JovialJune:




It is not an assumed narcissistic behaviour, if Op says they are narcissists, that means they are, if you want examples of narcissistic behaviours, Google can help you, Op said he isn't giving details, if you aren't comfortable with it, you can read without commenting, or ignore the thread.

It shows you are as unwise as the OP. So we should just swallow what he says hook, line and sinker without reasoning objectively? I'm speaking from the POV of a person who has a sibling with the same persecution mentality as the OP. Nope, not all of us have herd mentality.

You also don't get to dictate to me what I should do on a public forum, kiddo. You should learn to keep quiet more often and introspect more instead of labelling people's opinions as 'rubbish'.

Octopusssy:

It shows you are as unwise as the OP. So we should just swallow what he says hook, line and sinker without reasoning objectively? I'm speaking from the POV of a person who has a sibling the same persecution mentality as the OP. Nope, not all of us have herd mentality.

You also don't get to dictate to me what I should do on a public forum, kiddo. You should learn to keep quiet more often and introspect more instead of labelling people's opinions as 'rubbish'.

You are as unwise as the word itself,

The fact that you're speaking from a personal experience doesnt mean Op has same persecution mentality of your sibling, if you think family members can't gang up against one member because they can or have ulterior motive in the long run, means you have limited knowledge of how the world works and humans behave, broaden your mind and be enlightened, it will help you,

Lol you don't have herd mentality but you want others to follow your own herd mentality of Op being the one at fault because some of you said so? Nl and funny characters sha....


Lady "Octopussy", I didn't even quote you at first, heck you are inconsequential cos you're just a mere moniker, so how odd it is that out of all others that commented, you took it upon yourself to bleat about what I typed, seems your comment is truly rubbish for you to be immensely pressed,

All I can say is, in the long run, you will take your L, like others, and move the fvck on.

JovialJune:



You are as unwise as the word itself,

The fact that you're speaking from a personal experience doesnt mean Op has same persecution mentality of your sibling, if you think family members can't gang up against one member because they can or have ulterior motive in the long run, means you have limited knowledge of how the world works and humans behave, broaden your mind and be enlightened, it will help you,

Lol you don't have herd mentality but you want others to follow your own herd mentality of Op being the one at fault because some of you said so? Nl and funny characters sha....


Lady "Octopussy", I didn't even quote you at first, heck you are inconsequential cos you're just a mere moniker, so how odd it is that out of all others that commented, you took it upon yourself to bleat about what I typed, seems your comment is truly rubbish for you to be immensely pressed,

All I can say is, in the long run, you will take your L, like others, and move the fvck on.

I see that you're the same as the OP. An entire family can gang up against one person, right? I see. As someone said here, a mad man thinks the whole world is mad. You're huffing and puffing and drinking Panadol on top of someone else's headache. It seems your family is dysfunctional and you are the black sheep of yours. Misery loves company.

I prefer 'bleating' to 'barking rabidly' as you have been doing from the outset. Everyone came and dropped their opinions, but you came and insulted all those who have the presence of mind not to join in the Op's campaign of calumny. Indeed, you really are projecting your own personal hurts and failures.

I hope you find peace in your troubled life. These are my last words to you.

Octopusssy:

I see that you're the same as the OP. An entire family can gang up against one person, right? I see. As someone said here, a mad man thinks the whole world is mad. You're huffing and puffing and drinking Panadol on top of someone else's headache. It seems your family is dysfunctional and you are the black sheep of yours. Misery loves company.

I prefer 'bleating' to 'barking rabidly' as you have been doing from the outset. Everyone came and dropped their opinions, but you came and insulted all those who have the presence of mind not to join in the Op's campaign of calumny. Indeed, you really are projecting your own personal hurts and failures.

I hope you find peace in your troubled life. These are my last words to you.

It never gets old, I just have to be the Op cos I agree with him lol, I am Op yet I'm drinking panadol on his behalf, I don't know how some brain works sha, see assumptions on my family and home because it pains you to your bone Op can equally not be at fault, assumptions on my rather peaceful beautiful healthy family, of which you clearly stated how dysfunctional, personally hurtful, and insane, your family is, do you see how ironically daft you are?

Now I feel sorry for that your sibling, I believe he/she is actually the sane one among all of you, and you being the most evil one causing all manner rift and bad blood, and the rest has to follow suit like blind bats for the kill, funny thing is people like Op and your sibling turns out to be the best and most successful among the rest lol, nature has ways of surprising us, blessings to them though...

Never quote me again, I'd do same whenever I see a moniker that has "pussy" on it.

Lalasticlala come and settle this fight by moving this to FP

Now I see arguments, very funny. Some say I'm a bad person that's why my family neglects me. Let me quickly brief you guys. I'm not a bad person. I don't drink, smoke or chase women neither has anybody complained that I've stolen their money before. I'm an introverted person, I don't fight or raise my voice, very obedient and a devout Christian.

