jennykadry:

Speaking to the man on phone is a no-no

I think the man should just leave his wife because she is not ready for marriage. The more reason why I said she just wants to be called a MRS.

With all the work/career/job name it, no common sense and the OP is not even helping her.

BTW OP, did you talk to your own husband to know his opinion first before talking to your friend's husband?or you just talked to the man as the I too sabi wey you be?

I have strong reason to beleive that the OP is the woman in question

ROTFLMSGBO Thought same too , even mobinga asked her the question, see how she lashed out at him ,you know see how she dey defend the friend? she knows too much info jare. Read her posts and you'll see that she posts like she's the person in question, with too much classified info

^^^ True

And seriously, no naija woman will give her friend the phone to talk to the husband and convince him to go to school!

Ujujoan:

^^^ True

And seriously, no naija woman will give her friend the phone to talk to the husband and convince him to go to school!

Not really. A friend of mine just called me and asked me to talk to her husband about going to school. I know the guy well though. My friend felt I could convince him since he likes me. It worked and he is making plans to go to school. You have no idea how she might have presented it to the man

Hmmmmm, uju and jenny na wa oo . Yes i am the woman does it make both of you feel good ?

Outstrip:

Not really. A friend of mine just called me and asked me to talk to her husband about going to school. I know the guy well though. My friend felt I could convince him since he likes me. It worked and he is making plans to go to school. You have no idea how she might have presented it to the man

Hmmmn . . . He didn't listen to his wife but listened to you

You powers of persuasion must be legendary then!

rita@NL:

Hmmmmm, uju and jenny na wa oo . Yes i am the woman does it make both of you feel good ?

Sorry na, no vex . . . We just though it was a bit . . . odd!

dayokanu:

The guy doesnt want to school in Canada, the woman is hesitant to bring him

Let them divorce and go their separate ways.

Afterall she saw that he was not well educated before she married him. Most likely the man is shining Kongos all over naija now

Yes .she saw that the man was not educated b4 she married him but is she suppose to leave a man she's bin with for 8yrs becos the man doesnt wanna come school abroad ? she has no problem with the guy eduaction before she left 9jia but when she realized that he has to change location,she belivs the guy's education will have to change . The lady herself never knew it will be like this, she never knew she herself will have to start all over abroad. They were both fine in 9jia with or without eduaction.

Jenny


Yes I spoke with the guy i will do it over and over if that is what will save this mariage .
In life you have problem,sometimes you cant even confide in your own family,you might feel comfortable sharing your problem with your best friend or your pastor or somebody whom you know you are save with. That doesnt mean you are silly. I've known the husband with my friend for more than three years,way be4 they got married. i talk to the husband like a brother. . . . not all marriages are perfect,people have bin on NL sharing their problems here, you think if only they only peopl to confide in really life they will be on internet ?  I know you and uju are super woman and your marriages are wonderful but not every women are .  I dont know waht the big deal in talking to your friend's husband is,when you know the problem is eating her up, would you rather watch your friend in pain rather than help her if she request for it ? I bet you dont have really friend sto confide in you in really life cos you will mock then.

rita@NL:

Yes .she saw that the man was not educated b4 she married him but is she suppose to leave a man she's bin with for 8yrs becos the man doesnt wanna come school abroad ? she has no problem with the guy eduaction before she left 9jia but when she realized that he has to change location,she belivs the guy's education will have to change . The lady herself never knew it will be like this, she never knew she herself will have to start all over abroad. They were both fine in 9jia with or without eduaction.

     

She dated him for 8 years and still doesn't know how much he hates schooling   

rita@NL:

Jenny


Yes I spoke with the guy i will do it over and over if that is what will save this mariage .
In life you have problem,sometimes you cant even confide in your own family,you might feel comfortable sharing your problem with your best friend or your pastor or somebody whom you know you are save with. That doesnt mean you are silly. I've known the husband with my friend for more than three years,way be4 they got married. i talk to the husband like a brother. . . . not all marriages are perfect,people have bin on NL sharing their problems here, you think if only they only peopl to confide in really life they will be on internet ?  I know you and uju are super woman and your marriages are wonderful but not every women are .  I dont know waht the big deal in talking to your friend's husband is,when you know the problem is eating her up, would you rather watch your friend in pain rather than help her if she request for it ? I bet you dont have really friend sto confide in you in really life cos you will mock then.

I'm not married! 

I've had married friends confide in me . . . I even had to house one for months when her husband chased her out of the house. Me I just can't see myself butting in in people's marital troubles, friend or not!

