EPISODE 1
Passing out parade has come and gone, I will definitely miss my friends, my PPA, my environment in ota, a lot of thoughts were running through my mind as I was packing and arranging my loads. I begin to ask myself, “after service year then what next?”. I had tried to apply for jobs during my service year but I couldn’t get a befitting job. My friends that were born with a silver spoon had jobs waiting for them at home, “Which kind wahala be this?”, I picked my bag, board a bus to akure. On getting home, my family and neighbours welcomed me, it was as if a white man came on a visit. People are asking me questions, some were greeting, some were asking for what I brought. As days rolled by, I begin to search for what to do, I moved round the town to see if I could get a job somewhere. One day while I was passing by on the 3rd street, I saw a woman coming out of a mighty duplex, the house was painted white,. She was pasting a notice on her gate as I was passing by. I moved closer to see the what she was pasting, and on it I saw ” A home lesson teacher wanted URGENTLY”. Chaiii, I ignored at first and moved on. After walking about 8 steps. I stopped and think. ***** why I go refuse this job na?, dem be rich people ooo, so dem fit pay.*****, I stopped thinking, I went back the house, I knocked on the gate and the gateman ushered me in. the gateman took me to the the door entrance, called out the woman and left, ME: good afternoon ma MADAM: good afternoon young man, how can I help you? ME: I saw you pasting a notice the other time and I decided to apply. MADAM: you mean the home tutor job? ME: Yes MADAM: hope u passed your WAEC? And how was the result?. ME: *****smiled*****, yes man I do. MADAM: but I will prefer a graduate because my first daughter wants to write jamb and post jamb, so a graduate will do better, ME: *****i looked at myself and thought, “chaiiii, small stature na bad thing oooo, se I no look like graduate ni?”***** smiled, I’m a graduate ma. MADAM: really?, oooohh, pls I am so sorry for the embarrassment, so sorry please, u look very young, please come in please. ************she ushered me into the living room************ The interior of the room is a nice one, a colourful design and furnitures. I sat on the chair and she sat down opposite to me. MADAM: I’m sorry for the other time ME: its not a problem ma MaDAM: which state are you from? ME: edo MADAM: how old are you. ME: ****felt embarrassed*** 23 MADAM: 23? Then what age did you graduate? ME: 21 Ma MADAM: ***smiled*** u must be a genius, I like that. So let’s get to business. My first daughter janet is 19, she failed her last jamb attempt, so she is writing another one, so u will teach her physics, chemistry and math, less I forget. What’s your course? ME: chemistry Ma MaDAM: then you should be able to do well then, ME: ok ma, ***i looked at the photo on the wall directly in front of me, its of a very pretty young lady, she is fair and has a big burst. This must be janet, “chaiiiii, omo see bobby**** MADAM: I also have a son, 12 in jss3, u will be teaching him mathematics. Me: ok ma. MADAM: ********called someone by the name “sikira”. Sikira!!! , bring a bottle of coke for me with a glass cup******.A young girl appeared from the kitchen, her dressing shows that she must be the house maid. She is fair too but not up to janet, she must be in her early 20′s I guess, she has this local inbuilt beauty, a nice dimple and a an average sized bosoms. She served the coke and turned back. Chaiiiiiiii, omo see a$$$$$$. Its that type of mercy johnson’s. I sipped the coke and continues the discussion. MADAM: that is my house maid, no tempt her with your fine boy look oooooo, ME: ok ma. Madam: just kidding. So how much are you charging me? ME: *****thought for a while, viewed the look of the house, the cars I saw outside***** 30k ma. MADAM: heeeeeeeee, when I’m not employing you to train her for cambridge. I will pay you 20k per month for the 2 children. ME: ok ma MADAM: let me give you a little rule. Don’t go beyond academics with my daughter, I think you understand what I meant?. If you do, I will send hired killer to kill you ME: ok ma, *******so this woman is only concerned about her daughter’s yansh, what about sikira?*****. Sorry ma, can I ask a question? Madam: go ahead. ME: please are the children around?! I want to introduce myself to them****for my mind, I wan see how janet looks like in reality****. MaDAM: janet went to a friend’s birthday party, gideon my son is sleeping inside. Maybe when you resume lesson, you will know them ME: thanks ma. One more thing please, I wish to meet daddy too. MADAM: laughs, daddy is not in nigeria,. Me: ok ma, let me take my leave, I will resume on monday. I exchanged number with madam, stood up and about to leave when sikira came out to pick the bottle. She looked into my eyes and released a cute smile, her dimple made a hole. I smiled back at her too. I dashed out of the compound. As I stood infront of the gate, a cab dropped a young girl infront the house. I recognised the face as the same thing I saw on the picture, this must be janet. I said to her “HI”. She just ignored, passed by and knock on the gate which the gateman later opened. I said to my self. Chaiiiii, why this girl come rude and dey arrogant like this na?...

