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What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? - Family (14) - Nairaland

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Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Newboss(m): 10:22pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:

The got to know of where I'm working. I don't know who told them. They arranged with someone I was relating with to bring them to my house. When I got Intel about it. Warned the person not to bring anyone to my house and dissociated with the person. Now they are saying I'm rich and don't want to help anyone but I don't care.

You're on the right path. Don't let anyone guilt trip you. Those guys are dead to you. In fact, they never existed

3 Likes

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Digableplanets6(m): 10:24pm On Sep 19, 2020
Forgive them and forget they exist OP,best advice so far.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by SecretSpy666: 10:24pm On Sep 19, 2020
Lordkratus:
I hope you read my comment, bro cut them off and cut off people that might even want to link you to them , trust me you will not regret it. The only regret you will get is connecting with both of them. It will be a sad tale
Thanks. I read your comments
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by luminouz(m): 10:24pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:

There are schools that incorporates their part time students to their regular students list before submitting it to NYSC. They gave us NYSC form and we filled it and our names came out. That was before the online registration started, some years ago

Really? And what's the issh with your Jan 10 story about using 28k to marry. You even had a son.

In this thread,you said you are planning to marry...

Why the discrepancies? embarassed

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by lastchild: 10:26pm On Sep 19, 2020
capnies:
Change your phone number now. But if any of them trace you and apologize you can forgive that one but for now they are yet to realize what they did to you if your story is true ooooo
why ending with "if your story is true ooo" Nigerians and the way they think

once you see any story up here, just treat it like it's true, because even if it's a lie, just have it at back of your mind that someone somewhere is passing through the same thing
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Newboss(m): 10:29pm On Sep 19, 2020
mariahAngel:


Have they at least asked for your forgiveness?

Asking a "rich man" for forgiveness is usually a strategy. Don't be nice. Stay woke. Do not play yourself
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by chris51(f): 10:32pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.


If your story is true, I sympathise with you. Your parents don't deserve to benefit from you. Ignore the demands of their children and live your life.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by chris51(f): 10:32pm On Sep 19, 2020
chris51:



If your story is true, I sympathise with you. Your parents don't deserve to benefit from you. Ignore the demands of their children and live your life.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by gregyboy(m): 10:33pm On Sep 19, 2020
capnies:
Change your phone number now. But if any of them trace you and apologize you can forgive that one but for now they are yet to realize what they did to you if your story is true ooooo

Guy nor allow me curse you ogun, ebilike say u go fit do that thing hoping your child go forgive you
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Newboss(m): 10:33pm On Sep 19, 2020
mariahAngel:


The sense of entitlement is annoyingly epic! I can't deal! Oh em gee! grin

Those are some African parents for you. I don't think they even realize the level of damage their abandonment did, let alone they trying to seek for genuine forgiveness.
If they were any reasonable, remorse and guilt should be what they feel more than anything.

No such thing as genuine forgiveness. Cut them off. They should be dead to you. Resist the urge to be nice
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by hansomb: 10:41pm On Sep 19, 2020
Your parents are still your parent no matter what. Probably if u have not gone what you experienced you will not b where you are today. The only time you can go against your parents is if they try to stop you from worshipping God. Everything happens for a reason in this life. Your parents are still your parent. Let's go of the Hate and grudges. At least your parents never aborted you or throw you into gutter as most boyfriend n girlfriend or some couples do this day. For that alone be grateful to them and God.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Nobody: 10:41pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

No sane woman will marry you bro.
I won't let my sister.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by lion501: 10:43pm On Sep 19, 2020
Forgive them sincerely. But keep them at arms length. Cut all communications...



The heart of man is desperately wicked.



Want to reap where you did not sow.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by mariahAngel(f): 10:43pm On Sep 19, 2020
Newboss:


No such thing as genuine forgiveness. Cut them off. They should be dead to you. Resist the urge to be nice

Sigh!

So, if you were in his position, where would you call home? You know...like your homeland?
Where would you belong?
Would you be OK having no sense of belonging after cutting off everyone? Especially as a man....
What would become of your children
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by TDonald: 10:44pm On Sep 19, 2020
If this story is true, Na Ogun go kill those people wey call themselves your parents

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by mariahAngel(f): 10:48pm On Sep 19, 2020
Sailor22:


No sane woman will marry you bro.
I won't let my sister.

