*It is important that while we ask women and girls to speak up, we are always ready to listen and help - Medplus MD, Joke Bakare*
 
The recent news making the rounds concerning the rape, assault, molestation, and murder of young Nigerian women as young as nine years old is overwhelming for any woman. Uwa, Tina, Jennifer, Barakat represent the limits that exist around women and the restrictions we must place on ourselves just to be considered worthy of humanity.
 
As a woman, a mother to a daughter, a daughter, a friend to other women, a human being and a concerned member of society; I am tired of the unthinkable ordeals women have had to endure for either going to read in a church, paying a friendly visit,  saying NO or simply existing.  This news has hit home in a very deep way and we cannot continue to endure this injustice.
 
It is high time to focus our energy, resources, and passion, on this extremely harmful societal strain embedded in entitled men who refuse to see women as whole beings deserving of respect and agency. Men who refuse to take NO for an answer because they have been taught to take without considering the consequences of their actions on whomever they take from. We must actively begin to build the ideology of shifting the blame away from women and to transfer it, without reserve, on the people who have harmed them.
 
Rape, sexual assault ranks high as some of the prevalent issues plaguing not only the Nigerian socio-cultural space but the entire African continent. The system is so designed to discriminate against women in ways that recommend little to no strenuous punishments for rapists and sex offenders. And this is something that needs to be fixed. Quickly.
 
Policies, laws, and legislation that grant women speedy, fair justice and support must be put in place. Systems that continue to hold women to insane standards of purity to be able to have their stories believed, must be dismantled and scrapped altogether.
 
It is important that while we ask women and girls to speak up, we are also ready to listen. We must assure them, that if they have their bodies or freedoms violated, they will be believed, they will find support, kindness, help, possible healing, and most importantly, the perpetrator would be brought to book. And we don’t have to look too far for these systems of support. We, neighbors, siblings, brothers, parents, friends can kick start that system. We can begin by standing by and reassuring our female friends, colleagues, sisters, flat mates, fellow students, or even a stranger who come to share their experience with us.
 
And as a parent, I am calling on other parents to join hands together and start raising better, kinder, sensitive, respectful, and compassionate boys. We must teach our boy-children to see women as equal and deserving of the same respect as they would give their male counterparts. We must teach our boys to stop seeing women as commodities they are entitled to. We must raise responsible boys who can look past their egos and learn to take no in good stride. To actively curb this deplorable trend of rape we must take it upon ourselves to raise boys who have a heart.
 
Once again, we can go beyond just saying ‘No’ to rape and rape culture by taking active steps to be there for rape survivors. We can lend our voice to calling for a system that favors survivors and appropriately punishes their perpetrators. We can donate to organizations that work actively to assist survivors, and we must never stop holding perpetrators accountable and.
 
Today, go beyond saying ‘NO’ and do see if you can do something that would ensure we never have to say  ‘NO’ to rape campaigns in the nearest future.

stevmatt15:
Say NO to Rape
Say YES to Justice

Ashaka66:


What about those wrongfully accused

Qtsnow:

https://ynaija.com/it-is-important-that-while-we-ask-women-and-girls-to-speak-up-we-are-always-ready-to-listen-and-help-medplus-md-joke-bakare/

OnyeObodo:
Madam shut up jare

Queenslander:
Is it you who should shut up!!

watchinggale:
guys, haven't you all noticed this rape cases keeps increasing, Say NO to Rape

OnyeObodo:
Madam shut up jare

As you have decided to raise simps that will see women as "valuables" and not as commodities, I do hope you also raise girls that see men as equals in financial expenditures and not as ATMS.

Because it wouldn't make sense to brainwash a boy child to become a societal walkover for girls but ignore same girls that see men as thrash they can use and dump anyhow.

Who will speak up for all the men being abused in their homes right now?

By the way, I find it quite hypocritical that some people come online to start forming philanthropists and compassionate souls.

Madam within your estate in Lagos, there are so many young girls being abused daily. There are so many young girls out of school and being used as house helps. What have you done about them to make sure they are not exposed to the ills of rape and molestation?

OnyeObodo:


Lol. I have gone through your profile and I know you are a man claiming to be a lady.

You can only deceive same simp men being spoken about here with that your tolotolo make up and not me the agbogidi of Yorubaland.

You signed up this account a week ago and you follow questionable monikers from xvideos to geebite.

Small Hushpuppi

OnyeObodo:
Madam shut up jare

As you have decided to raise simps that will see women as "valuables" and not as commodities, I do hope you also raise girls that see men as equals in financial expenditures and not as ATMS.

Because it wouldn't make sense to brainwash a boy child to become a societal walkover for girls but ignore same girls that see men as thrash they can use and dump anyhow.

Who will speak up for all the men being abused in their homes right now?

By the way, I find it quite hypocritical that some people come online to start forming philanthropists and compassionate souls.

