I am writing this with sorrow and sadness in my heart ... tears close to my eyes..

I am going to narrate a long story please, bear with me. I am going to give out full details about me, so that people that want to reach me can do ..

I am not doing this asking for financial effort .. I had many monikers here that I have used in the past to asked for advice about my problems.. it is like I was born to have issues or problem. I don't just know.

my name is nedu, 21 years old, the first child and son.

it all started around 2014, I was duped by some fraudster to a toll of about 50k, the only money my father had, how I was duped is another story on it own...

the disappearance of this money, completely scattered everything in my family, mom because mentally abnormal because the blame was on her, I later confessed. but things never get better..

worse upon worse.

I managed to come out of sec. school around 2017, I told my father that he should not bother about helping me or sponsoring or furthering my education.. I went and joined total filling station , I started working there, at that period I was worried about my family, depression set in and I became more concerned about my family.

about two months, my dad called me and told me to buy a jamb form that I will be going to higher institution, I initially refused.. until it turned to a force and I resigned from my work, bought a jamb form and did the exam..

I wanted to apply for DELSU, i changed my mind because I was worried, my dad can't afford that, I realized that my father motive was that he wants one of his children to go to higher institution...

I then opt for a polytechnic in Delta State, I planned to do just the two years program and face life because I don't want to be a financial burden to my dad.

I got admission and during my two years in Delta State polytechnic Ogwashi uku, it was a bit rough, my dad sold one of his land to sponsor me.

I finished this year, I decided to pick up a job in one bet9ja shop, salary 10k, I say let me manage.

.......

HERE IS THE ROUGH RIDE.

between 2018-2020, my dad shop just got burgled countless times... he was forced to close down, this period and he have nothing doing,


if any of you could remember, someone shared a story that his mom was suffering from some mental health issue, some said it was dementia or whatever, last year or so... I was the one..

yes my mom is still like that till now, there is no peace at home, dad and mom are like repels against each other, anger and aggression are transferred to us by mom..

dad always complaining over anything anyone does..

me getting frustrated and unhappy every day in the house... sometimes I wish I just die so that I would stop hearing and seeing all these.

now my problem is I am having issues with myself, I am beginning to fear that depression have eaten me up..

my sluggishness this day is too much,
I can't make quick decision
I have become dull as hell..

used to be smart in calculation, now I am like a Dundee... can't even count money properly...

can't read properly

speech problem.

can't express myself.

too quiet and bored.

no interest, nothing interest me again.

emotional down.

very disrespectful this days. and proud..

....

I just came back from the bet9ja shop where I am working, I was termed by acustomer as "dull and stupid fella"...

two days ago another customer said that to me. I knew it.

I am now devastated, I don't know what to do.. I am going crazy and sad, I am close to crying..

Wow

The goal of life is to not fall.
but to always get back up after every fall----unknown.



whatever you are going through kindly know that they are people who have gone through worse and survived.


just pick yourself up and write down your lessons.

Pls try and see a professional. Advices here will only make things worst. God speed brother, I feel your pain

Face your fear bro
You are not even half way to what other people face
Live life as it comes

OP I will advise you to contact thatfairguy1. he just recently came back from Yaba left and he might be of help in your effort to regain your sanity

please guard your mind jealously. You need to develop overcomers self defence mechanism. If you keep thinking about these problems they will drain and finish you. Better still ask Jesus to help you and he surely will

Since you can still think and typed correctly...you just have to retrace your step to where it all began...get most of the load off your head,for now,nothing is wrong with you because I no sure say crase man no say him they craze...

4teenblaq:
I am writing this with sorrow and sadness in my heart ... tears close to my eyes..

I am going to narrate a long story please, bear with me. I am going to give out full details about me, so that people that want to reach me can do ..

I am not doing this asking for financial effort .. I had many monikers here that I have used in the past to asked for advice about my problems.. it is like I was born to have issues or problem. I don't just know.

my name is nedu, 21 years old, the first child and son.

it all started around 2014, I was duped by some fraudster to a toll of about 50k, the only money my father had, how I was duped is another story on it own...

the disappearance of this money, completely scattered everything in my family, mom because mentally abnormal because the blame was on her, I later confessed. but things never get better..

worse upon worse.

