https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4E4e6AdLY8


The bible says through wisdom a house is built. So money is important but it is with wisdom that money is obtained and a house is built. Wisdom is a function of maturity. If you want to find the right mate you must first of all become the right mate.

All of us human beings are magnets and you don't attract what you want in life, you attract who you are.

So it all begins with vision.

Marriage is something that you go into for the future. Your decision today concerning who to marry is going to impact your life 20,30,40,50 years from now.

So it's about vision... That capacity to see the future before it happens is a function of wisdom, which is a function of maturity.

The more accurately you can decipher the future, the more accurate your decisions will be today. If in your future you see yourself becoming a CEO, that vision will get you recognize opportunities for becoming one and people that will help you in becoming one.

Vision is the key to provision. There's money everywhere, flowing around earth but most people don't know because they can't see it.

If your mind is filled with poverty you will not recognize the opportunities for prosperity.

You will only identify with opportunities for poverty and if your mind is filled with prosperity you will recognize the opportunities for prosperity.

So it all begins with you as a person and your vision for the future.

A game you can play is to write out a vision of how you see yourself, the room you'll wake up in, how your house, spouse and kids will look like, what kind of car you'll drive to work. What work or office will look like and so on.

It's a fantastic thing to do because the best time to shape or control tomorrow is while it is still in fluid state; and you can do that in your imagination.

Today was set yesterday in our imagination. Because if you don't have a dream of the future for yourself, you will have to live someone else's dream or vision.

That vision will define the kind of person you should marry.

But then the kind of a person you should marry in that vision will depend on the kind of a person you should be.

The kind of a person you are going to be will determine the kind of a person you should marry now.

You have to define the future first. It's interesting how many people never think beyond today.

So they just see someone "he looks handsome, she looks beautiful..."

"He has a good job".
Will he have a good job? "He has a fine car, he's very comfortable"... Will he be comfortable?

We're talking about 10,20,30,40 years of your life. That's why you need to know who you are now, you need to know who you're going to be and then that can influence the kind of a person that you're going to marry.

When you look at that picture of your future, the most important person in that picture is you.

You in that picture is the magnet that will attract everything else that you see in that picture.

Every human being is a magnet so who you're going to become will determine the kind of people you'll attract.

If that vision will ever be fulfilled my encouragement to you; become the person in the vision.

If in the vision you see yourself becoming a CEO, of course everything else will adjust to that standard (car you'll drive, house you live in, spouse you marry etc). If you want to attract everything else in that vision you first of all have to grow to the size of that vision.

And that brings us back to the fact of you becoming the right mate first: MATURITY, WISDOM.

Regarding maturity, Luke 2:52 can be used as a template as it describes how Jesus matured. It says "and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and was in favor with God and men."

Four dimensions to his life where Jesus grew and experienced development.

1. He grew in wisdom - that talks about his mental development. He got training, he developed his sense of judgement. He developed his thinking, he acquired skills.

He was a carpenter, his father was a carpenter that groomed and trained him. Mark 6:3 says "people looked at Jesus and said is this not the carpenter..." And when I say carpenter don't just think that means furniture maker alone. The Greek word there tekton implies more of a project manager.

So Jesus developed skill and expertise. So he grew in wisdom.

2. He grew in stature - meaning he grew physically.

3. He was in favor with God - talks about his spiritual development. He grew spiritually to the extent God said "this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased."

4. He was in favor with men - talks about his social and emotional development. His ability to relate with other people.

So my challenge today is this; if you want to attract or recognize the right person for you to marry, you need to grow, you need to mature. You need to become the ones if person that will attract the ideal kind of person. In 1 Cor 13:11 Paul said when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child. But when I became a man I put away childish things. (Paraphrased)

That's maturity. In Galatians 4 Paul spoke about someone who got a great inheritance but did not have the capacity to manage it because of immaturity.

Everything that you need to fulfill your destiny is already provided.

