Crushed
Episode 1

A hand grabbed one of my breasts
It was masculine- big and strong!
It wasn’t Joshua’s hand, so it definitely was….
Oh my God!
Dad’s?
It couldn’t be…not at all!
We were having the morning devotion.
We were just five in the sitting room- Dad, mum, Bobo, Sissy and I
And it couldn’t be dad!
He was the only hope I had in the whole wide world
He couldn’t just come and burst my balloon like that…
I was already crushed!
My maternity and paternity had not been confirmed till date- I was found at the doorstep of the house at about 8 months old in a basket with a ‘Help this baby’ note but dad had fought for my stay in the house.
Mum had made my stay in the house hell and she had made it so clear that I was not a part of them.
If there was a meat stolen in the pot, it would be Mercy
Even the name Mercy crushed me most time. It reminded me that I was just in the house at their mercy.
If something happened anyhow in the house, my name would rent the whole air.
Even the twins –Bobo and Sissy that I was about five years older than, accused, blamed and insulted me at the slightest opportunity.
At 15, I still bedwet!
Because of this, I was banished from the room I shared with Sissy to the balcony!
Last night, the breeze had been too much for me that I knew that by the time I would wake up, I would find myself in the pool of my own urine!
Anytime I was being flogged by mum, dad would step in.
And anytime he did step in, the next statement that would follow is ‘If this girl doesn’t eventually cause our breakup Sam, call me a bastard!’
In school, my self-esteem had been crushed too.
Mum had come to school before for me to be disgraced on the assembly because I had wet the bed the night before.
Since then, I was called the ‘Wee-wee girl’
Everywhere I went to, I was being looked at as a thief, a wee-wee girl, a wicked soul, a witch, and any evil you could imagine
If you are close to the Bridget family and you have not heard about the ‘messy mercy’, it’s because you are dead!
Everyone knew me!
Everyone hated me!
The only one person who told me that ‘I understand you’
‘You look good;
‘You are beautiful;
‘What a nice result you have here;
‘You are a great genius’
Was the only one person I called ‘Dad’ and meant it- Mr Bridget!
But fumbling with my breast?!
Impossican’t!
I was bending over a stool as a punishment for bedwetting again and I had dozed off.
The ‘operation’ on my flesh had woken me up and with sleepy eyes, I looked at Dad beside me.
There were his eyes
He was glaring at me!
It wasn’t a dream
Daddy was really smooching me!
He winked and smiled at me as he brought his hand close to me again despite singing ‘Worthy is the lamb, seated on the throne’ as he led the devotion
The infuriation that rose from my inside due to the great disappointment that I was met with this early morning (7th July) threw me off balance
Within the twinkling of an eye, I had deposited two dirty slaps in his face to the amazement of my spirit, soul and body!
“What!” he exclaimed loudly
All eyes were on me
“Mercy, are you mad?” Mum asked, looking so shocked
By the time I realised what I had done, mum had stood up to pounce on me with Oloriburuku, aje, emere, ogbanje, elemi okunkun, witch, gbokogboko and other abusive names flying in the air.
Dad looked at me with a great shock
But was I dreaming?
He was touching me really!…it wasn’t a dream
Why couldn’t he acknowledge and tell everyone what he had done wrong?
Dad?
Even dad!
My tears flowed uncontrollably
It was not the bites, the slap, the kicks, the painful pulls that me to cry.
It was daddy!
The fact that he could try to harass me!
The fact he could make me feel this weak and hopeless
“Why Mercy? Why?” he asked on as tears ran down his face
I was running mad!
What an act!
“What did he do to you? Exactly what would make you slap him? Talk to me ogbanje…yellow pawpaw!” she screamed
I couldn’t talk
What else could I have to say?
Who would believe me?
I held my chest in pain as I closed my eyes firmly
God, please vindicate me!
After so many slaps and ‘What did he do?’ cry from her, I slumped to the ground from exhaustion, panting hard
I saw as daddy stood up from the chair and pulled me up
“You have been always right honey. There is something about this girl that I have to unravel. Leave her for me. Get the children ready for school” he said as he pulled me away.
“Orisirisi!’ mum said as she clapped her hands together, obviously shaken
“My breast…he touched my breast” I said but my voice wasn’t loud enough
“Don’t let me meet that thing by the time I come back from work o…don’t ever let me!” she shouted behind us as i was being dragged away like a sack of beans
He locked the door behind us and smiled devilishly at me.
