Hassanmaye:

Your last statement will make you stay in peace with daughters of Jezebel then, once they perceive you are a good man you are dead

Lolssssss, I'm fucking hard/harsh on both daughters of eve and jezebeel bcs I don't gv a damn about them

I stand with op, that's selfishness at the highest order.

Skyfornia:
This piece is emotional...OP I feel your pain, I'll feel worse if I were in your position. But I have to save my marriage...don't stretch this anymore since your wife has shown remorse. Her actions might be influenced by her family and she thought she was doing right...forgive her and try to forget it

Going forward, sit with her and factorize what each of you should be spending at home. It can be 70-30 ratio or 60-40 ratio, with you taking care of the lion share...you are the man of the house and It is your duty as a man to protect your family from any force..even if the force is coming from your wife. Don't allow it tear your family.

I wish you luck!

More wisdom to ur heàrt.

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

I feel your pain even though I’ve gone through similar experience with my wife too. As a man either married or in a relationship.

Love is not what it is to be!

Always put yourself first .

Telling your wife everything or trusting her 100% is a weakness to you .

Women don’t like or appreciate good men . Rather they manipulate you, see you as a weak man and use you to there own gains .

All these happens for real and they call is marriage

Shame to nigerian women

@womenareapes1

Come and see this

sweetrace:
Op, you are responsible for your family’s upkeep irrespective of your wife’s earnings. She lied to you about her income because you obviously can’t handle it. We have a number of Nigerian men who will do nothing if they know their wives earn a great deal. These days we have men who are gold diggers. I’m not calling you one. I’m telling you why women now hide their earnings. She did not tell you because she wanted to be treated like a woman: loved and pampered by her husband irrespective of his earnings. She lived the lifestyle you could provide and you’re complaining!

Oni ku re

it's because she never trusted you. Women like that always prepare themselves financially, so when the man starts having side attractions, she would have something to fall back on.
Make up your mind on the way forward, or else, you guys will drift apart so much that, there won't be any room for reconciliation.

Bro this is a copied story now

Skyfornia:
This piece is emotional...OP I feel your pain, I'll feel worse if I were in your position. But I have to save my marriage...don't stretch this anymore since your wife has shown remorse. Her actions might be influenced by her family and she thought she was doing right...forgive her and try to forget it

Going forward, sit with her and factorize what each of you should be spending at home. It can be 70-30 ratio or 60-40 ratio, with you taking care of the lion share...you are the man of the house and It is your duty as a man to protect your family from any force..even if the force is coming from your wife. Don't allow it tear your family.

I wish you luck!

OP please take this.

In addition, pray to God to give you a forgiving heart for if you do not forgive her genuinely there is no way love, trust and peace will return to your home. Only genuine forgiveness can heal this wound in your heart.
To not give the Devil a chance, always pray for/together with your wife/family.
Do this to save your marriage and family.

You're doing the right thing... What was her plan after finishing those projects.

Realestbae:

I don't understand why is everybody sounding like is a big deal, maybe because a man is the victim here. Somebody like me that my husband refused to tell his monthly earnings, he does thing for his family without my knowledge, this is a man that refused to give me 300k for business but sent his mother 200k to fix her car, pay part of her house rent even when she is richer than my husband and clearly can afford her needs, a man that doesn't care about our fertility state though through my mom's help am seeking medical attention, a man that I don't know anything about his finance and expenditure. I thank God that am not doing anything for now cause it enabled me to know the kind of man he is.By the time I start earning he will know that karma is a bitch as in I will show him pepper

Post your story here and everyone will dissect it and blame everyone that needs to be blamed,stop playing this women are victim trash you are playing,mtweeeeew

sweetrace:
Op, you are responsible for your family’s upkeep irrespective of your wife’s earnings. She lied to you about her income because you obviously can’t handle it. We have a number of Nigerian men who will do nothing if they know their wives earn a great deal. These days we have men who are gold diggers. I’m not calling you one. I’m telling you why women now hide their earnings. She did not tell you because she wanted to be treated like a woman: loved and pampered by her husband irrespective of his earnings. She lived the lifestyle you could provide and you’re complaining!

