it bothers me how people pretend to like you but talk so bad of you behind your back.

Just stop caring.

By not giving them sth to say or speak about. Be first you.

See them as non existents.

Hmm. If you think deeply about how easily people get forgotten after their death then you will understand that people's opinion means nothing. Just live.

A popular man in my area died and it was a great uproar. The man was well known and very rich too. People liked him. Yes, they cried after he died but trust me, after one week everything died down. People continued their normal businesses. It was as if nothing happened, just like that.

Nobody cares really, just be you and the world will adjust.

introvert2:
it bothers me how people pretend to like you but talk so bad of you behind your back.

Everyone cares about what others say about them, so don't feel bad, its natural. The way you respond to criticism is what matters most. As an introvert, you probably internalise criticism and make it personal instead of just shrugging it off or making necessary corrections.

If you don't want to feel bothered anymore or don't want your bother to escalate after this thread, you've to know that there's a difference between:

- Caring not about what people think or say about you

And

- Doing what you know is right and not care about what inconsequential/small-minded/biased people think or say about you

The former will make you become a controversial person; of course, it takes crassness and expediency - opportunism - to sustain a controversial lifestyle. Unfortunately, behind any controversial person you see, anywhere, is a customer of depression and unhappiness in secret - forget about whatever cheering posture they may display to the outside world.

Meanwhile, the latter will give you inner peace, fulfillment, confidence, etc. Your open critics will be your greatest admires in secret. However, unlike a controversial person, who'll have a lot of sycophants and frenemies masquerading as admires and friends giving them a false sense of importance, you'll likely walk alone or with a few reliable people in this lane. That's the price you'll pay when you take to conscientiousness.

Now you know this, choose for yourself a path that suits you well.

The quickest and easiest solution I can think of which should help, is for you to look around and ensure you find at least one person in your life whom you can trust enough to always be honest with you without malicious intentions – this person(s) should be the one(s) with whom you can be vulnerable around without fear of judgement.

He/she/they should be the only person(s) whose thoughts and opinions about you, matters. I call them anchors.
Once you have one, two, or even more of such anchors in your life, you will begin to understand why you ought to have no business with every other person and what they may think/say.

Remember though, your anchor(s) have to be people who are honest WITHOUT malicious intentions – you must learn to differentiate between those who use their honesty to try hurting your feelings (unsafe), and those who are honest with you because they genuinely care and want you to be better (safe).
The latter category are perfect anchors.

introvert2:
it bothers me how people pretend to like you but talk so bad of you behind your back.

The fact that you CARE about who likes you, show you may have to solve your major problem of SELF ESTEEM....

Listen, IN THIS LIFE YOU CAN NEVER PLEASE EVERYONE 100%

So here is what to do....

LEARN TO LIVE WITHOUT DEPENDING ON ANYONE.

LEARN TO ALWAYS BE AHEAD OF EVERYONE ELSE SO THEY DEPEND ON YOU (that way you will not be moved by their show of love or words BECAUSE you will know it is just false praise because of their need of what you can offer)

Have you noticed how POLITICIANS are hardly moved by all the words we speak against them? Its because they know they are richer and higher.... HENCE YOU TOO SHOULD BE LIKE THAT.... Get richer and far better than all of them.... so their words will no longer count.

Last but not the least, FIND OUT WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU..... it is only his opinion that counts

introvert2:
it bothers me how people pretend to like you but talk so bad of you behind your back.

Lol I'm absolutely certain you live In Shiiithole and you are still Under 30years. Stay glued to my posts and the likes of Ubunja, Martinez.39 Panso.phist, and Co. You will become a Warrior In no time.......

introvert2:
it bothers me how people pretend to like you but talk so bad of you behind your back.

I think you are an ugly billionaire.

blackpanthar:


Last but not the least, FIND OUT WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU..... it is only his opinion that counts

how do you find out what God says about you? Really want to know

I used to be this way. But one day I discided not care of anyone's existence. I do what I love doing, be it in there presence or absence. I am very happy.

bukatyne:


I think you are an ugly billionaire.

If he was a billionaire I doubt he'll even care what others think