"Before we will start this journey, you must promise me that you will be with me to the end" That was what I, usoroh, told her was my condition. She, a her, a sweet and a lovely but a curvy lady that will soon become a woman. She was the woman that brought out the best in me and as well as the angel in me. Her name was my trigger. She is called Jessica.

It was on a warm, cool Sunday. I was trying to get back from my early morning exercise when I saw how hardworking she was. She was into the morning walk like her life depended on it with breasts dangling from one side to another and front and back. (Oh, what a nostalgic feeling I just had trying to remember that scene). Due to how serious she was, she didn't notice me ogling at her boldly like she was that day's bread. I was practically salivating like a dog.

Let me tell you people that will read this about me. I'm cool, I like to mind my business. Infact, I would consider myself a virgin because I have never fancied a girl for a very long time now. I don't want trouble, so I'm always on my own. Now, back to the story, that day, I totally lost it. I felt bad because she did not respond to my greetings and I knew she was one of those girls that will not waste a minute to return a hi to a fresh guy.

When I got to the house, I started thinking, that "why would such a damsel like her be so busy to ignore the greetings of a cool guy like me? I kept on pondering about it until my neighbor knocked on my door, that was when I realized that maybe I have hypnotized and mersmerised by her manipulation. Her manipulation was in the snub.....To be continued.

or maybe she was actually very serious with her morning workout and did not do that on purpose. Well, thanks to my neighbor's knock for giving me that inspiration.

"Oboy you no go, go church?" my neighbor Emeka asked me.

"Bro, the thing wey I dey think about pass this church you dey talk about. See life no easy, but no be when person don see who to marry or who dey blow him mind." I retorted.

"Usoroh my guy, why you dey talk like that? wetin happen? See my guy, no be this church time you go dey talk about life. This last time, I see life, he say, he don tire self. No worry, when I come back, we go talk better"

"okay bro, but I dey your back like this, nothing can stop me from praising God today not even a she".

And with that in mind, I went to church hoping that my prayers would be answered as I praise God. you know, God needs praises. I stood up from the bed I was slumbering upon and went to take my bath. Carefully, taking care of my soft skin as it is my pride. While in the bathroom, my phone rang. I disliked the idea of taking my phone to the bathroom because it is not ethical. So, I was silently praying for who it was to not call again and maybe call later. However, the call persisted. Well, I had to rush over to pick the call because I was expecting something from my bank. You know na.

Only for me to go and see a strange number calling me. I thought to myself maybe it was one of these Airtel numbers that likes to call me to remind me about recharging my line. Anyways, as I was swearing in my mind, I decided to pick the call. My conversation with the caller went like this.

Caller: Hello dear

Me: how far na

Caller: you don forget me oh. Usoroh.

Me: What do you mean by that? And please, who am I unto?

Caller: Ohhh, na me be that girl wey you preach to, the other day, say make I give my life to Christ and now, I don decide say I go give am.

Me: Oh that's good oooo. But you go need to go any Bible believing church around you, talk to the pastor there, he will direct you on what to do.

Caller: Anyways, my name is Cynthia. I hope you remember me now. Ever since you talked to us about giving our life to Christ, I have been thinking about it and how to go about it. So, I decided to ask you. Remember you gave us your number. You told us that if we give our lives to Christ, that you will be our friends.

Me: Please, I'm sorry. I don't have time for friends now. Give your life to Christ not because you want me to be your friend rather it should be because you want to lead a different life that the society sees as meaningful. Maybe, we will talk later, for now, I am getting ready to church. Okay take care (and I dropped the call, thinking, I did not talk to her well). I returned back to the bathroom, let me remind you, I live in a one bedroom flat apartment.


I took my bath quickly, toweled my body and dressed smartly. I got ready to go to church. I had not stepped out of the house for more than twenty seconds when I noticed that my landlord's daughter coming in front of me. "You are looking sweet as usual, Usoroh. I was about coming over to call you" She told me.
"Really, thanks for the mention. I'm delighted. I am good to go and I can see that you are already ready, tochi." I smiled sheepishly. We walked slowly to the church. She carried her big Bible like a Samsung iPad and I carried mine like a flat screen TV. In our hearts, I think we both know what we wanted from each other.

Now, this Tochi is sweet and elegant. She has nose like an Indian woman that has seen a groom that she wants to get married to. Her smiles are warming and filled with a mixture of sorrows and joy. Her backside can make the world stand at a standstill like an erection. I don't know if she is aware but she has breasts that could make a man to always to wish to remain her baby. That is the few things I could say about her.

When we got to the church, I left her to go and look for my salvation because the Bible said that we should seek out our own salvation individually. As I was leaving her to go and sit at a chair that looks as if it has percieved so many farts from people and has decided to make itself useless so that nobody can sit comfortably on it again, I noticed her dad looking at me like he drank locozade. I did not pay attention to it because he was my landlord and I have been owning for two months now. So, maybe he thinks, he owes me..... To be continued

So actually, the usher has been very kind to me today because he gave me a better seat to sit. And that was the seat close to a socket. I sat down comfortably in my apparel that looks like I might be the next president of America, that is if I'm not. I was putting on a cloth that has seen hell on a earth. Anyways, that's by the way.

The choir were about mounting the podium when I sat down, so by now I was in heaven receiving heavenly breeze. For the past 30 minutes that me and you are together here, I have been crying. Why? I was in the spirit.


hmmmm mmmaaa meeee fffah. I was humming along side with the choir and so I went on till I started singing^^^^^^Jesus must be honoured, honoured, honoured(2x)*** everyday in my life...I continued singing till I was touched by an usher. I turned to look at him and he said that the pastor was angry. The pastor now said all of you in this church that knows that they will not be dropping their juju in their houses before coming here, will die by fire. Immediately, nobody told me that I no try. I told myself.


Let me tell you a little about the choir. They are anything more than extraordinary. The church got it's name from the choir. The name of the choir was Praise my Soul Choir. So the Church I was going to was Praise the Lord Church of God.

I wanted to cry oooo but I told myself that sometimes that pastor used to behave like somebody that smokes something. So, I told God to forgive me and him in my mind.

Have I told you?, I love God so much that I can kill myself for him that is if he tells me himself to do that. But that's a story for another day.