Why would you say that to someone who's down already?
Let us try to be kind with our words
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Emmyloyalty: 10:56pm On Sep 19, 2020
Ishilove:

Toh. We should honour incubators and sperm donors who do not give a fvck about their children. I hear you
Don't hear me, hear the Bible. The word of God is complete.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by ALVA001: 10:59pm On Sep 19, 2020
dalass:


My brother, thank you and that's correct... The man just got job and they're shameless enough to come to him.... They will finish him. He's got 12 siblings!!! Plus dad and mom, total 14 in one man's neck!

Let him build more and render help as he sees fit else he will be poor as anything with that kind of load..


My sister thank you and that's thoughtful of you ❤️♥️♥️. But a widows mite won't kill him. Or better still kind words of assurance to them.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by greypencils: 11:07pm On Sep 19, 2020
Bro, they are beginning to get to you. That's why you brought this story on social media. Deep down you are hurt but you still feel some attachment to them that's why you brought this story here. All I would say is that you get your head right and emotionally detach yourself from them. It's not easy because they are your blood. But it must be done. Because the truth is they don't care about you. Accept that truth and don't try to go closer to any of them because they will still hurt you. Anything you wanna do to help, if you want to do it, remember to remain emotionally detached. It's hard but it's needful.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Eluala(m): 11:12pm On Sep 19, 2020
If you want to live the rest of your peacefully, never succumb to any form of emotional blackmail to bring those people into your life.

You can forgive, but never forget. You don't deserve those kind of people as family. You have always been by yourself and managed to survive by so much blood and sweat and now they come to your for what exactly? To kill and end it all?

Be wise and use your head. You don't need them, they were never there when you did so what difference will their presence make now?

Mind your business, block their numbers or in fact change your number and mind your business. Find a loving woman and marry, settle down and build your own family with love and peace. Never bring any of those people into your life for your own safety and good.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by 2kurupt(m): 11:14pm On Sep 19, 2020
Hmmm, this story looks doctored. Part-time programme graduates are given straight exemption from NYSC. Someone correct me if am wrong.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Socialproject: 11:31pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:

Thanks bro
I second!
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Manageme: 11:31pm On Sep 19, 2020
Pls o they made there choice, build you own home .
They still don't care about you only your money.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Socialproject: 11:31pm On Sep 19, 2020
Mstick:
I know all this sentimental and religious nutjobs will try to emotionally manipulate you, but your parents deserve to be left where they were when you needed them.

I can't imagine not running to my child when they need my support. So you obviously know they're not coming to you because they love you but because they want to use you.


I second this !
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by passionberry(f): 11:45pm On Sep 19, 2020
SecretSpy666:
Greetings Nairalanders,
I want to seek for you peoples opinions regarding my family challenges.

I'm from a broken home. My parents divorced when I was a child of two years. I'm the only child from their union. My father and mother abandoned me and remarried to other spouse each. I passed through hell growing up with relatives who insulted me with all kinds of names and I was treated like a slave to their own children.

Because of public outcry about my dehumanizing treatment, my father came to village and took me to the city. It was from fry pan to fire experience as my father's new wife was maltreating me. At a point, my father asked me to leave his house that since my arrival, he don't have peace with his wife.

I packed to the house of a relative and work in a block industry to help myself. Most times, I slept in a CAC church close to the relative house as the two-room apartment is not enough for his family. My mother never care if I was alive. She never call me nor reply to letter I sent through someone to her. I continued working in the block industry and started a part time programme. I completed the part time programme and did my NYSC and master degree. I got a job with University of Ado Ekiti with the help of a course mate, managing myself now and surprisingly my mother and father started calling me often.

Both of them have 6 children each with their respective second spouse. Mother want his son to come and live with me, I refused and my father too have been requesting for financial assistance which I also refused. I don't want to have anything to do with both of them. My father's daughter recently called me to help her with school fees, I bluntly told her to ask her mother what she did to me and caught the call. Since then, she never call.

I'm alone and have just two friends. I don't have family. All of them calling now are just looking for what to get from me, not that they care about me. My mother never call me once to ask about my welfare even when I sent my phone number to her through her relative. I wrote WAEC, completed degree course before she started calling me and it is only to request for one thing or other. I'm planning to get married without telling them and build a separate family.

