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Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? - Health - Nairaland

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Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by squad03: 11:51am On Dec 13, 2020
I have been pondering on this for several years and I'll appreciate the inputs of good people on this forum.

Way before I got married,I had considered that should I encounter any delay in childbearing,I would be open to 'unconventional' means like IVF, Surrogacy or adoption.
Thankfully,I didn't encounter any delay and my husband and I have had 2 kids.I am not keen to have any more kids but my husband is open to more so we are keeping our fingers for a few more years.

Despite having completed my family (maybe temporarily), I have always kept on my mind the urge to volunteer to be a surrogate for another family.Why not since pregnancy treats me really well,my body snaps right back and I hardly experience that postpartum drag, it's a superpower I feel bad about going to waste since I probably won't be having anymore kids for myself.
Over the years,I have encountered couples I would gladly have engaged in this conversation but every time I run it past my husband (before I get their hopes up) he shoots the idea down.

I found it quite odd at first until I read about a woman who after 2 kids died during childbirth as a surrogate for another couple. That was scary for me but it didn't quite dampen the desire.

The first couple I spoke to him about are friends of ours who have been making efforts and he said he appreciates my kindness but that this is Nigeria where nothing is black and white and he wouldn't want any troubles as a result of it.
I paused for a bit.
We have all been friends for a while since we were all single and there's an adage in Yoruba that translates to 'Communual eating isn't sweet if one person doesn't contribute' and there has been that silent wedge even though it's often ignored.

For me, I can hardly see the downside to this,granted I will have to pause my career for just a few months during the advanced stage or early postpartum phase but that pales in comparison to going on the journey with a friend who can be a part of it every step of the way,can come to Antenatal and ultrasound scans..it's exciting to me.They will be rest assured that I will be taking all the right steps to ensure perfectly healthy babies.Please bear in mind that the baby(ies) will be 100% theirs (husband's sperm and his wife's eggs),I will just be a happy incubator.

There are legal aspects I am happy to follow through as they please and this is no quest for financial gains as my family is more than comfortable.

I also have a cousin who has been trying for a baby but has medical conditions which have hindered this so far and I will do this for her in a heartbeat but I have to convince my husband to allow me.
I have been having sleepless nights about it and I'm hoping that since it's family this time,he won't hesitate to give me his blessings considering it's a sacrifice for him as well.This is the only time I can take this break in my career and I want it to be meaningful.
God answers prayers in diverse ways,maybe this is it for my cousin.

Husbands in the house,how will you react to such a request from your spouse?

Wives,can you volunteer to be a surrogate?

Parents-to-be,will you allow known persons to be surrogates for you or have you considered any downsides to it?

I come in peace and for the love of babies,may the joy go round.

42 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by elantraceey(f): 11:56am On Dec 13, 2020
I'm here for comments. Thoughts of giving birth scares me and maybe that will change when I give birth but for now, that's not even a thought.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by HUSTLER001: 11:58am On Dec 13, 2020
Person go just dey begin dey think of trouble to give to herself. Na wa oh.

89 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by adudu208(m): 12:34pm On Dec 13, 2020
HUSTLER001:
Person go just dey begin dey think of trouble to give to herself. Na wa oh.
The idea is a no no for me. This is a classic case of " trouble dey sleep, yanga go wake am".

48 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Activist001(m): 2:47pm On Dec 13, 2020
If I was married, NO I won't allow that in my house no matter who or how much is involved.

This is an example of wahala dey him own, you wan wake am.

Thank you. grin

29 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by helinues: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
shocked
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by slawormiir: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Damnnn niggarrrr
Isoright....grab my Hennessey and my weed while i seek for knowledge on this topic
A real niggar should always smoke some weed, bang enough pussy, drink some bottles, make some dope money and SEEK FOR KNOWLEDGE anyday anytime twice on Monday especially on topic like this that is almost beyond his comprehension
Am going to put on my intellectual cap while blazing my weed as i perused and read between lines on every comment on this topic

54 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by nautybride: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Yes, I can allow my husband but I can't do it as a wife. Pregnancy is not an easy journey for me to now give the baby for money. I am to emotional for that kind of journey.

