Sorry I created this account because I have been following this forum as a guest. Something has been bothering me. I am a boy of 18 yers last year I travelled from ekiti to Abuja to visit my uncle it was my first time to go to Abuja , I was very excited and couldn’t wait to see the place myself because I was getting jealous of my parents and older siblings talking about the place after visiting my uncle. My uncle was aware of my arrival because he paid for my transport fare. On my way to his place we was chatting via Facebook messenger he told me that he was busy at work and he will be home late but his wife and kids are at home they will take care of me . After a long journey i
Arrive safely to his house it was around 7 in the evening , I knocked and a man came a security guy , I introduced myself but the guy refuse to allow me to go inside. He locked me out, i taught maybe I was in the wrong house but when I took my diary to check the address again and it was correct , I just don’t know why he refuse to allow me inside , I don’t know if it was his wife who told him not to , I was confuse , I was tired , hungry my last meal was 2 in the afternoon and desperately needed to use toilet my head was spinning and hurting me bad . My phone was dead low battery and I couldn’t call my uncle to inform him of what was happening , I was in tears because I didn’t know what else to do , in a big city like Abuja and the only people I knows abandon me. Because it was dark and people were not passing around , i desperately needed toilet I had to pee outside there compound and I sat there with my luggage for almost long time then the guy came again and opened the door and ask me to follow him. He took me inside the house where my uncle’s wife and another wife I didn’t know who she was were watching tv , I greeted them and his wife said why I can’t I phone her to let her know that I was outside , I explained that my battery was dead but she wasn’t interested , she then asked her maid to show me the room and the bathroom so I could have my bath. I was very angry my entire body was shaking , I wanted to ask her if I could eat first but I was shy to ask and I went and had my bath and all I could think of was foods. I taught after my bath I will go downstairs and my food will be ready of which I went downstairs to eat and my uncle was also back , I greeted him then he went to have his bath while the maid was preparing food for me , I taught it was for both of us but I was wrong, few mins later his wife told me to go sleep because I had a long tiring day I should rest. I obeyed but deep in me I was like how could this woman be this wicked , first of al she locked me outside for 2 hours and again she deprived me of food , i was in tears again I am a boy but I very emotional, I cry anytime I am pained . I went to bed angry something I never did before even taught my parents are not rich but we never sleep angry. I cried a lot that night I soaked my pillow with tears and I just couldn’t wait for sun to come so I could eat. In the morning I woke up very early but I had to wait for my cousins to wake so we could all eat together and we had a great breakfast together with both parents but what I noticed for one week I had spend with them is his wife only treated me well when my uncle was around and when is not around is hell. She wouldn’t let me eat in the same table with her kids or touched her children PlayStation games , she will keep my cousins away from me , I will be all alone but I have never told my uncle anything because I don’t want to cause problems. Till now I have also never had told my parents about what his wife did to me. My mum is a no nonsense woman if I told her she would have go all the way to Abuja to fight her so I decided to keep it to myself. The issue on ground is my mum want my 14 years old little sister to go and live with my uncle so my uncle could train her but I don’t like the idea because his wife will abuse her the same way she did with me , mine was only for a week it was hell and what about my sister who will be with them for years , I am scared that She will die of anger and I will not see her again but I don’t know how to tell my mum not to send her because if I said what happened to me there , it will cause a lot of trouble because my mum will revenge . I just don’t know what to tell her or should I let her go and wait for her to speak for herself when she will start abusing her. What should I do please

.

Hmm

.

You never mentioned your dad. Why not tell him instead knowing fully well how your mum would react. You definitely need to do something, so as to prevent your sister from facing such a cruel treatment from that wicked tin. Even for this rape era, @daboy18 make sure you do everything in your power to prevent your little sister from going to that house. You are a young man now, be strong for your siblings and protect your family by all means.
Some women sef. Na God go save men from them. Imagine what you were put through in the hands of that witch. Tufiapa!

I believe you should reach out to someone your uncle respects and trust to a great deal, he or she will know how best to approach the matter. Be careful so you dont start a family crisis or worst ruin your younger sisters chances in life, Life is filled with sacrifices, its part of what builds you emotionally.
All the best.

