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Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by ibkayee(f): 1:15am On Jun 28, 2020
Plead:

How? They’d start collecting 2m instead of #100-5k for bride price? grin

Lol is this a set figure? Can't people go over this amount?
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 1:22am On Jun 28, 2020
ibkayee:

Lol is this a set figure? Can't people go over this amount?
I’ve not seen anywhere bride price is more than 5k.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by ibkayee(f): 1:23am On Jun 28, 2020
Elder0001:

I’ve not seen anywhere bride price is more than 5k.
Ok fair enough
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by cooooooks(m): 2:26am On Jun 28, 2020
I no dey do bride price she marriage list. I don't understand it and cannot condone it.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by blank(f): 2:32am On Jun 28, 2020
That marriage list is really stupid. The bad part is if your dad used to collect a share from others, when it's his daughter's turn, he can't refuse.

That's why I love my dad. He never collected from others and refused any stupid list. The only thing he asked of was to buy the goat for the umunna due to its significance. That marriage list is meant to be used in the marriage feast not as a poverty alleviation program.

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Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by OiOi: 5:58am On Jun 28, 2020
jboixxx:

As regards husbands that beat up their wives, they're simply irresponsible and shouldn't be called husbands but animals. No religion or tradition supports such a cowardice habit Parents need to take care of their wards and instil religious and societal acceptable values in them right from childhood.
I think you have not heard about Islam
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jboixxx: 7:40am On Jun 28, 2020
OiOi:
I think you have not heard about Islam
Tell me what I don't know about Islam, please, as it relates to wife battering, especially where it was preached or propagated.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 8:56am On Jun 28, 2020
blank:
That marriage list is really stupid. The bad part is if your dad used to collect a share from others, when it's his daughter's turn, he can't refuse.

That's why I love my dad. He never collected from others and refused any stupid list. The only thing he asked of was to buy the goat for the umunna due to its significance. That marriage list is meant to be used in the marriage feast not as a poverty alleviation program.


Exactly. Bride price can be left alone but marriage list should be scraped,there’s nothing symbolic about it.
Many people know this but greed and hunger won’t allow them do the needful.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 8:56am On Jun 28, 2020
jboixxx:
Tell me what I don't know about Islam, please, as it relates to wife battering, especially where it was preached or propagated.
cheesy
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 12:18pm On Jun 28, 2020
missimelda01:
Bride price is symbolic and should not be scrapped. Marriage list depends on how greedy a family is, I think it should be scrapped... Or maybe made optional.

Btw,they aren’t really compulsory. It depends on the family.
A father can decide not to collect bride price or give marriage list to his daughter’s suitor and nothing will happen.

2 Likes

Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by ZIMDRILL(m): 3:21pm On Jun 28, 2020
jboixxx:
Cuz it's "Africans "way of life! It'll take a while even if there's revolution against it. There's no marriage in Nigeria without those lists except the union is not backed by either or both families. Even if it's just a Kola, it'll be requested as bride list.

You nailed

if you havent travelled and lived outside your norm eg live outside Africa vision of life is only based on what environment

In some european culture the father of bride pays for part of the wedding eg pay for the venue but you have never heard western people moaning to say traditional wedding duties of bride's father should be scrapped


From with african people we want to be rich via daughter we charge things that we can not afford

The funny part is, as a son -in - law you cry of how much you were asked to pay but years to come you also make the greedness you charge your own son - in-law ridiculous prices/list


So as Africans we are fools as we pay for marriage twice, traditional and civil/religion

All those weddings it is the groom foots the bill

So techinically you start life in a minus

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Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by selfdefence: 4:46pm On Jun 28, 2020
Plead:
Lately a lot of people have been calling for the scrapping of bride price because it makes women look like properties to be bought and sold while this is correct I don’t agree with the other reason. The other reason is men see their wives are inferiors and treat them like trash because they paid bride price.

How much is bride price? Within 20naira - 5000. Why will any man treat his wife like trash because of that amount?doesn’t make sense.
I believe the male folks who treat their wives like that because with the excuse that they paid bride price are mistaking bride price for marriage list.
Why won’t a man feel like you’re his property after your folks have given him a list of 2m+ before they’ll endorse your marriage?
Why pay to marry a fellow human being like you?
The real culprit is the marriage list not the bride price itself.