1 Like

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Bullary: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Never
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by lekki1444: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
grin
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by naijadrivablog: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Babymama na d name

15 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by ebukamat34: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
sad
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Authority1o1(m): 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Okay...



Do you really want to be a surrogate because you love babies and feel that women passing through conception-difficulty should be mothers too, or is it for the revenue it's going to fetch?


From your post, I can effortlessly see that the latter is your plight. Instead of becoming a surrogate, implore the party to consider adoption. I mean, what if it goes wrong, you leave your two kids motherless, and your husband, a widower?

As for me, I and my future wife will sincerely join you in prayers, but surrogate? Mbanu.

11 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Zonedealt: 1:47pm On Dec 14, 2020
Why would i

2 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by sylve11: 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
squad03:

I found it quite odd at first until I read about a woman who after 2 kids died during childbirth as a surrogate for another couple. That was scary for me but it didn't quite dampen the desire.

Parents-to-be,will you allow known persons to be surrogates for you or have you considered any downsides to it?

I come in peace and for the love of babies,may the joy go round.

Having children is not compulsory. cool

1 Like

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by tammie24: 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
To carry and birth a baby is not easy

I can be a surrogate for my sister but then I don't have a sister

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Nobody: 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
yes
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Promiseold: 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
See Jamb question
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Starboytwo(m): 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
Suro what?
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by 900warriorz(m): 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
Why would my Wife carry another person's child?


I'm proudly African fa undecided

7 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by WowSweetGuy(m): 1:48pm On Dec 14, 2020
elantraceey:
I'm here for comments. Thoughts of giving birth scares me and maybe that will change when I give birth but for now, that's not even a thought.
You must push o

That's why u r a woman

1 Like

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Anaerobi(m): 1:49pm On Dec 14, 2020
it's very difficult.
after reading this, one part of me said No.
and the other part of me asked me what is Love?
.
This is Africa where we do things and being much careful.
..
the truth is that I understand the level of love the Op have in heart. a heart of Gold, my kind of heart.
.
But I just pray it won't hit her back in future in one way or the other.
.
.

.
But u giving the man 2kids and saying u don't want another kids... u better give him more kids if he agrees to this....

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by King44(m): 1:49pm On Dec 14, 2020
No way.... For two reasons only.

1. To avoid future wahala.

2. I can't stand it, there are levels to what I can accept.

But surrogacy is a good advice for those who have womb issues and vhf whala

3 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Maxikenna(f): 1:49pm On Dec 14, 2020
Ok
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Swinger60(f): 1:50pm On Dec 14, 2020
I remember once asking my husband this question.

His question was capital No.

1 Like

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Karleb(m): 1:50pm On Dec 14, 2020
In the spirit of giving, if she'll agree that I impregnate other women who want kids, why not?

4 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Adakintroy: 1:51pm On Dec 14, 2020
Make una do and shut up with all this nonsense behaviour una de import from West

This is why so many country don't want Western Civilization beyond a point.

Surrogate my yanch...ivf my..

3 Likes

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Seniorwriter(m): 1:51pm On Dec 14, 2020
Activist001:
If I was married, NO I won't allow that in my house no matter who or how much is involved.

This is an example of wahala dey him own, you go wake am.

Thank you.

Well if done legally there is no wahala involved...though I feel it's unnessary going by the OPs status.....
However surrogacy is trending but not legally in Nigeria or Africa @large...ull be surprised how many rich baren ladies pay to get this service.
BTW why are the new sign-ups here on NL all taking up female gender profile!

Anyways Proactivity Leads To Productivity!

© Seniorwriter

1 Like

Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by Nobody: 1:51pm On Dec 14, 2020
hmm can that be possible
Re: Would You Permit Your Partner To Be A Surrogate? by TemmyT002(m): 1:51pm On Dec 14, 2020
Lai lai
No difference with marrying or dating a single mother. No difference.

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