Uyi168:
.
I don't think any sensible woman will reject help or financial support from the father of her child..

Sad thing is, no man wants to be unfortunate!

No one will happily be paying school fees for a child who acts rude to him and will not appreciate his efforts after being brainwashed by his/her embittered mother

Call it "irresponsibility" - but it's a major factor in why a lot of men are "absentee" fathers. When two elephants are at war, the grass suffers.

Patriarchy001:


Good for her ... I hope she's truly at peace with the decision to take the "selfish" route .. even though there is a high probability that the boy will grow up resenting her for choosing a man over raising him..

Better the "selfish route" than sacrificing her life for her son, only for him to grow up and 2. Watching her son give another woman (his wife or girlfriend) everything!
Now this is what pains her the most. Wherever you see wives and mother in laws clashing, in most cases, it is as a result of this - a single mother has invested all her time, love and affection in singlehandedly raising her son, believing that he will value her for the rest of his life but reality is often a far cry!
In my observation, most mother-son relationships are sustained by aggressive and desperate efforts of the mother reaching out to her son. It is seldom the other way round.
The worst part is if she allows jealousy override her sense of rationality and decides to make an enemy of her son's choice of a spouse, she bears the risk of losing him completely because he would most likely choose his woman over his mother who probably raised him to always overvalue the female gender - this is a notion that she didn't realise would backfire on her once her son falls in love.
Right?

It's a tough world indeed. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I just hope her 'new man' is aware she abandoned her son with the grandmother?

He's perfectly aware, and contrary to what nairaland men would love to believe about single mothers, he married her in full. Did all the rites...threw a big party and all!

As for her son growing up resenting her, he'll get over it!
If his father had done the needful, his mother would not have married another man.

Patriarchy001:


Same way CHoccolaTE hates men yet won't stop creating threads about men.

It never ends

Lol, so because of only me and my anti foolish Nigerian men threads thats why nairaland boys have carried women matter on their head

mariahAngel:

Better the "selfish route" than sacrificing her life for her son, only for him to grow up and 2. Watching her son give another woman (his wife or girlfriend) everything!
Now this is what pains her the most. Wherever you see wives and mother in laws clashing, in most cases, it is as a result of this - a single mother has invested all her time, love and affection in singlehandedly raising her son, believing that he will value her for the rest of his life but reality is often a far cry!
In my observation, most mother-son relationships are sustained by aggressive and desperate efforts of the mother reaching out to her son. It is seldom the other way round.
The worst part is if she allows jealousy override her sense of rationality and decides to make an enemy of her son's choice of a spouse, she bears the risk of losing him completely because he would most likely choose his woman over his mother who probably raised him to always overvalue the female gender - this is a notion that she didn't realise would backfire on her once her son falls in love.
Right?








He's perfectly aware, and contrary to what nairaland men would love to believe about single mothers, he married her in full. Did all the rites...threw a big party and all!

As for her son growing up resenting her, he'll get over it!
If his father had done the needful, his mother would not have married another man.

Good for her.. but he sure is a smart man to ensure he isn't fully responsible for another man's seed

CHoccolaTE:


Lol, so because of only me and my anti foolish Nigerian men threads thats why nairaland boys have carried women matter on their head

You've carrying 'nairaland boys' matter on your head for years now and it hasn't broken yet - though it is empty

Let us carry women's matter on our heads in peace bikonu

Patriarchy001:


Good for her.. but he sure is a smart man to ensure he isn't fully responsible for another man's seed

She sure is a smart woman for not letting an irresponsible man's son tie her down.

mariahAngel:


She sure is a smart woman for not letting an irresponsible man's son tie her down.

Yup! because he is solely the son of an "irresponsible man" - he's not her son too..

Nice one!

Patriarchy001:


Yup! because he is solely the son of an "irresponsible man" - he's not her son too..

Nice one!

Yup!
"Na cooperation make rice full pot" as they say

Play your part, I play mine.

mariahAngel:


Yup!
"Na cooperation make rice full pot" as they say

Play your part, I play mine.

