DonBenny77:
If you do masturbate, stop.

Can you please elaborate on what masturbation has to do with having a low self-esteem? Like, how on Earth do they correlate?

practice yoga, it will change your world

.

Stargurl20:

To be frank. If not for the fear of eternal punishment attached to suicide, I would have done it long... ago. Who am I to withstand Allah's punishment?

This life is just full of ups and downs. To be sincere at times I wish I was never born.

dont say that. U are special. God created u 4 a reason. The more u hate yourself the more miserable your life becomes. All u hav 2 do is believe in yourself

Stargurl20:
I've a very low self esteem, that everytime I'm being scolded about it, I always wish for death.
My low self esteem is killing me, and I feel this lack of confidence of mine, began from childhood when people would criticise my appearance. I hide my face from the world.



Something happened today that made my mum opened up to me that she isn't happy with me. We attended an event( more like a compulsory one for me otherwise I would have avoid going), and I hid in a coner throughout the party that the entire family was wondering the kind of person I'm. I know some thought I'm arrogant which is wrong.

I've cried severally today, that I wish for death....
I'm just a very young lady of 21year old.
This lack of self confidence also makes me avoid guys.

Self esteem comes from knowing you are a masterpiece created by the master himself.

God loves you and you are enough. Stop hiding - you will make mistakes so what.

Read psalm 23 and let the words sink in.

Alooone:
Are u fat?

I don't think it's always about physique, all the fat people I know are confident and domineering.
They rock their bodies elegantly.

Stargurl20:

To be frank. If not for the fear of eternal punishment attached to suicide, I would have done it long... ago. Who am I to withstand Allah's punishment?

This life is just full of ups and downs. To be sincere at times I wish I was never born.

You should do things that make you happy, put yourself first before others.
The life out there is rugged and you need to be rugged to live here in here.
Take a clue from the cyberspace, there are some people that are out to bully you, the way you respond to them will make either continue or stop, apply that in your real life too, everything will fall in place.

If you can see a psychologist, try and do that too, it helps.

Stargurl20:

Can you please elaborate on what masturbation has to do with having a low self-esteem? Like, how on Earth do they correlate?

Please use google, I don't wanna share personal experience to a stranger

Damn what people think! Allow yourself time and you'd either get to know and accept yourself or confirm more to what people would like for you to be - the former is better IMHO.

There's nothing wrong with you about not liking social events, such as parties. I don't and often stand out as a sore finger, even though I am way older than you! I attend only events that are compulsory. It's my life.

The truth is that not everyone is cut for the small talk some people make at parties. You better have something sensible to say or you shut it, except we're close.

I can only advise that you try to work on your confidence if there's any problem in that area. It's a gradual process, though. Once you find or understand yourself, things can start to fall into place.

I'm happy to learn you aren't really considering suicide seriously. Please don't. There are those of us who still want you around.

Stargurl20:

I'm tall, not so dark skinned or lets say chocolate. I think that's all I can describe about my physical features.

.....babe u need to seriously come out of ur shell
U r even tall
Are u sure is not spiritual.....
I used to be a very shy gal ooo
But now..... M getting along with ppl now very well
U need to buckle up
Being an introvert is not bad m one self
But it shouldn't be too extreme

Stargurl20:

No. I'm very tall... And people talk and stare at me that I feel like shrinking at times

You are beautiful...what then seems to be your problem

Stargurl20:


I wouldn't describe my self as the complete reticent type.....because I talk with few friends and course mates at sch. I just don't go out or have friends at home....If I'm not indoor, then I'm at my mum's shop.

Do you know how to sing??..