...

jennykadry:

You spoke to her husband? why you no dey mind your business?

Anyways If I post now you go say i dey do gra gra, gra gra for speaking my mind?

These people have spoken about this thing right from the time go, he told her from the beginning that he was not interested in going to school, your friend seeing that age was catching up with her decided to marry him and then make known her intentions later.

Jenny

I know you got married very early but thinking women who didnt are desperate.If getting married at the age of 27 means there is no age on that woman's side then i think something is wrong with this world. Considering 9jia eduaction,strike,unemployment and coming abroad to have to start over.Stop using age to bash your fellow woman , does doing it make you feel like you are superior to them ? Any little thing, you will say some women got married becos age is not on their side . That na how you take age and husband yab one NL lady becos she come share her problem for NL .  There are single ladies on NL  and they have peace of mind while some so call married lady dont but this married ladies will come to NL forming as if their marriage no get ups and downs but all na lie . Well if you like change , if you like no change. . . . life goes on ooo Madam jenny.

Ujujoan:



She dated him for 8 years and still doesn't know how much he hates schooling

I'm not married!

I've had married friends confide in me . . . I even had to house one for months when her husband chased her out of the house. Me I just can't see myself butting in in people's marital troubles, friend or not!

Yes, 8 years , they av bin dating since high school but she never had problem with the fact that the guy didnt have university degree cos he was doing well. they never knew they will both have to relocate abroad oneday , so why will she bother hersef aboout the education thing in 9jia, she realised how important education will help her husband when she got here cos she has to go to school again herself

chaircover:

If the education thing is going to cause such kata kata, surely there must be other ways round this. BTW how long will this course last?

Rita when you spoke to the husband, what were his views/plans/options on how he was going to maintain his family if he is unable to find a good job as a result of his lack of education?

I beliv 6 months should be okey for the man since he doesnt like school and that will even be a priavte career college but in university the course might be 2-yrs ooo ,depends on how far you want to go .

The man said he just doesnt like school and he belivs he will be anywhere he want with the Job he learn , he said going to school is just like wantin to do something against is wish cos he never liked school that the little he had in the first palce was becos of his parent . i told him those who didnt go to school here ends up in factory or cleaning Job and he might not want to do that . Then he said atleast that will put food on his table, i said maybe,then he said we shouldnt woryy cos God will see him through.

@Poster. . . You sound like a home breaker and perpetual gossip! The woman that you accomodated when her husband chased her out was probably influenced by your destructive advise and "busy bodiness" and when crap hit the fan, she had no other option than to run to her "mentor". It's women like you that are solely responsible 4 breaking marriages. You even had the cohones to state that you SPOKE TO THE HUSBAND on phone. If i decide 2 get married tomorrow and my wife in conjunction with her "friend" pulls this shyt on me, that so called marriage ends that instant. I don't care if kids are involved. This is what happens when men lose their senses by giving in to women's demand for "love,trust and security" in marriage. This poor guy didn't block his wife from travelling. Now she is there, she realizes that she married a semi-literate. Gosh! Men have suffered. I feel sorry 4 guys who go out of their way 2 please their women. I'm NOT sorry to say this but men who trust women absolutely are either dumb or clinically insane! ! !

harakiri:

@Poster. . . You sound like a home breaker and perpetual gossip! The woman that you accomodated when her husband chased her out was probably influenced by your destructive advise and "busy bodiness" and when crap hit the fan, she had no other option than to run to her "mentor". It's women like you that are solely responsible 4 breaking marriages. You even had the cohones to state that you SPOKE TO THE HUSBAND on phone. If i decide 2 get married tomorrow and my wife in conjunction with her "friend" pulls this shyt on me, that so called marriage ends that instant. I don't care if kids are involved. This is what happens when men lose their senses by giving in to women's demand for "love,trust and security" in marriage. This poor guy didn't block his wife from travelling. Now she is there, she realizes that she married a semi-literate. Gosh! Men have suffered. I feel sorry 4 guys who go out of their way 2 please their women. I'm NOT sorry to say this but men who trust women absolutely are either dumb or clinically insane! ! !

Where did i state the bolded ? You dey mistake me for Uju ? Uju dem say u be home breaker oo.

Oga you dey see at all ? Were ma po ni NL OOO

Wetin 'consyn' bird with toothbrush?
Wetin 'consyn' you with the marriage? Na force?
You're a bad wife, I pray he divorces you, he deserves better.

The man has said he doesnt want to go to school simple.

He said it before they got married, he is still saying it now.

