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Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? - Family - Nairaland

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Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Twenty8: 7:29am On Jul 08, 2020
Is the white gown, the fancy tuxedo, the large crowd necessary, ever since I was born, I have witnessed this extravagant and loud wedding style being performed after the traditional wedding. After the traditional wedding people go home and come back for this loud wedding at the church, and then spend a lot on a huge reception, so i have questions in my mind about this wedding.
1) Is it a must?
2) Can't the church just bless the traditional wedding instead and everybody go home?
3) Is it more important than the traditional wedding?
4) Isn't the marriage complete if the couple hold just the traditional wedding?
5) Can't they sign the papers at the traditional wedding?
6) Can't everything end with our own traditional wedding style?
7) Does something bad happens if the white wedding is not held?
8} What do women think of not holding the white wedding?
10) What do men think of not holding the white wedding?
11) Is it true that the white wedding is a European culture and not our own?
11) If the church were to disagree on a couple not doing the white wedding, should the traditional wedding be held without them?

I have a lot of questions but I can't finish them because of time.

2 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by donbachi(m): 7:38am On Jul 08, 2020
Every thing wey we learn from Europeans..we dey over do am pass dem...even the uninvited go come.

we go do traditional marriage,do court,come do white wedding join am.
The name "white wedding" is enough to tell where its coming from.
Not really a must.just dat she will choke u into doing it.

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Homeboiy: 7:46am On Jul 08, 2020
No

I won't do that shiit

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Nbote(m): 7:55am On Jul 08, 2020
The white wedding is jus a way of making ur marriage formal... What ppl do these days to save cost is to have the white wedding take place in d church and den d traditional marriage follows as d reception..

2 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 8:13am On Jul 08, 2020
Twenty8:
Is the white gown, the fancy tuxedo, the large crowd necessary, ever since I was born, I have witnessed this extravagant and loud wedding style being performed after the traditional wedding. After the traditional wedding people go home and come back for this loud wedding at the church, and then spend a lot on a huge reception, so i have questions in my mind about this wedding.
1) Is it a must?

No, it is not a MUST.


2) Can't the church just bless the traditional wedding instead and everybody go home?

You're the church, you can bless your own marriage. You can also talk to your pastor to come and bless your marriage at your chosen location. But make sure you attend a small church to have this done. Adeboye or Oyedepo would not leave Ota to come bless your marriage in your house.


3) Is it more important than the traditional wedding?

The most important thing is that you seek the consent of both parents/families, pay your rites, and back it up with the law.


4) Isn't the marriage complete if the couple hold just the traditional wedding?

Traditional wedding completes a marriage traditionally.


5) Can't they sign the papers at the traditional wedding?

What kind of papers? The only recognized paper is that issued by a recognized/licensed magistrate. Any other paper is technically useless.


6) Can't everything end with our own traditional wedding style?

Answered above


7) Does something bad happens if the white wedding is not held?


Something bad would surely happen if you marry a wrong spouse. For example, a spouse that tells you to avoid white wedding because he or she wants you to stop going to church, praying, serving your God, or abandoning your faith. This may result in clashes and everyday war in your home. So ask yourself, to why are you avoiding the white/church wedding?



8} What do women think of not holding the white wedding?

Is this about wearing a white gown or going to church? I didn't do a church wedding but my wife wore a white gown. What do you want? White that can be worn for the registry or a regular photoshoot or your pastor's blessings/traditional wedding that can be done in your home, just as I had mine in my spouse's family house (of course with any attire or regalia you so desire?)

Who says a woman must wear the wedding gown ONLY to the church, even now that churches are closed?


10) What do men think of not holding the white wedding?

I think NOTHING. I'm a man.


11) Is it true that the white wedding is a European culture and not our own?

Doesn't really matter who owns the culture. European or not, the typical magistrate in Nigeria (including those in the villages) expects the woman to wear a wedding gown for joining.



11) If the church were to disagree on a couple not doing the white wedding, should the traditional wedding be held without them?

What the church expects is that your marriage should be legally binding. Churches work hand in hand with the registry. If your church is licensed by the ministry of interior, then a church may insist you hold your wedding in the church.

However, if your aim of pursuing a traditional wedding is to gain an advantage for an easy exit out of your marriage or marry another woman based on traditional principles, then the church has the right to abandon you and your spouse.