The person that your going to marry is alive already. It's not that your prayer and your fasting now that will cause God to remember that you actually need someone to marry and He will create the person and put the person in his or her mother's womb and then you will wait 20 or 25 years before you will marry. Your husband is around, your wife is around.

We only need recognition. God will never position beyond your reach what is yours.

Galatians 4: 1-2 paraphrased says A christian is master of all but as long as he is a child he is no different from a slave in his thinking he will continue begging for what is already his.

His thinking is not correct enough to manage the resources that have been provided for him.

So how do we solve this problem? Verse 2 says but he is under guardians and stewards until the time appointed by the Father.
Training, development, growth.

Sam Adeyemi - "So my encouragement today is for you to become good husband material, good wife material."

And for you to be able to attract the person you best suit to fulfill God's plan and purpose for your life.

You need to grow spiritually.

How do we know when you have grown spiritually?

1. You develop the ability to hear from God

2. You put absolute trust in God

3. You obey God

The more you hear from God the more you grow spiritually. The more you grow spiritually, the more you develop the ability to hear from God.

The way physical food grows your physical body is the way revelation grows your spirit. When you hear from God you have to trust Him and when you trust Him you obey Him.

Even at the risk of your life you realize that's the only definition of success for you.

You have to grow mentally. Marriage is not for boys and girls, it's for men and women.

So it's obvious even in terms of physiology a 12 year old child shouldn't be getting pregnant and giving birth to babies because the body is not strong enough for that assignment.

So there's need for physical maturity. Next is emotional maturity, social maturity. It's called emotional intelligence- the ability to relate with other people.

You've got to develop the ability to love people genuinely, to accept people for who they are. You've got to sharpen your communication skills because marriage is 85% communication.

If something goes wrong with your communication something goes wrong with the marriage.

Have you developed tact? (Proverbs 15:1) Tact is your ability to know and feel how somebody will feel after you would have said what you want to say. You predict how the person will feel which will inform how you say what you want to say.

There's a tight thing to say, there's a right way to say it, and there's a right time to say it.

That's why Solomon says a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. So there are fit words.

When we communicate wrongly we create problems in our relationship. If you're the one busy picking quarrels with everyone around you, they are not the problem, you are

We need to mature socially and emotionally. In the process of developing in all the previously mentioned areas, we become the kind of a person that will attract the ideal person.

The key factor here is vision. You pray, you get a sensing from God of your purpose in life and what your future looks like.

This makes it easier for you to identify your husband or to identify your wife.

Recognizing your husband or wife is beyond an activity of your physical eyes but more on the level of your spiritual eyes.

There challenge I see with a lot of young people is they're looking for the ideal man or woman.

You know what? Your ideal man is already married, your ideal wife is already married. That's why some people fall in love with married people.

They're not married yet but they fall in love with married people.

A lot of the time, this married person who looks perfect in their eyes, wasn't like that when he or she got married.

If in your vision your husband is a CEO, can you recognize him when he's not yet a CEO?

When Pastor Nike and I got married we were not there way we are now. It has taken investments.

This is why I have an issue with guys who are almost turning bachelor-hood into an institution.

There are loads of people who are not getting married because they want to get a mansion and to have some money and cars.

They already have a job but say things like "how can you marry someone when you're not yet financially settled?"

And they're waiting to have an ideal financial situation. And I'm telling you if you're in that situation you've been deceived.

What a lady needs is not a perfect man in the present. This thing is about 10,20,30,40 years time.

What she needs is a man who has a vision. Who can define exactly where he's going and who he's going to be.

When Pastor Nike and I got engaged, in fact it was after we were courting to be married that we discussed our salaries.

And I discovered that her allowance as a youth corper was more than my salary as a Pastor.

And the day I told her my salary I will told her it's not going to be like that forever, I am going somewhere.

I described the future for her and told her even though we will help each other at the beginning, there is coming a time I will ask you to keep your salary. I will bear the responsibility for this family fully.