Low self esteem is what everybody has gone tru @ a stage in life. Those celebrity we see and wish we were like them also had wish they were better than they are.....and d circle goes on and on.
My advice for u is ds:
1. U need to accept urself.No one can be like u and don't try to be someone else. When u already accept ursef, if anyone uses ur flaw to abuse you, then its no more a NEWS( u tell d person)
2. Surround ursef with positive minded people. This is what is working for me. I av distance myself from people that usually put me down with their yeye talk, I have even bared a lot of nos from reaching me; some family members and friends that believe they can demoralize me wt their words, I don't even keep in touch wt them again.
3. Develop the good things u like abt ur self and accept those ones u know u can't change.
NOTE THAT........
*Ur self esteem should NEVER be wrapped up in someone's acceptance*

improve your physical appearance if it's lacking dress sense smell and the rest.never see yourself as an underdog learn to talk more with people

anayolity:


Do you know how to sing??..

No.

Alooone:

You are beautiful...what then seems to be your problem

It's not what you think. They stare at me and talk about my height .

Phenomenal16:
.....babe u need to seriously come out of ur shell
U r even tall
Are u sure is not spiritual.....
I used to be a very shy gal ooo
But now..... M getting along with ppl now very well
U need to buckle up
Being an introvert is not bad m one self
But it shouldn't be too extreme

I don't even know.... I'm fed up. I'm so.... Glad, cos so far...., you guys comments have been soothing to me.

Stargurl20:

Negative words being said about me since I was a child.


I was really bullied as a child not just by my peers alone, but also the adults

Where did the negative words stem from?

A disability/weakness or general negative words?

You don't need to be explicit.

bukatyne:


Where did the negative words stem from?

A disability/weakness or general negative words?

You don't need to be explicit.

Maybe from somebody she looked up to like parents or siblings. Nothing erodes self confidence like when your parents tell you that u are not good, bright, smart enough or when they compare you with others. It kills.
Or when u show preferential treatment. Damn!

bukatyne:


Where did the negative words stem from?

A disability/weakness or general negative words?

You don't need to be explicit.

I have no disability. Alhamdullilah. But you know no one is perfect....so people say things

sassysure:

Maybe from somebody she looked up to like parents or siblings. Nothing erodes self confidence like when your parents tell you that u are not good, bright, smart enough or when they compare you with others. It kills.
Or when u show preferential treatment. Damn!

Hm...you spoke exactly what's happening with me. Although, my parents doesn't critise me, but some people who're close say things... including outsiders. it was worse when I was a child.


Now I believe one of the prominent psychologist- Sigmund Freud psychoanalytic theory. That our personality develop at little age ( specifically age 5). Whatever are been done or thought to us are what we grow up with at this particular age- what we grow up believing.

Me being bullied has been drastically reduced compared to when I was younger, to be honest. However, I still hold the belief and it hard letting it go...... it's really affecting my life.

Stargurl20:

I have no disability. Alhamdullilah. But you know no one is perfect....so people say things

What are your strenghts?

sassysure:

Maybe from somebody she looked up to like parents or siblings. Nothing erodes self confidence like when your parents tell you that u are not good, bright, smart enough or when they compare you with others. It kills.
Or when u show preferential treatment. Damn!

We need to learn how to criticize people positively and use the carrot/stick approach on this side of the planet.

That comparison can kill and usually births jealousy and lack of contentment.

Stargurl20:

It's not what you think. They stare at me and talk about my height .

They don't "talk" about your height as you imagine, rather they "admire" your height... You should be proud of your self...
BTW.. How tall are you?

My sister..
U don't lack self confidence..
U r jux an INTROVERT..
read dat up and you get to understand yourself better..

Stargurl20:
I've a very low self esteem, that everytime I'm being scolded about it, I always wish for death.
My low self esteem is killing me, and I feel this lack of confidence of mine, began from childhood when people would criticise my appearance. I hide my face from the world.



Something happened today that made my mum opened up to me that she isn't happy with me. We attended an event( more like a compulsory one for me otherwise I would have avoid going), and I hid in a coner throughout the party that the entire family was wondering the kind of person I'm. I know some thought I'm arrogant which is wrong.

I've cried severally today, that I wish for death....
I'm just a very young lady of 21year old.
This lack of self confidence also makes me avoid guys.