Speechless

Klass99:


God bless you! I don't know what they gain by pretending like it is their story and changing the details to give Nigerian women a bad name.

Are Naija women not paying bills in their homes and still hiding the fact that they do so, to avoid bruising oga's ego and avoid being called proud, boss lady, disrespectful and all sorts? I am so upset at the OP's misleading narrative

so you are saying naija women are saints and have better characters compared to women from other countries right??...lies from the pit of hell.
Na una worse pass
I prefer to marry the extreme western feminist female ( atleast they actually split the bills) than have a relationship with an average Nigerian women.
Majority have nothing to offer other than sex.

tufiakwa

Bornsinner7:
Funny.. I was having a chat yesterday with my brother and he was telling me about this same (exact) story he stumbled on somewhere on the social media..

I don't know what marriages are based on.. I always thought it was love and trust..

The woman doesn't love nor trust the man and she only sees him as a tool to be used to fulfill her plans on whatever she's planning..

That man should just separate himself from her because no matter the amendments she try to make he won't be the same anymore.. that's an everlasting scar in his memory.. What's the point being with a cheat and betrayal??

Move on.. sell all the properties you have in both names.. she doesn't deserve a life with the good man..

I mean her dad who is supposed to correct her when she's looking wrong is the one making sure everything is going on secretly.. man! you're caught in a family of doom.. it's a trap!!! the husband should get himself out before it's too late.. they may be apologizing but in their hearts they are not happy he found out

my father use to tell me that wise people are few in this world. now I believe him. you are one of the few wise ones bro and your advice is great to him

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

I understand your pain. I don't know your faith, but pls forgive her. Your wife is only being a good child to her parents. My take is that ,the parents took advantage of her love for them ,and misdirected her. Pls don't leave her.

It is well.

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potent5:


Your money is our money, my money is my money.

The kind of things women do behind their husbands' backs will shock the world if revealed.
Some men are slaves, some are being poisoned to die slowly, so many are mocked behind their backs, others are given other men's children to raise thinking the kids are theirs,.

The list of atrocities committed by women against men is so long.

Yet, the greatest fraud of them all is that a man must stick to one wife in the name of English marriage.

potent 5 u mean say na the rev get that pikin? lolxxxxx hahahaha this is a hate speech oooo and lie Mohamed must hear this walahi

Jodha:
Yhu have to decide if yhu still want the relationship.... nobody can advise yhu on that.. it's a decision only yhu can make....

Marriage is not a switch yhu can turn on and off..since yhure in...yhure in...
It's difficult but yhu have to try and forgive her.... it'll take time but for the sake of the children...

Do yhu still love her?
I think she has learnt her lesson by now.,...but keep splitting the bills...if she cannot play her role as a support...then yhu shouldn't stress yhurself for her.....

Pray about it... there's nothing God cannot fix... he'll surely heal yhur broken heart...

Will you die if you spell 'you'?Your post is an eyesore.

gly:
This too bad!!!
God will surely heal and restore the marital love and trust you both shared from the inception!
I Will advise this, for the sake of the kids and uncertainty of life, tell her not under cohesion to change the name of ongoing building asset to your nuclear family (you and her) name.
May GOD bless your home Izito.

Why


The husband should get his own house and Investment, the couple should conbine resources to have a joint Investment or house

emmnprince:



On behalf of kizito, the one who plagiarized another person's stories, ma binu.

No vex. I can also share a life story with Nairalanders how a man played on his hardworking wife for twenty something years to the extent of using her hard-earned money and resources to train three children he had outside his matrimonial home.

When the matter cast, he never felt remorse, and the poor woman had to leave the house for him to pick the pieces of life together. She contemplated suicide. Wetin pain me is the effort she put in the marriage upon the recklessness of the man. If no be one thing, we for treat the man f-up on her behalf but . . .

