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My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* - Family (16) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by upower123(m): 7:50am On Mar 26
sweetrace:
Op, you are responsible for your family’s upkeep irrespective of your wife’s earnings. She lied to you about her income because you obviously can’t handle it. We have a number of Nigerian men who will do nothing if they know their wives earn a great deal. These days we have men who are gold diggers. I’m not calling you one. I’m telling you why women now hide their earnings. She did not tell you because she wanted to be treated like a woman: loved and pampered by her husband irrespective of his earnings. She lived the lifestyle you could provide and you’re complaining!
just read what you type...na Thier type be this
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by nedzuby: 7:51am On Mar 26
Oluwaricky88:
bro, I am really shocked..
but my little observations are:
1. you are faultless cuz I have a free mind with her..
2. her Dad and elder brother are the main culprits cuz they planned and tricked her into this.. telling her to keep it as a secrets.. and she will be obliged to listen to them..
3. her faults here is lying to you about the salary ( she thought you may be insecure or she was told to concealed it)..
honestly, She goofed a big time but you know to consider your kids future here..
just forgive her and get back in terms with her...

Though your opinion but I totally disagree with you on blaming her father and brother.

In marriage your husband should be your priority especially since the man is a good and considerate person.

The thing about lying is that you need more lies to sustain it. And her lying about her salary gave birth to all other lies (that’s if she is not a habitual liar)
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Tomilola360: 7:53am On Mar 26
I usually don't read or reply epistles like this but this makes sense.

My question for you will be:

While the lies lasted, has she been a good wife? Leave out the money aspect.

If yes, then she deserves a second chance. And I pray God heal your broken heart.

One truth is if you knew all along, and she spends on the family much out of what she earns, she ll start feeling like the alpha and omega of the family which one way or the other would hurt you someday.

Her faults for me will be that she doesn't acquire properties for herself or children only but buys her brother a car. I don't get it. WTF is her lazy brother. Somebody else's husband she is supporting and watching her own husband struggle?

You probably married a good woman from a bad family.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by fx45(m): 7:54am On Mar 26
Jodha:
Yhu have to decide if yhu still want the relationship.... nobody can advise yhu on that.. it's a decision only yhu can make....

Marriage is not a switch yhu can turn on and off..since yhure in...yhure in...
It's difficult but yhu have to try and forgive her.... it'll take time but for the sake of the children...

Do yhu still love her?
I think she has learnt her lesson by now.,...but keep splitting the bills...if she cannot play her role as a support...then yhu shouldn't stress yhurself for her.....

Pray about it... there's nothing God cannot fix... he'll surely heal yhur broken heart...
What the fvck is Yhu, Yhur, Yhure

Are you intentionally dull or what?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by chinoskoook: 7:56am On Mar 26
to me I think she only showed remorse because she was caught, else she would have finished everything without your knowledge. The fact z dat she has a wicked mind towards you for allowing you struggle for all her needs while she does her projects. My advice is you have to decide what you want, if you still love her despite this but you now know what she's capable of, even dragging with you when you found out hmmm. some women sha
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by TrebleChamp(m): 7:57am On Mar 26
izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*
Op copied the story from twitter

1 Like

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Hassanmaye(m): 7:57am On Mar 26
kunle75:


Your case is almost like mine,I learned the hard way 4yrs ago ,after I traveled out of the country, then I show her and the family that am not a fool but a patient dog.

Tell us your experience
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by emperorventure4(m): 7:58am On Mar 26
NEVER GIVE HER A SECOND CHANCE, SHE WILL DO WORSE. JUST LEAVE HER ALONE IN THE MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE WHEN YOUR KIDS ARE GROWN
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Holamic(m): 8:01am On Mar 26
Very emotional.... Fear them from distance
izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by seangy4konji: 8:03am On Mar 26
Shora fun obirin ooo...Olorun awa pelu e.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by temi1290: 8:05am On Mar 26
Op welldone ooo, you copied this from twitter then changed the cedis to naira ba, see your dirty mouth

1 Like

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by deesad2002: 8:07am On Mar 26
Super emotional story. It is like a movie. Best of recent from Nairaland
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by nedzuby: 8:08am On Mar 26
NomzyJust:


Is it your keypad or you don't know how to spell?

� was wondering cos the number of letters to form you or your is the same with yhu and yhur
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Evii: 8:10am On Mar 26
Oga you try well well.
You bought a car with your hard earned money buy with your wife's name. Well done sir.
She'll definitely do more in the future, you should let her go!
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by fergie001: 8:11am On Mar 26
Hassanmaye:

Tell us your experience na let's learn
My bro...another day.