That's the essence of leadership, you have a vision and you have the capacity to communicate it.

You should be able to sell your vision to a lady.

Ladies if all of your assessment of a man is about who the person is today you will soon be deceived because; the fact that he has a car now is no guarantee he will have a car in five years time.

Making a choice of marriage partner is largely a matter of intuition. Some people all they think about is the wedding day. One day: they invest all their thoughts, energy, and preparation for one day.

After the wedding and honeymoon they end up not knowing what next because all they were thinking about was the wedding. After every wedding comes a marriage. Prepare more for the marriage than the wedding.

Who is this person going to be?

The reason why your becoming mature is critical, your spiritual maturity is the key thing; your greatest asset in finding someone to marry is your ability to hear from God.

Nobody can predict your future or guarantee what you will turn out to be 20,30 years from now except God

You need to take time to pray. Catch a vision of your future and then you can marry someone who aligns with that future.

Now once your vision of that future is defined, your values will be defined. Your values are the things that are very important to you. If you value spirituality, the fear of God, you've got to marry someone who also values spirituality or else you're going to crack that home up right from the foundation

If you value honesty the person also has to value honesty. If you value family, you need to marry someone who also values family. Your basic values need to align.

You may have a few differences but your basic, foundational and core values need to align. That is why you need to grow and mature.

Because when you are not yet mature your values are not yet defined.

Proverbs 31 shows the story of a woman preparing a man for his future and it touched on marriage. Remember you don't attract what you want, you attract who you are.

She's telling her son, you are palace material look kinda your future son you are becoming a king. Now that should define your life, define your principles, define your values.

You can't go around sleeping with girls. That will spoil your reputation by the time you become a king. You'll be trying to manage your reputation bribing people here and there not to talk to the press or the media.

You can't fool around with drugs and alcohol. As a king the essence of leadership is empowering the powerless. Standing up for the helpless.

As soon to be King Lemuel's mother advised him on leadership preparation; she also advised him on preparing to find a wife for marriage.

If you are kingship material or palace material you need to marry someone who is also palace material. Someone who has the qualities of a queen.

That's what she went on to describe. Once your future is defined, who to marry will be defined. It's not everyone that is husband material for you.

Not every woman is wife material for you. If as a woman you are queen material, your husband has to be king material. So it will make it easy for you to make a decision. There are loafers who can't hang around you because your future is defined, you've discovered your purpose. It helps.

Don't use natural phenomena or circumstances to decide who to marry, you may make a big mistake. Things are not going to remain the way they are now.

Pastor Sam Adeyemi - If anybody looked at me with my few shirts and trousers and a white pair of shoes, no car and I toasted the person and the person refused; it was the person's loss because the person didn't have eyes. There are powerful guys in this Church (Daystar Christian Center) and you need open eyes to recognize them.

What you're looking for on the outside they already have in their hearts because they've discovered their vision. There are powerful ladies in this Church.

Charm is deceitful, beauty is passing. Don't look at things the way they are now.

You may look at the lady and look at how she's miss your home town e.g Miss Nigeria. What's she going to be like 10 years from now? When she's pregnant what will her attitude be? When she has children to take care of what kind of a person is she going to be like? That's why some people many years after they've married and now they've experienced promotion they want to divorce the person they married because "this person now doesn't suit my position as the new federal minister of industries (as an example)."

Some people ask, "what if a lady is older than me?" I don't know if there's any portion of scripture that insists that the man must always be older. The only thing is you have to be very careful, if there is a wide disparity in the age, you may be in two different generations and it may affect your understanding and perspectives.

Prayer
I prophesy in the name of Jesus that today marks the end of delay. I prophesy miracles of divine connection in the mighty name of Jesus.

God will give you peace, He will give you love in your marriage, He will give you joy in the name of Jesus Christ.

Crowd responds: amen


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Important to know for youths

Friday wisdom nuggets

Good morning all

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