I work as a pastor. Now I discover that my wife is no longer in love with me. She no longer agree to intercourse. I monitored her phone and found a man she's has been talking to all this while. There is no need fighting her because you can't force anyone to love you. I didn't even confront her.

I can't even try to divorce her because that means the end of my job. I don't even want to be separated from my only daughter she has for me because my daughter is my everything.

If I resign from my job, there is no hope of finding a new one because of my disability, and I have no money to set up a business with my skills.

The most painful of this is that I have inspired a lot of people who made it out of darkness alive.

But here I am a drowning being. To remark in the passing, I have been praying for a long while.

This life no just balance

Since she doesnt love you again, the best you can do is to consult your mos senior and trusted pastor for advice.

You have to take this with caution

Hmmm...

Divorce should be inevitable in this case.

Where love is dead, a human would soon follow.

Find out more info about the Agsmeis CBN loan to set up your business. Google it.

How true are u that u own's that girl u called ur "daughter".... Beside.. Is pastor now a job ??..... I thought is was God appointment na

Why be say na intercourse dey pain this gender pass? ...
Yee who Stone me

hmmm...pastor dats is coming to nairaland of all places for marriage advice. Lolz



Maybe u should pm righteousness personally

Siratro:
I work as a pastor. Now I discover that my wife is no longer in love with me. She no longer agree to intercourse. I monitored her phone and found a man she's has been talking to all this while. There is no need fighting her because you can't force anyone to love you. I didn't even confront her.

I can't even try to divorce her because that means the end of my job. I don't even want to be separated from my only daughter she has for me because my daughter is my everything.

If I resign from my job, there is no hope of finding a new one because of my disability, and I have no money to set up a business with my skills.

The most painful of this is that I have inspired a lot of people who made it out of darkness alive.

But here I am a drowning being. To remark in the passing, I have been praying for a long while.

I have realized that sometimes, you are obligated to give support to people out of nothing.

Unfortunately, your own support and pillar is proving to be a caterpillar.

Instead of staying in the marriage because you are obligated to or it signals the end of your 'job', why don't you go back to the drawing board?

Sometimes, prayers are for wisdom to direct your steps. Remember faith without works is dead so prayers alone would not restore your marriage except the issue is solely spiritual.

Introspect on what went wrong in the marriage. When did she change? When did she start rejecting you?

Also discuss as husband and wife not pastor and member. Please drop the pastor speak and engage her as a man losing his lover to pinpoint what went wrong and solutions.

@Job: Pastor hood ideally should be a calling and not a job. You seem too worried about the livelihood part of your pastor hood and what people would say.

What is God saying?!

.

Let's get real. Your wife is not the problem. You are the problem.

Before things got this bad, she must have given you subtle signs.

Perhaps the stipends the church pays you doesn't help much.

Perhaps you're always away in church meetings and never present in your wife's life and that of your daughter.

Perhaps you bug her too much with endless prayers. Yeah, having a solid prayer life is good, but most pastors take it to the extreme. As if God now has cemented ear drums.

Because you ignored the signs, you're now depressed. The solution is simple.

Call your woman and sit with her for a long family discussion. No preaching. No guilt-tripping.

Ask her what her expectations are that you've not met over the years and what you can do to remedy it.

Then both of you can design a plan with timeline on how you can start meeting those expectations.

If it means quitting being a pastor, then discuss your options with her. Please discuss with your wife.

Siratro:
I work as a pastor. Now I discover that my wife is no longer in love with me. She no longer agree to intercourse. I monitored her phone and found a man she's has been talking to all this while. There is no need fighting her because you can't force anyone to love you. I didn't even confront her.

I can't even try to divorce her because that means the end of my job. I don't even want to be separated from my only daughter she has for me because my daughter is my everything.

If I resign from my job, there is no hope of finding a new one because of my disability, and I have no money to set up a business with my skills.

The most painful of this is that I have inspired a lot of people who made it out of darkness alive.

But here I am a drowning being. To remark in the passing, I have been praying for a long while.

What really happened that she started having an online partner, did you treat her bad or made her to lose interest in you

I believe its not because of your disability because, am sure the disability was there before you propose to her

You have to find out the remote causes of this problem

If you don't tackle it now, she will definitely be happy doing what she wants to be happy while you struggle with emotional pains

Alternatively, go to her and plead with her to bring her mind back home and you too avoid triggering her

It's never good for a woman to test it outside, she will definitely get a good match for you, it's best to avoid it

If she doesn't want sex from you, who gives it to her then ?

Find out from her the way forward and prays as a pastor God will guide you

There is no smoke with out fire

Willing to tell us more about your skills and disability?

Na me stone you

yettymuse:
Why be say na intercourse dey pain this gender pass? ...
Yee who Stone me

Too bad.

You need to speak to her and a colleague in your church for counseling. You need to be deliberate in your pursuit of happiness. Please dont compromise on that. May God shine His light your way.

yettymuse:
Why be say na intercourse dey pain this gender pass? ...
Yee who Stone me

Do you know how nauseating and irritating it is having intercourse you don't enjoy over and over again? And it's not something you can simply switch on the enjoyment. Kai e no make sense at all.

In your home you are first a husband, secondly a father then pastor follows. It means that ur role as a husband and father trumps all.

Approach your wife as a man that chyked and dated her and talk heart to heart with her. Maybe you have ignored her needs which made her look for alternative outside.You can take time off from the church to be with them.

If it ends in divorce, you aren't the 1st.
Being a pastor doesn't stop you from having a side income. Paul was a lawyer and then a tent maker, Peter a fisherman, and so on. My pastors are engaging in one thing or the other so as not to be a burden to the church and also adequately provide for your family. Call one of those you helped to guide you in their business. There is ability in disability so it shouldn't deter you at all. What if you retire?