The problem is I'm taken advantage of by my own family because of my calm nature. I say yes to everything request, errand and message. So every damn time, I'm the go to guy and as if I'm even cared about they just want me to oblige to everything they say. I began to notice that I'm being taken as a fool. Imagine as a guy and you have younger ones at home (with like 6 years gap) but you've been taken so much as a fool that they will be sleeping till God knows when and your dad will come and send you on one unnecessary errand. Right now my younger ones are in school and I'm at home pursuing my admission into the university.

Not for one day has any of them asked so what are you up to? What's the situation like. How many of you have fathers like that. All he knows is how to send me on stupid errands. Guess what? It is my uncle that is always calling me every now and then asking me howfar and offering suggestions and also a man that I only met once in my life that stays abroad too calls me from time to time to advice me to never give up on pursuing my education(this one purchased UTME form for me) and the course I want to study. The funny is they don't want to help me and anyone that shows interest in me as a bright lad they start talking bad about the person of how the person is tightfisted and cannot help me as if they themselves can help. Sometimes it's like the man doesn't want me to go to school so that I continue to run errands and cook for him (another story because his wife which is my mum doesn't even cook for him and serve him food). This father I'm talking about has not made any significant sacrifice to see his children go up the ladder in life and his entitlement mentality is topnotch. He feels you serve and do what he says just because he impregnated somebody and bears the title "daddy".

Now my mum. This one is a very bitter soul, I don't know why she is like that, probably because she feels she settled for a low value man. She throws tantrums left, right and centre as if I was there when she was making her choice. She discourages and plays down any good thing I do and highlights any tiny mistake I make. Out of her 3 sons I'm the one she hates because I so much look like her husband. She insults and make me look like a fool before my younger ones and many other atrocities I can't say. She doesn't promote love amongst her children. If she sends me on 100 errands and I do 99 and didn't do one, she calls my elder ones and tell them how bad I am and how I'm never helpful which is not true.

Now my siblings. Very funny I'm not close to any one. My elder brother is well to do but I don't care. He thinks I'm a fool too. for those ones commenting that I have entitlement mentality. I don't ever ask him for money, I have been treated like an idiot in the past when I mistakenly seek for help and since then I vowed never to ask 1 naira from him. Same with my sis. They've all taken advantage of me and now they've left me alone. But I will bounce and bounce to the top by myself and by the grace of God.

Anytime I see my friends talking to their dads and having a meaningful conversation about the future I feel very sad or when they have problems financially or educationally they say "I'll just call my dad and relay my issues to him, he'll help me or advice me".I can't make such calls. I have never had a meaningful conversation with my dad. The only thing that keeps me going and motivated is The Bible, the church and I watch motivational videos on YouTube if not I would have ended myself long time ago.

Anytime I see my friends taking pictures with their younger brother I feel sad too. Because I haves much been disrespected and taken as a fool that the lousy skunk started throwing blows with me.... let me stop here abeg because the more type the more resentment I'm feeling. And to those ones saying I'm the bad thank your God that he didn't fix you in a narcissistic family...Good bye

Tripitaka:


This is one of the things I dislike about NL. Someone asks for advise on how to do something, and you're trying to deter them. You may think you know their story or what's best for them, but trust me, you don't.

It's important too that we ditch that erroneous belief that family is everything or the fallacious concept that blood is thicker than water. First, question you may want to ask is "What makes one family?" Is it just blood?. Is blood relationship enough to qualify one as family? I guess the men who rape their daughters, the women who throw away their newborns, siblings in incestuous relationships all qualify as family. The fact that you share DNA with people doesn't automatically make them an integral part of your life.

OP, to your question. Never normalize bad behavior or narcissistic behaviour. Ensure that you express your displeasure and let people know how their actions affect you (This is hoping you're not the problem, because entitled people can easily feel let down). Seek reconciliation where necessary and in the case of family members, you have to leave numerous doors open for such reconciliation. If nothing changes Afterwards, please get away from them.

Going forward, anyone who shares in my struggle, is genuinely excited for my wins, and wants the best for me is already family.

You attacked a comment and latter said exact opinion you initially opposed, ......."he said he wanted to detach you are telling him reconciliation"

I think you guys are meant to attack even thre no basis for that.

JovialJune:



You are as unwise as the word itself,

The fact that you're speaking from a personal experience doesnt mean Op has same persecution mentality of your sibling, if you think family members can't gang up against one member because they can or have ulterior motive in the long run, means you have limited knowledge of how the world works and humans behave, broaden your mind and be enlightened, it will help you,

Lol you don't have herd mentality but you want others to follow your own herd mentality of Op being the one at fault because some of you said so? Nl and funny characters sha....


Lady "Octopussy", I didn't even quote you at first, heck you are inconsequential cos you're just a mere moniker, so how odd it is that out of all others that commented, you took it upon yourself to bleat about what I typed, seems your comment is truly rubbish for you to be immensely pressed,

All I can say is, in the long run, you will take your L, like others, and move the fvck on.

If everybody in ur family " nuclear & extended' are ganging up against you alone, I will advice you to look inward , you are culprit on the issue.

