yettymuse:
they are littered everywhere now! Dusty men everywhere! I'm only worried for the sisters that would fall for their gimmicks...Times are really hard! Tufiakwa!

The sisters that fell for thier gimmick are also opening threads daily.

So sad!

Heathrow44:




U re too fragile or u are lazy and don't like working but enjoy eating shey?? U r not even ashamed of urslf, eh!! Dats y I said u re a minor

Your mother is a.minor .... your father is lazy .... you are thoer product.... a.lazy minor

nahzyla:
Just look at all these desperate broke gold diggers arguing shamelessly on this thread for their right to eat a womans money while "owning" her at the same time.

Thunder fire all of una

You are not entitled to your wife's money. If she decides to spend on the family it's a privilege you should appreciate from her.
If una won chop woman money be ready to start answering her name after marriage and also submit to her.

Foolish gold diggers

They have pushed my sister to the wall.

When I read your beautiful write up yesterday...... I said yimu she thinks she is talking to SANE men.... loooooool

You see for yourself now.

It is women who accept thos lazy fccuuks I pity. Collecting money from a pregnant wife is the height of irresponsibility but ....... it is the women who accommodate them.

Ybaby:
,

Your mother is a.minor .... your father is lazy .... you are thoer product.... a.lazy minor

U re bitter and pained woman, Sowie I TLD u d bitter truth nobody told u b4, u don't contribute anything t even ur own child care u leave it all t ur hubby whereas u are an oriaku of all d man's work, one day u may end up even eating ur children's college education funds because that's what u do, eat other people's hardwork without contributing anything t them


"ORIAKU, OBIAGERI mgbeke woman!!

Ybaby:


Your mother is a.minor .... your father is lazy .... you are thoer product.... a.lazy minor

All u said is what exactly ur parents re, u described them well enough cos u knw dem personally!

Selfish woman ....

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Get in touch with Cynthia Velarian Raphaels on Facebook, you will thank me later.

Jh

Somebody created thread and logged out immediately, hasn’t entered Nairaland since then. But look at nairalanders, arranging to insult themselves over a story that is most likely made up.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Why exactly are you married if you have to hide things from your spouse? What has next of kin got do do with finances? What baffles me most is that people sign up for marriage with the intent of hiding things from each other. You really need your head examined. Looks like you already have an exit plan ehn

I and my wife have known about each other’s finances long before we got married. She knows how I earn every kobo and I know hers too. The money we earn separately is spent jointly o making our lives better

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

what a bad judge you are?? Totally ignored the main complaint and focused on the consequence. SMH..

If this is a real story...and if for whatever reason, you can't be transparent with him, or want to leave the marriage because you don't want to be owned, and you don't want your salary to be owned, and you need your money to start a new life for yourself and your child....
Open a second account, have your salary sent there instead, and keep this new account card hidden. Give him the PIN for the account he holds the card for, which is to have very little money in it. Keep feeding the new account, stop buying things for the flat.

Kekereekun123:
Men are no longer fools. Times are hard you cannot hide salary and finance details from your husband. Thunder fire ladies who say my money is my money and his money is ours

Lazy men! Then be ready to be equal

Your husband doesn't own you nor your salary.

However, your husband has the right to know how much you are bringing in on a monthly basis. This will help you guyz plan well based on both of your income.

I think it's a slap in the face of your husband to make your child your next of kin while your husband is still alive. How would you feel if he does the same to you?

I don't want to jump into conclusion, but I feel you don't love your husband, because if you do, disclosing how much you make will not be an issue, unless your husband is irresponsible and jobless.