One should just be careful when into r/ships or marriage; if you don't trust her past 90%...Don't get in..... Days have gone when they open their legs and get whatever they want. These days, even when ontop them, remain resolute.

The only thing they answer is MONEY. Marriages have become Charity homes for women.

That's why the babymama thing seems to be getting some traction.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Timijo(m): 8:13am On Mar 26
izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

Dear Izito,

I write to sympathize with you for the pains and emotional breakdown you are going through right now. Without mincing words, it is a grievous pain when you suddenly realise that the person you trust and care for does not have the same mindset as you. But things like this happen because we are humans. To err is human but to forgive is divine. Forgive your wife and relief yourself from every pain.

I am glad that she is remorseful and accepted her lapses. Her family members have also realised their wrong contribution and they had pleaded with you. Please forgive her and accept her reconciliation efforts. Some women out there will not see this offence as evil, they will rather argue to justify their actions and cause more pains and frustration to their victims.

Do not think about divorce or suggest it to your wife. If you divorce her, do you know the character of another woman that you are going to marry? I'm sure you know the adage that says, "The devil you know is better than the one you don't know." So, don't envisage divorce, your wife has realised her mistakes and she is making efforts to restore the trust. Please comply, so that she will not be frustrated and become hardened.

Yours sincerely,

Timijo

1 Like

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by 9jaRealist: 8:13am On Mar 26
izito:
*In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

So you have been living HAPPILY with the same wife and your kids before now?
Then discovered your wife makes more money than you thought, and became unhappy?! SMH

>

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Wisedking: 8:17am On Mar 26
Ha that woman must be the devil's incarnate
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Hassanmaye(m): 8:18am On Mar 26
flokii:
This one is serious o.. married for 6 years and she kept all that from you??

Why do I have this feeling Op should run a DNA test on the kids just to be sure. This kind of woman fit carry another man pikin give hubby and pretend all is well.

This is just wrong whichever way you choose to look at it.
And that is a very easy thing to do by the daughters of Jezebel
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by CHoccolaTE: 8:19am On Mar 26
Raalsalghul:



