jmoore:


Nna, that's your own opinion.

In my family, the wife comes first before any child.


Where was his authority when my father was sick?

Well, don't worry. You will soon learn a lot of things about the Igbo tradition.

Wait until the Umunna gathers. Are you not wondering why despite all be did to your father, he still has the temerity to say you did not inform him about your father's death?


I doubt if you ever attend the Umunna meetings in the village, you will understand a lot of things better.

You people may decide to deal with him smartly. It's simple. Accuse him of killing your dad, that since he has made such utterance,and and if you can get somebody that will say in the umunaan that he heard him talk about the kidnapping issue, use that and deal with him.

Outside that, he is entitled to every right and privileges of his father's house, especially as the first son.

Your mum is just a woman, not even a daughter.

Go and look at High Chief Lulu Briggs case, at the end of the day, the son was in charge during the burial ceremony.

Ask yourself this question, who is going to perform the ashes to ashes rites during the burial?

It's the son not the wife, so in this case the first son. Be smart.
Be wise.

This is huge.
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Macphenson:


Well, don't worry. You will soon learn a lot of things about the Igbo tradition.

Wait until the Umunna gathers. Are you not wondering why despite all be did to your father, he still has the temerity to say you did not inform him about your father's death?


I doubt if you ever attend the Umunna meetings in the village, you will understand a lot of things better.

You people may decide to deal with him smartly. It's simple. Accuse him of killing your dad, that since he has made such utterance,and and if you can get somebody that will say in the umunaan that he heard him talk about the kidnapping issue, use that and deal with him.

Outside that, he is entitled to every right and privileges of his father's house, especially as the first son.

Your mum is just a woman, not even a daughter.

Go and look at High Chief Lulu Briggs case, at the end of the day, the son was in charge during the burial ceremony.

Ask yourself this question, who is going to perform the ashes to ashes rites during the burial?

It's the son not the wife, so in this case the first son. Be smart.
Be wise.

You said I should look at Briggs case when you haven't looked at it.

This is completely different from Brigg's case.
It was not about who should be in charge of the burial but circumstances that led to his death.

A son that wishes his father dies has the audacity to do ashes to ashes. No be thunder em dey invite from ancestors?

This is huge.
Meanwhile get a quick and affordable loan with no collateral
requirements. check my signature for more details.

jmoore:


I am Igbo.

Is tradition supreme?

That's why I need a legal perspective. Because some umunna no get sense.

please my brother thread with care. Tradition must be followed. He is the first and leave it at that. Let the spirit of your dad judge him.

jesmond3945:
please my brother thread with care. Tradition must be followed. He is the first and leave it at that. Let the spirit of your dad judge him.

What does tradition say about a son that plans to kill his father?

His input is not needed.

We took care of our dad during his sickness without him. So we can go ahead with the burial without him.

I will put Umunna and co in their place if they dare to support my stepbrother to disrupt the burial.

jmoore:


What does tradition say about a son that plans to kill his father?

His input is not needed.

We took care of our dad during his sickness without him. So we can go ahead with the burial without him.

I will put Umunna and co in their place if they dare to support my stepbrother to disrupt the burial.

I have read your story, the advices given and your replies and I have this to say you boast too much. Listen, digest and make peace.

"He wants his father dead, He was not there when he was sick" and so? You are not in the position to be the judge. Let him perform his role without you and your mother acting God in his life.

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Kamachicho:


I have read your story, the advices given and your replies and I have this to say you boast too much. Listen, digest and make peace.

"He wants his father dead, He was not there when he was sick" and so? You are not in the position to be the judge. Let him perform his role without you and your mother acting God in his life.

It is not about boasting.

He has no role to perform.

He should remain where he was when my father was alive.

You talk about peace. How can you make peace with a terrorist?
Easy to preach. The only one that needs a sermon is my stepbrother.

Myer:


You obviously don't know what you're talking about.
How can tradition be supreme over the legal system?

Words of mouth isn't sufficient to disown him either. All I read is a battle of supremacy and it is difficult to interfere unless you hear the brother's side.

One question remains why don't they want him at his father's burial? Why not involve him all through the process?

jmoore:

You said I should look at Briggs case when you haven't looked at it.

This is completely different from Brigg's case.
It was not about who should be in charge of the burial but circumstances that led to his death.

A son that wishes his father dies has the audacity to do ashes to ashes. No be thunder em dey invite from ancestors?

Wetin dey cause the wish you no talk. Like they say, there are 3 sides to every story, yours, his, and the truth. My advise, take your family issues off NL and try sought things amicably. This life is too short and stressful on its own than to create new stress to it.

jmoore:


What does tradition say about a son that plans to kill his father?

His input is not needed.

We took care of our dad during his sickness without him. So we can go ahead with the burial without him.

I will put Umunna and co in their place if they dare to support my stepbrother to disrupt the burial.

you want to fight umunna? Hmmm your father will not be happy

jmoore:

Authority over who?
He has authority over my mother?

