[center]Dame Patience Jonathan Speaks Out!!!! (Enjoy!)[/center]

NAIJA NEWS: Thank you for taking the time to speak with us

DAME PATIENCE: Us? But I am talking to only you nah! Anyway you have to urry up o! because I have meeting with a women leaders

NAIJA NEWS: So what would you be discussing at the meeting?

DAME PATIENCE: Ha! That is our own  PDP secret o my son.

NAIJA NEWS: Son? You are quiet funny Madame, I am more than 50yrs so I could not possible be your son

DAME PATIENCE: As I yam Mrs President, everybody is my Children

NAIJA NEWS: Mrs President?

DAME PATIENCE: Yes nah! What type of Jomalist you be self? Don’t you know that Goodluck na my husband?

NAIJA NEWS: Journalist Madame!

DAME PATIENCE: That is what I said nah! JOMALIST!

NAIJA NEWS: By the way it is very courageous of you to grant us this interview since your husband has been avoiding debates.

DAME PATIENCE: You know Goodluck is a very nice people, that is why he didn’t show up, so he can unite this country.

NAIJA NEWS: I don’t understand, please kindly explain more

DAME PATIENCE: I thought you see the debate.

NAIJA NEWS: Yes I saw it

DAME PATIENCE: Didn’t you see why Goodluck no show up?

NAIJA NEWS: People are saying he didn’t show up because he doesn’t have anything to sell to the viewing public

DAME PATIENCE: Ha! My son, how can you Insult ya own president like this eh? Is it because he is a very quiet people? Even small boy like the governors don’t sell anything and you are calling ya own President a trader! It is not fair at all o!

NAIJA NEWS: Of cause not Madame, I would never insult or disrespect the president of this country. What I was trying to say is, people think the president is afraid of debates because PDP has nothing to offer

DAME PATIENCE: That is a lie o! Didn’t we share rice and biscuit?

NAIJA NEWS: That’s not what I am talking about Madame, and in some countries people would see that as trying to bribe the voters

DAME PATIENCE: It is lie! Which country be that? Because I have travel to so many country. I even meet President Mrs Obama

NAIJA NEWS: She is not the president Madame, she is just Mrs Obama

DAME PATIENCE: Who tell you that? See we have our own office and if we don’t treat our husband well they won’t rule fine so we are also president. By the way the Bible say husband and wife join together is one. So we are one people.

NAIJA NEWS: You were telling us why the president couldn’t attend the debates

DAME PATIENCE: Who be this us, you keep talking about, because I am talking to only you. And No I was telling you I meet President Mrs Obama, and she show me her turkey garden with so many turkey. Now tell me can she and her husband eat all the turkey?

NAIJA NEWS: I don’t understand

DAME PATIENCE: Try to understand o Mr Jomalist because my time will soon be up. Anyway the husband and wife can’t eat all those turkey wey I see. They will share it around, so why did anybody not say Obama and his wife are bribing people with turkey? But when we share rice and biscuit they will think so.

NAIJA NEWS: I understand you now Madame, please tell us about the debates

DAME PATIENCE: You and this debates self!  Didn’t you watch it, because if you see the debate you go notice 3 Alhajis with agbada standing. Now if my husband go join them don’t you think it will cause religion-riots?

NAIJA NEWS: I still don’t understand, please enlighten us more

DAME PATIENCE: Ribadu, Shekarau, Buhari are Moslems and they even were agbada to show it well! well!. Now Goodluck is a Christian and if he stand in their center without agbada  a lot of Christians will feel the 3 mallams want to oppress him and it can cause religion-riots. So to keep peace in this country Goodluck no attend the debate, so you can see his wisdom and why so many people love him so much.

NAIJA NEWS: Is that the official PDP statement or your personal view?

DAME PATIENCE: Which kind question is that? Goodluck is PDP, and PDP is Goodluck.

NAIJA NEWS: So is that the president’s reason for not attending or yours?

DAME PATIENCE: He is my husband I know what is inside im mind

NAIJA NEWS: So what do you think about BB?