“Before those guys that didn’t labour over you start their businesses on your body, you don’t want to give daddy that trained you from babyhood till ‘big-girlhood’ a chance baby?” he talked like cartoon in my ears and I could only pant
It was only a very bad dream!
Grabbing me by the hair, he swung me with his muscular arms before throwing me unto the bed.
I hit my head on the head of the bed and screamed loudly
It felt like the earth was spinning so quick.
Blood seemed to rush into my eyes and nose
“Dad, just kill me sir. Kill me” I screamed as he dug his hands into my body
“Omo rada rada” mum said as she walked past the room.
She must be on the way to the bathroom
Couldn’t she guess what her husband would be doing with a girl alone in the room?
Despite the names they called me and the bad reputation they had given me, couldn’t she think deep that I had never raised my hands to beat even the naughty bobo, talk less of daddy?
Couldn’t she think?
“Remove your clothes and lets pray” I heard and my already heavy head became heavier.
This couldn’t just be true!
Who do I call on?
Who do I pray to?
Jesus?
Of course not!
Not the same Jesus that the Bridget’s worshipped!
“You are crushed!” he laughed devilishly and he looked like a vampire as I beheld him.
That was the word!
The word to describe how ravished I had become
He covered my mouth with the pillow as he dug at my blouse, like a Mephistophelian lion!
The whole earth ceased moving as I counted my breath- slowly!

Episode 1

EPISODE 2
I had had really bad days on earth but today…
Really really ‘badder’!
I limped out of the room where my blood had just been shed in pain and agony.
I wasn’t crying but tears flowed!
I didn’t have catarrh prior to this forceful intercourse but now, mucus flowed unstopped from my nostrils!
I was not so surprised that I was maltreated but I was flabbergasted that it could come from dad…and in that terrible manner.
I turned to look back at the door and he was there smacking his lips in an ‘I want more’ manner.
He looked like those hungry blood-thirsty vampires and ware wolves.
My heart yowled
I heard mum’s laughter and I looked towards the bathroom
She had soapy bubbles on her hands as she looked towards me.
She was laughing uncontrollably
“He has gone to deal with your evil spirit, right?” she laughed on
Evil spirit?
Really…was that the only thing she could see?
“He even broke your legs” she laughed even harder
Couldn’t she see far beyond that?
What was she whining about?
What was so funny?
Couldn’t she see that I was walking with such great difficulty?
Couldn’t she see blood on my cloth?
Couldn’t she hear noise from the room while the deed was been done?
Couldn’t she see?
Couldn’t she see that her ‘deacon’ husband had gone into a minor?
Was she that blindly insensitive?
Huh!
“I told you that my husband could be more dangerous than I. All his niceness was just a camouflage. He even beats me when I mess up. So who are you!” she laughed loudly again
I heard her children’s giggles too.
I turned to continue my seemingly unending journey to my room, feeling the tingling pains in between my legs.
As I managed to get inside the room that I shared with Sissy, I locked the door with finality.
I flung myself to the bed and wept frenziedly
What a nightmare!
“I love this. I love that I am the first to rip you open. I am glad that I can touch a virgin’s spilt blood. I am glad” he had said like a dramatic fool with such glee!
He went on his knees with his fists thrown in the air like a victorious gladiator in a ring!
I saw it like a 6D camera…
I screamed as if my eyes were being plucked out.
The memories of the five minutes thrust haunted me…
“I love you…I love you…I loved you since I saw you as a baby…I nurtured this thought since then… it’s a dream come true” he said as he destroyed my life, looking deeply into my teary eyes
Love?
So this is love?
This is what it means when people say ‘make love’
Love my foot!
I’d rather hate than ‘Love’ this way!
“Don’t cry. Aren’t you loving it?” he said again as he laughed
The more he said that, the more I hated him
The more I wished to stab him dead on the spot, exposing his dirty act to the whole world.
“Jesus, this is fucking great!” he exclaimed with great ecstasy as he brushed his sweaty smelly nose against my cheek
So Jesus is even aware of all these?
Their Jesus could allow this to happen to an innocent girl like me…
He could mention His name in this dirty act and he didn’t act or do anything?
I thought they said He was powerful
Why did He create sex?
Why couldn’t He stop this beast?
Why couldn’t He send fire and brimstone from heaven?
Couldn’t He?
Why?
“There is no Jesus!…if peradventure I am wrong, then He is not powerful! He isn’t a savior” those words poured out of my mouth accompanied by my tears
Wouldn’t He strike me down?
