Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,151,772 members, 7,813,562 topics. Date: Tuesday, 30 April 2024 at 01:58 PM

What Should She Do? - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Should She Do? (2436 Views)

(2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 6:47pm On Sep 05, 2020
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.
Re: What Should She Do? by dingbang(m): 6:54pm On Sep 05, 2020
She should continue with her federal job in delta state.

14 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 6:54pm On Sep 05, 2020
dingbang:
She should continue with her federal job in delta state.


And forgo the marriage?

1 Like

Re: What Should She Do? by SweetCunt97(f): 6:57pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:



And forgo the marriage?
Yes. Unless he has a job for her in Abuja or he'll give her money to start the business if not, she should forget about him. How can a sane person ask a lady to quit her govt job? As per demigod wey him be or his he a millionaire? Abeg o

25 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by dingbang(m): 6:57pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:



And forgo the marriage?
and forgo the situationship

14 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by longetivity(m): 6:59pm On Sep 05, 2020
her choice her life
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:00pm On Sep 05, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Yes. Unless he has a job for her in Abuja or he'll give her money to start the business if not, she should forget about him. How can a sane person ask a lady to quit her govt job? As per demigod wey him be or his he a millionaire? Abeg o


Lol

He accepts to help her start a business. The question is how well she'll do in business for someone that has never tried.
As man wey him be�
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:01pm On Sep 05, 2020
dingbang:
and forgo the situationship

What makes it a situationship ?
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:01pm On Sep 05, 2020
longetivity:
her choice her life

Thanks for the elaborate contribution dear.
Re: What Should She Do? by magnificient7: 7:02pm On Sep 05, 2020
Are they married now?
Has wedding plans commence?
Or has a wedding date been fixed?

If the answer is no, no even reason to quit.

If the answer is yes, then she can start searching for a job in abuja

3 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by dingbang(m): 7:03pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:


What makes it a situationship ?

the moment you created a thread about it, trust me, it became a situationship

4 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:04pm On Sep 05, 2020
dingbang:
the moment you created a thread about it, trust me, it became a situationship

I see
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:04pm On Sep 05, 2020
magnificient7:
Are they married now?
Has wedding plans commence?
Or has a wedding date been fixed?

If the answer is no, no even reason to quit.

If the answer is yes, then she can start searching for a job in abuja


And if she doesn't get one?
Re: What Should She Do? by Klass99(f): 7:24pm On Sep 05, 2020
.

6 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by dingbang(m): 7:25pm On Sep 05, 2020
Klass99:


Dem use marriage swear for us in Africa?

If you no marry this guy, you no go see another one marry or you go die?

I am assuming this is about you and not a friend.
I swear...
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 7:26pm On Sep 05, 2020
Klass99:


Dem use marriage swear for us in Africa?

If you no marry this guy, you no go see another one marry or you go die?

I am assuming this is about you and not a friend.


I never even asserted it was my friend.
You are right to make your assumptions though.
You can now go ahead and make a concise contribution.


PS : you're angry sha tongue
Re: What Should She Do? by mariahAngel(f): 7:32pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:



And forgo the marriage?
Imagine the question... undecided
Re: What Should She Do? by Klass99(f): 7:34pm On Sep 05, 2020
.

12 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by dingbang(m): 7:35pm On Sep 05, 2020
Klass99:


Dem use marriage swear for us in Africa?

If you no marry this guy, you no go see another one marry or you go die?

I am assuming this is about you and not a friend.



Mad!! Nairalanders and bad mouth, lol grin
lmao. cheesy na true na. Because na so so I miss you I miss you too , I wish I was there with you yarns everyday

3 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by Gloriagee(f): 7:39pm On Sep 05, 2020
After quitting the job, he'll call her a leech. Na today?

SweetCunt97:
Yes. Unless he has a job for her in Abuja or he'll give her money to start the business if not, she should forget about him. How can a sane person ask a lady to quit her govt job? As per demigod wey him be or his he a millionaire? Abeg o

2 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by bukatyne(f): 7:40pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.

Move to Abuja as what? Wife? Fiancee? Girlfriend? Bedmate?

Oga has already told you he will retract his end of the bargain (what end: relationship/proposal) if thee distance interfers (which it will because it is a long distance).

Smart guy! Doesn't want to carry the guilt of a breakup so he gives you conditions like 'I will move on if water makes me wet' or 'if petrol makes my car move' or 'if air makes my balloon float'.

You better te pa mose: if the relationship would be, it would.

If it won't, let it die a natural death.

4 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by Gloriagee(f): 7:42pm On Sep 05, 2020
U sure the guy doesn't wanna bail. If the guy is worth it, she can work a transfer after a while. Her marriage cert should suffice. She should do her due diligence sha...

Rosebloom:
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.

1 Like

Re: What Should She Do? by socialmediaman: 7:48pm On Sep 05, 2020
@Rosebloom

If they are not married yet or planning their marriage, leaving her job for Abuja may be a bit of an expensive risk, except she can easily get another job there. Whatever is the case, she should note that what the guy made was an offer that works for him, she should make a decision that works for her as well... it's her decision, and the guy legally doesn't owe her anything if it doesn't work out later.

What she could do in the interim is visit more often if that will help, that seems like a good sacrifice to make for your relationship. But do not quit your job at the convenience of a guy if you're not sure you both are getting married and building a life together
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 8:07pm On Sep 05, 2020
bukatyne:


Move to Abuja as what? Wife? Fiancee? Girlfriend? Bedmate?

Oga has already told you he will retract his end of the bargain (what end: relationship/proposal) if thee distance interfers (which it will because it is a long distance).

