Most of the times I walk into a room and I get admired for being confident , You should see me meet new people, I enjoy it and walk in like I know you, not like I have to talk to everyone but a fair share of I'm warm and I'm myself, but see me at home I'm someone else , I'm reserved and shy and pretty much a picture of a not-so-confident individual.

That's how it is like for most of us , we don't have a confidence problem everywhere but a confidence problem somewhere, you might be confident in reality and lack confidence online , you might be confident among your friends and lack confidence before a stranger . You are confident but you're are reading this because you lack confidence in some aspect of your life. Here are some non-magical but realistic tips you can use as a tool to inflating your tire of confidence.

¶Tool one - Get a journal

You might have one already or not, and you like get a journal for what? Yea, get a journal or it's equivalence to keep records. You have to get to know yourself, a journal helps you achieve that, it shouldn't be used to record evil like a black book or death note, no not this journal, it should be used to record your journey. In this journal you have to
- highlight the area you have confidence
- and areas you don't have self confidence
- know why you lack confidence in that area
- what have you done to deal with your lack of confidence.

For example in my journal it's like this.
•I have confidence outside my home
•I lack confidence at home
•I always get this bad energy from my parents majorly because I made a mistake years ago and that made them lose trust in me
•I try to be invisible in the house to prevent clashes.

From this I know basically I haven't done anything about my relationship with my parents other than run away.

You have to be extremely honest in your journal.


¶Tool Two - Your perspective must change - Don't expect the situation to change but plan to change.

If for example you lack confidence at work, stop expecting that Co worker to leave your work place so you can regain your confidence, it's your confidence you will have to fix it. This stand point is very important because if your co worker leave you didn't work on your confidence, (if you are abused and you have the opportunity to leave an environment of abuse to heal please do) there are people else where like your co worker, boss, parents, wife, landlord etc you have to be on a stand point of working on your confidence. You don't have to run away when you see your landlord passing even if you owe, you can handle it better. This perspective will make you responsible for your confidence and build it like Rome(and it wasn't built in a day)

¶Tool Three - Groom yourself.
Can I get a megaphone here please. "Good morning people, I come with the message that can transform your life" " GROOM YOURSELF".
Yes groom yourself.
After writing in your journal and taking responsibility for your confidence, it's time for this baby to grow up, groom yourself, write out your weakness and shortcomings, make conscious efforts to being Better.
With my parents I realize that I'm not really an honest person that's why I always had issues and it was true so I worked on my integrity and didn't expect them to change, I saw myself better even when misunderstood so gradually they saw me better.
You owe your landlord, maybe you need to make better financial choices, work on that and see how your confidence increases even in the same house.
At work, your let people talk down on you, and need to be more assertive, note that and work on it. Then you see you rise with confidence like flour dough with yeast.

¶Tool Four - Small steps.

All what I listed before must be considered as small steps, a website is built with little steps. Deal with the little and basic ones first before the big ones because your small wins will boost your big wins. Change the little you can about yourself and watch yourself become a stronger person in character.

Small steps can involve you saying no to that friend that gives you financial burdens and the big step can be saying no when you don't want to have sex. Your friend will be the stepping stone to being more vocal.

If you feel frustration, start from tool one again, till you achieve what you want.

These are not all the tools you need but these tools worked for me. Go for knowledge and equip yourself with more tools, I hope you came by an handy tool, lemme know in the comment below, which tool you have used before or you are planing on using. Stay confident!

N.B - My parents and I now are chilling, feeling like a good child.