When I was growing up, I was one spoilt young boy. I lived with young people like friends, around the same age range.

I was an addict when it comes to listening to, and watching Nigerian music videos, as in hip hop and all sorts of foreign secular songs. Devil had already taken me to a different level, I graduated from Nigerian secular songs to foreign rap music, where they only preach about sex, substance abuse, clubbing and all sort of negative lifestyles. I could kill for Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj then. For me, I thought I was having fun, little did I know that the devil was depositing alot of negative concepts in my heart through music.

In those music videos, girls with the most curvy hips and flat tummy, those that are dressed almost completely naked (sometimes completely naked) and can dance seductively are those they usually select carefully for the video shoot, so that the attention of the viewers can be retained till the very end of the music videos. Over time, the kind of girls they use in such videos became the picture of a perfect woman for me. Any lady who doesn't look and dress like those ones I normally watched in those video is not beautiful.

I knew there was more to those fine lady dancers than the half way nude I normally see while they danced. My curiosity kept rising by the day, I wanted to know more, I wanted to see everything. I wanted to fill the void in my heart, so I started watching porn.

I saw different kinds of women with different body shapes in porn clips. Daily, I changed the categories of women whose porn videos I would like to watch; tall, short, fat, slim, foreign, local and so on. It got to a point that I started comparing the ladies I see around me to the ones I watch in porn movies. Once the comparison match, she's my idol already.

I wanted a woman that is tall, fair, very curvy, flat tummy, gigantic behind that can twerk and give lap dance, that is good in bed and knows all the sex styles with heavy make up, artificial nails, artificial hair, high heel shoes......as in, the Nicki Minaj kind of woman........I got all of these ideas from the women I saw in porn movies and Nigerian secular music and movies.

Many young people today are still living in that fantasy and delusion of creating a perfect picture of a man they saw somewhere, say a movie, music or those in entertainment industry, some of you are even dating those celebrities and have given birth to three children for them in your minds. Sometimes, when you sleep, you dream about this celebrity crush of yours, kissing, cuddling and making love to you......hmmmm, you better pray that God should deliver you from every spiritual husband.

Listen, those are movies, they are acted.......but your life is a reality. These two are completely different.

Now, let's consider the other side of the discussion, which is AN IDEAL MAN.
An ideal man is one that is divinely ordained to be a person's partner. He is that one person, that will hasten your footsteps to destiny fulfilment, that person that has the same vision and goals as you.

Do you know why your perfect man cannot be your ideal man?

Because you're inspired by flesh to choose your perfect man......you're driven by what you see and what your heart desires, unlike your ideal man that is a complete divine arrangement.

Now, let me break your heart, if you marry your perfect man, read my lips "YOU'RE COMPLETELY FINISHED!" The marriage will not survive because it is built on vague imagination that will not last a year before the reality comes crashing down on you.

But if you marry your ideal man, your life will be sweet till the end of time.

Listen again, YOUR PERFECT MAN CAN NEVER BECOME YOUR IDEAL MAN, BUT GOD CAN MAKE YOUR IDEAL MAN YOUR PERFECT MAN.......read it again, till you understand.

I know some people are now left with a puzzle in their hearts; "Now, how do I know my ideal man?"

Excellent question!

God is the only one that can reveal that to you. So I am telling you categorically that IF YOU CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER ALL BY YOURSELF, YOU WILL CHOOSE THE WRONG GUY BECAUSE YOU WILL CHOOSE THE PERFECT GUY. You need to prayerfully go into a relationship with any man/woman.

Dear sister, that tall, handsome, rich and intelligent guy with 6 packs, "beard gang" and abs, that you admire so much may just be a mere perfect guy.

You need God to inspire you to see your ideal man. Remember that God is a spirit. Spirit and flesh are like light and darkness, they have nothing in common.....that's the reason why your perfect man cannot be your ideal man.

I know some of you have started thinking now "what if God's ideal man is the one with pot belly and bald head?"

Let me use a scripture to answer that:

"Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread?
Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish?
Bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Matthew 7:9‭-‬11 (GNB)

That was Jesus speaking.

Trust God, He loves you more than you love yourself. He knows what is best for you. His choice is best for you.

You see some of those women who are going through hell in their marriages today?...........it is because they married their perfect man.

Let me conclude with this; for you to find your Ideal man, you must let go every picture of perfect man in your heart and turn to God for divine directions. You must submit totally to the will of God. Watch it, don't make that mistake. Forever is too long to suffer.

I wish you guys well. And I pray that God will lead you to the Ideal man that will turn your perfect man in Jesus name.

Nairalandhero:
When I was growing up, I was one spoilt young boy. I lived with young people like friends, around the same age range.

