Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] - Family - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] (502 Views)
Neglect Of The Boy Child: We Need To Speak Up / DNA Test Saga Has Made Some Ladies Reveal Their Secrets ( Pics Included / How To Prevent The Boy Child From Sexual Abuse (2) (3) (4)
| Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by KayPopCulture: 1:33pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
The rape trend has become the order of the day in Nigeria and also some other top countries in the world. The word “RAPE” in Nigeria have a different meaning and view compare to what it really means. Rape as the dictionary put it, means to force somebody to have sex with you when they do not want to by threatening them or using violence. Rape in Nigeria is synonymous to the female gender who are being molested by the male gender for sexual gratification and different things, which has always cause havoc and spark in the society most especially cases that are being reported and have a large media coverage or spotlight. But here comes my questions: What is the drive that makes the male gender the face or icon of rapist and why do they indulge in it. Why is it that the female gender are the ones that are usually the victim of rape or is that there little or no report of the boy child story? OR should we just forget the male gender rape since they are male and focus more attention on the female gender rape hat can possibly make a man to be a rapist? Let take the question one after the other. The first question is what is the drive behind rape among the male gender and why they are always the icon of the word “RAPIST” and why do they indulge in it. The male gender have always been the face and the icon of rape in the society due to the fact that boy child rape story is not common in our society. The society most especially Nigeria, believe it is impossible to rape a male gender, since they wear no hymen in-between their legs, and their high sexual drive towards sex. Hence, making them the icon of a rapist, which is not true to some extent. Most rapist who are rapist do not just wake up one day and indulge in the act. Most of them where one way or the other an ex-victim too. Most rapist were once molested in their early childhood when their brain is still developing and most of them did not outgrow or get over the psychological trauma. Hence they try to fist on the nearest weak person to satisfy and gratify their psychological state. I as a guy I also faced sexual molestation and rape when growing up as a child. My first encounter was with an aunty who happens to be our neighbor class mate then. She use her role and influence to indulge me in it which I declined, but later turn fall victim. Growing up as a victim made me lose interest in ladies and their ways. Then I see them as sex starve object who can do anything to have you even if it does not come from your own will. But thank God for re-orientation and educative books that change my psychology state and drive, if not I would have been in the league of the rapist gang fisting on innocent girls. A rapist is not born they are made by what they see through their life journey. Despite the fact that there is little or no report about the boy child rape, I think digging deep and re-orientating the male child will go a long way, now that the population of the female gender is on the rise. The journey through life as male gender is quite different from the female in terms in terms of how to keep their self, how to handle adulthood, how to control sex drive and how to speak up when raped or molested. If the rape saga of a thing will come to an end, I feel there is a need to advocate for the boy child too, the same way we do for the female child. Most of these boys out there in our society knows little or nothing about sex apart from the one somebody from the hood tell them or the ones about. Their sexual orientation most time is what they watch on adult website. The boy child has to know more about his gender and about adult content that it is far beyond the reality and the porn actor are just acting and faking the act. They have to know that the actor takes more drugs than a drug addict hence the scene that they see is not what they have to act upon. Parent too is not left out they have to know what their child are up to, the friends they follow, to mention but a few. I know some people will say “why can’t you start the campaign instead of this long write up”. Yea it’s true but do you know that people don’t take anything related to the boy child serious more than the girl child. I remember vividly last year when I wrote a creative piece about how a boy is being rape and victimize in the name of making or calling the boy child “ A BIG BOY” , no one reacted some persons who are maybe guilty of the act went as far as reporting my post and my account was locked temporary for days. Then I began to reason that if things should go like this, rape story will keep on increasing day. But let say the story or the piece happens to be the other way round many people will post, repost, reacted by crying to mention but a few. In conclusion, and in my own view I would implore the N.G.O and different agencies to use the same zeal for the girl child for the boy child too and orientate the male gender more about sex, rape and its psychological effect. Doing that we create a balance in the society and make the two gender to respect each other and encourage the male gender to speak up. Since equality has been what the feminist and the female gender have been clamoring for. Government also should put in place law that will make rape a NO-GO area for anybody that wants to indulge in it. Thanks for reading. KAY-POP-CULUTRE. Modified 1 Like 2 Shares |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 2:02pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
You're welcome. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 2:34pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