My mother(the spouse) of my father is still alive.


Where was his authority when my father was sick?

My stepbrother hired kidnappers to kidnap my father.
He said it openly in the market that my father will die.

So which authority does he deserve? The news of my father's death is good news to him.

He is the Okpala of the family, at the demise of your father, he is the next in line. Fact is, your father didn't follow the tradition to disown him so his pronouncement is invalid

jmoore:


What does tradition say about a son that plans to kill his father?

His input is not needed.

We took care of our dad during his sickness without him. So we can go ahead with the burial without him.

I will put Umunna and co in their place if they dare to support my stepbrother to disrupt the burial.

Lol firstly, he is your half brother (Elder) not step brother. Secondly, you can't fight Umuna and win lol...

jesmond3945:
you want to fight umunna? Hmmm your father will not be happy

They should do the right thing. Any bad interference won't make my father happy either.

AishaYesufu:

Lol firstly, he is your half brother (Elder) not step brother. Secondly, you can't fight Umuna and win lol...

Umunna is not above the court.

AishaYesufu:

He is the Okpala of the family, at the demise of your father, he is the next in line. Fact is, your father didn't follow the tradition to disown him so his pronouncement is invalid

We will see till May. I will update the thread by then. A precedent must surely be set. Can't be intimated by nonsense tradition.

jmoore:


He is my stepbrother. The first child.

My father disowned him.

I am talking about someone that keeps saying it openly that our father will die. No reasonable father will stay in same compound with such a son.

He made attempts to drag properties while my father was alive.

My father died recently. And the burial plans are ongoing.

My stepbrother obviously scared could not enter our compound to say what he wanted. He was led by two village members to come and deliver his message.

He complained that he is the first son and therefore has the right to be informed about our father's death.

He also said the burial will not hold without his consent.

This is someone that wants my father dead, so why should we inform him?

My father had stroke in 2019 and he didn't care to come and make peace.


I am not afraid of him because I can definitely handle him physically.

I want to explore legal way of stopping him and probably one of my wicked uncle who is supporting him from anything concerning the burial.

If the kins men can't handle him. Make arrangements for the military presence on that day, I didn't say police ohhh

Use the military, go to the nearest army cantonment and make enquiries, you will be directed to the appropriate authority and the cost to pay

They will give you army and there presence with put sanity on that day

This is what you have to do in secret

They will arrive a night before burial and go the day of burial or the next day depending on your timing with them

But make sure you feed them very well

Do this secretly

jmoore:

We will see till May. I will update the thread by then. A precedent must surely be set. Can't be intimated by nonsense tradition.

I usually will not chook mouth in this type of matter, but this thing you said here was definitely revealed to you from above and is the blatant naked truth! We Nigerians attach a lot of useless sentiment to both good and bad traditions. A tradition is a set of practices that a group of people have accepted and decided to practice. Tradition started one day. You too can start a new tradition today and it may become the norm 10, 20, 100 years from now. As long as you are not doing anything illegal, you are free to start your own tradition. This is the plain naked truth that they do not want you to know and will threaten you with Ummuna, "Tradition". "The sabbath was made for man and not man for the sabbath". This means that if tradition is not convenient for you, start your own!

jesmond3945:
you want to fight umunna? Hmmm your father will not be happy

Umunna are not dieties as they are mortals like everyone, where and when they choose to go.off-tangent because of selfishness, wickedness and greed then you can give them "the.middle finger" treatment. No one should grovel at their feet because of any tradition that enables unfairness and selfishness.

Haven't you seen Umunna who are instgating the divisions in their late brother's family because.it helps them to selfishly gain material benefits from the contending parties?

Some families during burials do have the presence of some military men, e get why.

The reality is that urbanization is lessening the influence the Umunna hold, 50 years or so from now the Umunna of then will majorly be the today's teenagers who are steeped in virtual life (internet) and you can best imagine it.

Note we are evolving away from groupthink as people are becoming more questioning of some practices and it is becoming increasingly difficult to gag those doing the questioning.

Umunna ndi ojoo is not to the interest of Ndigbo

I am not Igbo but OP, calm down and thread carefully.

I don't think its right not to inform him about his Dads death, he should also be at the burial the only thing is to ensure he doesn't scatter the burial that's all and this can be achieved with the presence of security agents.

But if you are saying he shouldn't come for the burial at all that will be hard.

Everything is not by gragra, resolve the issue amicably.

smatt1711:
You should state your tribe. Every tribe has a way of dealing with something like this , but if you are IGBO then the question I will be asking you is how did your father disown him, in Law you can't disown a child that is yours , then in igbo culture you can disown but not by mere words , the man must call his kinsmen and give them reason the effected child should not be part of his family ,why the kinsmen is important is because one person does not own a child , the man disowning his son is also the same thing with the entire kinsmen disowning him, he will not live in that village again , ...... but what I understand clearly is that your brother and your father was not in good terms , that still did not stop him as the 1st son, and my understanding your father did not disown him and that is why your uncle accompanied him, he is still a member of that village and also your father's 1st son hence he is still living in that village , he can not be in that village and play a second son role ,that role can not be swapped in igbo culture, is either he is disowned and asked to leave the village or he is still in the village , and once he is still in the village he is still your father's 1st son and he should not be consulted but he should head over everything concerning your father's burial, Igbo tradition for you.