Madam within your estate in Lagos, there are so many young girls being abused daily. There are so many young girls out of school and being used as house helps. What have you done about them to make sure they are not exposed to the ills of rape and molestation?

post=91390364:

The girl in Jigawa that experienced rape at the hands of 11 men on different occasions; did not do anything wrong. She did not dress in a revealing manner. In fact, she is just a 12-year-old girl. To those people looking for a reason to blame the victim, sorry, she did nothing wrong.

Furthermore, the gruesome rape and murder of Uwaila Omozuwa in a church shows that no place is indeed safe. No one can blame her for being at the wrong place. No one can blame for going to ‘his’ place at night. She was reading in a church. A place of refuge, a place she felt most secured. However, she underestimated the fact that a beast was lurking around. So sad.

The dastardly rape and brutal murder of Uwa has invalidated all claims and views about rape. How could she have prevented what happened?

If her parent had called that day and she told them she was reading in a church; they would have had no reason to be concerned. However, they got the worst news a parent could ever get. ‘Your daughter is dead, raped and killed in a bloody church.’


A girl/woman is constantly vulnerable to rape. As a toddler, she is at risk of rape from people most trusted by her parents. At the risk of family members or relatives raping her. In school, her teacher could be a beast in human form. Even her friend’s or boyfriend’s place is also a dangerous place?

So where is safe for her?

The truth is that a girl/woman should not be in constant fear. Everywhere and every place should be safe for her. She is not responsible for caging those perverts. That’s the job of society.

Maybe all men are potential rapists that need to undergo some sort of therapy. We owe it to our daughters, wives, and mothers to immediately commence a national awareness on rape. Organize therapy sessions to purge traits of rape in everyman.

Because the animals that perpetrate rape are not products of immaculate conception. Indeed, they are born by women, perhaps have female siblings, and maybe even female children (Lord have mercy).

Rape is indeed a pandemic, a never-ending pandemic.
According to a National Survey carried out in 2014 on Violence Against Children in Nigeria; it was confirmed that one in four females reported experiencing sexual violence in childhood; with approximately 70% reporting more than one incident of sexual violence.
In the same study, it was found that 24.8% of females aged 18 to 24 years experienced sexual abuse; prior to age 18 of which 5.0% sought help, with only 3.5% receiving any services.

These statistics are grim enough. Unfortunately, rape is under-reported. People, due to stigmatization don’t want to report rape. We have a justice system that makes reporting rape seems like adding extra burden on the victim. The same police that victims are supposed to report to allegedly raped sex workers with sachet water nylon in Abuja not too long ago.

Even at that, there is a need to have a system that can guarantee justice; for both the accused and the victim without destroying both in the process.

I understand that there is a national outrage in the wake of the sad incident involving Uwa. People are angry. Personally, I am livid. But the anger should be directed at creating a solution. Changing the existing legislation, awareness on rape and most importantly; everyone needs to create that safe environment for girls/women.

If you hear a troubling sound from your neighbour, knock on that door and ask questions. If you see a man or a boy getting too cozy with a little girl; poke your nose in the matter. In fact, your little “amebo” could help prevent rape or molestation.

Parents, take time to talk to your sons and male wards that a girl’s body is her absolute right with her total discretion on whom and when to give. Consent is hers to give and withdraw at will. In fact, she can give at first round and withdraw it at second. More so, she has the right to withdraw such consent in the middle of the action.

Also, parents, you should be your daughters’ confidant. Let her be able to talk to you. Father, sex talk with your daughter is not gross. Let her be able to talk to you.

There is nothing like settling it within the family. If punishing perpetrators of rape would shatter the family, then let it be. If the animal had thought about the family, he would not have done it.

As tempting as it is to talk about rape and molestation of boys also, I will refrain from it. Today is all about girls and women. The only hope would be that we would not have to wait until tragedy strikes again; before raising a voice.

False rape accusation

Creating a rape-free society as elucidated earlier involves getting everyone behind it. Most importantly men, not just because the main transgressors are of our gender. But because the victims are our siblings, mothers and children.

Also, we are vulnerable to false accusations. Creating a better justice system that will guarantee justice for victims in rape cases; will also help people facing false accusations.

This is not just a time for rage. It is a time to work in creating that system which works for all victims. The lack of a reliable system has made people turn to social media for settling or seeking justice on rape-related cases.

However, social media has shown that it is not equipped for the endeavour. As a court of opinion, yes, but a court of justice, no.

It is in everyone’s best interest to create a safe environment for our girls and women. But most importantly, on the rare occasion that some beat the safety net; there should be a place for swift and fair justice.

S.O.

Opexzy:


You sound like a rapist if you think raising a child not to forcefully have sex with someone is tantamount to raising them to be a simp. it's better you desist now because it will never end well for you.

Ashaka66:


What about those wrongfully accused