₦airaland Forum

DrFunmisticGlow:
Reassure her with words? Temp12 let me advise you as a woman The only reassurance you need to give her is through your actions. Op should go and see her family and pay her bride price and do a court wedding. You don't need a fancy big wedding but you will be together with an understanding woman you love and loves you back. Many can't boast of that.

Women like her are hard to find. And if op is being slow, someone else will snatch her up. This will only reinforce the fact that women should go for ready-made men with the financial, mental and emotional means to start a family.



Both of you should communicate, and do all this but also tell her to be patient with you a little more and give a a year before starting child bearing. This is risky seeing as she is past 30 and conception becomes more difficult especially once she reaches 35, for some women it can be much earlier than that.

This year is enough to buy you time to be serious with this job and become financially stable and save. Op, many people became rich, not by doing something they were passionate about, but by being solution providers. You think dangote likes making spaghetti? Or yahoo boys dreamed of scamming people and doing money rituals when they were little?

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, you have been given an opportunity to apply yourself to success, and a mentor who is going the extra mile to guide you(your boss). As time goes on when your hard work yields fruit(laws of the universe of sowing and reaping), many others wish to be in your shoes. With time you will either come to love the job, or have enough financial stability to pursue your passions.

My two kobo. The decision ultimately lies with you.

"She is almost the same as I am but for some reason she wants her marriage to be loud and she is already outrageous demands towards a marriage I am not ready for. Any support from her is almost zero as she is responsible for her entire family. once we are married her responsibilities of taking care of her entire family will fall on me."

For some reason, you all are ignoring this concern from the Op.

You can go n see her parents n maybe do introduction.Assure her that anytin marriage will be next yr.Finding a supporting partner is not easy.

Temp12:
Had to create this account for this and pardon any grammatical errors as I am super stressed.

I'm in my mid thirties and she just clocked 30. We have been together for 5 years. In the first 2years of our relation I had an okay job that took care of both of us and I did a lot for her. Then I lost that job and had to struggle for survival and she did quite a lot for me. After like a year I found another job that was close to slavery. I did it anyways and it fed me and that's all. I couldn't do much for her and she understood and still supported me anyways. I recently found another okay job - pays 250k to 300k monthly plus other good stuff. My reason for stating all these is to make it clear she has been a good person to me and that we both got each other's back. This is very important to me. I love her to bits.

I can feel your pain from your write up. This is just pure emotional blackmail.
If she's showing this attitude at this time, I wonder what she'll do when you are married and she starts showing her true colours! If she can't be understanding now, what abt when issues arise in the marriage, is this how you'll be blackmailed too?

Man don't fall for this or else you'll live a miserable life. After marrying her you'll realise she's human and not the angel you have imagined, her manipulations and start regretting.

Imagine you are already planning to take up the responsibility of her family? Like wtf! Does she not earn money?
Do this and see yourself struggle financially throughout the marriage!

Are you purposely doing this to yourself or you just hate yourself?
In this time and age, a lady marrying after she clocks 30 is not strange, don't let anyone deceive you.

Use your head don't be swayed by her emotional blackmail. Put your happiness first, don't put anybody before you or else you'll regret it, Human beings can and will disappoint.
Take the decision that gives you happiness and fulfilment!

I wish you all the best!

Good morning

Bikochi:
I can feel your pain from your write up. This is just pure emotional blackmail.
If she's showing this attitude at this time, I wonder what she'll do when you are married and she starts showing her true colours! If she can't be understanding now, what abt when issues arise in the marriage, is this how you'll be blackmailed too?

Man don't fall for this or else you'll live a miserable life. After marrying her you'll realise she's human and not the angel you have imagined, her manipulations and start regretting.

Imagine you are already planning to take up the responsibility of her family? Like wtf! Does she not earn money?
Do this and see yourself struggle financially throughout the marriage!

Are you purposely doing this to yourself or you just hate yourself?
In this time and age, a lady marrying after she clocks 30 is not strange, don't let anyone deceive you.

Use your head don't be swayed by her emotional blackmail. Put your happiness first, don't put anybody before you or else you'll regret it, Human beings can and will disappoint.
Take the decision that gives you happiness and fulfilment!

I wish you all the best!

I thought I was the only one that saw that part.

Raalsalghul:
"She is almost the same as I am but for some reason she wants her marriage to be loud and she is already outrageous demands towards a marriage I am not ready for. Any support from her is almost zero as she is responsible for her entire family. once we are married her responsibilities of taking care of her entire family will fall on me."

For some reason, you all are ignoring this concern from the Op.

i did address the concern, and told him to communicate with her
She has to compromise