Before nko

Patriarchy001:


You've carrying 'nairaland boys' matter on your head for years now and it hasn't broken yet - though it is empty

Let us carry women's matter on our heads in peace bikonu

Ok thank God you admitted you are carrying women matter on your coconut head,
@bold I didn't stop you from doing anything ok, if you like suffer heart attack because of women, it's a free world,
na you mention me first nai make I reply.

CHoccolaTE:


Ok thank God I admitted I am carrying men matter on my coconut head,
@bold I didn't stop you from doing anything ok, if I like let me suffer heart attack because of men, it's a free world,
na you mention me first nai make I reply.

Apt!

mariahAngel:


Just as single mothers have the right and choice to start over and live life to the fullest.

A single mother I know of remarried, leaving her son with her mother( the boy's grandmother). I initially felt she didn't do the right thing, but going by this thread and comments, I think she made the right decision.
Her son might grow up someday, meet some girl and decide that his mother is being too "clingy'
" You cannot ground a flight bird " after all.

The little boy missed his mother so much he became sick within a few days of not seeing or being with his mother. (I hope he's getting used to his new reality....it's a tough world)
Now, imagine her sacrificing her life for her son instead of taking the chance to rebuild her life, then he grows up and decides to be ungrateful...

Nairaland is truly an eye opening platform.

A lot of people had to grow up with their grand parents because of this.
And it's totally okay.

Mama needs to be able to compete in the harsh dating market.

Use vibrator until you marry or make sure home boy double wraps each time.
The potential to create life you are not ready for is not a thing to joke about.

Patriarchy001:


Sad thing is, no man wants to be unfortunate!

No one will happily be paying school fees for a child who acts rude to him and will not appreciate his efforts after being brainwashed by his/her embittered mother

Call it "irresponsibility" - but it's a major factor in why a lot of men are "absentee" fathers. When two elephants are at war, the grass suffers.

Then that is not a man.
As a man, you do not do something to be "liked". You do it because that is what needs to be done.

You keep doing it because at the end of the day, that is your seed.
They may be small now, but Adulthood tends to shatter certain illusions.
That seed will eventually grow up one day and understand what is going on.
Then the manipulative woman will have no more tricks to play.

2buffagain:


Then that is not a man.
As a man, you do not do something to be "liked". You do it because that is what needs to be done.

You keep doing it because at the end of the day, that is your seed.
That seed will eventually grow up one day and understand what is going on.
Then the manipulative woman will have no more tricks to play.

Too bad many men aren't willing to risk it.. The reality still remains that a lot of guys out there stay out of their children's lives because of the broken relationship with their baby mama..
Sad but true nonetheless.

2buffagain:


A lot of people had to grow up with their grand parents because of this.
And it's totally okay.

Mama needs to be able to compete in the harsh dating market.

Use vibrator until you marry or make sure home boy double wraps each time.
The potential to create life you are not ready for is not a thing to joke about.

Errrrrrrmmmmm...Instead of vibrators and "wraps", I think abstinence is the most effective to prevent cases such as these, don't you agree?

Trust me, it makes life much simpler!

mariahAngel:


Errrrrrrmmmmm...Instead of vibrators and "wraps", I think abstinence is the most effective to prevent cases such as these, don't you agree?

Trust me, it makes life much simpler!

That too, but that's too hard for everyone.
First of all, are you female? If you are I will understand

2buffagain:


That too, but that's too hard for everyone.
First of all, are you female? If you are I will understand

In other words, it is mostly men's fault, since they find it hard to abstain from sex to start with? Hmmm

mariahAngel:


Just as single mothers have the right and choice to start over and live life to the fullest.

A single mother I know of remarried, leaving her son with her mother( the boy's grandmother). I initially felt she didn't do the right thing, but going by this thread and comments, I think she made the right decision.
Her son might grow up someday, meet some girl and decide that his mother is being too "clingy'
" You cannot ground a flight bird " after all.

The little boy missed his mother so much he became sick within a few days of not seeing or being with his mother. (I hope he's getting used to his new reality....it's a tough world)
Now, imagine her sacrificing her life for her son instead of taking the chance to rebuild her life, then he grows up and decides to be ungrateful...

Nairaland is truly an eye opening platform.

god bless all the single mums