Let your friend decide what to do. The man would surely find a woman who doesnt need him to go to school.

jennykadry:

You spoke to her husband? why you no dey mind your business?

Anyways If I post now you go say i dey do gra gra, gra gra for speaking my mind?

These people have spoken about this thing right from the time go, he told her from the beginning that he was not interested in going to school, your friend seeing that age was catching up with her decided to marry him and then make known her intentions later.

If na Dayokanu talk this one, the female warriors for don go up in arms

Another case where a woman just cons the man into marriage and later shift the goalpost.

Leave the man and let him be and let your friend marry Canada or the prime Minister

jennykadry:

@BB
Eku' se ooooo, I see your handwork, if no be say I was busy trying to get sagamite's weapon of mass destruction going and at the same time trying to awaken dayokanu's ozumba rock that decided to go on exile after the last time you had him, I for face you and give you my mind word for word

Gbenusoun joo, why did you have to attach yourself to me and follow me come earth as my twin Now see how that rita behind NL or rita by the side of NL or rita on top of NL or whatever name she calls herself dey drag my yansh for floor because of you See our life, chei

And may Sagamite's e-weapon of mass distraction never rise to the occasion ever again in the presence of Jenny Hmmm, talking of Dayokanu's Ozumba Olumba bazonkadonka rock, I only enlisted his help as a subject matter because we had to study Petrology as part of my Geology Degree, yeah thats why

rita@nl]
BusyBody

Your own case na another thing, na jenny i say her wahala too much but your own self na die ,only be say you make sense and thank you so much .

We sent the application today . She spoke with the husband yesterday but he was still bent on not going to school .  I spoke to the guy myself and the guy said ,he already made it known to her from day one that,he wont go to school,he said he wanted to learn trade and he did . He said he does nt believe he cant make it there without going to school,i told him he as to go for atleast 6months but he was like we shouldnt worry God will see him through when he gets here but he's never gonna go to school cos he never liked school and that was why God made him prosper in his business in 9jia without going to school.

Well some peopl for 9jia beliv say na God dey take miracle put money for people pocket here oo,even when dem no work . anyway Wella dey,he go dey collect wella feed him family .

. . .The man said he just doesnt like school and he belivs he will be anywhere he want with the Job he learn , he said going to school is just like wantin to do something against is wish cos he never liked school that the little he had in the first palce was becos of his parent . i told him those who didnt go to school here ends up in factory or cleaning Job and he might not want to do that . Then he said atleast that will put food on his table, i said maybe,then he said we shouldnt woryy cos God will see him through.

[/quote]


Abeg let him come and start cleaning toilets or washing dead bodies to start putting food on the table, he would not be the first Naija man, neither would he be the last, but it is just unfortunate that it is this same dude that would start feeling inadequate and his ego starts taking a battering when he discovers his wife is the breadwinner for the 10th year running bacause he refused to upgrade his knowledge Silly being
 

[quote author=rita@NL:

Where did i state the bolded ? You dey mistake me for Uju ? Uju dem say u be home breaker oo.

Oga you dey see at all ? Were ma po ni NL OOO

Ouch, guess this is a case of shooting himself in the foot or putting his foot in his mouth Men tatafos And you sef get sef to dey explain to NL's-perfect-know-it-all-people jare

LOL @ Ujujoan. What the heck are you insinuating. okpo. I just talked to him in plain language. The long term effects of him not doing it versus not doing it. No dramatics. I believe in being realistic and taking control of life not letting life take control of you


I think she should let the man come here and then we will see. He sounds like a smart and hardworking person. So it is safe to say that when he comes here and see how it is he will adjust accordingly. I am glad she sent the documents. She would have regretted her decision had she not sent it. I had a friend who actually brought her husband from Nigeria and she was really nervous that he will come here and seeing her salary would not understand what it takes to make a dollar. The man came here and shocked everybody. I don't think she could have found a better husband if she created him herself. Let's not play God abeg

rita@NL:

Where did i state the bolded ? You dey mistake me for Uju ? Uju dem say u be home breaker oo.

Oga you dey see at all ? Were ma po ni NL OOO

^^^^^ dis thread don turn ragged ! " "

sometimes you just have to take risks, i guess.

the woman should take a chance on the man.

things might end up exactly the way she fears, but she should still try.