Some folks argue that bride price is symbolic hence it shouldn’t be scrapped, what about marriage list? What is symbolic about marriage list?
culture is culture and it should be respected.

A man's attitude towards his spouse is not dependent on the amount paid as either bride price or marriage list, it's dependent on the type of man himself. A man that will treat his wife bad bcoz he feels he bought his wife for 1 million naira will still treat his wife bad even if he spent just 1 naira, it's not about the price paid or spent but the person. There are men who used millions to marry their wives and the wives have been treated like queens everyday.

Be it marriage list or bride price, it all depends on how you see or value it, someone will happily pay a lot of money to marry a girl just to show how valuable she is to him while the other will frown at it cos he feels he's not buying her after all, it all depends on person.

3 Likes

Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 12:00am On Jun 29, 2020
selfdefence:
culture is culture and it should be respected.

A man's attitude towards his spouse is not dependent on the amount paid as either bride price or marriage list, it's dependent on the type of man himself. A man that will treat his wife bad bcoz he feels he bought his wife for 1 million naira will still treat his wife bad even if he spent just 1 naira, it's not about the price paid or spent but the person. There are men who used millions to marry their wives and the wives have been treated like queens everyday.

Be it marriage list or bride price, it all depends on how you see or value it, someone will happily pay a lot of money to marry a girl just to show how valuable she is to him while the other will frown at it cos he feels he's not buying her after all, it all depends on person.
“Culture is culture and should be respected”
Do you realize killing of twins was once a culture in this country? Why was it stopped? It should’ve been respected.

Some traditions are outdated and shouldn’t be practiced in this modern era,marriage list and bride price are among them.

I wonder why it is even called bride “price” ,the price attached to the bride makes it look like she’s being sold or she’s some form of trophy or stuff like that.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jboixxx: 7:15am On Jun 29, 2020
Plead:

“Culture is culture and should be respected”
Do you realize killing of twins was once a culture in this country? Why was it stopped? It should’ve been respected.

Some traditions are outdated and shouldn’t be practiced in this modern era,marriage list and bride price are among them.

I wonder why it is even called bride “price” ,the price attached to the bride makes it look like she’s being sold or she’s some form of trophy or stuff like that.
Some traditions would eventually be scrapped, if these would be is what I don't know but probably by individual families sha.

In Islam, dowry (bride price) is a necessity that must be fulfilled to a bride; an agreed valued item/money between about-to-be couples. Here's a verse from Holy Qur'an 4:4 : And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease. Without such process, a man doesn't have sexual right over a lady. So, it is a religious activity to some and such activity either as tradition or not, is not peculiar to Nigeria only.

Some things can't be scrapped but can be tweaked to reflect the current happenings or for a better society.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Lamanii22(f): 9:09am On Jun 29, 2020
Righteousness89:
The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you!


What if one doesn't hear from God nko?
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 9:31am On Jun 29, 2020
jboixxx:
Some traditions would eventually be scrapped, if these would be is what I don't know but probably by individual families sha.

In Islam, dowry (bride price) is a necessity that must be fulfilled to a bride; an agreed valued item/money between about-to-be couples. Here's a verse from Holy Qur'an 4:4 : And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously. But if they give up willingly to you anything of it, then take it in satisfaction and ease.[/b] Without such process, a man doesn't have sexual right over a lady. So, it is a religious activity to some and such activity either as tradition or not, is not peculiar to Nigeria only.

Some things can't be scrapped but can be tweaked to reflect the current happenings or for a better society.

