How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? - Family - Nairaland
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| How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 10:29am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Please tell me, I'm fed up. I don't like any of them from my dad to my mum and brothers and sisters. I don't just want to have anything to do with them forever. I have been played a fool for long. Enough!!! Anyone who has ghosted his family. How was the process? changing numbers, social media blocking, leaving the house. I just need a guide. Any moment with them is depressing!! They feel my destiny is tied to their hands, I don't want their help nomore! I want liberation 4 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Draslo(m): 10:33am On Jan 27, 2021 |
You obviously haven't experienced life to the point where you discover that there's none like family. Family will always be there for you when others fail, trust me. 28 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by madridguy(m): 10:33am On Jan 27, 2021 |
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| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 11:06am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Draslo:They've never been there. They are all narcissistic and manipulative. 10 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by addexx: 11:10am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Draslo: You may be correct in a normal setting but you obviously are very ignorant of how a dysfunctional family can wreck a person's life. 35 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 11:13am On Jan 27, 2021 |
addexx:God bless you for knowing what I'm talking about.... 6 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Tripitaka: 11:19am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Draslo: This is one of the things I dislike about NL. Someone asks for advise on how to do something, and you're trying to deter them. You may think you know their story or what's best for them, but trust me, you don't. It's important too that we ditch that erroneous belief that family is everything or the fallacious concept that blood is thicker than water. First, question you may want to ask is "What makes one family?" Is it just blood?. Is blood relationship enough to qualify one as family? I guess the men who rape their daughters, the women who throw away their newborns, siblings in incestuous relationships all qualify as family. The fact that you share DNA with people doesn't automatically make them an integral part of your life. OP, to your question. Never normalize bad behavior or narcissistic behaviour. Ensure that you express your displeasure and let people know how their actions affect you (This is hoping you're not the problem, because entitled people can easily feel let down). Seek reconciliation where necessary and in the case of family members, you have to leave numerous doors open for such reconciliation. If nothing changes Afterwards, please get away from them. Going forward, anyone who shares in my struggle, is genuinely excited for my wins, and wants the best for me is already family. 22 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Mindlog: 11:22am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Draslo: Not everyone comes from a family that nurtures them to thrive. Sometimes, family can be the source of the toxins that is causing breathing difficulty.. I have learnt that blood is not thicker than water but a good heart is. 18 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by addexx: 11:25am On Jan 27, 2021 |
NewSoul: I may not fully understand what you are going through ( pls elaborate), but I can relate. Do you work and have your own apartment. ? That's the first step. Can you confidently stand on your own.? Do you have good friends or belong to a positive association like cooperatives,a church fellowship, mosque etc you need good people around you. If you do then I suggest you move out totally discreetly. Let them know you will only pick their calls if extremely necessary. Till then, no contacts with them in order to give yourself time to heal. Pray God heals your heart and help you forgive them in the long run.( Doesn't mean you will give yourself to them again) Stick with the plan. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by addexx: 11:52am On Jan 27, 2021 |
Again I must add, you are not alone in this. There are thousands who have gone or are going through this. So do not fret when you want to make a major decision as this. It's your life so you must prevent toxicity and anything that may disturb your sanity and progress. I met someone here in Lag who ghosted his family in the far Western region cos of their fetishness and manipulation. Started afresh here, got a job and got married in court later. A young guy probably late twenties. You would not believe he's already married. You just need the balls bro. 11 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by LordKO(m): 12:34pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
NewSoul: Citing your statement above, examine yourself first and make sure that you aren't the problem. May a time, when some people are resisted from meting out their nefarious acts against others, they become vile and hypocritically sententious - greedy and conceited people and people with any form of personality disorder are good at this. Assuming that you've posted this from the position of a family breadwinner, it'd make a different sense to me. |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 12:36pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
Op, when I saw the heading I thought it was about your steps and father's wife's, because they can be deadly when they don't like you, But as I read through I realised that you are about making a huge mistake. First of all, tell us why you hate them so much that you are considering leaving them completely? Then we can tell you why family is everything a person needs in this world.. |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by adekemi45600: 1:04pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
You obviously haven't experienced life to the point where you discover that there's none like family. Family will always be there for you when others fail, trust me. |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Mindlog: 1:25pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
adekemi45600: Does your body release dopamine, whenever you copy and paste someone else's comment on the same thread? A pattern consistent with you.....something is definitely off! 1 Like |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by MickzyDonald: 2:08pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
