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The Hate For Single Moms - Family - Nairaland

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The Hate For Single Moms by PropertyXpert: 2:33pm On Oct 26, 2020
As individuals in this world, we have the fortune and misfortune of interacting different people (depending on the person), who have differing views, (some logical, some illogical). I find the hate/dislike of single mothers highly counterintuitive and illogical, why you may ask- my reasons are outlined below;
The existence of single mothers cannot be conclusively traced to a single factor, there are many reasons why some women find themselves raising their kids by themselves (i.e rape victims, wives abandoned by irresponsible husbands, gilfriends abandoned by irresponsible boyfriends, ladies who were told by their partners to result to abortion but refused e.t.c)
No matter which category a single mum finds herself, i believe that she should be viewed as a symbol of strength for many; in our present society, there are many ways to terminate a pregnancy, the fact that these women (unlike their partners, who no one ever mentions) do not give up on their kids and take on the full responsibily of catering for ...

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by BabbanBura(m): 2:37pm On Oct 26, 2020
PropertyXpert:
As individuals in this world, we have the fortune and misfortune of interacting different people (depending on the person), who have differing views, (some logical, some illogical). I find the hate/dislike of single mothers highly counterintuitive and illogical, why you may ask- my reasons are outlined below;
The existence of single mothers cannot be conclusively traced to a single factor, there are many reasons why some women find themselves raising their kids by themselves (i.e rape victims, wives abandoned by irresponsible husbands, gilfriends abandoned by irresponsible boyfriends, ladies who were told by their partners to result to abortion but refused e.t.c)
No matter which category a single mum finds herself, i believe that she should be viewed as a symbol of strength for many; in our present society, there are many ways to terminate a pregnancy, the fact that these women (unlike their partners, who no one ever mentions) do not give up on their kids and take on the full responsibily of catering for ...

I agree that the good single mothers among them should be seen as a symbol of strenght. Many, however, are single mothers because they are toxic that informs the hatred.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Karleb(m): 2:39pm On Oct 26, 2020
You people have started again.

The only set of single mothers I pity are those that were raped.

How do you expect me to like you just because you are a single mother.

You ask for something and you attach the I am a single mother of 2, who cares?!


Single mothers are not hated like you make it seem, in fact, a lot of people I know judge people based on their characters. So if you are a "double" mom and your character is bad, you shall be hated!

Stop all these pity party abeg! You can't have sex, keep the pregnancy and expect another fellow (Reno Omokri) to bear the consequences.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by CAPSLOCKED: 2:44pm On Oct 26, 2020
I COME WITH BOWLS TO COLLECT EVERY DROP OF YOUR TEARS.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Nobody: 2:50pm On Oct 26, 2020
Single mothers do not deserve any iota of pity unless those raped. Other ones are simply irresponsible, they should close their legs.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by PropertyXpert: 2:52pm On Oct 26, 2020
their kids emotional, physical and psychological wellbeing, is not a thing to be mocked or judged by anyone. Would we rather that all single moms follow the footsteps of their counterparts, and leave the children to their fate? Surely not.
A percentage of single mothers, find themselves in their position because of mistakes made in their past, and everyone who rapes, steals, abuses others, and has done more abominable things, decides to be judge and jury (HYPOCRITES). Lest we forget, it takes two to tango, where are the runaway fathers in all this... Off breeding more kids? Most likely.

To answer the question of... 'why are there more single moms than single dads?' ...
Women, who offcourse are more emotionally intelligent than men, view the parental abandonment of children as an abomination and would never be an option for them, so why ostracize them? Probably because of the staggering number of hypocrites, who have sick and twisted perceptions, present in the world.
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Karleb(m): 2:56pm On Oct 26, 2020
Drhealer:
Single mothers do not deserve any iota of pity unless those raped. Other ones are simply irresponsible, they should close their legs.

I'm tired oh!

Close your legs, they say no.

Keep one guy so we can easily trace the pregnancy, they say no.

Use contraceptives, they say no.

Do abortion, they say over their dead body.

Now they want them to be seen as "symbol of strength"?

Abeg!

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by elantraceey(f): 3:02pm On Oct 26, 2020
I'm not against being a single mother but please don't deliberately bring a child into this world that you know you can't singlehandedly take care of.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Nobody: 3:10pm On Oct 26, 2020
You forgot to add wives that eloped with another man due to financial constraints on the husband's side..
You forgot the greedy ones that despite the husband trying his best, his best was not enough for her hence she elope with the kids..
You forgot the ones who wants to live a life of affluence that the husband can't finance..