Smart guy! Doesn't want to carry the guilt of a breakup so he gives you conditions like 'I will move on if water makes me wet' or 'if petrol makes my car move' or 'if air makes my balloon float'.

You better te pa mose: if the relationship would be, it would.

If it won't, let it die a natural death.

They are getting ready to be married but he said he would not for the sake of her job be in a long distance marriage.
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 8:08pm On Sep 05, 2020
Gloriagee:
U sure the guy doesn't wanna bail. If the guy is worth it, she can work a transfer after a while. Her marriage cert should suffice. She should do her due diligence sha...


You have a point.
Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 8:11pm On Sep 05, 2020
Klass99:


Lol grin, sweet heart I have made my contribution in the first sentence.

My cousin, gave up a good job in Abuja when she said yes to a marriage proposal and relocated to be with her hubby after the wedding/marriage rites.

She is not a happy woman several years after, in that marriage or state she moved to, because work opportunities are very limited.

She was even proposed to, dem never propose to you (or has he?) And even if he has, until you become his wife proper by our traditional customs/practices in Naija, do not quit your job.

Lol at your last sentence. I'm not angry I just hate the way we carry marriage on top of our head in this part of the world. With so much frenzy and feverish anxiety.....like what's the big deal nah?


Sorry about your cousin.
They're engaged. He's practically saying she'll quit once they've tied the knot.

Big deal about something that's so stressful, especially for the woman. I get you jare.
Re: What Should She Do? by Klass99(f): 8:23pm On Sep 05, 2020
.
Re: What Should She Do? by merieam16(f): 8:34pm On Sep 05, 2020
dingbang:
and forgo the situationship
or the conditionship cheesy
Re: What Should She Do? by merieam16(f): 8:36pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:




As man wey him be�
Shey na d man won start business cos i no understand dis ur half baked story

1 Like

Re: What Should She Do? by bukatyne(f): 8:38pm On Sep 05, 2020
Rosebloom:


They are getting ready to be married but he said he would not for the sake of her job be in a long distance marriage.

I am sorry, I do not like the tone of the husband to be.

He sounds like he is doing the girl a favor and very uncommitted to the union.

He doesn't want a long distance marriage (fair), he doesn't want a housewife (fair).

What is he doing to ensure it works out?

Babe is currently working at Warri: have they discussed she can get a transfer to Abuja? If yes, what are the prerequisites?

If no, what is the plan? When do they plan to get married? Is he actively looking for a job at Abuja? Is her line such that she can do stuff on her own? Is he working towards that?

What is he doing to ensure that things wok out for them apart from telling the lady what he wants/doesn't want?

Is he interested in the future career/ plans of the lady or is he the type of 'I don't want a liability' husband so his goal is an earning wife and not a wife growing in something worthwhile?

I think the lady has to ascertain he is marriage worthy or he is fit to give her the kind of marriage she wants before thinking of moving or transferring to meet him.

These are pointers to the kind of husband he would be.

Except she is a 'man na man, all men are the same' type of lady.

4 Likes

Re: What Should She Do? by Rosebloom: 8:40pm On Sep 05, 2020
bukatyne:


I am sorry, I do not like the tone of the husband to be.

He sounds like he is doing the girl a favor and very uncommitted to the union.

He doesn't want a long distance marriage (fair), he doesn't want a housewife (fair).

What is he doing to ensure it works out?

Babe is currently working at Warri: have they discussed she can get a transfer to Abuja? If yes, what are the prerequisites?

If no, what is the plan? When do they plan to get married? Is he actively looking for a job at Abuja? Is her line such that she can do stuff on her own? Is he working towards that?

What is he doing to ensure that things wok out for them apart from telling the lady what he wants/doesn't want?

Is he interested in the future career/ plans of the lady or is he the type of 'I don't want a liability' husband so his goal is an earning wife and not a wife growing in something worthwhile?

I think the lady has to ascertain he is marriage worthy or he is fit to give her the kind of marriage she wants before thinking of moving or transferring to meet him.

These are pointers to the kind of husband he would be.

Except she is a 'man na man, all men are the same' type of lady.


This is very illuminating.
Lol @man na man. That's the mantra of desperate ladies.

1 Like

Re: What Should She Do? by mariahAngel(f): 8:44pm On Sep 05, 2020
bukatyne:


I am sorry, I do not like the tone of the husband to be.

He sounds like he is doing the girl a favor and very uncommitted to the union.

He doesn't want a long distance marriage (fair), he doesn't want a housewife (fair).

What is he doing to ensure it works out?

Babe is currently working at Warri: have they discussed she can get a transfer to Abuja? If yes, what are the prerequisites?

If no, what is the plan? When do they plan to get married? Is he actively looking for a job at Abuja? Is her line such that she can do stuff on her own? Is he working towards that?

What is he doing to ensure that things wok out for them apart from telling the lady what he wants/doesn't want?

Is he interested in the future career/ plans of the lady or is he the type of 'I don't want a liability' husband so his goal is an earning wife and not a wife growing in something worthwhile?

I think the lady has to ascertain he is marriage worthy or he is fit to give her the kind of marriage she wants before thinking of moving or transferring to meet him.

These are pointers to the kind of husband he would be.

Except she is a 'man na man, all men are the same' type of lady.

O tie ti wa sun eyan

1 Like

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

Classical Dilemma:to Go Or Not? / My Chat With An Unclad Girl In A Pool Party: Parents Read! / Guys, 'prenuptial Agreement' To Avoid Alimony, Palimony And D Monies?

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 49
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.