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| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by chrisj2(m): 2:10pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
Tripitaka: I had to quote all of this response. Kudos, I duff my wintery hat to you. I also like the part where you mentioned that the OP might even be the problem with entitled and uncooperative attitudes. No more to say really. People ditch their horrible family all the time and some people meet their ultimate demise at the hands of their family. It is easier to be destroyed from within. Go for it! But leave a small window open in case they repent 10 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by iamL(f): 3:34pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
Draslo: Abeg not all time. Some family can be worst than enemies It seen it severally. 12 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by mariahAngel(f): 6:26pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
NewSoul: What if they're not the problem? What if you are the problem? Is it possible that all but one member of a family be bad? What if you're the black sheep of the family? The difficult one giving the family a bad name... You keep lamenting about leaving your "no good your family", yet you still haven't left. What's keeping you? Just up and leave already! You won't die! What did they even do to you? Start from there at least, if you want to be sincere... |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 7:38pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
mariahAngel:Lol I know you'd come and talk. I'm suspecting you. I hope you are not one of my siblings because you are beginning to sound like them.. 6 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by xavuv: 8:07pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
adekemi45600:adekemi!! |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by mariahAngel(f): 8:12pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
NewSoul:It's good that you know. I'll tell you what nobody will tell you, and what you don't want to but need to know. You think bringing your family issues online make you the innocent one? I'm suspecting you. Paranoia. We're getting somewhere... I hope you are not one of my siblings because you are beginning to sound like them.. Mmhmm! Anyone who doesn't support you or take your side hates and is out to hurt you. Have you asked yourself "what if I'm the problem?" 2 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 8:31pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
You need them. Try and learn how to tolerate them |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 9:28pm On Jan 27, 2021 |
mariahAngel: |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Bola146(f): 1:46am On Jan 28, 2021 |
My family are just the best  I'll never cut them away lailai !!!! They stood by me when I was hopeless! I still dey borrow from my junior brothers ( I'm not ashamed of that  because friends will mock you but my siblings will never  ) I know that I'll surely reward them when I'm financially okay too They are my world! I pray that my parents should witness my wedding and also see their grand children in Jesus Christ name, Amen! Op, please always pray for your family. Outsiders will mock you too, it's a matter of time. Don't be a strong head when you are broke 2 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by sherylbaky(f): 1:06pm On Jan 28, 2021 |
NewSoul:hmm, if u are very sure about this, well... there's no way u can cut family off. U can only set boundaries, just set appropriate boundaries. |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Ishilove: 2:57am On Jan 31, 2021 |
mariahAngel:I have a friend experiencing this exact same thing. He has a brother who is the black sheep of the family. No one in the family talks to this black sheep anymore because he is a terrible human being. Now imagine the black sheep creating a thread to complain about his family, meanwhile those he is complaing to have no idea he is the problem, not the family in their entirety. This OP should check himself properly as well because he just may be the problem. He can only be given proper counsel if he opens up about their perceived 'crimes' 2 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Nobody: 4:18am On Jan 31, 2021 |
It's okay if you feel you need to do this for your wellbeing. Live your life and do what makes you happy. 1 Like |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by mariahAngel(f): 2:37pm On Jan 31, 2021 |
Ishilove: I perceive he (op) seeks condemnation for his family and validation for himself....and without stating what they did to him? Is that even fair? |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by descarado: 3:54pm On Jan 31, 2021 |
If you feel choked, it's wise to cut off and stay clear until you get your inner being in control again. Don't let anybody guilt trip you. Some family members are toxins and unless you remove such from your system, it's gonna end you and life continues for them. Cutting off is time for sober reflection, telling yourself the truth and accepting your shortcomings if there is any. It's also time to analyse and strategize again on the best approach then finally forgiveness. When you are sure u have grown enough, u can approach them again if they don't look for you first. Forgive but stay focused Goodluck. 4 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by JovialJune(f): 4:52pm On Jan 31, 2021 |
descarado: The only balanced advice/comment here, unlike others already judging, dissecting and assuming rubbish, typical of the narcissistic, manipulative, mentally abusive traits of Op's family, I don't know why people can't just simply advice and go away, maybe Op should bring his family here so they'd see how blameless they are, Eishhh..... 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by Octopusssy(f): 5:15pm On Jan 31, 2021 |
JovialJune:We can't give an objective advice when the OP labeled the family members narcissistic without giving further insights on their assumed narcissistic behaviors. I'm too cynical for that crap. If being objective is "assuming rubbish", then it seems you're projecting your own personal hurts. 2 Likes |
| Re: How Did You Cut Your Family Members Off? by JovialJune(f): 5:20pm On Jan 31, 2021 |
Octopusssy: It is not an assumed narcissistic behaviour, if Op says they are narcissists, that means they are, if you want examples of narcissistic behaviours, Google can help you, Op said he isn't giving details so respect his wishes, if you aren't comfortable with it, you can read without commenting, or ignore the thread. N.B I'll ignore your 2nd paragraph. 3 Likes 1 Share |
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