Rosebloom:



And forgo the marriage?

Rosebloom:
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.

Biglittlelois:



To you, marriage is worth quitting your govt job for, wow, I want to be like you in NEVERLAND

Rosebloom:


They are getting ready to be married but he said he would not for the sake of her job be in a long distance marriage.

Rosebloom:



And forgo the marriage?

Rosebloom:

Biglittlelois:



Why should there be a "but" if he's ready to marry you? If he is all in, he will be all in,

@boldened is him indirectly telling you he is no more interested, he wants you to either choose him or the job,

I'm sorry but the fact that you're considering it to the extent of creating a thread is annoying.

Biglittlelois:



Not funny sis, he should go to hades, do not quit your job because of him, you'll meet someone else where you reside.

Rosebloom:
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.

Whyzaid:
Is the man also working with the federal govt? If yes, she can move to abuja. But if no, let her stay in delta o n later work on her transfer to Abuja

Rosebloom:



And if she doesn't get one?

GuyInTheMirror:
I took my time to read through all the responses.
The reality is that poverty has dealt with majority of Nigerians and that has changed the way we reason, behave and act.

From the responses it is obvious majority of Nigerian ladies would not hesitate to sleep with their bosses if that will help them to keep their jobs .

I do not blame you sha, poverty can be very devastating.

How can so many people agree that a job is worth keeping than a supposedly good marriage if not poverty ?

This is my advise, if you think the man is a good man and has financial dependence my suggestion is to quit your job or look for a transfer if possible.

If the man is a good man, and he is working, the money he makes is for you. Except if you are not sure he is a good man(A christian with good values and will be faithful and protect you) .

When you are poor you think money is everything, when you have money you will realise money is just a tool . Do not make the mistake many ladies have made by putting career before marriage.

Lastly, I myself will never agree to a long distance marriage, some men like me respect family so much that a long distance marriage is a no no especially if it is the wife that is on the road .

Goodluck.

UjuJoan2:


I guess it's all a gamble. A lot of women have put their marriages before careers and gotten burnt as well. It could go either way, really.

What matters is the kind of man she is planning to marry. Is he worth the gamble?

I myself would quit any job if I thought the man would not turn on me the moment I stopped earning and making financial contributions. I don't think anything justifies newly married couples living apart.

So the question remains . . . Is the man worth the sacrifice? Only the OP can answer that question.

Rosebloom:
This lady recently got a federal job in Delta and met a guy who resides in Abuja .
He proposed and they had agreed she'll work for at least two years while they try long distance.

After they had been in the relationship for a while the guy told her while he agrees to the arrangement he'll retract his end of the bargain if the long distance interferes(he was basically saying he doesn't want long distance). Suggested rather she quit and come look for a job in Abuja or start a business.

Note that he also does not want a stay at home wife.

Quit what?
He is selfish and self centered. That is an act of wizardry

Diamond23:
Quit what?
He is selfish and self centered. That is an act of wizardry

GuyInTheMirror:


You get the point, I see too many women around me with great careers having to be begging men for relationship cause of age. If the man is a good man, and you are sure he got your back as a lady.
Career can wait, you will catch up with it later . A good man may not always be around.

Gloriagee:
After quitting the job, he'll call her a leech. Na today?

GuyInTheMirror:
I took my time to read through all the responses.
The reality is that poverty has dealt with majority of Nigerians and that has changed the way we reason, behave and act.

From the responses it is obvious majority of Nigerian ladies would not hesitate to sleep with their bosses if that will help them to keep their jobs .

I do not blame you sha, poverty can be very devastating.

How can so many people agree that a job is worth keeping than a supposedly good marriage if not poverty ?

This is my advise, if you think the man is a good man and has financial dependence my suggestion is to quit your job or look for a transfer if possible.

If the man is a good man, and he is working, the money he makes is for you. Except if you are not sure he is a good man(A christian with good values and will be faithful and protect you) .

When you are poor you think money is everything, when you have money you will realise money is just a tool . Do not make the mistake many ladies have made by putting career before marriage.

Lastly, I myself will never agree to a long distance marriage, some men like me respect family so much that a long distance marriage is a no no especially if it is the wife that is on the road .

Goodluck.

GuyInTheMirror:

This is an example of what I am saying, when people see Job as the ultimate thing in life that they put job before family.
Then you know there is problem, how much is the salary.

I have seen people quit jobs and relocate without an assurance of job cause of family.
A good family comes before a job, you can get another job but if you loose the chance for a great family or spouse, you might not be able to get another.

GuyInTheMirror:

This is an example of what I am saying, when people see Job as the ultimate thing in life that they put job before family.
Then you know there is problem, how much is the salary.

I have seen people quit jobs and relocate without an assurance of job cause of family.
A good family comes before a job, you can get another job but if you loose the chance for a great family or spouse, you might not be able to get another.

GuyInTheMirror:


You get the point, I see too many women around me with great careers having to be begging men for relationship cause of age. If the man is a good man, and you are sure he got your back as a lady.
Career can wait, you will catch up with it later . A good man may not always be around .

UjuJoan2:


I guess it's all a gamble. A lot of women have put their marriages before careers and gotten burnt as well. It could go either way, really.

What matters is the kind of man she is planning to marry. Is he worth the gamble?

I myself would quit any job if I thought the man would not turn on me the moment I stopped earning and making financial contributions. I don't think anything justifies newly married couples living apart.

So the question remains . . . Is the man worth the sacrifice? Only the OP can answer that question.

angelfallz:
i have always said this, "men know what you want" many men want housewives but are too scared to say so.
as for the lady, she should ask the man point blank, if he wants a housewife.
she should also realise that he has not married her, therefore giving up her work when marriage is not guaranteed.....
a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

mariahAngel:


O tie ti wa sun eyan

descarado:
Wait till after marriage, then apply for transfer. As long as it's federal job, u will be granted one.

A guy is already dictating you should quit your job. Serious red flag. But we hardly take note cos we are so much in love.