Angry or hungry?

daboy18:
Sorry I created this account because I have been following this forum as a guest. Something has been bothering me. I am a boy of 18 yers last year I travelled from ekiti to Abuja to visit my uncle it was my first time to go to Abuja , I was very excited and couldn’t wait to see the place myself because I was getting jealous of my parents and older siblings talking about the place after visiting my uncle. My uncle was aware of my arrival because he paid for my transport fare. On my way to his place we was chatting via Facebook messenger he told me that he was busy at work and he will be home late but his wife and kids are at home they will take care of me . After a long journey i
Arrive safely to his house it was around 7 in the evening , I knocked and a man came a security guy , I introduced myself but the guy refuse to allow me to go inside. He locked me out, i taught maybe I was in the wrong house but when I took my diary to check the address again and it was correct , I just don’t know why he refuse to allow me inside , I don’t know if it was his wife who told him not to , I was confuse , I was tired , hungry my last meal was 2 in the afternoon and desperately needed to use toilet my head was spinning and hurting me bad . My phone was dead low battery and I couldn’t call my uncle to inform him of what was happening , I was in tears because I didn’t know what else to do , in a big city like Abuja and the only people I knows abandon me. Because it was dark and people were not passing around , i desperately needed toilet I had to pee outside there compound and I sat there with my luggage for almost long time then the guy came again and opened the door and ask me to follow him. He took me inside the house where my uncle’s wife and another wife I didn’t know who she was were watching tv , I greeted them and his wife said why I can’t I phone her to let her know that I was outside , I explained that my battery was dead but she wasn’t interested , she then asked her maid to show me the room and the bathroom so I could have my bath. I was very angry my entire body was shaking , I wanted to ask her if I could eat first but I was shy to ask and I went and had my bath and all I could think of was foods. I taught after my bath I will go downstairs and my food will be ready of which I went downstairs to eat and my uncle was also back , I greeted him then he went to have his bath while the maid was preparing food for me , I taught it was for both of us but I was wrong, few mins later his wife told me to go sleep because I had a long tiring day I should rest. I obeyed but deep in me I was like how could this woman be this wicked , first of al she locked me outside for 2 hours and again she deprived me of food , i was in tears again I am a boy but I very emotional, I cry anytime I am pained . I went to bed angry something I never did before even taught my parents are not rich but we never sleep angry. I cried a lot that night I soaked my pillow with tears and I just couldn’t wait for sun to come so I could eat. In the morning I woke up very early but I had to wait for my cousins to wake so we could all eat together and we had a great breakfast together with both parents but what I noticed for one week I had spend with them is his wife only treated me well when my uncle was around and when is not around is hell. She wouldn’t let me eat in the same table with her kids or touched her children PlayStation games , she will keep my cousins away from me , I will be all alone but I have never told my uncle anything because I don’t want to cause problems. Till now I have also never had told my parents about what his wife did to me. My mum is a no nonsense woman if I told her she would have go all the way to Abuja to fight her so I decided to keep it to myself. The issue on ground is my mum want my 14 years old little sister to go and live with my uncle so my uncle could train her but I don’t like the idea because his wife will abuse her the same way she did with me , mine was only for a week it was hell and what about my sister who will be with them for years , I am scared that She will die of anger and I will not see her again but I don’t know how to tell my mum not to send her because if I said what happened to me there , it will cause a lot of trouble because my mum will revenge . I just don’t know what to tell her or should I let her go and wait for her to speak for herself when she will start abusing her. What should I do please

Ok.

I just don’t know what to tell her or should I let her go and wait for her to speak for herself when she will start abusing her.
What should I do please.

What?? Don't.

As a man, your priority is to protect your family from those who'll harm them. You better speak up and pour out everything like a broken tap.

How can you be comfortable sending your sis to a “slaughter” house?? What if she bottles it like you did and refuse to open up?? Talk Bro.

Infact, sing like a canary.

These are the kind of stories you wait till you hear the version of your uncle’s wife.

Your parents and your older siblings visited the same uncle and came back to rave about it.

You were locked out for two hours, according to your aunty she didn’t know it was you (maybe true or false) but it’s very plausible.

Although some people are very good hosts, they offer food first to all their visitors, some don’t until you ask for the food. Your uncle also didn’t offer you food, why blame only his wife?

The only ‘evil’ thing I see here is how you say she treated you differently from your cousins. That’s not a good thing to do. I think you should let your sister go and live her own experience, maybe it will be different from yours, your older siblings had a more pleasant experience or better option, your parents raise their kid.

From experience some visitors feel they’ve been treated badly because the kind of reception they expected fell below their expectations.

This is a dicey situation, I’d advice you talk to your sister instead, you Uncle can train your sister from wherever, I don’t get this idea of coming to live with someone in the guise of training him/her.
Just sit your sister down, tell her what to expect, and how you felt during your stay there, if your family is comfortable, I really don’t see the need of relocating and intruding on another family really, especially in this time of increasing rape cases, rampant Girls abuse!
Let your uncle train your sister from where she is!

Well, I think you should inform your mother. But also beg her not to act rash

Can you please use paragraphs? It hurts my eyes to read the text like this.

.

Why are you guys being a burden on the Abuja family

why should your mum send her girl child to a relative to train?? Why cant she train her OWN daughter under her roof till she is of age? If your mum is financially handicap to cater for the number of children she CHOOSE to bare then she should speak with your uncle and request if he will support her in training your sister academically FROM HER OWN ROOF!!