Stargurl20:

I have no disability. Alhamdullilah. But you know no one is perfect....so people say things

the world is not for the weak, even if you are weak don't present yourself weak. Negative comments from childhood turns you out to this, but turn them to positive comments, speak positive words to yourself, when they hurt you with negative words look them eye ball to eye ball and say positive words for yourself.

Committing suicide is the height of weakness it shows cowardice, and no coward inherit the kingdom of God. The righteous are as bold as a lion, we are not given the spirit of fear/timidly = cowardice but of power = brave, love and sound mind says the good book.

You may also try to dress up and pick a close friend. Physical close friends (female) not all these yahoo boys on nairaland o. Take care.

Stargurl20:

Negative words being said about me since I was a child.


I was really bullied as a child not just by my peers alone, but also the adults

yea yea peers, adults bullied you sometime ago then u withdrew and lost your self esteem as a child this is not bad. As an adult ask yourself this question what did they see in me that made them bully me People dont throw sticks to a fruitless tree. That means there is something good you have that they would want to have but could not. So as an adult now are you going to live your life cowering all over the earth looking over your shoulders always as if you are in a strange land afraid of making mistakes. Life is short and interesting. How do you wanna live yours? short, boring and uninteresting? The earlier you fix this aspect of your life the better cos you will end up getting to known and regretting how wasteful you are with your time caring about what people think of you. May Allah ease your affairs aameen

young gal like u that all guys are dying to have saying low self-esteem
I THINK YOUR PROBLEM COULD BE PRIDE or even shy girls feel good with guys

Stargurl20:
I've a very low self esteem, that everytime I'm being scolded about it, I always wish for death.
My low self esteem is killing me, and I feel this lack of confidence of mine, began from childhood when people would criticise my appearance. I hide my face from the world.



Something happened today that made my mum opened up to me that she isn't happy with me. We attended an event( more like a compulsory one for me otherwise I would have avoid going), and I hid in a coner throughout the party that the entire family was wondering the kind of person I'm. I know some thought I'm arrogant which is wrong.

I've cried severally today, that I wish for death....
I'm just a very young lady of 21year old.
This lack of self confidence also makes me avoid guys.

You think you have it bad?

This guy can only move his face...7 life lessons from a guy who can't move anything but his face: https://unstoppable.me/life-lessons/

There's a book that will help you a lot in this regard. The title is Psycho-Cybernetics.

It's about self-esteem and self-image.

You can download it for free on libgen.is

You'll find epubs a joy to read, as opposed to PDFs (especially on your phone).

If you use an iPhone, it'll open with iBooks. If you're on Android, just install an app called Lithium, it's an epub reader.

Stargurl20:
I've a very low self esteem, that everytime I'm being scolded about it, I always wish for death.
My low self esteem is killing me, and I feel this lack of confidence of mine, began from childhood when people would criticise my appearance. I hide my face from the world.



Something happened today that made my mum opened up to me that she isn't happy with me. We attended an event( more like a compulsory one for me otherwise I would have avoid going), and I hid in a coner throughout the party that the entire family was wondering the kind of person I'm. I know some thought I'm arrogant which is wrong.

I've cried severally today, that I wish for death....
I'm just a very young lady of 21year old.
This lack of self confidence also makes me avoid guys.

It's cus u re still young..........
don't worry, situation of life will strengthen u wen u re coming of ages.

Stargurl20:

It's not what you think. They stare at me and talk about my height .

hahahahaha...you really cracked me up.
and so?what if they talk and laugh bout ya height?
you can't stop people from making comments about you.that's how we human beings are.
and for the fact that people talk about you doesn't necessarily mean they hate,care or like you.u get it?it's just in our nature to talk.
so it's now depends on your own self.you have accept yourself for who you are.
Lol..you still seem like a young girl tho who hadn't really experienced life in full stretch.
you know what? everybody get their own headache wey dem dey nurse in their closets.u understand?

Stand up.nothing is wrong with you abeg.

Thanks, everyone. For your soothing advice. I will heed to them, and try to improve myself.