This is the most sensible thing you've said on Nairaland.
That one was a mistake.
No worry I have returned to man hating mode again.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Hassanmaye(m): 8:19am On Mar 26
Noblewealth:
Truly you are a man, I love the part which you said you aren't gonna leave her but if she want divorce you will surely give her... I share your pain,you have to just forgive her totally for the sake of your children.. if we should start sharing what women has done in the name of greed and the one we've read and heard this space won't be enough to contain it.. I know you are still going through healing process and I pray may God heal you completely...
Thanks to social media alot of things are exposed before people will be suffering and smiling but now no
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Sadiqwest(m): 8:22am On Mar 26
izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*
The two major institutions that
has held civilization for long:
The marriage and Educational
institution. However, as it
seems, either both are dead
or at the precipice, and ready
to get engulfed by the wide
mouth of the ocean.
This is what happens when a
wholly system is pandered to
suit individualism rather than
the collective whole.
Educational curriculum is now
very porous as schools don't
teach what's important to real
life situation, alongside,
useless departments keep
springing up on a daily basis
with degrees of no
importance. Scientists,
Professors, Academia, no
longer carryout research in
search of truthfulness but on
the basis of political peanuts,
favours and positions. They're
now sycophants, they choose
avarice thinking it all ends
there. But no, you can't hide
pollution, when it's time to
spread it does and destroys.
On the other hand, women
were not allowed to graze
many fields in the past, and
we thought the patriarchy was
wicked, uncompassionate,
egoistic, not knowing that they
thoroughly understood female
nature to the brim. Women
were not allowed to graze
these fields because nature
didn't programmed them for
such and culture only allowed
men because men were much
suitable for it. For example,
the corporate world. Also
when both graze same field it
breds contempt, hence, male
and female had their specific
play ground. If that woman in
that story was a housewife, or
her line of business is under
the scrutiny and jurisdiction of
her husband, she wouldn't
have acted in such
unscrupulous manner. As
tough as things was for the
man, he still tried his best in
pushing and leading the family
forward, yet never knew that
a knife of betrayal is about to
pierce his soul, a knife not
from an enemy but an ally: his
lovely precious wife. This's
solipsism at its peak. She
cares only about herself and
has seriously drafted and
aligned various means of
sustenance waiting for the day
her husband will finally slip.
You see, she was very
pragmatic in such a selfish
way. After all, that's what
betrayals do!
As earlier said, the marriage
institution is in a decline
because:
1. Society wants men to take
responsibility over women and
children but without authority.
No, it cannot work. Employees
must be courteous and
obedient towards their bosses.
Ditto for stewards and wives.
2. No incentive for men in
marriage: Men of the
medieval age never bothered
about this, all they wanted
was a submissive woman who
cooks, clean, play her
conjugal duties, and takes
good care of the children.
They were never bothered of
working tenuously because
they know that if they don't
live to reap the benefits of
their labour, their blood line---
children---will. Men wanted
children at all costs because
children is the joy of
fatherhood.
However, the marriage system
has been vitiated by a motley
of pollutants. Since women
are acting full blown on their
solipsistic nature, it is wise
and beneficial for men to
watch over themselves by also
putting themselves first and
foremost.
3. The divorce or family court:
men got no incentives in
marriage and yet idiotic and
unsympathetic judges still
decides to strip men of the
little they've garnered before,
during and after marriage.
You don't expect such a
contract to hold. It's a zero
sum game with blood spillage
everywhere.
4. Aside reproduction and
coitus, men don't need women
for anything. In fact, women
need men a billion times than
men need women. Even the
chores women boast of are
now carried out perfectly by
men in the complete absence
of women e.g cooking,
cleaning, fashion designing
etc. So, the marriage
institution is no longer a
means to these things for
men.
5. Society will rather blame
men for women's trouble
rather than hold both to equal
standard of justice. Women
exploit men in marriage
psychologically, emotionally,
financially, physically and yet
receives pardon when she
misbehaves while her husband
gets punished.
6. Since everyone is now
entitled to their particular
opinion, the gap between
degeneracy and discipline is
becoming oblivious as both is
almost intertwining. Everyone
is free to do whatever he or
she deems fit without
accountability, competency,
discipline, criticism, shaming,
reproofs.
7. The degenerates after
wasting their lives will enter
marriage, which of course will
be a destructive affair.
Marriage cannot hold when
both or one partner is a
degenerate! If any lacks
virtue, knowledge and
discipline, that union will
definitely suffer. Now, men of
today will not marry in order
not to jeopardize their worth
and inner peace through
Marriage.
Marriage of today for the man
is high risk and no benefits!
And totally vice versa for
women.
If marriage will continue to
last, men must be given
complete authority, women
must be held accountable for
every of their foibles, the
family law must be reviewed
to favour both husbands and
wives and men given
incentives. But simps will
never let this happen, they
will rather metamorphose to
feminine demands, thereby
bolstering women's
entitlement mentality, support
their misdemeanors and watch
the decline of civilization as
they wait in hordes for some
p^ssy juice.
Marriage is no small thing for
a man, however, a single man
is greater than a married
man!
Authority: Men must develop
an abundance mindset and put
themselves first. They must be
aware that a woman can flake
at anytime, respond to
emotions and does things
based on sentiments. They
must prepare for the journey
ahead should they choose to
engage with women.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by amstamon: 8:23am On Mar 26
Skyfornia:
This piece is emotional...OP I feel your pain, I'll feel worse if I were in your position. But I have to save my marriage...don't stretch this anymore since your wife has shown remorse. Her actions might be influenced by her family and she thought she was doing right...forgive her and try to forget it

Going forward, sit with her and factorize what each of you should be spending at home. It can be 70-30 ratio or 60-40 ratio, with you taking care of the lion share...you are the man of the house and It is your duty as a man to protect your family from any force..even if the force is coming from your wife. Don't allow it tear your family.

I wish you luck!
Did I hear u say 60-40 or 70-30 lion share ?did u even know how much the guy is earning? And what if the wife as it is now earns more than this guy? So the guy should still maintain the lion share...
Awon motivational adviser with assumptions.

1 Like

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Hassanmaye(m): 8:25am On Mar 26
Ibime:
I never understand how married couples will not have joint savings, know each other's income etc. One piece of advice my father gave me is that money ruins relationships and to avoid this, both man and wife should have joint custody over money.

Once my salary comes in every month, I transfer a fixed amount to my wife to put in savings and she updates me every month on our balance. If I want to invest some of our savings, I ask for an amount and also keep her updated on how the investments are going. Everything is in our joint name. Because I no plan to divorce, and even if the unthinkable happens, na my kids go still benefit from whatever she lays her hands on.

Even promotions at work etc, we discuss salary targets and how to negotiate them so nothing is hidden financially.