Quite sad, karma surely will remain a bitch, the man will surely regret.

poweredcom:
All these happens for real and they call is marriage

Shame to nigerian women

@womenareapes1

Come and see this

only fools keep marrying those piece of shiit called Naija women

advanceDNA:
Is this new.? why is everybody making the woman’s attitude look surprising??

“Your money is ours, my money is mine”...has always been every woman’s conscious or unconscious slogan...

This is happening in every home..it’s just in different levels...


The only time a woman will truly tell u her financial position is when she doesn’t have anything...

Very true

Realestbae:

I don't understand why is everybody sounding like is a big deal, maybe because a man is the victim here. Somebody like me that my husband refused to tell his monthly earnings, he does thing for his family without my knowledge, this is a man that refused to give me 300k for business but sent his mother 200k to fix her car, pay part of her house rent even when she is richer than my husband and clearly can afford her needs, a man that doesn't care about our fertility state though through my mom's help am seeking medical attention, a man that I don't know anything about his finance and expenditure. I thank God that am not doing anything for now cause it enabled me to know the kind of man he is.By the time I start earning he will know that karma is a bitch as in I will show him pepper

I doubt you truly have the capacity to earn, manage money and multiplying money, if you do you won't write what you have written

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property y…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

.....who knows, when she has built her life and reduced urs, she will look for one silly excuse to seek a divorce and live free the way she wants.......maybe marry a younger man (who we dont even quite know if she is seeing yet).......the devil is a saint compared to some women...a woman that can hide buildings and salary and properties for years without her husband's knowledge will one day do the unthinkable.....what am i even thinking self....some women are scum!....but sir, marriage is for better for worse......u don enter be say u don enter.....manage am like that but sleep with one of ur eyes open so u dont get caught unaware wen she makes some moves u may never recover from!

Realestbae:

I don't understand why is everybody sounding like is a big deal, maybe because a man is the victim here. Somebody like me that my husband refused to tell his monthly earnings, he does thing for his family without my knowledge, this is a man that refused to give me 300k for business but sent his mother 200k to fix her car, pay part of her house rent even when she is richer than my husband and clearly can afford her needs, a man that doesn't care about our fertility state though through my mom's help am seeking medical attention, a man that I don't know anything about his finance and expenditure. I thank God that am not doing anything for now cause it enabled me to know the kind of man he is.By the time I start earning he will know that karma is a bitch as in I will show him pepper

Were u doing something to earn money b4 u married him and he changed after u stopped earning? If yes, then he is very wrong but if no, who asked u to get married without finding a job or something to earn u a living? Who?

Mr man please man up. A real man does not bother about how much the wife earns. It is your responsibility to provide for the family. Yes I agree that it is painful when a wife hides her income from her spouse. Mine does not because she knows ab initio I don’t have any design at all on her pay. Just chin up and move on it is not worth the trouble, telling her to pay for a car you bought for her in my mind is petty.

McSquishi:
So what’s at issue here, really? All I can imagine is the secrecy... if he knew his wife’s salary does that mean he would not want to pay for rent, school fees, clothing? Why did he lost them as if it isn’t his duty to pay for those things?

The only reason a woman will not disclose to her husband how much money she makes or has is if he’s proven to be financially irresponsible.

Some men might see the wife making money and decide he doesn’t want to work so hard to support his family. He will become lazy. Once the wife notices this she might form a habit of not disclosing

Some men once they learn the wife has money will suddenly be wanting to invest in this or that money wasting project and she will learn not to disclose because of that.

Some men learn the wife has money and will want to borrow without ever returning the money to her...

As far as purchasing land and property, do men buy land and property always with the wife’s knowledge? Maybe she would surprise him later but he was too busy snooping through her messages and ruined the surprise...

The story seems very fake in that no mother is going to allow her kids to suffer in poverty when she has money.

if that's u on ur dp, u are just an empty vessel in a very beautiful face.

u are quite daft and highly unintelligent.

what a dustbin&waste of so much beauty.

how can u ask *What's the issue here*?

of things for u to say or start with.