Pray to your God for directions.

You're in a situation where you've to choose between winning dishonorably or losing honorably, because you've, as a wife, a woman who has never had an altruistic interest in you. So, your total situation and position notwithstanding, you won't have your liberation until you make a voluntary choice between winning dishonorably or losing honorably and act on it.

It's not in her place to love you, because love has never been a woman's forte; don't expect the impossible from her. She just has an obligation to submit to you. Now, if you've been conscientious and have been giving her altruistic treatment, but she decides not to respect the vow of the marriage and the bond that holds the two of you together, if any, go for squash on her. She's no right to exercise her liberty outside the confines of decorum, likewise you.

If you don't know one thing to do to squash her, temporarily or permanently, then you don't deserve consideration of a sane person, your disability notwithstanding, because there's ability in disability.

frozen70:


What really happened that she started having an online partner, did you treat her bad or made her to lose interest in you

LadySarah:


Approach your wife as a man that chyked and dated her and talk heart to heart with her. Maybe you have ignored her needs which made her look for alternative outside.You can take time off from the church to be with them.

Sighs

And nobody is calling the woman to account and holding her responsible for cheating on her husband. If it were the other way round, all hail and brimstone would be let loose on the man's head.

LordKO:
You're in a situation where you've to choose between winning dishonorably or losing honorably, because you've, as a wife, a woman who has never had an altruistic interest in you. So, your total situation and position notwithstanding, you won't have your liberation until you make a voluntary choice between winning dishonorably or losing honorably and act on it.

It's not in her place to love you, because love has never been a woman's forte; don't expect the impossible from her. She just has an obligation to submit to you. Now, if you've been conscientious and have been giving her altruistic treatment, but she decides not to respect the vow of the marriage and the bond that holds the two of you together, if any, go for squash on her. She's no right to exercise her liberty outside the confines of decorum, likewise you.

If you don't know one thing to do to squash her, temporarily or permanently, then you don't deserve consideration of a sane person, your disability notwithstanding, because there's ability in disability.

I like this comment. My plan is to remove her bargaining power, which is leaving my job, but I need something else to be doing to retain my role as the provider in the house.

Priam:






Sighs

And nobody is calling the woman to account and holding her responsible for cheating on her husband. If it were the other way round, all hail and brimstone would be let loose on the man's head.

Lol. I will tell you from first hand observation that the Op is at fault.How has the communication being not just night sex. I've worked with pastor and notice how the upcoming ones easily neglect their wives in their services. They soon forget that she wasn't called alongside them and hence need his attention too. She may want to complain but will be seen as the devil.From consultation to Bible study to revival to conference to midweek prayers to midnight intercession.

I know one Go his wife has been abroad for over 4 yrs even church elders have begged him to bring her home cos she is tired alone. Pst Oyahkhilome nko,the same story from the wife. NEGLECT!

If she's cheating I don't and will never support it but it is also here that alot of women have been told to watch warroom and change to red lacy undies to entice a cheating partner.

Siratro:


I like this comment. My plan is to remove her bargaining power, which is leaving my job, but I need something else to be doing to retain my role as the provider in the house.

Oh well, you already know what to do. Why bother?

LadySarah:


Oh well, you already know what to do. Why bother?

Looking for a new source of living is not that easy. If the plan takes 2 years, that means I will still be suffering from emotional pains for next two years.

Siratro:


Looking for a new source of living is not that easy. If the plan takes 2 years, that means I will still be suffering from emotional pains for next two years.

Start first. Not every plan takes 2 yrs.

Priam:






Sighs

And nobody is calling the woman to account and holding her responsible for cheating on her husband. If it were the other way round, all hail and brimstone would be let loose on the man's head.

The duty of a man is to make sure his woman doesn't need another man

When you are matured enough you will understand the meaning of this

frozen70:


The duty of a man is to make sure his woman doesn't need another man

When you are matured enough you will understand the meaning of this

You lied on this. No human owes the other that duty and it is about commitment. Stop trying to resort to blackmailing the male folks.

GboyegaD:


You lied on this. No human owes the other that duty and it is about commitment. Stop trying to resort to blackmailing the male folks.

Like I said, until you marry

frozen70:


Like I said, until you marry

Aunty, don't let's detail someone else's post trying to prove points. You don't know me and you are concluding on my martial status. Continue, you hear..

GboyegaD:


Aunty, don't let's detail someone else's post trying to prove points. You don't know me and you are concluding on my martial status. Continue, you hear..

Then let's end the it before it gets out of hand

Siratro:
I work as a pastor. Now I discover that my wife is no longer in love with me. She no longer agree to intercourse. I monitored her phone and found a man she's has been talking to all this while. There is no need fighting her because you can't force anyone to love you. I didn't even confront her.

I can't even try to divorce her because that means the end of my job. I don't even want to be separated from my only daughter she has for me because my daughter is my everything.

If I resign from my job, there is no hope of finding a new one because of my disability, and I have no money to set up a business with my skills.

The most painful of this is that I have inspired a lot of people who made it out of darkness alive.

But here I am a drowning being. To remark in the passing, I have been praying for a long while.

What kind of disability to do you have?
Being attached to any career shouldnt stop you from doing what you think is right for yourself.
How about your have a discussion with your wife on this? Find out what is really going on with her?
The disability (I pray it isn't the case) or whatever is going around her or you could be the reason she is pushed to the edge.
I hope you guys can resolve this and find happiness back into your lives again.