@miss rita@nl
Your friend is her own problem, her fears are making her take wrong decisions. The fact that her sister went through that does not mean that her case with her husband will be the same when he comes over. He can arrive canada and become a huge success. Her assumptions here are the source of the problem. A family is supposed to be together, many marriages have been destroyed by the spouses having to live in different continents etc.
It isn't only people that went to school to get certificate that succeed in Life, I know a skilled person that is somewhere outside Nigeria earning more than the doctors who are among the most well paid. Success begins in the mind of a person, a person that is determined to succeed will succeed in spite of odds.

Having lived in Canada for 7yrs now, here is my advice:

She should not file for him now, instead she should send him invitation to visit her in Canada on a visiting visa (he can stay up to 6 months at a time). This will enable him come to Canada, talk to people in his profession and let him make informed career decision with respect to his next move

She should follow her heart and use the period to watch him very closely and decide if he will turn out to be someone who would likely abandon him shortly after receiving his PR card, as many men use marriage to scam women into sponsoring them to Canada only to end up with a broken heart and bills to pay.
If he shows any sign of infidelity or not really in love with her, she should save herself the trouble, and not bring him here, instead, she should relocate to live with him in Nigeria

She should file for his sponsorhip if & only if she does not have anything to hide (eg involvement in prostitution etc). He will find out once he is here and the marriage will be over, and she will be on the hook to provide financial support to him for 3yrs from the date he land here. God help her if he can not find a Job and end up in welfare within the 3yrs, she will be on the hook to repay all the bills to the Government

She should bring him here if and only if she will still love and respect him without making his life miserable, if he end up with a menial job driving taxi, delivery pizza, cleaning floors etc making $10/hr.

rita@NL:

Jenny

. Well if you like change , if you like no change. . . . life goes on ooo Madam jenny.

Change for gini?

rita@NL:

Jenny


Yes I spoke with the guy i will do it over and over if that is what will save this mariage .
In life you have problem,sometimes you cant even confide in your own family,you might feel comfortable sharing your problem with your best friend or your pastor or somebody whom you know you are save with. That doesnt mean you are silly. I've known the husband with my friend for more than three years,way be4 they got married. i talk to the husband like a brother. . . . not all marriages are perfect,people have bin on NL sharing their problems here, you think if only they only peopl to confide in really life they will be on internet ?  I know you and uju are super woman and your marriages are wonderful but not every women are .  I dont know waht the big deal in talking to your friend's husband is,when you know the problem is eating her up, would you rather watch your friend in pain rather than help her if she request for it ? I bet you dont have really friend sto confide in you in really life cos you will mock then.

Sweetheart you are not making sense.

Outstrip:

LOL @ Ujujoan. What the heck are you insinuating. okpo. I just talked to him in plain language. The long term effects of him not doing it versus not doing it. No dramatics. I believe in being realistic and taking control of life not letting life take control of you


I think she should let the man come here and then we will see. He sounds like a smart and hardworking person. So it is safe to say that when he comes here and see how it is he will adjust accordingly. I am glad she sent the documents. She would have regretted her decision had she not sent it. I had a friend who actually brought her husband from Nigeria and she was really nervous that he will come here and seeing her salary would not understand what it takes to make a dollar. The man came here and shocked everybody. I don't think she could have found a better husband if she created him herself. Let's not play God abeg

   

Is it me you are calling okpo? Gi nwa opko nke gi!     

New to this forum. My opinion is that the woman is digging her grave using her God's given hands. What is it that she is so full of herself about. She is going to regret it in her old age. I have an aunt that did similar thing when she was younger, now she is old staying alone living with rats and cockroaches. Wish her all the best

^^she no dey shine kongo?abi na d rats and cockroaches dey shine d thing!

dayokanu:

The man has said he doesnt want to go to school simple.

He said it before they got married, he is still saying it now.

Let your friend decide what to do. The man would surely find a woman who doesnt need him to go to school.

If na Dayokanu talk this one, the female warriors for don go up in arms

Another case where a woman just cons the man into marriage and later shift the goalpost.

Leave the man and let him be and let your friend marry Canada or the prime Minister

You sef see am abi? If Nah Man Talk am now, Femi-Nazis for don full ground wella.

Lost for words
No,I've got a few;any husband that will have to be "brought"/taken abroad by his wife and if the wife declines,he can't do it on his own isnt much of a husband;in my book

hmmm
SHE CANT STAY UNDER ONE ROOF WITH A MAN 4 LONG!!!,

y the fxxk did she get married in the first place?

LOL NL is becoming too predictable. As usual the same people say the same things
Play the same roles at the end of the day; Tis another day in NL paradise

Are you surprised?

And where have you been hiding ? Shouldnt we be planning for our 8th child?