I guess so.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Fidelismaria: 9:50am On Jun 29, 2020














Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by ABOVEDELAW: 10:33am On Jun 29, 2020
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT, NO MAN OR WOMAN IS DIVINELY ORDAINED FOR EACH OTHER.
Righteousness89:
The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you!
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jeff1607(m): 11:54am On Jun 29, 2020
CAPSLOCKED:


THE ASPECT OF MEN SEEING WOMEN AS PROPERTY IS JUST A PATRIARCHY THING, BRIDE PRICE IS JUST AN EXCUSE TO ENFORCE IT.
WHERE WOMEN PAY DOWRY IN ASIA THEY'RE STILL TREATED LIKE SCRAP OBJECTS.
HERE, IN RELATIONSHIPS ALONE BOYFRIENDS BEHAVE LIKE THEY OWN THEIR GIRLFRIENDS. SOME WILL EVEN GO AHEAD TO ASSUME AUTHORITY OVER MERE FEMALE FRIENDS AND RANDOM GIRLS THEY MEET JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE MEN.

TO THE TOPIC, I DON'T THINK LIST AND BRIDE PRICE WILL BE SCRAPPED SOON. OUR PEOPLE ARE GREEDY AND HUNGRY. THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU AND THE BRIDE, THEY JUST WANT TO GAIN FROM HER SALES, BOTH BEFORE THE WEDDING AND THROUGHOUT ALL THE YEARS SHE'D BE MARRIED TO YOU.



What do you say in a situation whereby the bride's family finances the wedding and yet husband treats her like crap or worse dies by his hands?
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jboixxx: 1:57pm On Jun 29, 2020
jeff1607:




What do you say in a situation whereby the bride's family finances the wedding and yet husband treats her like crap or worse dies by his hands?
Help ask o. SPOUSE bartering has nothing to do with bride/groom price but individual societal factor/influence.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jeff1607(m): 3:17pm On Jun 29, 2020
jboixxx:
Help ask o. SPOUSE bartering has nothing to do with bride/groom price but individual societal factor/influence.


do you have 1Tb external with casing?
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jboixxx: 3:24pm On Jun 29, 2020
jeff1607:



do you have 1Tb external with casing?
by casing, you're referring to pouch? I have only 1TB but no pouch.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jeff1607(m): 3:26pm On Jun 29, 2020
jboixxx:
by casing, you're referring to pouch? I have only 1TB but no pouch.

yes sir, the pouch , something like what transcend use to cushion the effect from shock, rubber like
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by jboixxx: 3:40pm On Jun 29, 2020
jeff1607:


yes sir, the pouch , something like what transcend use to cushion the effect from shock, rubber like
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by frozen70(f): 10:07pm On Jun 29, 2020
Marriage list has always been the issue not bride price
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Nobody: 11:12pm On Jun 29, 2020
frozen70:
Marriage list has always been the issue not bride price
Perhaps.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by Twenty8: 6:11am On Jun 30, 2020
Righteousness89:
The Worst thing that could happen in marriage is Getting married to a person that is not Divinely Ordained for you!

Many men and Women have deserted their homes just for this..

This is the Main foundation of any Home...

The money you spend on your Marriage does not equate the happiness you will get...

The number of of people that celebrate you does not equate the degree of joy in your Home..

The publicity stunts and social media attraction your Marriage get does not equate the happiness..

Pls don't just say I do! Be Divinely led Befor you say I do..

God Almighty the Creator of the institution of Marriage, is not Committed to where he didn't send you!
It good that you want to preach, but please do it in a less annoying way by basing it on the topic. We all know bride price/marriage is not parallel to a happy marriage.
Re: Bride Price Or Marriage List:which Is Worse? by selfdefence: 4:10pm On Jun 30, 2020
Plead:

“Culture is culture and should be respected”
Do you realize killing of twins was once a culture in this country? Why was it stopped? It should’ve been respected.

Some traditions are outdated and shouldn’t be practiced in this modern era,marriage list and bride price are among them.

I wonder why it is even called bride “price” ,the price attached to the bride makes it look like she’s being sold or she’s some form of trophy or stuff like that.
“Culture is culture and should be respected”. Yes but definitely not all cultures, i will never be in support of the killing of twins but i see nothing wrong in pride price or dowry, forget the name, the idea behind it is what matters the most, a wife is something of value and to get one must have a price, nobody is selling anybody, its not slave trade, its marriage, one that was asked for by man to the woman, and she willingly agrees. So if you believe your a wife is something of value, Pay for it, you are not buying a property and thats why some cultures tell you that you can never finish payment of a price on their daughters head, the idea is you are paying a price not buying anything.

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