6 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 8:15am On Jul 08, 2020
Nbote:
The white wedding is jus a way of making ur marriage formal... What ppl do these days to save cost is to have the white wedding take place in d church and den d traditional marriage follows as d reception..

No responsible pastor will join you when you haven't done the traditional wedding. Ideally, the traditional wedding precedes the church joining.

There's nothing to join when the bride's parents haven't given out their daughter to the groom.

4 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Nbote(m): 8:20am On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


No responsible pastor will join you when you haven't done the traditional wedding. Ideally, the traditional wedding precedes the church joining.

There's nothing to join when the bride's parents haven't given out their daughter to the groom.

The traditional wedding is simply the completion of traditional rites of marrying the gal.. Considering Brideprice and dowry settlements and other entitlements have already been negotiated and settled with the family..
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 8:24am On Jul 08, 2020
Nbote:


The traditional wedding is simply the completion of traditional rites of marrying the gal.. Considering Brideprice and dowry settlements and other entitlements have already been negotiated and settled with the family..

Ohkay... You're right

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by thorpido(m): 8:38am On Jul 08, 2020
1)It is not a must.
2)You can go for what is called marriage blessing if you do not want the 'marriage ceremony' itself.The Church will still accept that.
3)They are mutually exclusive.Church wedding is important as long as you belong to a church.Traditional marriage is also important as long as you have 'roots'.
4,5 & 6)) Traditional marriage is a complete marriage.However,you will still need to go to court or registry to be recognized by the law of the land as married.However,you do not have a complete marriage yet if you BELONG to a church.If it is about spending a lot of money,you don't have to.Quite a no of people have married low-key this Covid period.
7)Nothing bad happens.The Church is for a blessing,not a curse.
8 )&(10)It is a personal decision between intending couples.
11a)A lot of things came from Europe that has influenced our lives;education, science and technology etc.The democracy we have today came from Europe.White wedding is one of such.Is it bad?I'll say no.
11b)1 and 2 answers this.

3 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by merieam16(f): 10:29am On Jul 08, 2020
Nt really, depended on ur pocket
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by WeddingWebsite: 3:26pm On Jul 08, 2020
Not a must
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by mrblessed(m): 3:51pm On Jul 08, 2020
What the church knows and refuses to drum it to the ears of its members is that white wedding is unnecessary and also an instrument of control instigated by the Europeans. You might have to study the origin of white wedding and how it became common in Africa. If not for the resilient nature of some African culture, the intent was to supplant it completely with European marriage culture.

Yes, we don't need white wedding, since wedding is cultural and not religious: traditional religion is enough. Without placing the church at the centre of life in Africa, it is difficult to produce split personalities that will accept hook, line, and sinker European culture as integral part of the Christian faith. This is the reason many churches today -- doing the biddings of the colonists -- have different degrees of sanction given to members who do traditional marriage but are yet to "bless" it in the church. In the Catholic church, for example, it is a "sin" for couples who had done traditional marriage to live and procreate without "blessing" their marriage in the church.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Bola146(f): 4:16pm On Jul 08, 2020
No! Traditional marriage is okay for me. Two of us can go to the registry, no ceremony.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Nobody: 5:42pm On Jul 08, 2020
donbachi:
Every thing wey we learn from Europeans..we dey over do am pass dem...even the uninvited go come.

we go do traditional marriage,do court,come do white wedding join am.
The name "white wedding" is enough to tell where its coming from.
Not really a must.just dat she will choke u into doing it

cheesy
Although in my case he was the choker. Yes, the “infallible He” was the choker.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Unnerve: 6:36pm On Jul 08, 2020
White wedding. Something always feels wrong with the way it rolls off my tongue lipsrsealed

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Nobody: 6:49pm On Jul 08, 2020
Bola146:
No! Traditional marriage is okay for me. Two of us can go to the registry, no ceremony.

Sound desperate...because ladies are the advocate of elaborate weddings.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by bukatyne(f): 6:59pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


No, it is not a MUST.


You're the church, you can bless your own marriage. You can also talk to your pastor to come and bless your marriage at your chosen location. But make sure you attend a small church to have this done. Adeboye or Oyedepo would not leave Ota to come bless your marriage in your house.



The most important thing is that you seek the consent of both parents/families, pay your rites, and back it up with the law.



Traditional wedding completes a marriage traditionally.



What kind of papers? The only recognized paper is that issued by a recognized/licensed magistrate. Any other paper is technically useless.