I was an addict when it comes to listening to, and watching Nigerian music videos, as in hip hop and all sorts of foreign secular songs. Devil had already taken me to a different level, I graduated from Nigerian secular songs to foreign rap music, where they only preach about sex, substance abuse, clubbing and all sort of negative lifestyles. I could kill for Lil Wayne and Nicki Minaj then. For me, I thought I was having fun, little did I know that the devil was depositing alot of negative concepts in my heart through music.

In those music videos, girls with the most curvy hips and flat tummy, those that are dressed almost completely naked (sometimes completely naked) and can dance seductively are those they usually select carefully for the video shoot, so that the attention of the viewers can be retained till the very end of the music videos. Over time, the kind of girls they use in such videos became the picture of a perfect woman for me. Any lady who doesn't look and dress like those ones I normally watched in those video is not beautiful.

I knew there was more to those fine lady dancers than the half way nude I normally see while they danced. My curiosity kept rising by the day, I wanted to know more, I wanted to see everything. I wanted to fill the void in my heart, so I started watching porn.

I saw different kinds of women with different body shapes in porn clips. Daily, I changed the categories of women whose porn videos I would like to watch; tall, short, fat, slim, foreign, local and so on. It got to a point that I started comparing the ladies I see around me to the ones I watch in porn movies. Once the comparison match, she's my idol already.

I wanted a woman that is tall, fair, very curvy, flat tummy, gigantic behind that can twerk and give lap dance, that is good in bed and knows all the sex styles with heavy make up, artificial nails, artificial hair, high heel shoes......as in, the Nicki Minaj kind of woman........I got all of these ideas from the women I saw in porn movies and Nigerian secular music and movies.

Many young people today are still living in that fantasy and delusion of creating a perfect picture of a man they saw somewhere, say a movie, music or those in entertainment industry, some of you are even dating those celebrities and have given birth to three children for them in your minds. Sometimes, when you sleep, you dream about this celebrity crush of yours, kissing, cuddling and making love to you......hmmmm, you better pray that God should deliver you from every spiritual husband.

Listen, those are movies, they are acted.......but your life is a reality. These two are completely different.

Now, let's consider the other side of the discussion, which is AN IDEAL MAN.
An ideal man is one that is divinely ordained to be a person's partner. He is that one person, that will hasten your footsteps to destiny fulfilment, that person that has the same vision and goals as you.

Do you know why your perfect man cannot be your ideal man?

Because you're inspired by flesh to choose your perfect man......you're driven by what you see and what your heart desires, unlike your ideal man that is a complete divine arrangement.

Now, let me break your heart, if you marry your perfect man, read my lips "YOU'RE COMPLETELY FINISHED!" The marriage will not survive because it is built on vague imagination that will not last a year before the reality comes crashing down on you.

But if you marry your ideal man, your life will be sweet till the end of time.

Listen again, YOUR PERFECT MAN CAN NEVER BECOME YOUR IDEAL MAN, BUT GOD CAN MAKE YOUR IDEAL MAN YOUR PERFECT MAN.......read it again, till you understand.

I know some people are now left with a puzzle in their hearts; "Now, how do I know my ideal man?"

Excellent question!

God is the only one that can reveal that to you. So I am telling you categorically that IF YOU CHOOSE YOUR PARTNER ALL BY YOURSELF, YOU WILL CHOOSE THE WRONG GUY BECAUSE YOU WILL CHOOSE THE PERFECT GUY. You need to prayerfully go into a relationship with any man/woman.

Dear sister, that tall, handsome, rich and intelligent guy with 6 packs, "beard gang" and abs, that you admire so much may just be a mere perfect guy.

You need God to inspire you to see your ideal man. Remember that God is a spirit. Spirit and flesh are like light and darkness, they have nothing in common.....that's the reason why your perfect man cannot be your ideal man.

I know some of you have started thinking now "what if God's ideal man is the one with pot belly and bald head?"

Let me use a scripture to answer that:

"Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread?
Or would you give him a snake when he asks for a fish?
Bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!"

Matthew 7:9‭-‬11 (GNB)

That was Jesus speaking.

Trust God, He loves you more than you love yourself. He knows what is best for you. His choice is best for you.

You see some of those women who are going through hell in their marriages today?...........it is because they married their perfect man.

Let me conclude with this; for you to find your Ideal man, you must let go every picture of perfect man in your heart and turn to God for divine directions. You must submit totally to the will of God. Watch it, don't make that mistake. Forever is too long to suffer.

I wish you guys well. And I pray that God will lead you to the Ideal man that will turn your perfect man in Jesus name.

h

To be honest, this is the best advice I've ever read on nairaland. Because majority of Nigerian youths are living based on these imaginations. some even go to the extent of masturbating to their online female idols which I think it's been affecting them negativily.

I love the writeup

So true but not sure a lot of people will listen. BTW best post I have seen this week

Thumbs up bro

It's good your path to destruction was halted by the mercies of God..

Many young guys are living with identity crisis reason why they only believe what they see and conclude it's the best for them not knowing it's a passage to confusion and death..

Thank God you're redeemed by the blood.