From a nation briefly gripped by Pandemic to that one profoundly odd fortnight where everybody communicated via Zoom quizzes, the COVID-19 pandemic has changed almost every aspect of everyday life – including our love lives. And as well as the ‘turbo relationship’ couples who moved in together at the start of lockdown and mid-pandemic break-ups, coronavirus is also impacting how we have sex. And, for anybody who doesn’t live with a sexual partner, regular hook-ups are (sadly) temporary off the table for now.

The question is, what does this all mean for the future of our sex lives, now that we know coronavirus is likely to stay in the picture for a long time? Here's what our sex lives will likely look like for the foreseeable.

The ex factor

Shagging your ex is the second biggest pandemic of 2020 – during quarantine, there has been a spike in contact with former flames. The Kinsey Institute found 1 in 5 people have reached out to an ex in lockdown for a variety of reasons, including: checking in, apologising for a past action, or suggesting sex.

Perhaps it’s because the stakes are higher right now when it comes to hooking up – imagine putting all of your lusty eggs in somebody else’s support bubble basket only to discover that you have all the sizzling chemistry of a satsuma and plank of wood? If you’re going to cycle literal miles in pursuit of the horn, you may as well get a couple of dependable orgasms out of it, no?

But before you hit send on that potentially ill-fated invite, just make sure you’ve taken off the rose-tinted glasses. “Even if you had a bad break up with somebody, people remember things fondly and forget that bit in times like this,” says Relate counsellor Dee Holmes. “You broke up for a reason.”

Like most respiratory viruses, COVID-19 is most commonly spread through droplet transmission – and things are extra risky when your face is up close and personal with somebody else’s. In Germany a poster did the rounds suggesting that doggy-style is safer than face-to-face sex positions like missionary for this reason: but before you put your hip out trying to perfect the art of the masked ‘rona reverse cowgirl, sex isn’t risk-free, even if it requires stunning levels of creativity.

“Ultimately any kind of sexual activity involving more than one person is going to involve some close physical contact,” says Margaret Searle, an education and wellbeing specialist at the sexual health charity Brook. “Now is not a good time to be having sex with new partners or with someone who doesn’t live in the same household as you. While this is frustrating, it definitely doesn’t mean that you can’t have an active sex life if you want to. During lockdown, you are your safest sex partner!

The current situation has presented us with a fantastic opportunity to enjoy masturbation or solo sex. “It can be a great way of relieving stress or exploring your own body and really discovering what you like – and it can be fun and pleasurable. Win, win!” Which leads us onto…

A wanking revolution

Thanks to lockdown people have a lot more time on their hands, and in many cases, these same idle hands have been grasping for shiny new intimacy gadgets. The German brand Womanizer said that sales were up by 50%, and Lovehoney also reported a surge in demand. And in the first two weeks of lockdown, intimacy gadget sales across the World increased by 23%.

For a lot of people lockdown has brought about more experimentation in general: according to the Kinsey Institute, 20% of people have made at least one new addition to their sex lives, whether that’s sharing fantasies, sexting for the first time, or trying out new things alone or with a partner. It turns out that intense boredom and a lingering sense of impending doom can be… kinda hot?

A shift in sexual fantasies

If your internal horn-a-logue has grown to resemble a raunchier version of a mountaineering brochure thanks to all these outdoor meetings, you’re not alone. According to a new study by the Kinsey Institute 1 in 5 people have found their fantasies have changed through lockdown, and more people are also choosing to share these fantasies with their sexual partners.

"People are reporting changes in their sexual fantasies right now"

“It’s not surprising to me that people are reporting changes in their sexual fantasies right now,” says Dr Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and author of the book Tell Me What You Want. “For some, fantasies are an escape from reality, and a chance to forget about what’s going on in the world. For others it’s about meeting unfulfilled emotional or sexual needs. It might also be another way for people to make sense of what’s going on in the world right now, using fantasy to grapple with certain anxieties and issues. This situation is stressful and unique, and we can’t necessarily meet our sexual and emotional needs in the ways we could in the past, and so people are turning inwards.”

Despite everything you’ve heard about things like corona porn, the Kinsey Institute hasn’t found any evidence suggesting any major shift towards COVID-19 themed fantasies – instead, we’re just fantasising more, full stop. “For all we’ve heard about people being turned on by this,” explains Dr Justin Lehmiller, “our data just doesn’t bear that out.”

Elongated courtships

Dating in 2020 has come to resemble a surreal modern-day remake of Pride and Prejudice – as well as lots of air-hugging and dancing around each other with imaginary measuring tapes, there’s been a lot of old fashioned courting. Pubs and bars have been out of the question until very recently, and so instead we’ve been messaging online for longer, picnicking in the park, and aggressively pivoting towards activities that don’t involve a bed. Or a desk. Or any kind of sex-suitable indoor furniture, for that matter.

This means that people are chatting for longer, and getting to know each other better before hooking up: Tinder, for example, found that users’ conversations are around 25% longer. And as Relate counsellor Dee Holmes points out, the current rules around social distancing – and whether or not your date is willing to break them – can also be a very early indicator of whether a relationship is going to work out.

“Sex isn’t a given for people now, it’s much more of a conversation: what’s your take on the pandemic, what’s your personal experience of it, what’s your view?” Dee says. “It will be interesting for people starting out in relationships. If one person is a bit blasé about it, and the other person is a frontline worker in a hospital… they may not want to continue a relationship. It’s not quite the same as politics, but people usually don’t address those kinds of big issues early on.”

Safer sex

Believe it or not, there is one serious upside to the pandemic and the collective shagging drought: a once-in-a-lifetime window for sexual health. “Lockdown has presented the world of sexual health with a unique opportunity to significantly decrease rates of STIs across the country,” explains Margaret Searle from Brook. “It’s fantastic! With people being unable to have sex with new partners this is a great opportunity to reduce STI transmission rates and encourage testing.” Loads of testing services quickly adapted to the challenges of lockdown, and as a result ordering an STI test online to do at home has never been easier.

Phrases like “the new normal” have been chucked around as society slowly creeps back towards normality, and as restrictions around social distancing ease, there’s hope that people’s attitudes towards safer sex in general will continue to shift. Durex’s latest ad campaign is focused around encouraging people to use condoms and other safer-sex barriers as they "get back out on the streets and jump back in the sheets". "We do feel that we have a rare opportunity to really make a difference during this time when face-to-face relationships are limited,” agrees Margaret.

So, coronavirus might well mark the start of a sexual revolution, but probably not in the dramatic way you’d first expect. Instead of welcoming in a new era of outdoor pursuits, masked-up erotica or contortionist sex positions, perhaps lockdown might lead to a quieter kind of transformation.

As Joni Mitchell once warbled on ‘Big Yellow Taxi', “you don't know what you've got ‘til it's gone”. And hopefully the lockdown might afford us a little more time to experiment and figure out an important philosophical question: what do we really want when we’re free to bone to our hearts’ content again?

In all the lockdown may just be a blessing in disguise. Enjoy it while it lasts. Explore your sexual fantasy today message us for more info.

Wanking has saved more people money that could have gone down on Okpo, to less emotional entanglement and more focus in life than getting distracted every two seconds because of pun@ni ducatti

NaijaDonCast:
Wanking has saved more people money that could have gone down on Okpo, to less emotional entanglement and more focus in life than getting distracted every two seconds because of pun@ni ducatti

Wanking been saving lot of Ladies more than the Men. It's truly a life saver, but I'll rather drill s pussy than to self-service sincerely. Except maybe you found yourself at a place scarce of Pussy .