₦airaland Forum

onyxo76:
i got married 11 years ago, a few months to my wedding, i and a female co worker had some fun together since our spouses to be were not in town and we helped ourselves to prevent loneliness.
the female co worker also got married about a year after i did, and has 2 kids presently.
we have not seen each other since when i got married and had to relocate to another state.
she got my phone number from a friend some 4 years and we chat from time to time and sometimes request for some financial assistance from me to meet some needs, i send her some amount if i can but not everytime.
recently she has been asking that i pay her a visit in her city, that she would love to see me again etc.i have turned down her request severally but she keeps saying that i don't want to see her and so on.
i told her that ill try and pay a visit early next year and she's been saying i will stay the night to which i declined as i have no excuse to tell my spouse that i will be away from home for the night.
I'm considering cutting her off completely but I'm thinking of how to go about it, but at the same time i feel it will be quite harsh as she's quite a nice person, I'm simply not comfortable with her eagerness to see me, or is she having a troubled marriage ?

Wether she is having a troubled marriage or not is not something that should bother you because you can never solve it

If you should visit her, then be ready to go down with her

If you really mean to avoid going there

Take a resolution to stop pep talk with her

Stop searching for her online on WhatsApp

Don't pick her calls and when you pick just tell her later pls I am busy

When next she demands for financial help give her if you have and when you are tired of giving her you stop it

But if you feel like you can't hurt her because of the love you have for her

It's your choice to be her boyfriend or not, after all you and I knows that you are going to have sex with her when next you meet

You are playing a very dangerous game which could either lead to the end of your marriage or even your life. The beginning of your write up you said that you and the lady in question who was your colleague at that time had fun with each other when your spouses were not in town so as to avoid loneliness. You cheated on your wife and you think you are safe. You may have handled her more than she has ever been handled that's why she is coming back for more. I would have told you to inform her that you are married but from your write up she already knows. She is willing to cheat on her husband with you which is very bad. Back to your question, I believe it is best for you and her if you block her completely. If not the day this thing you both are doing in secret will come to light, it may lead to either of the two things I stated earlier. It will not be you alone but the both of you. I assure you that if it is the first one which is ending your marriage, you will not have anything to do with this lady in question. So why risk it?

are you seriously asking this question, op? it's your wife I pity

onyxo76:
i got married 11 years ago, a few months to my wedding, i and a female co worker had some fun together since our spouses to be were not in town and we helped ourselves to prevent loneliness.
the female co worker also got married about a year after i did, and has 2 kids presently.
we have not seen each other since when i got married and had to relocate to another state.
she got my phone number from a friend some 4 years and we chat from time to time and sometimes request for some financial assistance from me to meet some needs, i send her some amount if i can but not everytime.
recently she has been asking that i pay her a visit in her city, that she would love to see me again etc.i have turned down her request severally but she keeps saying that i don't want to see her and so on.
i told her that ill try and pay a visit early next year and she's been saying i will stay the night to which i declined as i have no excuse to tell my spouse that i will be away from home for the night.
I'm considering cutting her off completely but I'm thinking of how to go about it, but at the same time i feel it will be quite harsh as she's quite a nice person, I'm simply not comfortable with her eagerness to see me, or is she having a troubled marriage ?

Smh its bad enough young people in NL no get sense, married man don join list. Let's play this scenario you go there and her husband catches you and outs you to your wife, do you think it will be worth it. If you don't have any discernment abilities I'm here for you. Tell her sorry you are a married man and focus on your marriage and block her if you have to.

frozen70:
Wether she is having a troubled marriage or not is not something that should bother you because you can never solve it

If you should visit her, then be ready to go down with her

If you really mean to avoid going there

Take a resolution to stop pep talk with her

Stop searching for her online on WhatsApp

Don't pick her calls and when you pick just tell her later pls I am busy

When next she demands for financial help give her if you have and when you are tired of giving her you stop it

But if you feel like you can't hurt her because of the love you have for her

It's your choice to be her boyfriend or not, after all you and I knows that you are going to have sex with her when next you meet

many thanks.

pcguru1:
Smh its bad enough young people in NL no get sense, married man don join list. Let's play this scenario you go there and her husband catches you and outs you to your wife, do you think it will be worth it. If you don't have any discernment abilities I'm here for you. Tell her sorry you are a married man and focus on your marriage and block her if you have to.

appreciated thanks

boxer022:
You are playing a very dangerous game which could either lead to the end of your marriage or even your life. The beginning of your write up you said that you and the lady in question who was your colleague at that time had fun with each other when your spouses were not in town so as to avoid loneliness. You cheated on your wife and you think you are safe. You may have handled her more than she has ever been handled that's why she is coming back for more. I would have told you to inform her that you are married but from your write up she already knows. She is willing to cheat on her husband with you which is very bad. Back to your question, I believe it is best for you and her if you block her completely. If not the day this thing you both are doing in secret will come to light, it may lead to either of the two things I stated earlier. It will not be you alone but the both of you. I assure you that if it is the first one which is ending your marriage, you will not have anything to do with this lady in question. So why risk it?

i was not yet married then, neither was she, we had our patners to be then

Mumu. A woman you're not married to has been requesting financial assistance and you're obliging.
Forget about the sex, you're wasting your money and gambling with your health. God knows how many other men she sleeps with.

onyxo76:
many thanks.