Thank you for this!
It's obvious that the other wife and kids might be involved in the issues that led to the rift.
Poster
If your mother didn't want to accommodate a first son she should d not have married your father.
Your mother was bathing your father... Who else was to do this?
Please do what is right.
Your father was probably pressured in his ill health and dependancy to kick his first son out but he never disowned him.
The blood will speak!
You are going on a perilous path.

mutter:

Thank you for this!
It's obvious that the other wife and kids might be involved in the issues that led to the rift.
Poster
If your mother didn't want to accommodate a first son she should d not have married your father.
Your mother was bathing your father... Who else was to do this?
Please do what is right.
Your father was probably pressured in his ill health and dependancy to kick his first son out but he never disowned him.
The blood will speak!
You are going on a perilous path.

'It is obvious'? Obviously not everyone is wise. I expected different reactions from my post, so I am not surprised.


You don't know genesis and you think you have the audacity to interpret revelation. So myopic!!

My mom took care of him as his own son from toddler till adulthood.

Note: I never knew he was my half brother till his rebellion started.

There was a day he requested to see his biological mother. My father took him there. He couldn't stay with his own mother and requested to come back after few days.



You said my father was pressured in his ill health to kick out the first son. That's a foolish interpretation from what I have presented.


My Father suffered stroke in 2019. He has already disowned him more than 10 years ago.


It's ridiculous how you left the issues of death threats, kidnapping.

Anything my father did was by his own choice. Only a foolish father will live in the same house with a son that plans to kill him.


You have no idea how many times I separated them in a fight. You have no idea!!


Blood will speak? Let's see if an enemy will have the audacity to do ashes to ashes ritual on a body he hates and planned to kill.

This matter strong Sha...what a rebellious child! kidnapping and fighting his own father...tufiakwa.

smatt1711:
You should state your tribe. Every tribe has a way of dealing with something like this , but if you are IGBO then the question I will be asking you is how did your father disown him, in Law you can't disown a child that is yours , then in igbo culture you can disown but not by mere words , the man must call his kinsmen and give them reason the effected child should not be part of his family ,why the kinsmen is important is because one person does not own a child , the man disowning his son is also the same thing with the entire kinsmen disowning him, he will not live in that village again , ...... but what I understand clearly is that your brother and your father was not in good terms , that still did not stop him as the 1st son, and my understanding your father did not disown him and that is why your uncle accompanied him, he is still a member of that village and also your father's 1st son hence he is still living in that village , he can not be in that village and play a second son role ,that role can not be swapped in igbo culture, is either he is disowned and asked to leave the village or he is still in the village , and once he is still in the village he is still your father's 1st son and he should not be consulted but he should head over everything concerning your father's burial, Igbo tradition for you.

Let's push this further. In the igbo culture, what if the father did not pay the bride price of the mother of the suppposed first son( born out of wedlock) and the man eventually married another woman legally and refused to accept(disown) the child born out of wedlock until his death. His property was willed to the second guy. The man never introduced the older guy as his son, never accepted him in his house and never introduced him to the village/villagers.
It was at the man's death that the other children decided to bring him in but not as the Senior son.


What does the igbo culture say about this. BTW, this happened to a colleague/friend

Cc. Macphenson

jmoore:


Inform wetin?

Someone that wants his father dead.

Which right?

Is right only about burial?

Did he come when my father was sick?

My mom has been the one bathing my father since September 2019 till he passed away this month..

Someone that wishes his father to die. And you say right?

Ignore that fool called ahnie. Go through her posts, you'll see how unintelligent she is

I'm from Anambra and i have buried both my mum and my dad.

My advice, don't be the person to confront your step-brother.

Go to the head of your umunna and present your case. Be very truthful when you do so and make sure that there are at least two elderly members of the umunna when you present your case.

Let it be the umunna to tell your brother to stand down. Not you. Umunna is very powerful. Don't fight them.

If you can win them over, the issue is already half solved.

My 2kobo

jmoore:

We will see till May. I will update the thread by then. A precedent must surely be set. Can't be intimated by nonsense tradition.

Please I will like to know if this your half / step brother has other siblings .
If yes,what is their position on this matter.

I have seen this kind of ( Power Play ) before.
And I tell you I already know how it will end.
My advice to you is "Small Small Carefully Carefully"

Ogeneigbo1:


Please I will like to know if this your half / step brother has other siblings .
If yes,what is their position on this matter.

I have seen this kind of ( Power Play ) before.
And I tell you I already know how it will end.
My advice to you is "Small Small Carefully Carefully"

His mother remarried after my father divorced her. I have never met her mother neither do I know about her family.