Nooooooooooooo friend or church members can stand up for you like family members in the time of adversity

Fiscus105:


If everybody in ur family " nuclear & extended' are ganging up against you alone, I will advice you to look inward , you are culprit on the issue.

Nooooooooooooo friend or church members can stand up for you like family members in the time of adversity

Pls shut the fvck up, how the hell will one person be the culprit on any issue and the whole family will be against him/her? Even evil people will always have supporters and those who have their back no matter how evil they are, case in point Hitler, now imagine a whole family against a particular person, can't it be because of envy, jealousy, or just pure disdain and hatred, or sinister motive they have against that person?

And enough with the family being there bla bla bla, it has been proven times without number that total strangers are more likely to help in time of need than family members.

JovialJune:



Pls shut the fvck up, how the hell will one person be the culprit on any issue and the whole family will be against him/her? Even evil people will always have supporters and those who have their back no matter how evil they are, case in point Hitler, now imagine a whole family against a particular person, can't it be because of envy, jealousy, or just pure disdain and hatred, or sinister motive they have against that person?

And enough with the family being there bla bla bla, it has been proven times without number that total strangers are more likely to help in time of need than family members.

Change ur wicked ways, and you will see all family members will not reject you at a go, that stranger you biliv can save you, will be the one to consume you at the end

The wise who said blood is thicker than water know what they are saying but foolish like you will like to challenge the wise.

Fiscus105:



Change ur wicked ways, and you will see all family members will not reject you at a go, that stranger you biliv can save you, will be the one to consume you at the end

The wise who said blood is thicker than water know what they are saying but foolish like you will like to challenge the wise.

Jeez I hate arguing with sinile people, it's exhausting, see the way you had to go personal just to prove a baseless point, am I Op? How old are you gan?

Let me school you for free tonight dude.
The actual saying of that "blood is thicker than water" you dull folks use as a point for family bla bla bla, is; “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. The meaning of this saying is actually the opposite of the way you people use it

The saying actually means that bonds that you've made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb.

Do you understand the bolded? Or you want me to explain it word for word like a toddler in preschool?

Move away from home. You are an adult now so go out there and start life.

Make sure to get a place of your own, a small job and get an education or training.

You can't continue staying under your parents roof and continue critiquing them for one thing or the other.

They don't or didn't ask you maybe cuz they they don't have money for whatever is it you want to do next in life.

So move, go in search of life and keep in touch as your hearts lead you.

Draslo:
You obviously haven't experienced life to the point where you discover that there's none like family. Family will always be there for you when others fail, trust me.

His life history is different from yours.

Tripitaka:


This is one of the things I dislike about NL. Someone asks for advise on how to do something, and you're trying to deter them. You may think you know their story or what's best for them, but trust me, you don't.

It's important too that we ditch that erroneous belief that family is everything or the fallacious concept that blood is thicker than water. First, question you may want to ask is "What makes one family?" Is it just blood?. Is blood relationship enough to qualify one as family? I guess the men who rape their daughters, the women who throw away their newborns, siblings in incestuous relationships all qualify as family. The fact that you share DNA with people doesn't automatically make them an integral part of your life.

OP, to your question. Never normalize bad behavior or narcissistic behaviour. Ensure that you express your displeasure and let people know how their actions affect you (This is hoping you're not the problem, because entitled people can easily feel let down). Seek reconciliation where necessary and in the case of family members, you have to leave numerous doors open for such reconciliation. If nothing changes Afterwards, please get away from them.

Going forward, anyone who shares in my struggle, is genuinely excited for my wins, and wants the best for me is already family.

Thank You!

1. Move several states away, or to another country. Don't tell anyone. Do not provide contact information to anyone you cannot trust to keep the information from your family.

2. Get a new family. Marry a good partner and allow their family to be yours. Have a bunch of kids. Be a mentor to many children and junior colleagues. Be active in the community and get new hobbies where you get the opportunity to meet like-minded individuals.

3. Make a lot of money, and network a lot. But especially, make a ton of money. If you have to work 3 jobs for the rest of your life, do it. Always be on the lookout for another (legal) hustle or business. But don't work so hard that your body can't manage.

4. Do your best to never be like your family. Raise your children with love, and study your role as a parent, partner, and more. Make the extra effort to never repeat anyone's mistake. And try to make those closest to you feel incredibly loved by you.

5. Send them money, so they don't bother you or come looking.

6. It's going to be tough to explain the situation to your partner and children, but don't trash your family. And don't try to make your kids fear or dislike them. Just explain with love that your family is not the greatest, and you've made a necessary decision.

Also, it's important to understand the behavior, recognize it, and forgive it. Forgiving doesn't mean accepting.

Basically, it's perfectly fine to feel angry and to want to respond a certain way. But don't allow that anger to consume you or make you hold hate in your heart. Just recognize what's happening, and move on.

You also have to go through a healing process. If you don't, you may become one of them, and the cycle of abuse will continue. Ask yourself if you want that for your children. Ask yourself if you want to continue feeling the way you do now. There's a better life waiting for you. You just need to take action to reach it.