Souqwaqif:
Good day all,

Please I need good advice from married folks. I have been doing my best in providing for my wife and children. Without much input of support from her despite the fact that she runs a little business and works as a teacher.

I pay the house rent, children school fees, her shop rent, feeding for the house etc. because she is not usually paid alongside others by her state government.

However, from recent findings, I discovered the govt. Has gradually and almost cleared their salary arrears remaining just a few months and yet she does not seem it necessary to at least let me know. Although I won't ask her to give me her money nor subject her outside voluntary support of the family, but one thing is that I am very much disappointed that despite all my efforts in taking care of the family, now that she has money she cannot tell me nor deem it necessary to at least pay for her shop rent.

Please I have called her one on one to talk sense to her after which she will agree to change but am not seeing any change. What else can I be advised on,thanks.

Your mistake lies in expecting her to share information about her finances with you. If you know that you are taking care of all the expenses by yourself; as a man rightly should; then what sheakes shouldn't disturb you.

Having said that, if she wants to run a business, she should pay the business expenses by herself. Since she feels like she does not want to include you into her confidence financially, then let her pay her shop rent by herself. Whether she defaults or not should not concern you. Since she is proving independent, let her carry the full responsibility of her own business.

She's behaving like ASUU, they want to be fully independent, yet they still want to collect salary and allowances from government.

Bola146:
Just leave her, continue doing your best to the family. All the blessings will be coming to you only.

Nigerian blessing I guess.
Na when the man go die we go see the blessing abi? The woman must contributes her quota.

Hello, I am sorry for what you are facing in your marriage. I am always shocked to learn how much importance money is to most marriages. I keep telling my wife that I think it is very stupid indeed that anyone will like money more than their partners.

If you won't get angry I am of the opinion that you have not shown good leadership. As the man (yes, I am traditional in this) being the head doesn't mean you have to command your wife to comply with your way of thinking. It is something you must do by showing example. Make her know that she means more to you than money. Have you done that, prioritizing her above money? It makes no sense that you will trust your partner with your life by marrying her/him, but you won't trust him/her with your money.

Call her, show true leadership. Have business meetings (that's what my wife and I call it) where you discuss family visions and projects that must factor in 100% her own plans. We do this every crossover night... Have a budget of how much such projects will cost including the family upkeep for the year. Measure that budget against your expected incomes (yours and hers) and deliberate where the shortfall will come from. Again, prioritize your wife. By taking leadership role in having visions that encompass her interests and needs, she will become what she is meant to be, an active participant in your life, rather than a competitor that she is right now.

I wish you guys the best.

Souqwaqif:
Good day all,

Please I need good advice from married folks. I have been doing my best in providing for my wife and children. Without much input of support from her despite the fact that she runs a little business and works as a teacher.

I pay the house rent, children school fees, her shop rent, feeding for the house etc. because she is not usually paid alongside others by her state government.

However, from recent findings, I discovered the govt. Has gradually and almost cleared their salary arrears remaining just a few months and yet she does not seem it necessary to at least let me know. Although I won't ask her to give me her money nor subject her outside voluntary support of the family, but one thing is that I am very much disappointed that despite all my efforts in taking care of the family, now that she has money she cannot tell me nor deem it necessary to at least pay for her shop rent.

Please I have called her one on one to talk sense to her after which she will agree to change but am not seeing any change. What else can I be advised on,thanks.