It is wrong for your uncle's wife to treat other kids differently from hers however she doesnt have to be kind to you guys and you or your mum cant force her to be nice to you......again, if your mum is one of those relatives that as you say "is a no nonsense woman" she really should stop bullying and harrassing other women whom are managing their families within their resources in their own homes.

I wonder why some parents like to send their children to stay with relatives for them to train...it is really a bad idea...Most relatives can't take care of another person's child same way they treat their own children...Even to stay with some relatives just for few days na serious headache let alone for a longer period....They pamper their own kids and enslave another person's child.

@op you need to convince your mum to watch your sister grow under her care...it is better for her to be drinking garri peacefully with your mum than eating chicken at your uncle's place with so much pain and tears.

All the best.

All these uncles wives sef, whatever it takes, dont allow your sister to go live with them.
Why does she have to go there to start with? Are your parents not financially capable to train her in school themselves

Botanics:
why should your mum send her girl child to a relative to train?? Why cant she train her OWN daughter under her roof till she is of age? If your mum is financially handicap to cater for the number of children she CHOOSE to bare then she should speak with your uncle and request if he will support her in training your sister academically FROM HER OWN ROOF!!

It is wrong for your uncle's wife to treat other kids differently from hers however she doesnt have to be kind to you guys and you or your mum cant force her to be nice to you......again, if your mum is one of those relatives that as you say "is a no nonsense woman" she really should stop bullying and harrassing other women whom are managing their families within their resources in their own homes.

This is apt
The OP is 18, so I assume the sister to be in secondary school. There are good public schools around, it wont cost them any fortune.

LewsTherin:
Angry or hungry?

A hungry man is an angry man

daboy18:
Sorry I created this account because I have been following this forum as a guest. Something has been bothering me. I am a boy of 18 yers last year I travelled from ekiti to Abuja to visit my uncle it was my first time to go to Abuja , I was very excited and couldn’t wait to see the place myself because I was getting jealous of my parents and older siblings talking about the place after visiting my uncle. My uncle was aware of my arrival because he paid for my transport fare. On my way to his place we was chatting via Facebook messenger he told me that he was busy at work and he will be home late but his wife and kids are at home they will take care of me . After a long journey i
Arrive safely to his house it was around 7 in the evening , I knocked and a man came a security guy , I introduced myself but the guy refuse to allow me to go inside. He locked me out, i taught maybe I was in the wrong house but when I took my diary to check the address again and it was correct , I just don’t know why he refuse to allow me inside , I don’t know if it was his wife who told him not to , I was confuse , I was tired , hungry my last meal was 2 in the afternoon and desperately needed to use toilet my head was spinning and hurting me bad . My phone was dead low battery and I couldn’t call my uncle to inform him of what was happening , I was in tears because I didn’t know what else to do , in a big city like Abuja and the only people I knows abandon me. Because it was dark and people were not passing around , i desperately needed toilet I had to pee outside there compound and I sat there with my luggage for almost long time then the guy came again and opened the door and ask me to follow him. He took me inside the house where my uncle’s wife and another wife I didn’t know who she was were watching tv , I greeted them and his wife said why I can’t I phone her to let her know that I was outside , I explained that my battery was dead but she wasn’t interested , she then asked her maid to show me the room and the bathroom so I could have my bath. I was very angry my entire body was shaking , I wanted to ask her if I could eat first but I was shy to ask and I went and had my bath and all I could think of was foods. I taught after my bath I will go downstairs and my food will be ready of which I went downstairs to eat and my uncle was also back , I greeted him then he went to have his bath while the maid was preparing food for me , I taught it was for both of us but I was wrong, few mins later his wife told me to go sleep because I had a long tiring day I should rest. I obeyed but deep in me I was like how could this woman be this wicked , first of al she locked me outside for 2 hours and again she deprived me of food , i was in tears again I am a boy but I very emotional, I cry anytime I am pained . I went to bed angry something I never did before even taught my parents are not rich but we never sleep angry. I cried a lot that night I soaked my pillow with tears and I just couldn’t wait for sun to come so I could eat. In the morning I woke up very early but I had to wait for my cousins to wake so we could all eat together and we had a great breakfast together with both parents but what I noticed for one week I had spend with them is his wife only treated me well when my uncle was around and when is not around is hell. She wouldn’t let me eat in the same table with her kids or touched her children PlayStation games , she will keep my cousins away from me , I will be all alone but I have never told my uncle anything because I don’t want to cause problems. Till now I have also never had told my parents about what his wife did to me. My mum is a no nonsense woman if I told her she would have go all the way to Abuja to fight her so I decided to keep it to myself. The issue on ground is my mum want my 14 years old little sister to go and live with my uncle so my uncle could train her but I don’t like the idea because his wife will abuse her the same way she did with me , mine was only for a week it was hell and what about my sister who will be with them for years , I am scared that She will die of anger and I will not see her again but I don’t know how to tell my mum not to send her because if I said what happened to me there , it will cause a lot of trouble because my mum will revenge . I just don’t know what to tell her or should I let her go and wait for her to speak for herself when she will start abusing her. What should I do please

. Most of our Nigerian women are just like that,even nairaland women too..