I will suggest you discuss with a marital counselor in church if you have one. Is he earning less than you ? Marriage does not mean you loose your independence or you don't have a right to your resources. You're expected to plan your finances together. He may be wondering if you're receiving money from unusual sources. The idea of seizing your card is not fair, he should not force things on you. How long were you in courtship before marriage? For peace to reign, pls let him know your income & discuss your savings plans & financial goals. But I will not subscribe to the idea of him taking over your finances. Finally, please thread with caution.

boxer022:
Before I proceed with my advice I have few questions to ask. Does he work or do business? If he works then it leads to another question which is; are you earning more money than him? If he does business, is it making money for him or your salary surpasses what he usually gets? If in both of these questions, the answer is that he makes more than you then open up to him concerning your finances. If on the other hand you earn more money than him then it is either he has contentment issues or he just needs to know what your monthly income is. On the statement that he owns you, the only thing I will say is that he paid your bride price so as to make you complete him as no man is complete without his better half and also vice versa. He didn't buy you from your parents as a tool or equipment or slave.

U are right my dear some men think they owned their wives after getting married to them without knowing they complete them. Just tell him your salary. it's too early demanding for your ATM pin number. He can only know it when there is financial challenges for him asking for your assistance.

boxer022:
Before I proceed with my advice I have few questions to ask. Does he work or do business? If he works then it leads to another question which is; are you earning more money than him? If he does business, is it making money for him or your salary surpasses what he usually gets? If in both of these questions, the answer is that he makes more than you then open up to him concerning your finances. If on the other hand you earn more money than him then it is either he has contentment issues or he just needs to know what your monthly income is. On the statement that he owns you, the only thing I will say is that he paid your bride price so as to make you complete him as no man is complete without his better half and also vice versa. He didn't buy you from your parents as a tool or equipment or slave.

U are right my dear some men think they owned their wives after getting married to them without knowing they complete them. Just tell him your salary. it's too early demanding for your ATM pin number. He can only know it when there is financial challenges for him asking for your assistance.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

Tell him your salary
Gen 2:24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
You stated that you renovated your apartment, who pays for the apartment? I believe it's him.
Your money belongs to him and his money belongs to you. Secrecy will only bring disunity.

You are only selfish and stingy.

StubbornGENIUS:
First off,OP indicate where you copied this story from cos you just changed your gender from M to F.

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

chai why did marry you marry a gold digger nah, that man can kill you at night when sleeping. Why is he so concerned about ur salary is he the one doing d job

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

I have a friend who lost his job due to downsizing of the company he works for 3years ago. His wife has been the one catering for the family ever since, through the money she makes from a small provisions store she was running even before marriage. The funny thing is, you will never know, the husband has access to her ATM and banking app, she even pulled her resources together and bought him a car in February as a Valentine's day gift to use for taxi services. I only know this because I'm really close to the family.
There should be no secrets in marriage, else that family will fail, because if you can hide your finances from your husband, what else can't you hide?

My prayer is God should keep women like you far from me when I'm finally ready to get married.

Point of correction.. He owns her and everything she has because he bought her....simple fact.. She for no marry, she for b feminist........

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

StubbornGENIUS:
First off,OP indicate where you copied this story from cos you just changed your gender from M to F.

aeion:
He doesn't have the right to take your ATM card away from you nor demand your PIN. If he needs money, I'm sure he knows how to ask but forcefully having direct access to your money at his choosing should be a no-no. If he's threatening you over this, tell your family and get yourself and the baby in your belly to a safe place, but do not give him that PIN. A man who behaves like this is up to no good and can't be trusted.



These are the words of a controlling, abusive man. He does not own you, neither does he own your salary.

Na dem be dis ...... home destroyers

jeff1607:
And you call him your husband and I guess you know about his finance as well.

just wondering o, since you are from the Igbo extraction going by your name, when he was given the list and made to pay all the stuff in it, why wasn't he stopped or prevented.

Finances of both individuals should be open , so you guys can plan . But you Ladies sha, can put a child before the man that married you.