Wouldn’t He slap me for blasphemy?
I waited as I listened quietly, tears still streaming down
I heard nothing
I saw nothing!
“Maybe there isn’t any Jesus or God or whatever anyways” I concluded as I fell to the ground
It hurts!
It pains!
The pain in my tummy, down my legs made my thin legs to shiver uncontrollably
I had never felt that way before
As I felt the cold shiver down my spine and I shook vigorously, it felt as if my heart wanted to jump out of its cage.
It was that bad!
There was a knock at the door.
“Open this door” Mum called from outside
I looked towards the door and it looked so far.
How many minutes would it take for me to get to the door?
That would be ages…
“My children are late for school. Open this door” She banged louder
Tears streamed down my face again
I wish I could garner strength from somewhere but I couldn’t.
I looked towards the wardrobe and there was Sissy’s uniform
I wished I could draw it out magically so that she could have it but no…I couldn’t!
I was so weak that I couldn’t move a finger.
The coldness of the bare floor gave me such comfortability that I had to just concur to its embrace and acceptance.
“Are you crazy Mercy? Better don’t let me utter what is in my mouth because if I do, the ground would be higher than you” she shouted
I didn’t move
I knew it was very dangerous
I knew that I had aroused such anger that if she caught me, the ground would have me in, buried lifelessly but I couldn’t move.
I could just cry…
…And I did it well!
“Bobo, get me the electric kettle with the water in it. I will cook someone to death today.” She said angrily and she meant it!
She doesn’t make empty threat
But I didn’t stand up.
It was soothing as it touched my tummy directly
What was that?
It was like a hot pack against my hurting tummy
I tried lifting my hand and I cringed as I touched it….
Hot water!
She sent hot water streaming down from under the door.
Chai!
I tried to move away as I saw more steaming streams coming towards me.
“Mummy please” I screamed as I moved my sore body away from the door side
“Open this door, you fool!” she screamed the more
I shook my head as I could feel burns all over my body.
My tears continued on their trails
“Dear, wouldn’t you come and talk to this fish for me? Sissy’s uniform is inside the room and she doesn’t want to open the door” she screamed
“Knock harder” I heard his voice faintly from afar
“Its 8 o’clock already Mr. Man…the school bus is already around. Can’t you hear the honking? Come and break this door down for me please” she cried out again.
“I’m in the bathroom” he replied
“Oh God! What a mess! Mercy, just know that you are dead today. You are really dead today” she said in a shaky voice that was determined to do anything
“Get me more hot water” I could hear her voice once more but I drifted off into sleep, pillowing my head with my hands as more hot streams splashed into my sore tummy and legs
I felt it really bad
But I didn’t care …
…not anymore!
—————
I stretched as I wiped the drool off my mouth
Where was I?
Has it all been a dream?
A bad, scary dream?
The pain from my tummy down my lower rib jabbed me up.
I remembered so clearly what had happened
And it dawned on me that I was in a great huge mess because of what I had done.
I jumped to my feet and though I could still feel the pain, it had reduced
For how many minutes had I slept?
Chai!
Soup don cook for me!
My heart started beating fast as I walked to the door
“Mum?” I called out
I had no response
I peeped through the key hole and it was dark.
She must have left
I needed to brace up courage and bath
I staggered to the adjoining bathroom and as the water from the shower ran through my hair into other parts of me, I wished it could wash me away too
The entire me!
Minutes later, I mopped my body and wore my school uniform.
As I was about pulling my hair into a ponytail and wear my sandals, there was a soft knock at the door
They hadn’t left?
Oh my God!
“Mercy’ it was a cool voice
Whose voice was that?
I walked to the door and turned the key twice
I opened the door
Splash!
Hot water came travelling from the bowl mum held in her hands.
Just like in cartoon series, I quickly bowed and turned my side towards her in a movie-like slow motion.
The look on her face was murderous
As the hot liquid washed the outer layer of my right hand, my side and my leg away, I fell to the ground with a loud thud, banging my head on the bed
I screamed as my head seemed to be off my body.
Her revengeful laughter rang on in my ears like a killer bell before I started drifting away
I’m gonna die
I’m gonna die
I repeated silently as my spirit walked away gently and gradually from my body.
I heard the many loud bangs at the door
“Mama Mercy!” people called out urgently, banging the door
“Mercy!” I heard my friend who was our neighbor’s maid, Alice call out
I smiled ruefully
Alice came too late
Adieu Mon Amie!
(Adapted from a true life story)
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