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Please Help.......i Am Confused - Romance - Nairaland

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Please Help.......i Am Confused by temijoshuaa(m): 11:55am On Jul 17, 2020
I met this lady in 2012 while at achool and we started dating same year. She is a very gentle and quiet girl and i am also quiet but better than her. She gives me no problem and does not demand too much. She earns a living for herself and comfortable.

I have one major problem with our relationship. We cant have good conversations together and we are not friends. Over the years, she has promised to improve in terms of communication, but i am not feeling it at all. We are not friends. Whenever we are together, i have to call my friends to have conversations and relieve my boredom. A friend advised me to go see her parents, maybe she will change afterwards, this did not change anything. Throughout our 5 hours journey from her parent's house to mine, we did not discuss at all, despite my effort to engage.

She does not show emotions. I have tried several times to get her angry, but she would not show emotions. One time, i did a photoshop of me having a video call with a naked girl, and i gave her my phone to check pictures. She saw the picture, but gave no emotion at all. She just checked it and scrolled to the next picture. I WAS FLABBERGASTED.

Please, its been 7 years in this relationship, and her parents are already talking about marriage. I need advise as i want a fun marriage, and be friends with my wife.
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by lograr(m): 11:57am On Jul 17, 2020
temijoshuaa:
I met this lady in 2012 while at achool and we started dating same year. She is a very gentle and quiet girl and i am also quiet but better than her. She gives me no problem and does not demand too much. She earns a living for herself and comfortable.

Your confusion is confusing us


Modified : After reading your modified post from the second paragraph, I like calm girls that doesn't like or give wahala. please pass her to me. I will substitute it with a loud, crazy and highly volatile b*tch for you.

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Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by berryace007: 11:57am On Jul 17, 2020
temijoshuaa:
I met this lady in 2012 while at achool and we started dating same year. She is a very gentle and quiet girl and i am also quiet but better than her. She gives me no problem and does not demand too much. She earns a living for herself and comfortable.
Op wetin u smoke
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by donbachi(m): 11:58am On Jul 17, 2020
Op,if u are dis confused..then u dont deserve her..u need her opposite.

1 Like

Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by GboyegaD(m): 12:10pm On Jul 17, 2020
Do you engage her in good communication cos she can't be communicating with herself in the relationship. In the 7years, what has the communication been like?

Most importantly, do you share similar interests and aspirations? Talk about her interests and see if that would get her talking.

Lastly, if you are not convinced, abeg, take a walk out of her life.
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by allen113: 12:10pm On Jul 17, 2020
OP nawa for you o. grin
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by Hollasmall: 12:15pm On Jul 17, 2020
temijoshuaa:
I met this lady in 2012 while at achool and we started dating same year. She is a very gentle and quiet girl and i am also quiet but better than her. She gives me no problem and does not demand too much. She earns a living for herself and comfortable.

I have one major problem with our relationship. We cant have good conversations together and we are not friends. Over the years, she has promised to improve in terms of communication, but i am not feeling it at all. We are not friends. Whenever we are together, i have to call my friends to have conversations and relieve my boredom. A friend advised me to go see her parents, maybe she will change afterwards, this did not change anything. Throughout our 5 hours journey from her parent's house to mine, we did not discuss at all, despite my effort to engage.

She does not show emotions. I have tried several times to get her angry, but she would not show emotions. One time, i did a photoshop of me having a video call with a naked girl, and i gave her my phone to check pictures. She saw the picture, but gave no emotion at all. She just checked it and scrolled to the next picture. I WAS FLABBERGASTED.

Please, its been 7 years in this relationship, and her parents are already talking about marriage. I need advise as i want a fun marriage, and be friends with my wife.

Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by themaestro08(m): 12:28pm On Jul 17, 2020
temijoshuaa:
I met this lady in 2012 while at achool and we started dating same year. She is a very gentle and quiet girl and i am also quiet but better than her. She gives me no problem and does not demand too much. She earns a living for herself and comfortable.

I have one major problem with our relationship. We cant have good conversations together and we are not friends. Over the years, she has promised to improve in terms of communication, but i am not feeling it at all. We are not friends. Whenever we are together, i have to call my friends to have conversations and relieve my boredom. A friend advised me to go see her parents, maybe she will change afterwards, this did not change anything. Throughout our 5 hours journey from her parent's house to mine, we did not discuss at all, despite my effort to engage.

She does not show emotions. I have tried several times to get her angry, but she would not show emotions. One time, i did a photoshop of me having a video call with a naked girl, and i gave her my phone to check pictures. She saw the picture, but gave no emotion at all. She just checked it and scrolled to the next picture. I WAS FLABBERGASTED.

Please, its been 7 years in this relationship, and her parents are already talking about marriage. I need advise as i want a fun marriage, and be friends with my wife.

"Marry your best friend" says physiologists. E get why. That said, however, that is her nature, she can't change, stop wasting your time and effort, its inherently part of her. Or maybe you guys ain't just compatible with each other. You may be surprised to see her immersed in conversation with one of her male friends( if so, its hint for you on what to do) or her crush.

As far as I am concerned you will have a pathetic and boring marriage life if you go on to tie the knot with her, you will live to regret it. However, my two cent is to either quit the relationship and continue being friends with her and look for a better partner or leave her totally.

The ball is in your court man.
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by skillmyman(m): 1:41pm On Jul 17, 2020
OP,
everything comes back to you. A lady is what you nuture her to be. seriously, you do not deserve her cos you are boring to death.
If you are lively, she would have brighten up, be comfortable with you and bear her minds to you but you come across like
someone not friendly and someone she cannot also trust cos you also don't show emotions.

Marry your best friend but people don't become your best friend in a day.
you have to take her out, go places, watch cinemas and build history together.
ladies talk when they are with people or environment that they are relaxed.

My 2 cents after 20yrs

1 Like

Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by Stephenmoka4(m): 1:45pm On Jul 17, 2020
She is a calm person, not the type that talk much too. I find it a good quality but, if you don't like her like that it won't be easy to change someone's default characteristics.
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by SweetBuns(f): 1:46pm On Jul 17, 2020
silent killer alert
slow poison alert
na her type go kill you in your sleep.
Re: Please Help.......i Am Confused by temijoshuaa(m): 1:57pm On Jul 17, 2020
skillmyman:
OP,
everything comes back to you. A lady is what you nuture her to be. seriously, you do not deserve her cos you are boring to death.
If you are lively, she would have brighten up, be comfortable with you and bear her minds to you but you come across like
someone not friendly and someone she cannot also trust cos you also don't show emotions.

Marry your best friend but people don't become your best friend in a day.
you have to take her out, go places, watch cinemas and build history together.
ladies talk when they are with people or environment that they are relaxed.

My 2 cents after 20yrs

I am outgoing and not boring at all. To be honest, i feel ashamed bringing this to this forum but i can not fathom it alone.

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