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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls (1954 Views)
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Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Souqwaqif: 5:38pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Good day all, Please I need good advice from married folks. I have been doing my best in providing for my wife and children. Without much input of support from her despite the fact that she runs a little business and works as a teacher. I pay the house rent, children school fees, her shop rent, feeding for the house etc. because she is not usually paid alongside others by her state government. However, from recent findings, I discovered the govt. Has gradually and almost cleared their salary arrears remaining just a few months and yet she does not seem it necessary to at least let me know. Although I won't ask her to give me her money nor subject her outside voluntary support of the family, but one thing is that I am very much disappointed that despite all my efforts in taking care of the family, now that she has money she cannot tell me nor deem it necessary to at least pay for her shop rent. Please I have called her one on one to talk sense to her after which she will agree to change but am not seeing any change. What else can I be advised on,thanks. 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by sylve11: 5:40pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
The tussle for who to head has been there over millions of years; they made man the head and that hasn't gone down well with the women. The separation of feminine and masculine has torn us into pieces. The balance of feminine and masculine will bring us back to peace. 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by goodmorning40: 5:43pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Marriages today = the exploited and the exploiter 3 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by chiemmanuel(m): 5:43pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Get jarumma kayamata,and thank me later. Forget about her finances, do your best for your family, but above all,ensure you have savings for the rainy Day Women see marriage these days as a pedestal to elevate their financial and social status using their husbands as a plug If you find out 1% of secrets women hide from their husbands, you won't advice any Man to get married 8 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by ednut1(m): 5:50pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Marriages today looks more like scams. Before marriage people should discuss finances and not assume. My money is my money, your money is our money crew should be avoided 5 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Bola146(f): 5:57pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Just leave her, continue doing your best to the family. All the blessings will be coming to you only. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by mardis: 6:00pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Since you've sat her down and talked to her and she's still not cooperating, let everybody handle his/her finances. Let her pay her shop rent, buy her clothes and her other needs herself, then you can handle the house rent, school fees, foodstuffs, utility bills. 5 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Righteousness2(m): 6:02pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
The Both you need to be counseled together.. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by madridguy(m): 6:06pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
From your writeup you married a selfish and self centered woman. Continue talking to her and hopefully she will change. 2 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Kondomatic(m): 6:11pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Bola146: 7 Likes
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Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Souqwaqif: 6:17pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Thanks all for your great advises,in a multitude of counseling there is safety according to proverbs. I anticipate more and good advises. As we get into the new year I want to take a stand concerning the entire house and will stand my ground on it. Hence the need for more input. Thanks all. Cc: Seen Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Nobody: 6:44pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Souqwaqif:It's As Simple As Abc. Don't Pay 4 Her Rent Again. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Coloredsg(f): 6:46pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Souqwaqif: Oga, stop putting eyes in your wife's money. Her money is her money. You are the head of the house so take your responsibilities and stop complaining. 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Chiquitq(f): 7:22pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
It is not your business to pay her shop rent. A business is a business and rent is part of the overhead costs. If she is not making enough profit to pay her rent then she should close the business. If you use the money you have been paying for other projects, you would see your investment and use it as you please. A man who provides for a woman totally is not helping her at all and it hardly turns out well. A woman who also expects her husband to provide everything is also not preparing herself for the day the man might leave or lose his job. You can support her rent only if she is supportive and productive and maybe experienced a huge loss that requires a loan to cushion otherwise it is unreasonable to be imposed on you. 11 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Souqwaqif: 7:28pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Chiquitq: Thumbs up 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by NoToPile: 7:34pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Oga I think I have read different threads from this same moniker, it seems theres something that is a fundamental issue in your relationship with wifey, find out what it is solve it and all these issues will be resolved. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by DontBullshitMe: 8:31pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
