Hmm

Familytalk9909:
I bought a house in one of the priciest neighborhood in Lagos last year, I never knew I could pull this off but I saved every penny with my wife and she kept on encouraging me even when I thought it was near impossible. My mom never knew I was worth that much, I didn't even know I had that much. My wife and sisters are very close and they stay in my house for months with my wife when they come visit sometimes to come help with the kids or they just want to be around me.

Growing up she always complained about my dad not being transparent with her and she would go on and on about how loving husbands are with their wife. Growing up my dad wasn't the example of man I wanted to become and I am proud of the love and success I have at this age.

I don't want to change the formula. I felt sad when she called me and I can't discuss this with anyone so I just want to learn or see If I am being irresponsible as she said. I just need to be looked at from a third party.

I hope this answers your question.

You have someone like this in your life and you want to start changing because of naysayers?

Sometimes people meet their guardian angel in form of wives but they don't know.

Familytalk9909:
I bought a house in one of the priciest neighborhood in Lagos last year, I never knew I could pull this off but I saved every penny with my wife and she kept on encouraging me even when I thought it was near impossible. My mom never knew I was worth that much, I didn't even know I had that much. My wife and sisters are very close and they stay in my house for months with my wife when they come visit sometimes to come help with the kids or they just want to be around me.

Growing up she always complained about my dad not being transparent with her and she would go on and on about how loving husbands are with their wife. Growing up my dad wasn't the example of man I wanted to become and I am proud of the love and success I have at this age.

I don't want to change the formula. I felt sad when she called me and I can't discuss this with anyone so I just want to learn or see If I am being irresponsible as she said. I just need to be looked at from a third party.

I hope this answers your question.

Thanks for your post.

Human beings are naturally selfish and are not objective to see they are selfish.

Most mothers expect from their husbands what they do not want their sons to do for their wives. Most fathers treat their wives they way they would not tolerate anyone to treat their daughters.

That's why a mother would complain her son is treating his wife the way she wanted to be treated by her husband and a father who pummels his wife would warn his son-in-law not to touch his daughter. That's why a father who told his wife to resign because 'she is proud' would train his daughter to Harvard if he can afford it. That's why a woman who was unsupportive to her husband would scream when she thinks her son's wife is not supportive.

That also cascades to sisters-in-laws and brothers-in-law etc. etc.

My point: your mother complains about something you do for/with your wife doesn't mean it is wrong: it may mean they think it is too much (they would gladly accept such treatment).

I would bet your mom would be elated if your sisters' husbands do the same thing you are doing with your wife.

That's why it is NOT healthy to tell everything especially positive/a working formula with spouses to parents (except you learnt it from that parent). It brings about bitterness towards the other party and talk of he/she is 'controlling' my son/daughter.

See the intricate financial details you have exchanged so far with your birth family as the last one. They have no business how you run your finances.

Like I said earlier, don't change the winning formula.

Familytalk9909:
I bought a house in one of the priciest neighborhood in Lagos last year, I never knew I could pull this off but I saved every penny with my wife and she kept on encouraging me even when I thought it was near impossible. My mom never knew I was worth that much, I didn't even know I had that much. My wife and sisters are very close and they stay in my house for months with my wife when they come visit sometimes to come help with the kids or they just want to be around me.

Growing up she always complained about my dad not being transparent with her and she would go on and on about how loving husbands are with their wife. Growing up my dad wasn't the example of man I wanted to become and I am proud of the love and success I have at this age.

I don't want to change the formula. I felt sad when she called me and I can't discuss this with anyone so I just want to learn or see If I am being irresponsible as she said. I just need to be looked at from a third party.

I hope this answers your question.

Dear OP ,you have so much working well and going well , even from hour posts you know you have achieved more with that woman helping you to save,,many men wish for what you have Why do you want to change the winning formula??

Yes you love your mum, but if you have never complained that your wife cheated you why would she give such advice that can trigger chaos, anarchy, mistrust, bitterness and bickering?? That was not so good of her.

Although,like someone said, when our siblings or parents see us enjoy with our partner the way they did not experience in their time, there is a bit of envy. So pls learn to keep some home secrets at home too,, it is not because you mok and wife are wicked but they are humans....

If you ask me, your home is built on trust which you and your wife have worked hard to put together and it is still working,, please dont destroy it, you may never ever get a second chance to rebuild

You really have what many people desire!!! Ndi igbo si "jisieya ike"

Familytalk9909:
Hi Nairalanders,

I had to create this account just so I can get the opinion of men and women and not just the married people on here if I can learn a thing or two from you all.

I am a young guy who has been married for over 6 years with 4 beautiful kids. I tend to leave my financial aspect with my wife(meaning I save most of my money with her till I need it for business or acquiring properties) because when we were dating she was more responsible financially than I am and she knows exactly how much I am worth and I still do that till today. I keep investment funds and savings that run up to millions in her account while I keep the fraction which is needed for our family day to day and shopping expenses.

While I think its not irresponsible of me because I trust my wife and she knowing how much I am worth, when I am rich and when I am broke, I am transparent with her and it saves me the trouble of requesting for things when she knows I can't afford them and she looks out for the best interest of the family.

My mother knows about this and my siblings and they have been complaining for years, saying this is wrong. My mom says it is irresponsible and its never safe to be too transparent with your spouse. I don't plan on changing how I run my family.

Over to you nairalanders, do you think this is right or or wrong and please give reasons.

It's ur money, she's ur wife, ur method has been working for u both and have been living happily there after ...... Mr. Oga if i were u i will continue in what is working for my family.