You people will be quick to dump all problem on the husband forgetting the wife too might be the problem..

Never forget the abusive ones and the ones who are never contended

1 Like

Re: The Hate For Single Moms by KanwuliaExtra: 3:17pm On Oct 26, 2020
Please, I am a MARRIED, SINGLE GRANDMA!
Have mercy on me. cry
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Osobi32(m): 3:20pm On Oct 26, 2020
elantraceey:
I'm not against being a single mother but please don't deliberately bring a child into this world that you know you can't singlehandedly take care of.
This is a real woman here, my dear ur mentality is awesome. keep it up
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Aboks(m): 3:28pm On Oct 26, 2020
Just passing
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Mahoti(f): 3:35pm On Oct 26, 2020
How about the so called partner told you to leave the pregnancy but at the end he left you.
If you know a single mother struggling,there is no harm in helping her.
I am a single mother,a graduate and a makeup artist.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Fountainofyouth(f): 3:45pm On Oct 26, 2020
I guess single fathers are exempted no?

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Raalsalghul: 3:49pm On Oct 26, 2020
Mahoti:
How about the so called partner told you to leave the pregnancy but at the end he left you.
If you know a single mother struggling,there is no harm in helping her.
I am a single mother,a graduate and a makeup artist.


@the bold, your partner or your boyfriend?
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by crackhaus: 3:55pm On Oct 26, 2020
The issue I usually have with people like the OP who try to make a case for single-mothers and of course some of the single-moms themselves, is that y'all try to guilt-trip people into accepting you as you are.

Just because one is a single-mother does not mean she is entitled to some special consideration, or love, or desire... I don't get that logic.

And what you call HATE is not really hate, that's a needless exaggeration. It's not even dislike – I'd rather refer to it as choice, a personal choice which everyone has a right to.
Whether you like or don't like a person's choice, is entirely your own problem. You don't get to dictate what people should choose to associate with, that's just typical "snowflake" behaviour.


***
– People avoid sugar to reduce the risk of diabetes.
– People avoid saturated fats to reduce the risk of high cholesterol.
– People avoid single-mothers to reduce the risk of a complicated life.

It's quite simple really at the end of the day, because the same way those who avoid sugar and saturated fats don't HATE sugar or foods with saturated fats, this is the exact same way those who avoid single-moms don't HATE them.
It's all about self-preservation, no more no less...

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by PuZZyNegro: 4:12pm On Oct 26, 2020
Mahoti:
How about the so called partner told you to leave the pregnancy but at the end he left you.
If you know a single mother struggling,there is no harm in helping her.
I am a single mother,a graduate and a makeup artist.

You guys are lucky the world has evolved.

Back in the days, being a single mother (called ime okwa or ime mkpuke in Igbo) is an automatic ticket to getting married to an old man in his 60s who lost his wife or an old woman looking to marry to have children and preserve the family lineage.

Single mothers cannot point at their baby daddy and you will see a responsible man.

You enjoy dating irresponsible guys and when they impregnate you, you expect the good guys to have pity on you?

No and never.

I have many of them begging to come and cook for me so I can pay them but they're never in my selection list.

Any treatment you get as a single mother is the consequence of your actions so you should live with it.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Karleb(m): 4:35pm On Oct 26, 2020
PuZZyNegro:


You guys are lucky the world has evolved.

Back in the days, being a single mother (called ime okwa or ime mkpuke in Igbo) is an automatic ticket to getting married to an old man in his 60s who lost his wife or an old woman looking to marry to have children and preserve the family lineage.

Single mothers cannot point at their baby daddy and you will see a responsible man.

You enjoy dating irresponsible guys and when they impregnate you, you expect the good guys to have pity for you?

No and never.

I have many of them begging to come and cook for me so I can pay them but they're never in my selection list.

Any treatment you get as a single mother is the consequence of your actions so you should live with it.

There is this girl who was my colleague in secondary school, this girl has 2 kids and till now she can't point to one guy as the father of either of the kids.

She had multiple sperm donors.

The kids are with her parents.