All these long term money for sex arrangements people call marriages sev. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by candyguyofficia(m): 8:33pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Coloredsg:Are you related to zzor ? Her money is her money and she shouldn't atleast pay her shop rent. Sincerely I don't blame guys that refuse to marry because mosttimes its leeches that are out there. I wonder where this generation got it wrong and sometimes I wonder how the kids of this leeches will act with such parenting. 4 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Dainy1(m): 8:43pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Marriage is s partnaship, but some people will not know |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Uyi168: 8:52pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Bola146:. Blessing kwa.. No wonder most men dont live long.. 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by keepingmum: 8:53pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Souqwaqif: Ur wife should really pay her shop rent from her purse and if she argues the business isnt yielding enough profit to sustain itself, and truly she doesn't support the home then let the rent expire and do not renew it.........atleast not from your purse |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by gfon(m): 11:38pm On Dec 27, 2020 |
Coloredsg:how would a man live long when he marries a lady with such mentality??swearz you the true definition of a parasite 2 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by ibechris(m): 6:22am On Dec 28, 2020 |
I am a married man just like u. I will say this without any iota of lie...any marriage that depends on single income in Nigeria now will not survive it except the man or woman comes from a very rich home. Let me tell u my experience,my wife earns more salary than I do,but I earn big in passive income than my wife that it dwarfs her salary by 10 in some months. I make sure I dont touch her salary even now but I make sure she contributes hers whenever I am running low,which she does without me telling her. In fact,she knows my income and expenses because I have a book I write them down which she can access anytime anyday. Before I married her,I laid down my goal,which she supported and together both of us are contributing towards the goal,so those who usually say that her money is her money should get married first. Then,they shall know that marriage is not for children. Now,the problem is that,u didnt talk about money in ur marriage,because if u did,this wouldn't result to this ignorance from ur wife. I made my wife the controller of our business money,which has nothing to do with her salaries and yet she still contributes hers when it comes to buying of properties such as land and building. Advice: Draw a goal for the family and ask her for her contribution. Explain to her why the goal is practically essential for the family to follow. Tell her that,that is the new year's resolution that u have come up with for the growth of the family. If need be,tell her the area where u want her to contribute her income. After all,an aunty of mine,built a house for the husband and till date,the world has not fallen,isn't that a woman too? Then watch her reaction...if she goes against this,then my brother,u are married to ur enemy. 11 Likes |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by GboyegaD(m): 7:00am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Both of you are responsible for the home and you should have a discussion around the finances since it is not too comfortable for you alone. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by mosdii(m): 7:32am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Girls most especially Nigerian Girls are nitwits...all of them. That greed, insatiable needs will always be there. Later, they will scream gender equality and feminism when 99.9% cannot buy a common slack underwear for themselves without a man contributing. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by area74: 7:37am On Dec 28, 2020 |
chiemmanuel: Where will the savings for the rainy days come from when he is obviously being drained? It is unfortunate that the women of this generation have terrible orientation about marriage. Most marriages these days are more of exploitation and men are usually at the receiving end. What you are facing is peculiar to many homes. You are not alone on this. My sincere advice is that you have to be deliberate in your approach. Even if you are not expecting anything from her, let her pay the rent of her shop from the business. You will be surprised that at the end of the day, this woman will still tell you that you have not done enough for her. The next thing, she will start building her house and hide it from you. Honestly, Nigerian men should see marriage as charity when it comes to financial responsibilities and not to expect much from the wives. While you are providing for the family, make sure that you also prioritize your personal financial security. May we never fall into emergencies. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by frozen70(f): 8:02am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Souqwaqif: I think you need to give her a schedule of financial responsibility at home so that you too can save and plan well for the family Sest her down and tell her to chose between feeding of the family Or paying school fees and rent But I will prefer you give her the family feeding That feeding is the most important of all family responsibilities so that you can do the rest and still save for the future |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by ImaIma1(f): 8:55am On Dec 28, 2020 |
Let her pay her shop rent. What is she using the money she makes and her arrears/salary for? If she is not willing to contribute, my opinion is that you cut back on what you do for her. Focus more on the children and saving. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by chiemmanuel(m): 9:38am On Dec 28, 2020 |
area74:you repeated the advice I gave him He should save because this kind of women when things are difficult will humiliate you |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by Saintmary(f): 2:16pm On Dec 28, 2020 |
Souqwaqif:Oga, you are the same man whose wife took the kids traveling for a burial without telling you first. You need to call a family meeting. Nairaland advice is inadequate for you. These days it seems some women are using juju to control their husbands. I'm still observing. 1 Like |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by cooooooks(m): 3:06pm On Dec 28, 2020 |
These issues must be hashed before saying I do. It is a partnership. |
Re: Uncooperative Wife, Advise Needed Pls by 2special(m): 3:29pm On Dec 28, 2020 |
Bola146:The worst advice and please fear God. |
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