DAME PATIENCE: We have imported 3 containers from China wey we will share for our next rally.

NAIJA NEWS: I don’t quiet follow Madame, please explain more

DAME PATIENCE: I was talking about the Black Berry you ask about. I say we go share it on our next rally. I will give you one after we finish this talk.

NAIJA NEWS: Thanks, that’s so generous of you but,

DAME PATIENCE: Now you are happy that I want to dash you Black Berry, but you just talk it say when we share rice we are bribing

NAIJA NEWS: Madame, I was not referring to the Black Berry phone when I said BB, I was actually referring to Buhari/Bakare

DAME PATIENCE: Oh o! Why didn’t you say so, anyway they should go and relax because PDP has win

NAIJA NEWS: I don’t think so Madame, because they seem to be getting new converts by the day and they stand a big chance of wining!


DAME PATIENCE: Convents eh! So that pastor think say na he alone know how to pray. Don’t worry PDP go hire plenty pastors to convert many people too

NAIJA NEWS: Since they made it public, people are saying BB has about the best manifesto, still we are yet to see any real manifesto from the PDP except promises which the public seems to be getting weary of. So tell me, what has PDP in store for Nigerians, and why should they vote for your husband?

DAME PATIENCE: We don’t have any store in PDP because we are not traders. But you know I am a Christian, so I no go lie. I know there be a lot of Thiefy! thiefy! people for PDP, but my husband is a good men and a good Christian and people know that, so they will vote for him.

NAIJA NEWS: But if he is surrounded by corrupt and greedy people, then how can he fix Nigeria?

DAME PATIENCE: Prayers my son! Through prayers, because nothing wey prayers no fit solve.

NAIJA NEWS: I don’t think this answer can convince anybody to vote for the President since they also believe heaven help those who help themselves. Which means the President must prove himself by dealing with corruption, and besides Bakare is a pastor yet he is working so hard and not just depending on prayers

DAME PATIENCE: I don’t think he is good pastor, otherwise he will not be working so hard. I believe say he be 419 pastor, you know we have so many of them in Nigeria collecting tithe and offering. If he is good pastor, he for pray and ask God to do miracle for them to win. Abi you don’t read Bible? Moses divide river into two, Samson kill elephant with is hand so nothing prayers cant does. I believe this pastor church no give him enough tithe that’s why he join politics to collect money.

NAIJA NEWS: But a lot of people think otherwise, they believe he has integrity and at the way he is going, he might actually become our next VP

DAME PATIENCE: That can’t happen, we are the owner of Aso Rock, tell pastor to go back to church. By the way I don try small, so gimme ya last question before I go.

NAIJA NEWS: Please tell us about PDP’s manifesto

DAME PATIENCE: Talk less, and Do more!

NAIJA NEWS: That’s it?

DAME PATIENCE: Yes o! my son! That is why my husband don’t talk a lots because he is always think of what to do next…,  Wow! It is raining heavily outside, please ask my PA to get my UMBLERRA! My son please make sure when you press ya hand in April, you must press it on UMBLERRA. Tell all ya friends and family, UMBLERRA!  UMBLERRA! UMBLERRA! Thank you!

Also see This:   https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-626011.0.html

Watch out for more,
Lenny

Lenny

The Mgbeke "First Lady" never fails to deliver!

Anything typed about her, I believe.

Blazay:

The Mgbeke "First Lady" never fails to deliver!

Anything typed about her, I believe.

LOL

nice one op

Make una leave this woman alone nah.

Blazay:

The Mgbeke "First Lady" never fails to deliver!

Anything typed about her, I believe.

You are a real clown! Although I wouldn't put the types of responses given by Damn Dame Patience past her sha!

This should be moved to the jokes section with immediate effect because it waters down the quality of this section.

Hehehehe

Poster, you must be a mind reader lol, that woman? chai!!!