She languishing in poverty and I have no sympathy for her.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by CsRockefeller(m): 5:21pm On Oct 26, 2020
Wahala for person wet be single mother for this country.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by bdchange(m): 5:35pm On Oct 26, 2020
Fountainofyouth:
I guess single fathers are exempted no?
They are exempted because they are already irresponsible and a nuisance to themselves which is why they left their sons/daughters with the woman and ran away without looking back. And as for the lady, that is the consequence she get by romancing with a lowlife man. Most of them see the signs but continue in that route regardless. Being a single mum should not make you bad except you are already a bad person. There are always exceptions which I believe has been explained above.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by bdchange(m): 5:42pm On Oct 26, 2020
Mahoti:
How about the so called partner told you to leave the pregnancy but at the end he left you.
If you know a single mother struggling,there is no harm in helping her.
I am a single mother,a graduate and a makeup artist.
Ofcos no harm in helping a single mother but let her don't envisage it as an entitlement. You can also get married as a single mother that you are if you put yourself upright and don't present yourself as a baggage to any potential suitors.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by tobechi74: 5:42pm On Oct 26, 2020
Some women hate the stress husband give. It is choice

Marriage is not for everyone. There are people who are happier single. I mean those who are do introverted that they cannot tolerate a very long time without feeling drained. There are people who prefer long distance relationship with few visits and frequent absence rather than continued presence.  those whose high attention sexual urge cannot be satisfied by any one individual. There are others who dislike the boredom of sticking to one  partner scares the hell out of them. Variety is the spice of life.The fun of experimenting with various sizes and  types thrills them. There are yet another group whose need for independence and freedom makes them dislike the idea of  consulting with another before making decision.  There is another group that  love to be in motion. They wake up one morning and decide to relocate to another state only to explore another culture the next year. Traveling is their hobby and getting married with kids hinders that . Settling down is like a death trap. Flowing water is cleaner. Stagnant water attracts mosquitoes and other microorganism.

Human needs are various. the concept of getting married does not fit into their ideal future. They are better off single or in an open relationship. imposing  monogamy marriage on them will choke them. Their partner and children would suffer . Cheating is bound to occur. The fact that cheating still exist means we should question the effectiveness of monogamy and possibility of open marriag

https://tobechispeaks./2020/09/04/sex-and-marriage-are-not-government-buissness/

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by PuZZyNegro: 5:45pm On Oct 26, 2020
Karleb:


There is this girl who was my colleague in secondary school, this girl has 2 kids and till now she can't point to one guy as the father of either of the kids.

She had multiple sperm donors.

The kids are with her parents.

She languishing in poverty and I have no sympathy for her.


When they are tear rubber, their shakara is to high heavens.

It's only when they become after one that you will see that all those shakara are for nothing but just emptiness.

Fuckinggg irresponsible guys and turning around to expect pity and help.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by djon78(m): 5:47pm On Oct 26, 2020
bdchange:

They are exempted because they are already irresponsible and a nuisance to themselves which is why they left their sons/daughters with the woman and ran away without looking back. And as for the lady, that is the consequence she get by romancing with a lowlife man. Most of them see the signs but continue in that route regardless. Being a single mum should not make you bad except you are already a bad person. There are always exceptions which I believe has been explained above.



Actually Reno raised a very important issue

One thing I have found out about life is that it always pays to be a responsible man, who works hard and takes care of his family and responsibilities

Likewise it always pays to be a responsible woman who guides her affairs with great discretion and manages her conduct and lifestyle in an appropriate way


These two parralel personalities are recipe for a good peaceful relationship
Singles and young people must ensure they belong to one of these be it male or female


Anything outside these two paradigm is a recipe for disaster in life

A man should be responsible
A woman should be responsible
Any thing outside it is problem


This is a lesson for everyone

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by PuZZyNegro: 5:48pm On Oct 26, 2020
tobechi74:
Some women hate the stress husband give. It is choice

So no need expecting pity.
Women will never pity you no matter the circumstance but they're very quick to seek sympathy.


Have you ever tried joining the road or traffic in front of a female driver?


Comedian Buchi made a joke about this. He told women that someone overtaking them while driving doesn't mean the person has overtaken their destiny... Lol.


Please, single mothers should stop seeking for sympathy and woman up to their responsibility.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by bdchange(m): 6:07pm On Oct 26, 2020
djon78:




Actually Reno raised a very important issue

One thing I have found out about life is that it always pays to be a responsible man, who works hard and takes care of his family and responsibilities

Likewise it always pays to be a responsible woman who guides her affairs with great discretion and manages her conduct and lifestyle in an appropriate way


These two parralel personalities are recipe for a good peaceful relationship
Singles and young people must ensure they belong to one of these be it male or female


Anything outside these two paradigm is a recipe for disaster in life

A man should be responsible
A woman should be responsible
Any thing outside it is problembei


