maltreatment you

If you think you are man enough and you can no longer do the house chores,how about moving out and finding your own place?But then if you are still young which I think you are,I suggest you talk to your Mum,in the presence of your dad.

Just find alternative accomodation for yourself if you feel you're too old to run errands for your parents who are still feeding you, despite this old age of yours

Dejavue0808:
What can someone like me do to resist my inner mind from being oppressed by this non mother- like attitude.Cos ones mum would never do things which could hurt one's feeling. Nowadays i feel as if used to do all that's expected to the last minor shits at home, and irrespective of that i still face some Ill manners like being shouted at, being abused before food is passed to me.Even when she's about leaving for anywhere, u will hear things like do this, do that or else no food for u. And if i lock up my self in my room. My dad always get annoyed that I'm acting weird, but everything seems fine when he's at home.I'm being treated like someone who came for holiday or came to enjoy luxury and must pay in kind.He feels shebi it's the child at home that does everything but I do tell him, not to the last minor shits.It's so frustrating if someone couldn't come over for a little while. If I'm off for days, my dad will be like i deserted him.Have made this understand my discomfort all times but he hardly believe as she tends to act plain in his presence

Is she your stepmother?
Except for the bolded, I see nothing wrong...

How old are you, OP?

hmm... indomie generation na dem, so u dont want dem 2 send u errands buh u want 2 eat der food? kontinu

Mariangeles:


Is she your stepmother?
Except for the bolded, I see nothing wrong...

yes she is

Dejavue0808:
yes she is

That explains the pretence...

Do you have other siblings by her and your dad?

aeion:
How old are you, OP?

24

Mariangeles:


That explains the pretence...

Do you have other siblings by her and your dad?

none

I know how that feels and totally understand you.
Sometimes parents can be demanding and want to use the same method they where raised to raise their kids which they think will make the kids be like them because they assume they panned out well after the strict and disciplined life they gave them.
They tend to forget that things have changed and the life they use to know when they where kids is not the same life now.
So this is all misunderstanding.
You have to understand and respect their perspective no matter how difficult it can be (not abusive) and then try to explain your perspectives to them too. You people should have a talk.

Hints: mums uses emmotional blackmail, manipulation or sentiments to get to their children. Give them the same treatment and they will understand.

Procedure: ask her while crying, "are you truly my biological mum and still treat me like this" and watch her cry and explain her actions and how it wil benefit you.
You have to understand her, explain to her where n when u feel hurt

Dejavue0808:
24

You have to start behaving like an adult.
You can't allow anybody to threaten and call you names because of food.
Next time she uses food to threaten you, reject that food!
Also, learn to speak up and stand your ground without being disrespectful.
Whenever she calls you names, walk away from her!
Never cry and beg like the above monicker suggested.

Mariangeles:


You have to start behaving like an adult.
You can't allow anybody to threaten and call you names because of food.
Next time she uses food to threaten you, reject that food!
Also, learn to speak up and stand your ground without being disrespectful.
Whenever she calls you names, walk away from her!
Never cry and beg like the above monicker suggested.

The above monicker knows that there is actions and conseqences and also knows that there is time for everything, strong headedness will only lead to more misunderstanding and blame game.
If she rejects her food, hope you will give her something to eat and what if the parents are petty enough to throw her out bc she feels she can take care of herself? Gbas gbos no get measure.
That been said...acting weak is not weakness, it is advantageous for survival or better still let her move out for her sanity sack.
Where your advice leads will implode in the family and cause more rift.

itzdeejay:


The above monicker knows that there is actions and conseqences and also knows that there is time for everything, strong headedness will only lead to more misunderstanding and blame game.
If she rejects her food, hope you will give her something to eat and what if the parents are petty enough to throw her out bc she feels she can take care of herself? Gbas gbos no get measure.
That been said...acting weak is not weakness, it is advantageous for survival or better still let her move out for her sanity sack.
Where your advice leads will implode in the family and cause more rift.

Please! He's an adult already!

Mariangeles:


Please! He's an adult already!

He/she is an adult?

What is the next thing an adult should do? from your extensive understanding of how an adult is supposed to behave.

itzdeejay:


He/she is an adult?

What is the next thing an adult should do? from your extensive understanding of how an adult is supposed to behave.

How's an adult supposed to behave when you call him names and threaten him with common food just to get him to do chores? Would you just stand there and take such just because you don't want to be "disrespectful"?
You don't get to have your way by blackmailing people. It should not be allowed.
Not even one's biological mother should do that.

Mariangeles:


How's an adult supposed to behave when you call him names and threaten him with common food just to get him to do chores? Would you just stand there and take such just because you don't want to be "disrespectful"?
You don't get to have your way by blackmailing people. It should not be allowed.
Not even one's biological mother should do that.

Firstly; i didnt say the mum is blackmailing or manuipulating him. I said mums use this tools to get to their children.
Secondly, i am just realizing he is a guy but same produre can be adopted to both sexes men cry n there is nothing wrong by appearing weak.
Thirdly, as the only child, who is supposed to do the chores? I am the last born, stil do most chores when i go home happily, it has made me to cook n clean up my shit even when i have people that i am older than/females companionship.
This chores means nothing, it is symbiotic association/relationship. (if they provide money, u provide energy,power and time.)

itzdeejay:

Firstly; i didnt say the mum is blackmailing or manuipulating him. I said mums use this tools to get to their children.
Secondly, i am just realizing he is a guy but same produre can be adopted to both sexes men cry n there is nothing wrong by appearing weak.
Thirdly, as the only child, who is supposed to do the chores? I am the last born, stil do most chores when i go home happily, it has made me to cook n clean up my shit even when i have people that i am older than/females companionship.
This chores means nothing, it is symbiotic association/relationship. (if they provide money, u provide energy,power and time.)

Go through my previous comments, I never encouraged him to ignore chores.

Endure until you are fully independent