EPISODE 2.
Over the weekend, I had a fresh hair cut, a fresh perfume, a new 3 packs of shirt all ahead of my new job. I relocated to my own apartment in akure where I used to live before I left for service. Finally, its monday, I went straight to my new job at 10am. “Ko ko ko”, I knocked on the gate, the gateman opened, looked at me. He recognised me. Madam no dey around, “he replied” but madam say make aunty janet attend to you, aunty janet dey inside. I entered into the compound. Knock on the main door. “Ko ko ko”. Who is that?, a voice answered from inside. Its me onihaxy, I replied. She opened the door and stood at the entrance. **Chaiiiiii, janet was wearing a black round neck top, the Tips were pointing out, I guess she isn’t wearing a bra, she wore a micro mini skirt, she has an average height with a yam leg******* JANET: ****i guess she can’t recognise seeing me days back, well its normal sha, girls don’t recollect seeing guys but guy can always recollect seeing a lady at 12midnight.****,who are u looking for? ME: I am the new lesson teacher. Mummy told me to resume today. JANET: ****still not smiling**** really?, come in and have your seat……. Sikira!!!!!!!, where is this silly girl?, she screamed. **i thought in mind, this girl must be mean, see the wey she dey scream on this poor girl.**** sikira came out, she saw me sitting, she smiled at me and said “Hello sir”, I smiled back and said “hi”. Janet frowned at her and shouted at her, “pick this cup and get out of here, “. Sikira left and janet turned to me. I looked at her again and can’t believe she is 19. Her body shape looks 24. She is robust like “akebaje”. She sat down on the other chair, she smiled a little. JANET: I’m sorry pls, that is just lazy, if I don’t shout at her, she will never work. So what is your name again? ME: onihaxy JANET: ok, mummy already informed I and my brother that you will be coming around to tutor us. So let’s talk ME: ok JANET: I hope you will tutor well because you will be the 4th teacher to be employed this year, they all are not good at teaching, and when I notice that you are not good, I will report you to mum and you will be fired. ME: **my heart skip beats****, I am a good and born teacher, I will try my best. JANET: better. So let’s discuss the time table. Mummy said 5 times a week but I want it 3 or 4 times. And mummy must not know about this. Understood? ME: ****no wonder you no pass jamb, lazy girl****. Ok, I replied JANET: so what time and day will be ok for you? ME: any day and time you fix is ok JANET: anyday and time?. I thought you teach at a school? Or don’t you work elsewhere? ME: ***chaiiiiiiii, this girl is rude oooo, see as she dey question me****, I used to teach when I served. I just passed out and still job hunting. JANET: *raised eye brow* so you are a graduate?, you have served?, waaooooooh, I was thinking you are an NCE holder or school cert. That is interesting. She smiled. ME: ***chaiii, see as my small stature dey embarrass me****. So what time will u prefer? JANET: monday, Wednesday, friday and saturday. You will come at 2pm, teach me till 4pm when gideon will be back from school. Then start with gideon from 4:30 to 6pm. Is that ok by you. ME: its ok. So can we start today?. JANET: no problem, will you wait behind? Or come back by 2pm? ME: **thought***, I think I will come back. But where is mummy JANET: don’t you know she will be at work? She is a banker and won’t be back untill 6:30pm or 7pm. ME: **chaiii, this girl is naturally rude***, ok janet, I will be back by 2pm. JANET: wait, let me have your number just incase. ”Sikara!!!!!!!!!!!, bring my phone for me on my bed” she screamed. Sikira came with the phone. Janet collected it from sikira while sikira is still standing there. She smiled at me again. JANET: call your number ME: 08140908091******** JANET: saved, ****she flashed my number******* ME: I got it, let me be on my way, I will be back by 2pm. She returned the phone to sikira to return, I left the compound, walked out to the gate. Just as I was outsited the gate, my phone ranged. I looked at the screen, it was an unknown number. I picked ME: hello, who is this? CALLER: its me sikirat, that is my number, save it. I will call you later, bye.