I guess she only married the man to run away from spinsterhood and probably making of babies... nonsense

chiddyok:
And so we marry people we don’t trust with our finances because we must marry. And you need to see where married women are putting down unmarried ones, as if they were born married.
Madam, cancel your atm card and don’t bother with a new one. Bring one or two relatives around or let him know you are responsible for them. Inflate what you spend on them and save the rest in another account. And think very hard of the future of your marriage. I don’t know how you people share bed with someone you can’t share your purse with.
And nobody should quote me and ask me if I’m married and when I marry I’ll understand. I’m not, because I didn’t ask anyone to feed me so I can’t feed anyone’s son.

Na dem be dis.... home destroyers

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

first off madam I don't care who you are whether male or female the only thing I'm going to tell you is this, you married not only an insecure man but a gold digger as well please do this for me go open another account do not request for an ATM card then go to your savings account transfer 70% of the money in that account to your new account and don't ever request for ATM card then give him the pin of the old accounts and just watch him and see what he does with it that's how you will know the real character of the person you married do not keep any money that you can not let go in the old account

I hope you see this

ACE1010:


Na dem be dis.... home destroyers

Na dem be this, irresponsible, idle men who want you to submit your salary when your father that sent you to school will never. Oga shift to one side.

Blackmann001:


"dumb"... Watch it.. Trust me, U can never win in this direction of insults....dont go this road with me

If you like, call me whatever. Doesn’t change the fact that you either didn’t read through or you didn’t comprehend.
And the insult, no dey pass LovePeddler, old bitch, ugly ass, fool, lazy youth, ashawo, no manners. Some of you even drag parents into it. So you own your mouth. Doesn’t change the fact that you can’t comprehend.

chiddyok:

If you like, call me whatever. Doesn’t change the fact that you either didn’t read through or you didn’t comprehend.
And the insult, no dey pass LovePeddler, old bitch, ugly ass, fool, lazy youth, ashawo, no manners. Some of you even drag parents into it. So you own your mouth. Doesn’t change the fact that you can’t comprehend.

Grow up..!

chiddyok:
And so we marry people we don’t trust with our finances because we must marry. And you need to see where married women are putting down unmarried ones, as if they were born married.
Madam, cancel your atm card and don’t bother with a new one. Bring one or two relatives around or let him know you are responsible for them. Inflate what you spend on them and save the rest in another account. And think very hard of the future of your marriage. I don’t know how you people share bed with someone you can’t share your purse with.
And nobody should quote me and ask me if I’m married and when I marry I’ll understand. I’m not, because I didn’t ask anyone to feed me so I can’t feed anyone’s son.

In as much you made a valid points but I will not agreed to all ... You are wrong about bringing in relative and about feeding another person son you are totally off there because you are married to that person... And it's going to be selfish of you saying such because as married Couple you are now one and you can't be cooking with different pot... I will suggests she tell him Half or 70% of her income with fake evidence such as documents as her earning and immediately open another account to be saving the remaining one because the true intentions of the man is still unknown....

P.s.

Knowing the financial status of couples are not bad ,just that there's no Trust in the marriage... Let them work on it.

uniqueogo:



first off madam I don't care who you are whether male or female the only thing I'm going to tell you is this, you married not only an insecure man but a gold digger as well please do this for me go open another account do not request for an ATM card then go to your savings account transfer 70% of the money in that account to your new account and don't ever request for ATM card then give him the pin of the old accounts and just watch him and see what he does with it that's how you will know the real character of the person you married do not keep any money that you can not let go in the old account

I hope you see this

Your points are valid... I will suggests she told him about half of what she earn as her monthly income with fake evidence such documents to back it up for him to believe her.... Immediately open another account to transfer most of her saves to tally with the said amount she to him that she earn monthly.... While am advising her to do this is because the man true intentions of her income is unknown yet... There's nothing wrong about couples knowing each income it will make them to plan well about their family and limits unnecessary spending.... But at this case now there's no trust between them so let the woman hide some for the sake of tomorrow and the kids until she's well convinced that her husband will not misuse her funds if she entrust it all with him.