KayPopCulture: Which research? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Mindlog: 2:38pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Men themselves should be the leading advocates for the criminalization of sexual abuse of the boy child, so that boys can be bold enough to come forward to report sexual abuses and perpetrators seen to be arrested and prosecuted. Most times, it is the males themselves that make boys who have been sexually abused to feel effeminate because they dare to open up about the abuse. They make these boys think and feel they are not the victims rather it proves that they are "men" and some of these boys rationalize the abuse and go on later in life to brag about being a "stud" right from their childhood!  4 Likes |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by KayPopCulture: 3:23pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3777344/ |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 3:58pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
KayPopCulture: I took the time to actually read it. It was an interesting read but it does not say "that most rapist were once molested in their early childhood stage between the age of 6-12". You have inaccurately summarized the summary of the research the article draws from. 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by KayPopCulture: 4:27pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:ok. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 4:37pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:It's an interesting read indeed. What caught my attention is that people that are into BDSM are bound to be rapists. And ladies loved Christian Grey. (BDSM novels are hot cakes. The question now is this, do ladies love when force is used on them? Do they secretly crave it and lead the man on for it? If a woman gets wet while reading hard-core BDSM or watching it, that's the problem. A man who loves BDSM should look for a lady who like that instead of consenting to rape. No excuse. So likewise a lady. We are still very young in sexual expression) Sadists,substance abusers, paedophile, paraphilliac etc then under paraphilliac u see people who had abused childhood. I think that's what @op is trying to say. Just part of it. In all, it's a cankerworm in our society and we have to redefine how we train our children especially our male child in words and deeds. We don't even have psychiatric Drs or seasoned psychologists that will research on this bearing in mind how our culture influences these behaviours. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Mindlog: 4:41pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: May look into it for my dissertation.  |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 4:52pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
KayPopCulture:I read it but did not see what you claimed in your post. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 5:29pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: The summary of the research the article draws from is rather inaccurate. It provides no numbers. As far as I am informed on the topic (not an expert) people who engage in BDSM are usually very much concerned about consent. They have safe words so that the submissive partner can say no/stop if they feel uncomfortable. @bold I agree 100%. Just because you want to have rough sex with your husband/boyfriend does not mean you want to be forced to have it by a stranger. People also have lots of fantasies that turn them on but would not actually want them play out beyond the fantasy world. I have talked about it with my female friends. There are some things that feel exciting when you think of them but would not be able to actually do them. 1 Like |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 6:05pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Hathor5:Even with your spouse. As long as they are unaware of your intent and anticipated it, that's rape. I read low key bdsm novels and it's all good until i decided to watch one. I almost puked. Sexual orientation differs a lot. 1 Like |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 6:12pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: I always assume they express their consent in the first place. I read low key bdsm novels and it's all good until i decided to watch one. I almost puked. Sexual orientation differs a lot.  And then your favorite turn-on turned into a turn-off.  This is what I mean, there is a HUGE difference between our own fantasy and reality. So even if many ladies fantasize about Christian Gray (a man who most men do not resemble even a tiny little bit  ) does not mean they would want to be raped. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by bukatyne(f): 6:14pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: Hahahahahaha at 'it was all good until I decided to watch one.' |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 6:20pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
bukatyne: Don't even go there U will collar me and drag me around like goat. WTF. Or slap my bombom. I wouldn't know when I will slap you back o These authors eeeh. They have magic hands. Reality is so diff from fantasy |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 6:28pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Hathor5: U know, I know like two babes that love violent sex and they orchestrate it. They don't know anything about BDSM. Even me, as at that time, I didn't know anything about it too at least we would have looked for solution. We told one to go for healing. Looking back now, I wish I had known what I knew now cos one was heavily scandalized by it and want solution. The issue there is that as our awareness increases, people with such tendencies should try and find themselves and viola away. 1 Like |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 6:37pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: I hear you.  We all live and learn. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by bukatyne(f): 6:43pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