***hanged up**** I got home wondering, what does sikirat wants from me?. She must have memorised my number while I was calling it to janet. **fast forward***. Its 1:30pm, I left my house and set out for my lesson job. I arrived at the white house, knocked on the gate and the gateman ushered me in. I went straight to the main door entrance. A heavy sound of. “I fit die ontop your matter” was coming out of the room that no one could hear me knocking. Then I remembered I have janet’s number. I called her and no one picked. I called sikirat that I’m outside,. A minute later, the door was opened. I entered and met janet on a pink top and a bump short. She was sweating, then I guess she must have been dancing. ME: hi jane, I’m here for the lesson, JANET: “eeeehhmmm onihaxy” did I get it right? ME: yes JANET: see I’m tired oooo. I’m not sure I will do lesson today. I have been dancing since. If not for sikirat who told me that it seems someone is knocking, I wouldn’t have known you are outside ME: ****chaii, omo see sense, this sikirat wise oooo****. Ok jane, so what will happen now. JANET: maybe you should wait for gideon to be back from school. Then you should teach him. ME: ok JANET: what should I offer you? ME: ****why dis girl dey act nice this time na?****. I’m ok for now, I waited for gideon and I thought him mathematics. I continued the lesson since that day. Janet will skip lessons most times and I dare not tell mummy. Sikiratwill sneak to call me. She said aunty janet and mummy must not catch her. Most times, we will do midnite call, we do talk about everything except sex. I guess she doesn’t want to bring it up and I wasn’t interested neither. I would still prefer janet to sikirat any day. until one day when sikirat said she wants to tell me something. ME: hello sikirat, u said you wanted to tell me Something. SIKIRAT: please I need your help. I don’t know if you will help me, ME: just say it first. SIKIRAT:. I wanted a service that I can’t afford to pay for ME: what service dear? SIKIRAT: I’m shy to say it. ME: just say it dear SIKIrAT: emmmmm ehhmmmm eeehhmmm. You see, I dropped out at JSS2. I have passion to go to school but my parents don’t have the capacity. A sister who brought me to akure from ilorin promised my parents to send me to school. Only to end up renting me out madam when we reach akure. I still want education ME: you mean you want to go back to school? SIKIRAT: not really ME: so what do you want? SIKIRAT: I want you to be teaching me lesson but I don’t have money to pay. ME: that’s not a problem sikirat. Whenever I come next, I will be teaching you when I’m through with janet and gideon SIKIRAT: no oooo, mummy and aunty janet will not support it, they hate me so much, infact, they might send me out of the house. ME: so what do you want us to do? SIKIRAT: I will be coming to your house ME: *****my heart skipped beat*****. When and how? SIkiRAT: I used to go to market to buy house needs every 5 days. I can spend like 2hrs at your place before going to market. And also on friday nights. Everyone used to go to vigil and I am always the only one at home with the gateman, I can always come around… Abi ur wife will not support it? ME: looolz, wife kee?, I have not married, and I’m not in any relationship for now. SIKIRAT: you mean you don’t have any girlfriend? ME: yes SIKiRaT: thank God oooo, no one will say I want to use lesson to snatch her boyfriend. After the conversation, I was wondering how midnite lessons will look like. Chaiiii, sikirat no go kill me ooooooooooo….