Hmmm.sorry about that, almost same story as mine even whn my dad died I nver attended his burial we are just two I& my bro..my parents separated when I was tender ..no fatherly love ,my mom tried tho saw us thru nursery ,and sec school ..but change whn I got into University I struggled on my own to finish ..cos of her treatment I relocated to lagos..my bro joined her and the wife he married too .so I left them came to Lagos to start a new life.im planning not to inform them anythng that concerns me,,they don't call me or check if small still alive ,so I don't do same..the last one that pain me most is during the lockdown I was not feeling fine I text them especially my mum about my health,uptil today nothng like call to know if am alive or not . My bro is on WhatsApp but I don't chat him ,him too don't chat me. Even before now I ask him for financial support atimes but he keep telling me he does not have ,this s someone that works in financial company ...and I do support them too even the job I pave way for him ,I was suppose to get the job but I was in my finals then so I gave him the slot ..so pls live your life forget them..God will give you a woman that will love ,cherish ,be ur dad,mum and everything ..that is how I do my man just my world..I have never have that parental love I ever want
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by Newboss(m): 11:48pm On Sep 19, 2020
mariahAngel:


Sigh!

So, if you were in his position, where would you call home? You know...like your homeland?
Where would you belong?
Would you be OK having no sense of belonging after cutting off everyone? Especially as a man....
What would become of your children

Homeland is anywhere you make your homeland. It's a choice. People have been moving for ages. We are ever mobile. You can call your biological parents homeland yours without having a relationship with them. Or you can just create yours.

See, if you need your parents, in even anyone, in order to have a sense of belonging, then you have serious inferiority complex. You should be able to detach from people irrespective of anything. Your children are your children, not their children. Never forget that because those your relatives will never forget that. You should come first.
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by 2016v2017: 11:52pm On Sep 19, 2020
Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by PinkHealthGroup: 11:52pm On Sep 19, 2020
Never look back. Move on with your life. Put them in the dustbin of your mind and seal it tight. My dad abandoned us and married a new wife who wrotevus bounced checks all the time. We are now in a way better place and we don't fcck with his new family him. Let them stay where they are. Please move on with your life. Change phone numbers and let them take care of their kids. Shikena!
Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by 2rez: 11:53pm On Sep 19, 2020
Ishilove:

No it isn't. Read the story again. This young man suffered and they never cared about him. Will they be coming close to him today if he ended up a riffraff? Where were they when he was working as a labourer to see himself through school? He kept trying to reach out to his mum but she ignored him all those years. His own dad asked him to leave the house. Why are they now coming close now that he turned out better than anyone expected??

Humanly speaking, u got some points, i feel the premises u taking it to or bringing it from but come to think of it, we dey shit & we dey forget say we shit so me go advise am make he take the "parentlessness" as shit. Meaning na shit & he don forget, hard though but it's achievable. Again, why not leave the past in the past & focus on the present & help whoever u can, his parents inclusive. We are humans hence we are imperfect, as long as he scaled through the period of parental abandonment alive & eventually became a notable fella to be reckoned with by his crazy folks show that God engineered or doctored it to be so. Biko i no be religious bigot oh. I just reason am say God sabi as every man journey go take be inside life.

Personally i feel he got conscience so let his conscience give him the answer he seeks. So far u bleed when u have a cut, i think that makes one human so why dont he act humane, forgive & help his folks? Although scar (tattoo) go dey afterwards but does it matter? Scars dont kill or do they?

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by 2016v2017: 11:54pm On Sep 19, 2020
Mstick:
I know all this sentimental and religious nutjobs will try to emotionally manipulate you, but your parents deserve to be left where they were when you needed them.

I can't imagine not running to my child when they need my support. So you obviously know they're not coming to you because they love you but because they want to use you.

Re: What Will You Do If You Have My Kind Of Parents? by 2016v2017: 11:57pm On Sep 19, 2020
eyinjuege:
I must say you have done very well for yourself if your story is true. You've shown resilience, courage , determination to succeed despite all the odds against you.
Well done for that. Give yourself a pat on the back
With regards to your parents and their brood, stay far from them. You meant nothing to them in the past, and you mean nothing to them now. Your money may mean a lot to them though, so do not allow yourself to be used.
There are orphans who are living fine without any family.
Don't feel bad that you've refused their requests, afterall they never granted any of yours when you needed them in the past.
I would implore you to continue working hard and when you decide to marry, please marry someone who loves you and ready to help you grow further. Marry someone who is concerned about your welfare, who will be ready to stand by you through thick and thin. Do not let your partner pressurise you into getting close to your parents as they would be your downfall. You mean nothing to your biological parents unfortunately. Build your own family
I wish you the best.
Family are those who covered you from the rain and other elements, and those who you matter to.

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