So u don't see any issue here?

I'm ashamed of wherever u r coming from.


Then u became more daft by asking *why did he list all those things as if it's not his duty, bla bla bla*

so if it's his duty, his wife and himself shouldnt be transparent towards financial accountbility & expenditures?


Then u even became Stupider by giving only one excuse for why a woman wouldn't be transparent.

To you, the only reason *is if the man is financially irresponsible*
how can u be so thin in ur reasoning?

Then your condition got worse by saying *he was busy snooping around*

Didn't u read the part he said the messages popped up by coincidence, when she didn't log out from the laptop?

u stupid shaaaa. FUNKE!! JESU!!!


Then u concluded your oscar deserving act with your last paragraph.
That Story sounds fake.

Antie, abeg what sounds fake in the story?


The only thing fake here, is the coconut in your head that has been exchanged for your brain.

U said no woman would allow her children to suffer in poverty when she has money.


use your head for once.

Do u know that SUFFERING is SUBJECTIVE

PEOPLE CAN BE SUFFERING DELIBERATELY, BUT THEY WOULD SEE IT AS SACRIFICE OR ECONOMICAL.

They would never see it as suffering or punishment.


Sorry for all my abusive words on you, but when one is very foolish, this is the only way he or she can get the message.

Klass99:
Izito, this is not your personal story nah, why copy and paste it as if it is? This same tale has been posted by other users, at least they wrote at the beginning that "shared as seen"! You want to bamboozle us by carrying on as if it's your saga.

@ Sisisioge, this is not a Nigerian tale o! It is Ghanian, when I first saw this tale the currency was in cedis. I don't understand the OP's intentions in changing it from cedi to naira and making it look like this whole story is about him (a Nigerian couple and about a
Nigerian woman)

Don't mind the guy.
Below is the true story.

*My Wife’s Salary Was a Mystery Until I discovered How Much She’s Truly Worth.*


In 2016 she told me her salary was GHC950. And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only Ghc350 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. GHC4,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 
What will you do if you are the man or woman

petitejolie:
call wat dad? He should stay away from that family. He can settle with his wife but set conditions and have nothing to do with her family . No third party

I think the man will forever be his inlaw and we never know what the future holds. He "might" be a saviour somehow in the future.

To err is human, to forgive is divine.. Let it go to have peace

sweetrace:
Op, you are responsible for your family’s upkeep irrespective of your wife’s earnings. She lied to you about her income because you obviously can’t handle it. We have a number of Nigerian men who will do nothing if they know their wives earn a great deal. These days we have men who are gold diggers. I’m not calling you one. I’m telling you why women now hide their earnings. She did not tell you because she wanted to be treated like a woman: loved and pampered by her husband irrespective of his earnings. She lived the lifestyle you could provide and you’re complaining!

God bless you ....

I hate what the lady did but the man might have been responsible for what the wife did ....

The wife didn't trust him a bit ....

Now after everything, see the decisions the husband made .... See hasty and immature decisions ...

It's obvious the Husband is Immature and the wife loves him but needed to treat his Immaturity...

Unfortunately for her, she no sabi hide the fact of her payslips ... only God knows how many Nights she would have been itching to tell him everything But hindered because of his Immaturity!!


if the husband should leave the wife, he will suffer most .... Rewire her brain from her extended families and bring her back to your home ...

infact, contribute to her father's project ... That's your capital at t0 then start reaping profit from t1 to Infinity ....

na me and her go spend that 400k and our families ... she wont hide a thing again for life !

BigYash:
All these qqones saying it happened in CEDI's country. I can tell you that worst are the doings of some Nigeria women. I pity for some husbands wen lack wisdom.

reading those comments annoys me. I don't care where the story came from, I just take lessons, read sensible comments cause I know things twice as bad happens in Nigeria. Besides, I don't use twitter very much these days cause of tacha these, erica that trending everyday. So I haven't seen else where.

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

You need to do a DNA test for your kids. You can't trust her in anyway.