Answered above



Something bad would surely happen if you marry a wrong spouse. For example, a spouse that tells you to avoid white wedding because he or she wants you to stop going to church, praying, serving your God, or abandoning your faith. This may result in clashes and everyday war in your home. So ask yourself, to why are you avoiding the white/church wedding?




Is this about wearing a white gown or going to church? I didn't do a church wedding but my wife wore a white gown. What do you want? White that can be worn for the registry or a regular photoshoot or your pastor's blessings/traditional wedding that can be done in your home, just as I had mine in my spouse's family house (of course with any attire or regalia you so desire?)

Who says a woman must wear the wedding gown ONLY to the church, even now that churches are closed?



I think NOTHING. I'm a man.



Doesn't really matter who owns the culture. European or not, the typical magistrate in Nigeria (including those in the villages) expects the woman to wear a wedding gown for joining.




What the church expects is that your marriage should be legally binding. Churches work hand in hand with the registry. If your church is licensed by the ministry of interior, then a church may insist you hold your wedding in the church.

However, if your aim of pursuing a traditional wedding is to gain an advantage for an easy exit out of your marriage or marry another woman based on traditional principles, then the church has the right to abandon you and your spouse.

Your last paragraph is so soooo funny.

By the way, when did you marry? shocked shocked
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by bukatyne(f): 7:00pm On Jul 08, 2020
Gforce2015:


Sound desperate...because ladies are the advocate of elaborate weddings.

Hahahahahahahaha!

You guys sha cheesy
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Ejenavi18(f): 7:12pm On Jul 08, 2020
It's not a must.
My friend who got married early this year did just traditional marriage, her preference anyway.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 7:14pm On Jul 08, 2020
bukatyne:


Your last paragraph is so soooo funny.

By the way, when did you marry? shocked shocked

The expression grin grin


Sometime ago.... Last month cheesy
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by bukatyne(f): 7:22pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


The expression grin grin


Sometime ago.... Last month cheesy


Ha Ha!

No wonder you have been away.

Happy honeymooning and God bless your home with love, joy, peace and wisdom to stick together like glue forever.

Amen!
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by ibkayee(f): 7:32pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


The expression grin grin


Sometime ago.... Last month cheesy
Congratulations cheesy
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by baby124: 7:45pm On Jul 08, 2020
Traditional is the real wedding. Then go to court to make a legal record to recognize the marriage according to the laws of the land. White wedding is a waste of time and resources. White wedding is the traditional wedding for white people. If you are not marrying a white person, you have no business doing white wedding. You can go to church for thanksgiving and blessings.

2 Likes

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Nobody: 7:51pm On Jul 08, 2020
I ama strong advocate of traditional and court marriage. grin
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 7:57pm On Jul 08, 2020
bukatyne:



Ha Ha!

No wonder you have been away.

Happy honeymooning and God bless your home with love, joy, peace and wisdom to stick together like glue forever.

Amen!

cheesy I've actually been around o

Amen!

Thank you my sister ❤️ smiley

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 7:57pm On Jul 08, 2020
ibkayee:

Congratulations cheesy

You found that!

Thanks dear smiley
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by bukatyne(f): 7:58pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


cheesy I've actually been around o

Amen!

Thank you my sister ❤️ smiley

cheesy

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by ibkayee(f): 8:12pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


You found that!

Thanks dear smiley
Lol I’m really happy for you like I know you personally or something smiley

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 8:21pm On Jul 08, 2020
ibkayee:

Lol I’m really happy for you like I know you personally or something smiley

Hmmn yes you do smiley
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by ibkayee(f): 8:35pm On Jul 08, 2020
Acidosis:


Hmmn yes you do smiley
I guess I do to some degree smiley

1 Like

Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by ihec(m): 11:34pm On Jul 08, 2020
It is not oooo.
We are here practicing white wedding whereas the whites don't practice traditional wedding. The most important thing is that you pay the dowry and provide whatever items the brides culture demands.
Whit weddings have stopped alot of marriages.
A certain man is still paying the debt collected for his wedding whereas the wife in question is filling for a divorce.
Re: Is It A Must To Perform The White Wedding After The Traditional Wedding? by Acidosis(m): 10:21am On Jul 09, 2020
ibkayee:

I guess I do to some degree smiley

Now you're talking smiley

1 Like

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