I will attempt to answer these questions with what I have seen, studied and inferred: 1. What is the drive that makes the male gender the face or icon of rapist and why do they indulge in it. 2. Why is it that the female gender are the ones that are usually the victim of rape or is that there little or no report of the boy child story? 3. OR should we just forget the male gender rape since they are male and focus more attention on the female gender rape hat can possibly make a man to be a rapist? 1. The male gender is stronger physically than the female gender and has more testosterone. That means men would feel the urge for sex more and would use their resources (money, time, position, words etc.) to get it. That is why a lot of guys feel investing their time & money in a girl they have shown interest in should yield sex. The female gender also use their resources (sex, pressure, manipulation) to get what they want. That's why a girl after breakout would say 'he used and dumped' me irrespective of the 'narrative' that there is no user, they both enjoyed it. Yorubas would say 'won ja lole ara, owo and emi' he stole her body (sex), money (if there was) and soul (affection). The female gender uses pressure to get want they want from the male gender. That's why she would sulk, cry, beg, vex till he gets the iphone even if he doesn't want to. That's why generally (stereotype i know), the advise given to women is more of pressure/seduction/manipulation (cook sweet food, wear red pant and bra, sex him well today, bla bla bla) and advise given to men is more of strength/authority (show her who is the boss, take her home for re-training, do this, do that bla bla bla). 2. The boy child is also a victim HOWEVER, because there is usually no bodily harm in heterosexual pedophile encounters (no hymen/vaginal cavity) and a boy doesn't bear evidence of sex (disflowering, pregnancy etc) It is easier to move on. If a boy tells you he was raped, it is his word against the females. Also, it is believed that a girl bodywise carries more 'virtue' which needs to be preserved. This is taught from Lagos to Jamaica. 3. Rape on both genders should be focused on because your earliest sexual encounters usually determines the way forward except conscious effort is made to reverse it. Unfortunately, a man would always bear the burden of rape while a woman would always bear the burden of slut/LovePeddler. New age feminism still wants the man to bear the burden of rape (consent ish is designed around women) while the woman is absorbed of the burden of slut/whoredom (she has the freedom to do as she likes). Now, all these is what I call 'the natural state'. Religion, personal development and individual exceptions will make some people behave differently from the 'norm'. So yes, training of both sexes is absolutely important to 'reconfigure' the 'natural' state. 1 Like |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by bukatyne(f): 6:45pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: One of my friend said If anyone slaps her bottom or hits her, she will not know when she will retaliate and forget BDSM. I still need convincing that nothing broke in those people when they were younger. Is not this same body? |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Nobody: 6:49pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
bukatyne:Haaaa Yeah, majority of them have violent childhood according to novels o like Christian grey was sexually and physically abused so he grew up with that. I also see lack of love among the pattern. I wish them luck o Me that's allergic to pain as in seriously. I will faint before u start your ministration |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by bukatyne(f): 6:51pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: I can't wrap my head around it. As in, no mixing of pleasure and pain. Hahahahahahaha at faint. |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by ibkayee(f): 7:16pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
Rape against males is definitely underreported and their trauma is often dismissed, and I definitely think it’s always a conversation worth having. I just find it interesting that I usually only see it brought up by men when the focus is on women. All rape victims should be accounted for, but it puts a bad taste in my mouth when it seems like it’s only being done to deflect from discussions about female rape victims, rather than genuine advocation. You get asked to start campaigns and champion it yourselves because we're used to men only bringing it up because of an agenda. Men themselves are some of the biggest perpetrators of shaming male victims. I’m not saying one is more important than the other, rape is rape after all. Both men and women are capable of rape, I don’t know the stats, what I do know is that men do it significantly more often, across the world, historically, that’s why they’re the ‘face’ of it. I also think that the difference between male and female rape is that whilst there are many awful women who commit sexual assault, cases of male rapists are more rooted in a social/systematic issue in our society. Men are primarily the ones with a culture of sexual violence and females are synonymous to being the victim because they’re primarily at the receiving end. Men also don't have the experience that women have of being taught to constantly protect themselves from the opposite sex for their entire life, this is the main difference. I agree with your point that re-orientating the male child will go a long way, because there’s often more focus on teaching the female to protect herself than actually teaching the male not be sexually inappropriate. Edit: I don't know about your point about 'most of them being an ex-victim too', whilst I don't dispute that this may be a factor for some people. 'Most' sounds like a reach, it also sounds like a subtle way of 'victimizing' them and an excuse/way to 'account' for their horrible, inexcusable behaviour. And it's not good enough... 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 7:19pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
sassysure: But we don't know it for sure, do we? |
| Re: Boy Child Education: The Another Way To Stop Female Gender Rape Saga [opinion] by Hathor5(f): 7:20pm On Jun 03, 2020 |
ibkayee: Young lady, you have my respect!  1 Like 1 Share |
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