Harshreality:
Well, I think you should inform your mother. But also beg her not to act rash

To be objective, what moral ground does the OP's mother have to act rashly?

Because her brother's wife did not welcome her son properly?

And so?

The OP's duty is to tell the mom so the girl isn't maltreated and/or abused in Abuja.

If the aunt is as painted by the OP, the kid sister would soon be forced to fend for herself which is a recipe for disaster.

Nobody will take care of you like your own parents, take that anywhere.

Irrespective of the way your aunt treated you, it will still be better for your sister to stay at home and be brought up with her own immediate family.

Jullima:
These are the kind of stories you wait till you hear the version of your uncle’s wife.

Your parents and your older siblings visited the same uncle and came back to rave about it.

You were locked out for two hours, according to your aunty she didn’t know it was you (maybe true or false) but it’s very plausible.

Although some people are very good hosts, they offer food first to all their visitors, some don’t until you ask for the food. Your uncle also didn’t offer you food, why blame only his wife?

The only ‘evil’ thing I see here is how you say she treated you differently from your cousins. That’s not a good thing to do. I think you should let your sister go and live her own experience, maybe it will be different from yours, your older siblings had a more pleasant experience.

From experience some visitors feel they’ve been treated badly because the kind of reception they expected fell below their expectations.

Auntie I understand u re trying to stay on the fence but if what he typed are the exact way it happened, then that wife get skuri.

What kinda version sef from what I saw there she called him in when she knew her huz was on his' way home or do u want to say the huz didn't mention his' coming at all for her not ve known and probably do a second chk wen she was told someone was at the gate.

What kinda Host wait 4 visitors to ask 4 food 1st time visitor for that matter and a teenager in this context as Yoruba when u go to people's house esp 4 the first time, u re expected to maintain some decorum wch he did and it was d woman that ought to ve done the right thing.

U also said she hosted others well trying to say perhaps he is the one with issues. Have u thot of it in the context that she fears her sis-in-law and out of respect she has for her she had no choice than to pretend and hide her heinous act.

OP if u love ur sis pls tell ur mum what happened and ur worries if ur sister shld go and live with ur uncle cos of his wife.
U don't hide issues like this u ve endured but ur sis is too small to go thru any trauma from people like that if family Wan scatter abeg make in scatter ur sis remains ur sis let ur mum settle any issue that may come with this with her own broda.

Pls don't mind anybody saying make family no scatter ur sis is ur first family and u must protect her jealously.

talk 2 u mom

I don't understand the need for some women to be unnecessarily wicked to another human for no reason, tell your mum pls.

Orlaoluwayimika:


Auntie I understand u re trying to stay on the fence but if what he typed are the exact way it happened, then that wife get skuri.

I like to give people benefit of a doubt.

It’s very plausible the aunty was unaware he was outside. A lot of things could’ve gone wrong from gate house to main house. Did the gateman go tell the wife in the house immediately? Do you know if the uncle told his wife he was coming? How long did it take for the wife to know someone was outside and for her to call the uncle if he was expecting someone? All these could also be false and the woman might just be evil and she’s very comfortable risking a child’s life.

I always like to believe the positive plausible angle until you prove me wrong.

I also find it strange that his wife didn’t offer him food along with his bath, I find it even stranger the uncle didn’t ask about his trip and if he has eaten.

I have been a guest and I have been a host and from experience most people’s quality of stay can also be based on their perception and their expectations on what they think they’re owed by their hosts. I also don’t want to invalidate the OP’s experience. I think he should tell his sister his own experience and tell her what to watch out for. If you have food, shelter and security what else is left again?

Tushnigerian:
This is a dicey situation, I’d advice you talk to your sister instead, you Uncle can train your sister from wherever, I don’t get this idea of coming to live with someone in the guise of training him/her.
Just sit your sister down, tell her what to expect, and how you felt during your stay there, if your family is comfortable, I really don’t see the need of relocating and intruding on another family really, especially in this time of increasing rape cases, rampant Girls abuse!
Let your uncle train your sister from where she is!

Thank you. All he needs is to send the funds, I hope they aren't stylishly looking for an assistant maid because they will turn around to say it's training.

Let your sister stay with her family.

You better open you mouth and let the truth come out. If I was in your position right now, I will not even think twice why because my sister's well being is at stake.

Tell your father if your mother is not able to control her emotions.