You are welcome dear

onyxo76:
i got married 11 years ago, a few months to my wedding, i and a female co worker had some fun together since our spouses to be were not in town and we helped ourselves to prevent loneliness.
the female co worker also got married about a year after i did, and has 2 kids presently.
we have not seen each other since when i got married and had to relocate to another state.
she got my phone number from a friend some 4 years and we chat from time to time and sometimes request for some financial assistance from me to meet some needs, i send her some amount if i can but not everytime.
recently she has been asking that i pay her a visit in her city, that she would love to see me again etc.i have turned down her request severally but she keeps saying that i don't want to see her and so on.
i told her that ill try and pay a visit early next year and she's been saying i will stay the night to which i declined as i have no excuse to tell my spouse that i will be away from home for the night.
I'm considering cutting her off completely but I'm thinking of how to go about it, but at the same time i feel it will be quite harsh as she's quite a nice person, I'm simply not comfortable with her eagerness to see me, or is she having a troubled marriage ?

My candid advice to you is to please respect your wife and do not jeopardize your marriage. If you must see her, let's it be in a public place in the day and it shouldn't be more than an hour or two at most. When you do, remind her you are married and make her see stern reasons why you can't indulging in such extramarital frivolities anymore...be guided and be strong-willed.

Zzor:
I hate all this rubbish ex wahala all in the name of being nice and civil, its all an avenue to start another dirty habits. If I have an ex ,then he automatically doesn't exist and if I ever come across him anywhere, I will do as if I've never met him in my entire life,I won't even greet him,I hate people who still stylishly suck over their yeye ex and pretend they are just friends, carry your yeye friendship elsewhere, yes I local like that.mtcheww

you possess the properties of an E. Newspaper

Nicepoker:
you possess the properties of an E. Newspaper

You are wrong, I'm already a midnight one

Jodha:
Cut her off completely...if she has a problem in her marriage...she should seek the help of a marriage counselor...

Thank you sis

But why is it difficult for guys to say NO, let whoever wants to get hurt, get hurts and damn the consequences

Rickmann:
My candid advice to you is to please respect your wife and do not jeopardize your marriage. If you must see her, let's it be in a public place in the day and it shouldn't be more than an hour or two at most. When you do, remind her you are married and make her see stern reasons why you can't indulging in such extramarital frivolities anymore...be guided and be strong-willed.

that's precisely the plan i have, even now I'm not sure i even want to see her again sef, the desperation on her part is getting too much.

She wants to have sex with you again...

onyxo76:
i was not yet married then, neither was she, we had our patners to be then

Good to know, now that this is clear, I believe it is best for the two of you to call it off or risk it then wait for the repercussions that follows. One thing is certain, it is either your marriage ends or it goes a long way to taking your life.

Zzor:
You are wrong, I'm already a midnight one

Keep it up.

Lamanii22:
She wants to have sex with you again...

after 11 years? she must really have a long memory o, anyway she should dismiss that idea as i told her then that once we separate, no moreof that rubbish again

Just tell her you are married and that your wife won't permit that, shikena.


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Zzor:
I hate all this rubbish ex wahala all in the name of being nice and civil, its all an avenue to start another dirty habits. If I have an ex ,then he automatically doesn't exist and if I ever come across him anywhere, I will do as if I've never met him in my entire life,I won't even greet him,I hate people who still stylishly suck over their yeye ex and pretend they are just friends, carry your yeye friendship elsewhere, yes I local like that.mtcheww

Abi oo.

bestabigaelever:
Thank you sis

But why is it difficult for guys to say NO, let whoever wants to get hurt, get hurts and damn the consequences

It's not only guys,....some ladies too....if yhure not comfortable with something...yhu have every right to excuse yhurself....but many people don't want others to feel bad ...even to their own detriment...

Jodha:
It's not only guys,....some ladies too....if yhure not comfortable with something...yhu have every right to excuse yhurself....but many people don't want others to feel bad ...even to their own detriment...

You are right

You still dey ask us?