I managed to come out of sec. school around 2017, I told my father that he should not bother about helping me or sponsoring or furthering my education.. I went and joined total filling station , I started working there, at that period I was worried about my family, depression set in and I became more concerned about my family.

about two months, my dad called me and told me to buy a jamb form that I will be going to higher institution, I initially refused.. until it turned to a force and I resigned from my work, bought a jamb form and did the exam..

I wanted to apply for DELSU, i changed my mind because I was worried, my dad can't afford that, I realized that my father motive was that he wants one of his children to go to higher institution...

I then opt for a polytechnic in Delta State, I planned to do just the two years program and face life because I don't want to be a financial burden to my dad.

I got admission and during my two years in Delta State polytechnic Ogwashi uku, it was a bit rough, my dad sold one of his land to sponsor me.

I finished this year, I decided to pick up a job in one bet9ja shop, salary 10k, I say let me manage.

.......

HERE IS THE ROUGH RIDE.

between 2018-2020, my dad shop just got burgled countless times... he was forced to close down, this period and he have nothing doing,


if any of you could remember, someone shared a story that his mom was suffering from some mental health issue, some said it was dementia or whatever, last year or so... I was the one..

yes my mom is still like that till now, there is no peace at home, dad and mom are like repels against each other, anger and aggression are transferred to us by mom..

dad always complaining over anything anyone does..

me getting frustrated and unhappy every day in the house... sometimes I wish I just die so that I would stop hearing and seeing all these.

now my problem is I am having issues with myself, I am beginning to fear that depression have eaten me up..

my sluggishness this day is too much,
I can't make quick decision
I have become dull as hell..

used to be smart in calculation, now I am like a Dundee... can't even count money properly...

can't read properly

speech problem.

can't express myself.

too quiet and bored.

no interest, nothing interest me again.

emotional down.

very disrespectful this days. and proud..

....

I just came back from the bet9ja shop where I am working, I was termed by acustomer as "dull and stupid fella"...

two days ago another customer said that to me. I knew it.

I am now devastated, I don't know what to do.. I am going crazy and sad, I am close to crying..

Your entire family is under some spell or attack.... You need family deliverance.


This is too much for a young man with a bright future like you.

guard your heart with all diligence for out of it flows the issues of life so watch it sad and depressing thoughts makes you sad and depressed.

I want you to understand that you're not alone. We all have come to this live to face one challenge or the other and the best you can do is to embrace it and move on. First,you need to begin to love yourself. You've been blaming yourself for too long but instead you should encourage yourself. No one can make you feel better than yourself. Secondly,you need to understand that you're too young to be carrying the families problems.well,of course, you're the first born so that gene of responsibility is in you irrespective of your age but that not withstanding, I think you should focus more on yourself and begin to set targets as regard your future. Thirdly,Let me empathize with you and acknowledge how devastating it can be seeing your mum passing through tough times.I think you should get more closer to her and discuss your future plans with her. I think this will make her begin to brighten up. Mother's usually feel excited and relieved when their child bring up such discussions. Fortly,always look at the brighter side of life and don't let anyone talk you down.Accept you have been making errors lately and its affecting customer relationship but my advise is that you begin to work on yourself and gradually you'll get back to your normal self. With all these said,the key advice is 'LOVE YOURSELF'.

Mabizela:
OP I will advise you to contact thatfairguy1. he just recently came back from Yaba left and he might be of help in your effort to regain your sanity

Being discharged from a psychiatric hospital doesn't make one a mental health professional.

OP, what you wrote there are clear signs of brain fog (you can read it up). Please don't ever take any antidepressant medication without first being clinically diagnosed.

Mindlog:


Being discharged from a psychiatric hospital doesn't make one a mental health professional.

Mabizela shouldn't be take serious, he has Alzheimer