Original market woman

nah pls try show some respect to the office of the first lady of Nigeria

Give honor to whom honor is due

Pharoh:

This should be moved to the jokes section with immediate effect because it waters down the quality of this section.

do you have some authority around here that we should be aware of?

cotflgohaha

@rebranded
so what does this "office of the first lady" entails? cos I am hearing BUHARI plans to scrap it cos he believes it's an avenue to waste money. Nigerians elected a president and not a first lady, but then the president's wife is treated like the president himself and in some cases the wives believes they are actualy presidents. Have you forgotten all to soon "President Queen Turai"? Though she was not elected but she ruled Nigeria for at least 3 months.

Still I have to say this, I respect Dame Jonathan as an elderly woman and if the writing come across as disrespecting her as a person, then I am truly sorry cos that was not the reason behind it.

Whatever you sow, you reap, either good or bad

If you make jest of another persons Mother, Wife, some other low lifes will also make jest of your Mother, if she is no more, they will make jest of your wife/husband, if you cant find a wife/husband to marry, the punishment will be passed to your nearest brother or sisters.


No be me talk am oo, na so I read am

Whatever you sow, you reap, either good or bad

If you make jest of another persons Mother, Wife, some other low lifes will also make jest of your Mother, if she is no more, they will make jest of your wife/husband, if you cant find a wife/husband to marry, the punishment will be passed to your nearest brother or sisters.


No be me talk am oo, na so I read am

Well spoken bruh.

Its not a lie that she is a sorrowful semi illiterate embarrassing the nation with her adulterated and kwashiowkorish english

MeGaStReEt:

Whatever you sow, you reap, either good or bad

If you make jest of another persons Mother, Wife, some other low lifes will also make jest of your Mother, if she is no more, they will make jest of your wife/husband, if you cant find a wife/husband to marry, the punishment will be passed to your nearest brother or sisters.


No be me talk am oo, na so I read am

let leave this woman alone. Grammar no be money.

MeGaStReEt:

Whatever you sow, you reap, either good or bad

If you make jest of another persons Mother, Wife,  some other low lifes will also make jest of your Mother, if she is no more, they will make jest of your wife/husband, if you cant find a wife/husband to marry, the punishment will be passed to your nearest brother or sisters.


No be me talk am oo, na so I read am

shusssh! 

nonsense!

It's amazing how many people still live with a clownish ideology.

Lwkmd, Mrs President Jonathan

What is 'office of d first lady'? What a bullshit!!! Abeg such nonsense should be scrapped jareeee. It Is being abused. BTW, I mean no disrespect at all, there is absolutely nothing like 'making jest'. An individual in such a capacity should behave as one, should portray it by all standards. With all due respect, her comments are highly embarrassing. Even d husband knows that. So what is it. The sad thing is, she doesn't plan to polish herself. So we should see her comments as entertaining. To be a public figure is not crayfish in d market.

@adaphik
Thanks,

Lenny9000:

@adaphik
Thanks,

u welcum jareee. I just don't understand y ppl cannot draw d line btw sense n nonsense. Absolute bullshit.

To start with, it is very unconstitutional to be wasting tax payers money on some non-issues especially those that most 'first whatever' raises. Has anyone here had come across anywhere were office of Mrs Obama is mentioned? There is absolutely nothing like that!. It is time we begin to get serous in this country.

@MeGaStReEt,
1. I saw your insults on my other post about Dbanj, so let me quickly say this. This is a public forum so I have no right to tell or dictate to you what to say or not say, Instead I will appeal to you that if you don’t like my take on any particular subjects please say so with reasons behind your take on the subject, instead of insults. I assume there are some matured folks here that is why I bother posting, otherwise I would remain on "Read mode only" which is what I do most of the time anyway.


2. About the other stuff you wrote here,
That can only be possible if I or my family conduct ourselves the way Mrs Jonathan conducts herself publicly. Finally I don’t see much difference between this "Write up" and the way she speaks or conducts herself publicly. Do you want me to show you online links of her speeches? So if this is the truth, then how am I making jest of her? The truth is bitter, but we can’t run away from it. It is only by facing and dealing with the truth we can better ourselves. Be well

So what's the point of this post?? This is bullshite