This is a lesson for everyone
There will always be irresponsible fellows no matter how sane a society is designed. We can't also neglect the facts that mistakes happens in relationship in which you might mix up with the wrong partner. Great men and women have ended up being single mother or single father due to so many factors. Yet I hate to admit that in this generation, majority of single mothers find themselves in this situations because of their own greed, selfishness, naivity and the likes. @Toks2008 has been ditching out lessons to them for a decade now, yet they don't listen. @Graxie has pointed out a possible solution to avoid the overload of being a single mother, yet they won't listen. I can continue with so many posts that has been distributed here over time to learn from, yet they just read and continue in that part. I have a relative that is a single mum and I can't withstand the stress she goes through in training those kids, she is not left out as well. What makes a man responsible is taking charge of his actions and don't run away from it. As a woman when you see one, you will know. You don't need a sorcerer to tell you that.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by RightToReject(m): 6:08pm On Oct 26, 2020
I consider it petty and inhumane for anyone who holds a conviction that, aside from rape or death of husband/partner, that a woman who's a single mother automatically doesn't deserve their help.

Irreconcilable differences can make a woman who has a child to separate from her husband/partner with whom she once shared a good understanding, and by extension, will automatically become a single mother. Now imagine a situation whereby a woman becomes a single mother in this instance or similar instance and in the cause of it loses her source of income or her estranged husband/partner who was responsibly paying her alimony becomes bankrupt. The salt of a sane society is conscientiousness - not self-absorption nor servility - as far as I'm concerned.

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Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Toks2008(m): 6:57pm On Oct 26, 2020
bdchange:

There will always be irresponsible fellows no matter how sane a society is designed. We can't also neglect the facts that mistakes happens in relationship in which you might mix up with the wrong partner. Great men and women have ended up being single mother or single father due to so many factors. Yet I hate to admit that in this generation, majority of single mothers find themselves in this situations because of their own greed, selfishness, naivity and the likes. @Toks2008 has been ditching out lessons to them for a decade now, yet they don't listen. @Graxie has pointed out a possible solution to avoid the overload of being a single mother, yet they won't listen. I can continue with so many posts that has been distributed here over time to learn from, yet they just read and continue in that part. I have a relative that is a single mum and I can't withstand the stress she goes through in training those kids, she is not left out as well. What makes a man responsible is taking charge of his actions and don't run away from it. As a woman when you see one, you will know. You don't need a sorcerer to tell you that.

https://www.nairaland.com/2532999/8-words-advice-unmarried-single
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by djon78(m): 7:27pm On Oct 26, 2020
bdchange:

There will always be irresponsible fellows no matter how sane a society is designed. We can't also neglect the facts that mistakes happens in relationship in which you might mix up with the wrong partner. Great men and women have ended up being single mother or single father due to so many factors. Yet I hate to admit that in this generation, majority of single mothers find themselves in this situations because of their own greed, selfishness, naivity and the likes. @Toks2008 has been ditching out lessons to them for a decade now, yet they don't listen. @Graxie has pointed out a possible solution to avoid the overload of being a single mother, yet they won't listen. I can continue with so many posts that has been distributed here over time to learn from, yet they just read and continue in that part. I have a relative that is a single mum and I can't withstand the stress she goes through in training those kids, she is not left out as well. What makes a man responsible is taking charge of his actions and don't run away from it. As a woman when you see one, you will know. You don't need a sorcerer to tell you that.


Excellently articulated
True most of them will see the right person but would rather go for the wrong irresponsible ones.

It's a pity seriously

1 Like

Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Frankiecrenshaw: 8:07pm On Oct 26, 2020
Too much wisdom in this thread..
Re: The Hate For Single Moms by Myrage2: 8:57pm On Oct 26, 2020
Unlike Reno, I'd like to help single moms But If you need my help, you have to open those legs wide, since you know how to open it wella grin grin grin
without thinking of the after effect.

1 Like

Re: The Hate For Single Moms by CHoccolaTE: 10:02pm On Oct 26, 2020
RightToReject:
I consider it petty and inhumane for anyone who holds a conviction that, aside from rape or death of husband/partner, that a woman who's a single mother automatically doesn't deserve their help.

Irreconcilable differences can make a woman who has a child to separate from her husband/partner with whom she once shared a good understanding, and by extension, will automatically become a single mother. Now imagine a situation whereby a woman becomes a single mother in this instance or similar instance and in the cause of it loses her source of income or her estranged husband/partner who was responsibly paying her alimony becomes bankrupt. The salt of a sane society is conscientiousness - not self-absorption nor servility - as far as I'm concerned.

Honestly, but inhumanity to women has been so normalized on Nairaland all these rantings here no even dey surprise me.

2 Likes

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