Know this and know peace.
Hmmm man you are lucky alot of men are suffering in marriage and smiling
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by BigMamaNaija: 8:27am On Mar 26
Being straightforward is easier than being crooked and lying. No lie lives forever but the truth will stand the test of time.
My children, live a straightforward life and know peace.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Isinkwocha: 8:30am On Mar 26
potent5:
grin grin grin

The kind of things women do behind their husbands' backs will shock the world if revealed.
Some men are slaves, some are being poisoned to die slowly, so many are mocked behind their backs, others are given other men's children to raise thinking the kids are theirs,.
e.

You have decided to bring curse upon yourself by using the image of a priest and prophet of God. Go ask for forgiveness. Or see the repercussions in no later time.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Isinkwocha: 8:32am On Mar 26
potent5:
grin grin grin

The kind of things women do behind their husbands' backs will shock the world if revealed.
Some men are slaves, some are being poisoned to die slowly, so many are mocked behind their backs, others are given other men's children to raise thinking the kids are theirs,.
e.

You’re already cursed by that image and all who you have used that image to deceive .
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by harjay1986: 8:34am On Mar 26
izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

OPS your story is emotional, but here is my penny advice, dont snitch on her, continue doing your part as the husband of the house, dont allow crack in your family .... you have learn your lesson and trust has been broken dont let it wear you down..... I would advice dont sell the CAR please if she raise the remaining money for you dont collect it please... dont sell your joint land properry also

dont make decision while angry, just try to assume nothing happen and move on
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Flyingngel(m): 8:35am On Mar 26
izito post:



In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?



You don go do copy and paste for Twitter, and no references.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by drnoel: 8:35am On Mar 26
Bornsinner7:
Funny.. I was having a chat yesterday with my brother and he was telling me about this same (exact) story he stumbled on somewhere on the social media..

I don't know what marriages are based on.. I always thought it was love and trust..

The woman doesn't love nor trust the man and she only sees him as a tool to be used to fulfill her plans on whatever she's planning..

That man should just separate himself from her because no matter the amendments she try to make he won't be the same anymore.. that's an everlasting scar in his memory.. What's the point being with a cheat and betrayal??

Move on.. sell all the properties you have in both names.. she doesn't deserve a life with the good man..

I mean her dad who is supposed to correct her when she's looking wrong is the one making sure everything is going on secretly.. man! you're caught in a family of doom.. it's a trap!!! the husband should get himself out before it's too late.. they may be apologizing but in their hearts they are not happy he found out

It's a hard lesson for anyone to learn and an even harder lesson to give especially when U consider the marriage is 6 years and they have children.
But how long can a man be angry esp with a wife he married? Ofcos Oga is justified to be pissed off, I would be livid with anger but I would handle it elaborately. He is not talking to her, telling her nothing by his actions, hanging her on. This is not his girlfriend but his wife, mother tongue children. Regardless of her mistake, she deserves a little lifeline.
He should have been clear in his actions but also show he has a forgiving heart. Then ofcos not make her privy to any of his hard decisions anymore.
Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Heathrow44: 8:37am On Mar 26
michlins:
I read everything and as a single guy, marriage is getting scarier daily. Six years and this is the situation.


The sad thing is that if this marriage ends in divorce, the woman will tell the world and children that the father abandoned them at a very young age and that she struggled to raise them singlehandedly



If op isn't shock yet, wait till when he files for a divorce, and see the real person he's calling a wife in action, there's no allegation she won't use against op whether true or false, women av always been selfish and self centered from day one, marriage is like opening a shop for women now, this op's wife I swear is wicked, I'm sure if op didn't find out on time she wouldn't be remorseful, she's only remorseful cos she was caught, for me If op leaves this woman and he gets another one, it would still be the same thing, women in Nigeria are all the same thing, my money is my money and ur money is our money is what they all uphold!

1 Like

Re: My Wife’s Salary Was A Mystery Until I Discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth* by Flyingngel(m): 8:39am On Mar 26
Skyfornia post:




This piece is emotional...OP I feel your pain, I'll feel worse if I were in your position. But I have to save my marriage...don't stretch this anymore since your wife has shown remorse. Her actions might be influenced by her family and she thought she was doing right...forgive her and try to forget it

Going forward, sit with her and factorize what each of you should be spending at home. It can be 70-30 ratio or 60-40 ratio, with you taking care of the lion share...you are the man of the house and It is your duty as a man to protect your family from any force..even if the force is coming from your wife. Don't allow it tear your family.

I wish you luck!





This story was from a Ghanaian man, don't mind the Ops. He can't acknowledge where he copied it from. He changed Cedis to Naira.

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